i swear im not crazy

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

It wandered across mine. I shall help it travel forward.

this is not a place of honor

Oh hey post of Ozymandius, good to see you again standing on your feet in a desert where no one remembers you

Let the path of this post continue.

"nobody likes a complainer" you say, like an idiot, as if thriving ecosystems of friendships aren't blossoming every day based solely on people vocally disliking the same things in similar ways

*reaches out my hand in love & friendship* come be a Hater with me

ultimately i just want to be an object that attract crows

"is this why you keep stealing people's gold fillings while they're asleep" no that's unrelated

this website just feels like home

Between the nothingburger and the everything bagel, there is the somewhat sandwich.

using gluten-free potato flour, chickpea water, artificial sweetener, lactose-free milk, and that ‘cant believe it’s not butter’ shit to make what scientists are calling “improbable cake”

this sounds improbable. can i have a slice?

unlikely

So does it really exist? Or is it a lie??

Two things can be real.

Please do not continue to question the probability of my statistically aberrant cake

Handled raw chicken. Now I can't touch anything ever again until I forget that I did that.

how did you make this post

Fuck

"14 servings per package" listen man if you invite 13 people over to your house, buy a single "party size" bag of chips, and then you and all your guests each eat seven (7) chips and go "hmm, that was enough, I am satisfied! :)" then I'm coming into your house, and inhaling every single one of you and swallowing you without chewing like a baleen whale filtering krill.

So is mickeys dick smasher the new terminology for an inverted bell curve

@worldheritagepostorganization @hellsite-hall-of-fame

I wish i had a context for this. But I really dont.

I was all ready to “um, actually” this, but, um, actually there’s about 3-4 grams of iron in a person, which x400 is 1.2-1.6kg, which is a smallish but not unreasonable sword. So. Math checks out.

How would you extract the iron, though? The more practical solution would be to kill a mere hundred men, then mix 1 part blood with 3 parts standard molten iron, imo. Cheaper and faster, while still retaining the edge that only evil magic can give you.

Or, you could just make the sword of iron, and then use the blood to temper the blade.

“high fantasy math” - the tag I should have expected to write some day.

I’m so proud of everyone in this post

Well I guess I have future plans I need to see come to fruition

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

yall are really into this one huh

some of yall didn't know that Lady Gaga is currently touring a concert that's plot revolves around toxic yuri selfcest and it really shows

Lady Gaga does the most lady Gaga thing

I had a dream that people started using the 🪷 emoji as a reaction and it was universally understood to mean “kill [] and you will be reincarnated as a lotus blossom.” Like someone would talk about going to the White House and people would spam 🪷🪷🪷 in the replies, and everyone just knew without having to be told that that meant “hey you should assassinate the president.”