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shoutout to the woman from my high school martial arts class who liked to get me in joint locks and then joke about how I was easy to catch. you cannot comprehend how psychosexually formative that was for me

imagine, if you will, having an adolescent half-crush on someone way older than you, which is also confusingly blurred up with admiration of them as a role model. now imagine that you and that person are in a social environment where it is acceptable to (platonically, consensually) choke someone. I think I was very normal about it considering the circumstances

she would demonstrate takedowns on her husband (also in the class, and who was not a small man) before we got to try them and the first time I saw her twist him around and down onto the floor like it was easy my entire abdomen clenched

I cannot stress enough how eager this guy was to be manhandled (womanhandled?) and flipped around by his wife. he was her de facto guinea pig whenever she got to teach and I never saw him unenthusiastic about it. he'd set himself up for a joint lock fully smiling. the other adults in the class occasionally teased him about it (being so quick to let your wife put you in a submission hold tends to raise a few eyebrows), and I always kind of wanted to defend him but what would I have said? like, don't worry. I won't judge you. I also like being pinned down by your wife

That last sentance really hits ya like a psychosexually formative takedown

i always see “tag fav fruit” posts but i’ve never seen a fav veg post so rb & tag your favourite vegetable

there are two states of being. rubbing a dragon's belly, and not rubbing a dragon's belly. If you find yourself to be part of the latter, please seriously consider your life choices, as well as what you could do to rub a dragon's belly right now.

if you find yourself part of the former: I am not letting you get away ^w^

theres a whole album of song titles you can make just from the words of this tweet

this makes smoking weed sound so much cooler than it is

Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker

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That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.

Someone somewhere is the best in the world at sucking dick and it's meaningless. They aren't famous. There's no prize. It's not a competition. None of us are competitors. You don't have anything to prove. All that matters is that you keep sucking. Maybe we can even suck on it together.

This will sound biased because I am a girl with freckles everywhere, I think it’s very important to appreciate girls with freckles everywhere. She’s got cute little dots all over her body how could you not love that