The Sharpening

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I can just see the way he drops to the darkest pits of subspace after he finally convinced you to pee in his mouth.

And after he's done drinking, he would want to kiss you, but you just laugh and mock him, calling him "disgusting", maybe even slapping him when he tries to lean in.

I wanna go out and meet people, and i get a little unstable when I don't socialize, but it's SO FUCKING HOOOOOT!!! I WANNA STAY INDOORS BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKING HEAT.

I just get so so so frustrated because growing up, there were always these rules and theatrics to play all the time. Be it for dynamics between family, community, relationships. And it tired me THE FUCK OUT.

And as I grew older, I abandoned that because i hate the disingenuous nature of it all. And I already struggle with feeling emotions in general, so having to Play A Game just makes it all much worse.

So it's like "ok whatever happens spontaneously is better", I'm not going to adhere to rules likes "only kiss on the third date" or whatever. Who cares? No one fucking cares.