We Are Forbidden To Dream Again

And there you have, in a nutshell, my objection to the word as it is used in modern fandom.

"I don't write that stuff!"

Yeah you do. 'Porn' has never meant not starting from characters in a fanfic context. Even things labeled "Plot? What plot?" tend to be loaded down with a million nods to fanon and people's deep thoughts about their ship. The "plot" they lack is a complete romcom story or a casefic mystery plot.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Well I'm from Northsouth Caliyorktana and we use Dude gender neutrally so like. i dont have to change anything about myself. surely OP couldnt possibly be aware of the unique and arcane culture of Major US Cities.

Oh my god i am SO SORRY im SO SORRY I CALLED A TRANS WOMAN DUDE ONCE can you please EXECUTE ME ON THE SPOT how will i EVER MAKE UP FOR THIS i am SO SORRY

Try cool fun gender neutral terms like Y'all! Comrade! Friendaroni! Call everyone Swashbuckler! This is definitely an actionable alternative! Bucko! My Fellow Possums!

•A story

•Why you follow me

•A cute message

•One thing you want to tell me