not an aestetic blog

i thought of most of these in the shower. in my opinion, they’re funny.

he got stuck trying to demonstrate how an unsub would have done something and the fire brigade had to rescue him (dave found it hilarious)

he answered his work phone thinking it was his personal phone and accidentally said hey baby to strauss

on that note, she once handed him a juice box because he looked like he was about to pass out and he accidentally called her mom

somebody thought he was just an intern/trainee agent so he got stuck doing admin because he was too southern to explain that he was actually the new profiler

he ate strawberry cheesecake at his first big function and had an allergic reaction in front of everyone. gideon was just confused but dave took him to the hospital

family, friends, potential suspects, potential victims you name it would flirt with him because he was this young man with floppy hair but he was so awkward and bad at accepting compliments that he would just nod and hope that they’d move on

they didn’t and more than once he went home with somebody’s number which haley thought was hilarious because he wore his wedding ring all the time and was never creepy

he slipped down a hill and fell in poison ivy and could tell from the beginning exactly where the rash was developing but he wasn’t about to tell dave because it was embarrassing, so he kept trying to hide it but then dave worked it out and luckily, it was a local case because haley was the only person that he would let near him

more than once, he ended up in a hostage situation because he was basically reid- he’d just go in with no weapon and no vest like hello unsub, i’m aaron

he went too long without sleeping, eating and drinking and just passed out in the middle of the precinct they were in (dave unintentionally caught him)

because it was a case in the south, the admin ladies had already basically adopted him and when he came round, they were all fussing over him and he was mortified

on more than one occasion, other people assumed that he was just the kid or the intern of another agent and because the people involved were either too awkward (hotch), too confused (gideon) or too busy laughing at the people being awkward and confused (rossi) it was an assumption that wasn’t challenged

I need your help!

According to my mom, privacy is not a human right, and because I live under her roof I do not deserve it! I want to prove a point to her. This is how you can help:

You’re human disorder incarnate

01x01 vs. 15x19

GIVEAWAY

Okay so I searched the bunker to find something to give away and I found this under my pillow and Idk what it is but it’s kinda pretty and feels like maybe it’s something some of you might want

Rules and info:

You have to be following me. Not because this is a grab for followers, but because this is a giveaway for the folks that have put up me over the years, or even recently

No giveaway blogs. Feel free to reblog this as many times as you’d like, but you can’t win if you’d made a whole separate blog just for the purpose of winning the giveaway. Sucks, I know. Deal with it.

Like or reblog before November 28th, 2020 6:00pm CDT. I’ll use a random generator to pick a winner.

I will ship to any country. If you win it, you win it. Congrats.

You must be willing to give me your address if you win. For obvious reasons, I’ll need that.

Might also give you a lemon or something idk

Go nuts. Thanks for putting up with me. Have fun trying to get ....whatever this is.

i think misha did the thing where he panicked because he didn’t know how to answer a question without saying Too Much so he said a thing that he maybe used to think, then he realized that what he said was still The Wrong Thing to Say so he panicked and backtracked with “i’M jUsT sPeCuLaTiNg ThO”

what’s really important to remember here is that misha is your classic “looks like he has it all together, actually has no clue what’s going on” dude. it’s just the wii start-up menu music in his head playing to a montage of pretty sunsets he saw one time, facial expressions that west/maison have made that make him cry, and then a small man in the corner screaming “DON’T SAY ‘FUCK’ DON’T SAY ‘FUCK’ DON’T SAY ‘FUCK’”

just a little southeast of Phoenix, AZ, this is how the Outback Steakhouse restaurants line up.

WHAT IS IN THE CENTER

IS THAT A GATE TO HELL

I don’t really know what people generally call this method of sigil making, so I’m just calling it “Letter Shaping” because you’re using the basic shapes from certain letters. This is the most common form of sigil making, and it allows the most creative influence. As you see above the sigils are for nearly the same thing, yet the sigils came out completely different. Not because the purpose was different, but because I approached them both a different creative way, and that’s what I like so much about this method. There’s a lot of freedom and personalization involved.

→ You Failed.

What brings a king to his knees? Fear alone cannot, for he can carry fear for years without falling. Cloaked in reds, oranges and yellows he stands tall, straight-backed and proud, glorying in his own bravery as he takes charge. The crown of the ruler sits heavy on his head, and Mars, the god of War, forever knowing love as inseparable from conflict, lives in his heart. 

He does not acknowledge trauma. His selflessness and leadership lie in his foundation, but weakening it is the role he was forced to play as a child. In the absence of a father, he became one. He became an Emperor, a keeper of order, sooner than his soul was ready, and in the void of guidance, demons came into being: lovelessness, worthlessness, and failure.

There was never anger. It was always fear.

I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know – I know that it’s – i-it’s just always been there. And when things go bad, it just – it comes out. And I can’t – I can’t stop it. No matter how – [Sniffles] how bad I want to, I just can’t stop it.

It was always fear.

CAITLIN: That thing. Were you scared? 

DEAN: Always am.

But like I said, it isn’t the fear that brings him to his knees. Let’s take a look back at that first quote grab, from 15x09. In a very helpful move from production, they used the then sequence to remind us of it.

Dean, falling to his knees. His own stubbornness, his own resistance to change caused him to fail at his most sacred mission – to protect and to save others. So often in absence we accept the truth. That someone else was right.

“I just let you go. ‘Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong.” (15x09) “She’s right. Caitlin’s right. Caitlin I’m sorry. I didn’t want to believe you.” (15x16)

Strange, how that bites him in the ass so often. Perhaps ignoring your trauma doesn’t make you healthy? Maybe, just maybe, our pain and our guilt isn’t for our mistakes, but for how much time we allowed to pass before we fixed them? The ignorance of his own youth places the guilt on Dean, telling him he’s failed. And he falls right to his knees.

BABA YAGA: Hey, Dean. I’ve been waiting for you. You know what you have to do. 

DEAN: You– you’re– 

BABA YAGA: You failed.

Dean, of whom too much was always expected, damaged himself in the struggle to fulfill the destiny laid out for him. He was motherless, and the healing of love and care, the feminine energy provided to us by the Empress, not only evaded him – he evaded it. To delve deeper into the self, beyond purpose, was to face the demons that had come to him in youth. To face the lies he’d told himself.

He sooner believes that he killed the monster than accept that he may not have, because the guilt of failure would mean more lost lives to his name. 

The monster preyed only on children, but we all have an inner child. A neglected, fearful inner child never allowed to grow beyond their circumstance, trapped in the machinations of time like a rat in a cage. Unable to move on. And Dean’s neglected self tells him what he must do if he fails in protecting others: die. Just like in 13x05, “Advanced Thatanology”, when he chooses Death in a vain attempt to help the trapped, and believes he deserves his death for having failed to protect others.

What’s the remedy? What keeps a heart beating, if that heart believes it only deserves to beat if its life means preserving the lives of others? Defeating the demons of the neglected self. Lovelessness, worthlessness, and fear.

The guilt of inaction, of refusing to speak a truth or acknowledge a mistake, leads almost inevitably to the Emperor failing at his heart’s mission: to love, guide and protect. To keep his kingdom whole and at peace. To overcome our demons, we must look critically at the past. We must feed the loveless, neglected inner child, and forgive ourselves for not having done so sooner. We must accept that change is inevitable and always a good thing.

Let’s think back to Death’s words to Dean in 13x05.

BILLIE: You’ve changed. When you bargained with me just now, you could’ve asked to go back, to live.

DEAN: Well, I figured with you in charge, there’s no getting back for me.

BILLIE: That doesn’t sound like the Dean Winchester I know and love. The man who has been dead so many times but it never seems to stick. Maybe you’re not that guy anymore, they guy who saves the world, the guy who always thinks he’ll win no matter what. You have changed. And you tell people it’s not a big deal. You tell people you’ll work through it but you know you won’t, you can’t and that scares the hell out of you. Or… am I wrong?

And now, after the passage of two years, while some things still need change (Sam’s exasperation at the end of 15x16), change has taken place. Dean has grown. 

CAITLIN: That thing. Were you scared? 

DEAN: Always am.

CAITLIN: You have changed. The old you never would have admitted that. 

DEAN: Well, I’m not sure that’s a good thing. 

CAITLIN: I think so. What do they say about getting older? You tell the truth more because you know that lies – they don’t make anything better.

The Emperor was forced to reckon with the wounds of the past, and acknowledge the self buried by it. The lies we tell ourselves are the most damaging, because it traps the truth on our tongues before we can share it with others. To keep his kingdom in order, he must change.

The anger was always there, and it was always fear, and now is always better than then.

Hit. The damn. Button. If it was good enough for you to get that far, it is more than good enough for you to press a button and validate the author and their efforts. Kudos aren’t the Oscars, you’re not giving them an Emmy, okay, whatever you’re reading doesn’t have to be good enough to be critically acclaimed. It’s just to say, “hey, I read this and I liked it enough to get to the bottom of the page, and now you know that someone’s still reading your stuff even if I’m too shy to comment.” That’s it.