my poor heart is my only friend

time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.

IT’S MARCH

Uh… It’s still May…

It’s august

Nothing has it for me. Not even Poob.

just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one

we don't hate J.J. Abrams enough

Morgan & Morgan. For the people.

Fieger Law: All We Do Is Win

I don't have a picture, but our area is flooded with a dude holding a comedically large hammer and looking to sue the shit out of any truckers that have injured you.

This is just how lawyers are.

[ID: “One man’s [“Yeah, the Time Knife, we’ve all seen it” meme] is another man’s [“Was anyone going to tell me?” meme] /End ID]

internet heiroglyphics

i think people are starting to forget what the LA in LARP means

*nodding sagely* Los Angeles Role Play

okay gang lets find that son of a bitch markiplier

sometimes. things that have a lot of kudos. are worse

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

Im gonna lock in in August so hard you dont even knowwwww <- lying

Wait how the hell does she have two different bangs at once

You cannot comprehend the powers of an italian woman from new jersey