i am 30 or 40 years old and i do not need this

First seven words of the description: "Florence is not here to make decisions".

Ah. Well then. Never mind.

Anyway I thought you might like to chew on that and have it in mind next time someone is being weird on your post.

important guidelines for creating a 0.5 draft:

tell don't show (showing is for real drafts. this is just saying what happens in what order and maybe how some characters felt about it)

plan to keep 0% of it (maybe if a good description happened to occur to you, you can keep it, but do not aim to come up with words you can keep)

change up the tense (i.e. if your real drafts are in past tense, switch to present, or vice versa)(this isn't strictly required but helps me mentally separate it)

expect it to be much shorter than a real draft (when i flesh out my 0.5 drafts, they easily end up being 4-5x as long)

Last year, a few weeks before Gilana @meangirlnurse's birthday, we were at a museum with a couple friends. Naturally, we stopped by the gift shop before we left. At the gift shop, Gilana found a necklace. She spent some time hemming and hawing before ultimately deciding it was a little too expensive to justify. This, of course, set off my Potential Birthday Gift sensors, and I began to scheme.

I could've just told her I'd get it as an early birthday gift, but no, I wanted to be sneaky. So I agreed with her that it was such a shame that it was a little too pricey, and then as soon as she walked off, I snatched the necklace and hid it in my fist so she wouldn't see I had it.

What I failed to consider is that "quickly grabbing and hiding a necklace so I can purchase it without my girlfriend noticing" looks exactly the same as "quickly grabbing and hiding a necklace so I can steal it." Moments after I grabbed the necklace, as I was strategically meandering toward one of the checkouts (while trying not to look like I was angling for a checkout, because sneaking), one of the cashiers very loudly and pointedly asked, "ARE YOU READY TO CHECK OUT?"

This got Gilana's attention, due to the loud and pointed nature of the question, which meant I had to exercise my meager acting skills to be like "Oh, no, I'm still looking!" and continue to browse under the cashier's judgmental stare.

Once I was sure Gilana was once again distracted, I hurried to that same cashier to whisper that I was buying the present sneakily for someone who was there with me. Apparently that happens a lot! I assume usually less suspiciously. So with that all cleared up, I bought the necklace, and the cashier put it in a little box with the museum's logo on it, which I stashed in my pocket before rejoining the others.

Because I was sooooo proud of my stealth, I showed off the necklace to each of our friends, one at a time, while Gilana had her back turned. It had been a close call, but I pulled it off!