So, I was asked at least twice now about my characterization on fics and I told them that, as a dog trainer with 20+ years of experience specializing in dog behavior, I assigned each Link a breed/traits of dogs and upped them to human level psychology.
As that explanation would take WAY too much space on aoo3, I'm posting it here.
Note, these are humanized explanations of breeds, not purely dog psychology, just the way I tend to describe to people to make it easier to digest.
And, to add, this will be my fun semi unhinged rant about my two favorite things.
They are the old school drover guardian breed. A well bred rottie is hard to provoke into a full attack, as they are intent on guarding whatever it is they have designated as theirs, such as their family (or originally, their farmer's gold/farmer themself). They are independent thinkers, take longer than many larger breeds to hit full maturity, and have that high droving (cattle droving) drive. They are quite resilient in many ways and have high patience and tolerance for bullshit, but once you've managed to breach that long patience, you WILL remember that this dog can BITE. They bond hard and don't rehome as easily as some breeds, as each broken bond means the next is twice as hard to build as the previous one. As such, a multi rehomed rottie often struggles to find a safe home, as they will need an experienced owner who has loads of patience and experience to rebuild that confidence in people. They are selective as well, and will take time to trust strangers, but once you're in that circle, you are now theirs and that means they will do anything for you. They can be hard to motivate, as they are meant to be somewhat independent to work better in their role. That DOES NOT MEAN you can’t make a rottie do silly tricks, though. You just gotta make them think it’s worth their while, or have their buy in so hard that they will give you the moon if you ask for it.
Now, why is Wars a rottie? Because just like them, he (in my headcanon) was in the war too young, leading to some mistakes due to his immaturity making him not think as clearly as he should. Just like rotties, he has a bit of an independent streak and his biggest mistake in game was the scene after drawing the Master Sword. Guy was like “hold my beer” and everyone else was like “But you don’t even have a beer what are you—” and almost got himself killed (or captured in my headcanon). But he grew up and learned from it.
Rotties do eventually grow up, after all, and if you have their loyalty and they’re matured, you get a fucking amazing dog that will die for you. Wars has a high drive to move forward and is very protective of those he has deemed family. Most importantly, just like rotties (again, well bred, stereotypes of the proper temperament), he takes a LONG time of "fucking around" before he will make you "find out", but when he does, it's EXPLOSIVE AND DANGEROUS. Guardian breeds don't want to go straight to an attack, they can't or they leave their designated people in danger by a). going away from them and b). risking injury. But if you provoke them long enough, you will regret it and they have the bite power to make you never forget that you crossed a line. Combine that with amazing muscle in an oddly short dog that makes them weigh in at usually 100 + lbs, higher tolerance for pain, and extreme loyalty as well as a tendency to judge and mistrust first, you get Warriors.
Small working breed, with terrier characteristics. Personally? I think he leans towards a pre-dachshund. Why a dachshund? Well, if you go into the history of the breed, these fuckers are INTENSE. There's a reason they are high on the bite list of breeds. Now we are talking proto dachshund, which were the ones famous for the badger hunting before the breed became more streamlined, though there are arguments they actually originally WERE bred for badger/wolverine hunting, or if that happened later. Regardless, they STEM from it that original dog that was meant to do so, or they eventually were bred into that role, which is the version we’re speaking of now. Now, this breed (and terrier types) are meant to strike faster. When we breed dog traits, we mess around with the predatory chain: spot, stalk, chase, grab, bite, kill, eat/destroy. So with terrier types, think ratting dogs like jack russels, (or a dog meant to go into a small place and attack a wolverine/badger!) we gotta get rid of stalk. No one is stalking a badger in its home, and if you try to stalk a rat (as a dog) it's gonna get away. You see the target? You RUN THAT FUCKER DOWN AND KILL. So their chain is spot CHASEGRABBITEKILL and yes, I did put those together for a reason. At your own risk, google a jack russel doing its job in a barn. It’s bloody, it’s nasty, it’s beautiful in its efficiency. Those dogs go and kill drop kill drop kill drop until there’s nothing left.
Why did I put Legend here? He's the veteran. He's had too many adventures to hesitate when shit hits the fan. He's also got purse dog complex, (not the real name, I forget the actual term if there even is one, it’s a me term), shorthand for a behavior issue I run into all the time wherein the dog owner doesn't allow their small dog to be a dog. They are often treated as accessories, picked up when they get a little too "spicy" aka jump jump bark bark bite bite. It makes them have a lot of complex emotions and an inability to fully regulate said emotions because YOU NEVER LET THEM LEARN.
This is often compounded by another fake name small dog issue which I call "just a little guy" syndrome (I swear I'm a professional lmao) which is that, when you are SMALL, and you tell someone NO, they don't often hear the first polite "hey, can you please not do that?" What do I mean? A small dog, say my bichon, he doesn't wanna be stepped on, right? Because small. I have two other dogs, one I call a dingo (she looks like a fucking dingo I swear!) and one who is a lab/pit mix (mostly lab in temperament). A well socialized dog with solid temperament (my dingo girl) will see the initial "hey don't do that" polite way of asking a dog to slow the fuck down back up give me space etc, often a subtle lip lift, a light rising of the fur along the back of the neck, a slight stiffening in the tail and ears. Tiny little movements that can come and go in a "blink and you miss it" moment. They will see it, realize that dog is saying "hey give me space" and back up. My bichon and my dingo NEVER get loud, because she reads him like a book and is NOT a clumsy drunk bull in a china shop, but actually quite graceful at avoiding stepping on little guys.
A poorly socialized dog (my street rat trash panda lab/pittie whom I love but did NOT own as a puppy and unlike my dingo, did NOT get adopted before her initial adolescence hit, but that’s why I took her and I love her, because I love all my problem children, that’s why I adopt them!) will ignore subtle signals and continue to push, which can lead to conflict.
But a common issue in little guys is that they are LITTLE. So unless the bigger dog is exceptionally good at impulse control or at reading little guys, they will often not notice the subtle signs, which, over time, builds in the "little guy" problem I mentioned, wherein the little guy will no longer politely say "Hey, can you back off please" but will instead go straight to "HEY BACK OFF" in a louder, more "aggressive" (it appears aggressive, it is NOT aggression) air snap, bark growl, like BIG signals for little guys. This either results in getting the space they asked for (which is my bichon with my lab/pit bc I managed it early on and she realized she’s a big doofus with no grace and needs him to talk just a bit louder and she will respect, she’s a head full of nothing but love lol), as the big dog sometimes literally doesn't really notice the size difference and WILL body a little guy, OR it causes a conflict because essentially big dog was (in its mind) just walking, accidentally steps on little guy and little guy tells him to BACK THE FUCK OFF in a really rude voice, meaning it might escalate into a dangerous situation, leaving the little guy now facing the consequences of his actions (one of my jobs is to help people bring peace in multi sized dog households with conflict, regardless of the extent/severity of said conflict)
What is Legend if not a quick to attack when in danger, emotionally stunted due to being thrown into adventure after adventure with no real breathing room at too young an age, quick to snap back when needing space, sometimes going too far when pushed into a corner (stepped on), highly driven little guy who is often underestimated by those around him?
Hyrule (Rulie): Arabian greyhound
Rulie is an older version of a sighthound (Most will think racing greyhounds, whippets, salukis) but I'm not talking about those. I’m talking OLD versions. Similar to dachshunds, there are breeds of sighthounds, some of which are extinct btw, that are quite a bit different than our fun greyhounds of today. One in particular I like for Rulie is the Arabian greyhound. These are NOT fragile dogs. They have endurance for days, do well on less water (or rather, better than other dogs please give your dogs ample water), and are much tougher and thicker than your western greyhound types, so if you're assuming sight hound equals fragile, you'll be proven wrong with these guys.
Well socialized ones are very loving to their family, but aloof and reserved with strangers. Just like rotties, you gotta get their buy in or they aren't having it. Unlike rotties, they are less forgiving for you coming on too strong, taking longer to regain that trust. I'm a fear free/force free trainer, but even a "balanced" trainer should know, harsher training methods with any sighthound is a NO NO. They do NOT respond well to loud corrections, even just verbal ones, and WILL shut down on you, once again requiring a lot of time and patience to regain that trust.
They are hunters and unlike our western greyhounds, who do well in apartments with proper training and enrichment, they are watch dogs. They were also once guard dogs, at least to those they cared for/were assigned to. They do not do well in small areas, as they are made to roam, unlike our western racing greyhounds who are happy with a shorter walk, some indoor enrichment, couch cuddles, and an occasional “put me in a field and watch me hit 40 miles an hour in less than 2 seconds” (I should know, I owned a retired racer, rip my greyhound, you had a long, well lived life). Honestly, love racetrack hounds for beginner dog owners, or people who want a dog that is actually a lazy indoor cat in disguise (they really are 40mph couch potato goofy guys). That ain’t Rulie, though. Rulie is old school (ha! I didn’t even mean to make that joke!)
Rulie is nomadic and a survivor. He's small, but stronger than he appears. Don't let those doe eyes fool you, just as you shouldn't let the stereotypes of sighthounds fool you when looking at those older hound breeds like the Arabian. He loves his people, but don't come in hot, or you will lose your buy in. Rulie is not ready to immediately be your friend, nor does he appreciate you pushing that onto him, but if you respect him first, give him time to information gather and have his space, he will love you to the end of the world. He loves his people, but do not yell at him, he will struggle to handle it. On the flip side of that, do not yell at HIS people, or you will suddenly find that dog does indeed bite.
Fast, adaptable, and loyal, as well as very affection and caring for his family, but somewhat aloof/distrusting of strangers, coming off reserved if you don't know how to read him, our little Rulie is an old school sighthound (Arabian is my favorite for it though.)
Hear me out! I know it’s not a water breed! Let’s talk keeshonds. Playful guys, agile, quick reflexes and jumps for days. They are smart, love people and are eager to please. And, if I haven’t convinced you yet, hear me out, they are little shits.
What do I mean? I mean they are little guys who have too much brain, too much curiosity, and too much energy that if you don’t give them a job, they’re gonna find a job, and you probably won’t like what they decide to do.
They are velcro dogs. If you are family to them, you’d better close the door to the bathroom or they’re sticking their nose in, offering to “help” and “asking” you what’s going on that you felt the need to leave them out of the fun (of literally shitting, btw, they just NEED to know why they aren’t IN there with YOU).
Hold on, I’m not done. They are very empathetic and great therapy dogs. They are sensitive to emotions and get very clingy if they sense you are having a hard time. If you are their “person”, they will wait for you even if there are others there to play with, because you absolutely must need them, right?
I got more for ya. They have a bark. Okay, I know, all dogs bark (not actually true, basenjis yodel, nova scotia tolling dogs scream, look it up lmao). If they see something, they will say something. And you’re thinking, ah, yes, a guard dog.
FUCK NO. They’ll let you know someone is here, but if you don’t act like that person is a problem, then guess what? NEW FRIEND SHAPE HAS BEEN ACQUIRED. And they LOVE to bark. They are yappers, and it can be a problem if not managed, ie do not put them outside and ignore them and expect silence. They will make their complaints KNOWN to the WHOLE neighborhood.
Do you get it? I know it’s not a waterbreed. I KNOW. But, other than clearly having one of the WORST coats for water, keeshonds are WIND! Also hear me out: Wind, in his game, doesn’t really...swim that well. He doesn’t dive. His endurance is shit.
He may be our little pirate, but he’s NOT a swimmer. So does he really need to be a water breed? In my humble opinion, no.
Wind is an intelligent little shit who will complain loudly when done dirty, will find a job if you don’t give him one, and who wants to know EVERYTHING his favorite people are doing all the time. Also, many strangers are friend shaped and how can he be blamed for that?
Wtf, right? Why not WOLFIE? Well, let me go over it and defend myself here. Now, Sky is NOT a giant by any means, so that’s not what we’re here for.
But, let me sell you on Sky as a wolfhound. They are intelligent, reserved, and often introverted. That does NOT translate to shy, mind you, but it means they’re quiet. They have STRONG family bonds and do not like to be separated from them, or they may become depressed or destructive.
The adage for wolf hounds is “gentle when stroked, fierce when provoked.” Who does that remind you of? Motherfucking Sky the Godkiller. Wolfhounds were bred as guardians, yes, but they’re not territorial. They are family-torial (Okay, that one was bad, moving on).
Strong loyalty, patience for days, devout to a fault, and all the love to give. How is that NOT Sky? Here me out again: unlike MANY guardian breeds, guess what? Fucking wolfhounds ALSO see people as FRIEND SHAPED. (Though being big some people are like oh hail no which, fair, I guess? Idk, I’m never scared of dogs, just cautious when I can tell they’re in a bad way). They’re sensitive giants, very aware of the emotions of those they love. But unlike the keeshonds, they can also tell when you’re a bad seed and they WILL side eye the FUCK out of you until you prove them right about your shady as fuck ways.
DO NOT FUCK WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. They are GIANTS. They are POWERFUL. If you decide you wanna fuck around and find out with THEIR FAMILY??? You will meet the God Killer.
Four was genuinely hard to pin down for me. On the whole, I lean towards border collie, specifically WORKING LINES. Yes, there is a difference. What’s the difference? Do you really want to get me on border collies, one of my all time favorite breeds I’ll likely never be able to own due to my far too in depth knowledge of them telling me I’ll never have time to do one justice?
Okay, shorthand. You have four main border collies: showline (bred mostly for aesthetics, still challenging dogs), agility/sports (all about that speed babyyyy), companion line (work+pet means training is easy, maintaining is hard), and my working line baby. These, by the way, are NOT actually different breeds, just different temperaments and some aesthetics (especially comparing working to show) will differ. Do not let someone lie to you and say they're different breeds. It's bred for PURPOSE and TEMPERAMENT, not a special "sporting border collie" breed.
Did I pick a breed that specifically has four categories because of Four? Not on purpose.
I could even argue for the colors individually to some (moderate) extent based on the lines, but on the whole, I lean working.
Okay, working line: highest of energy. That does NOT equate HYPER. That means they WORK WORK WORK and WANT TO WORK. They are INTENSE. They do farms for HOURS a day, covering fucking so much distance, singling out individual sheep and doing parkour off trees and sheep backs if it’s the most efficient method to get the job done. In our previous discussion of the predatory chain, borders are bred to spot, STALK, STALK, STALK, light chase, ideally NO grab, NO bite, NO kill *some dogs get bitey, dogs that go further than nips are generally not bred due to it being very bad for work.
What does that mean? Well first, hilariously, it was done to mimic wolves. Sheep are dumb, yo. I’ll defend livestock all day, but sheep are dumb. So they see “wolf” they do whatever “wolf” says, which is how the herding works. But it also means borders WATCH. They OBSERVE. They PLAN and COORDINATE with the farmer, the other dogs, and sometimes other guardian breeds!
OMG who’s good at COORDINATING and WATCHING and WAITING and PLANNING?
Motherfucking Four, our small boy with the drive of four other, also small boys.
On a lark, if I categorize the colors, I’d go with: Vio is working line, Red is companion line, Green is show line, and Blue is Sport/agility line. Why? Because Vio is the drive, Red is the “stop and smell the flowers” calm boy but still intelligent, Green is the most balanced and has the "traditional garb" of the hero, hence "showline", and Blue is intense as fuck but not necessarily in the most productive way, and of the four, most likely to show off.
Four is a border collie, working line. It’s also why he’s so hard for me to write. I LOVE borders, am border(ha!)line obsessed, but I also know so much about them that I KNOW I literally don’t have time for them and that’s how I feel about Four. He’s hard for me because he’s just so...border collie!
Yup, going with husky. Okay, now let’s get into it. First of all, howling. These pups be WILD. They are escape artists. I owned one as a kid and that dog made us have the most absurd fence system ever. Let me paint you a word picture:
6 foot chain link fence, concrete in the ground over 2 feet deep, chicken wire at an angle (to prevent CLIMBING THE GODDAMN FENCE), cutting of any trees within 5 feet of the fence because, guess what? Fucking tree climbing and yeets! Six goddamn handles on the gate because EVEN HUMANS FIND OPENING IT DIFFICULT GODDAMMIT. These guys will find a way and they will NOT return if they get out. They want to explore! They want to run!
They want to be wild! Do not try to contain these pups. They will become destructive and intense, and you WILL have behavior issues, and I WILL say “I told you so” if I knew in advance and shake my head at you in a ridiculously condescending manner.
They love their pack. They genuinely need their pack/people. They are filled with love and friendliness for these people, but also have some of the WORST impulse control I’ve seen in dogs. These boys see something and don’t even say “hold my beer,” they’ve already tossed the beer and are doing it before it hits the ground. They need activity (and no, just running isn’t enough though they do LOVE it) and they need help focusing. They’ve got endurance for DAYS.
These traits make them some of the most common dogs you’ll find in shelters. People see a beautiful dog and ignore its needs, dropping it off as soon as it gets to be “too much.” Honestly, low key hate them due to poor breeding and ignorant owners, not in that I hate the dogs (I did own some, yes, though as kid, so doesn’t really count) but they are too pretty for their own good. People have high expectations of a beautiful dog and are ABSOLUTELY not ready for their actually personality.
Now, who do we know in our group that has love to spare, loves his pack, poor impulse control, endurance for days, and is seen as someone he isn’t? Our boy Wild! People want him to be the knight he was, but he’s not that, he’s a beautiful teen with all the heart in the world, not the most common sense, a need to explore, and constantly misjudged due to who he looks like, rather than who he is.
Wild is a husky, through and through.
Okay, there’s some bias here. I had a maremma, Naga, one of my favorite dogs. Let me tell you her story and personality and you decide.
She was ditched in the shelter because she’d gotten a bad case of heartworms. She was two years old and 40 pounds when I met her (minimum weight on females is around 60, that's a THIRD of her weight too small and guess what? She actually ended up at 85 lbs so...) And I knew that, despite whatever “temperament test” they did on her, there was no way to know what was inside. You can’t temperament test a dog that is not healthy. You can’t train away pain.
So of course, I took her. Why not? Let’s gamble.
Soooo...she regained her health and turns out, severe separation anxiety. Good thing I don’t have to pay for a trainer (ha ha ha...separation anxiety suuuucks). Maremmas are LOYAL. Naga was VERY LOYAL. To a fault.
This dog needed to see me at ALL TIMES. You thought the keeshond was bad? Velcro dog? Naw, Naga was my super glue dog. She didn’t trust strangers. She didn’t trust FAMILY that wasn’t me, my spouse, and my baby (and she did NOT like people near the baby.)
Naga was a maremma with a history, trauma both medical, psychological and likely not well socialized. But once I started to work with her, I saw the diamond in the rough.
Despite clearly shitty owners (and likely a shitty breeder, as she wasn’t returned to one) that temperament? The maremma gentle guardian who loves their family more than life itself and will die defending them? Yeah, she was there.
Once she gained MY trust? She could trust those I deemed trustworthy. Was it two years, a lot of tears, so much work, and one of the hardest dogs I’ve ever owned?
Did I end up with a badass maremma who only went “full maremma” exactly three times, each of which was warranted?
By the time I had her rehabilitated, a toddler could walk her (remember that baby? Yeah, that’s the one), my inlaws (even my father in law, who she HATED because he was a MAN who wore HATS, lol please socialize your dogs please please) could pet sit her, no problems. Strangers (think repairmen) could enter the house and walk on by, no problems. She wasn’t gonna greet you, necessarily, other than to give you that “are you a danger?” look, but she wasn’t mean, either.
Once you were in her pack, though?
YOU WERE GOLD. THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN THE WORLD.
Who, among our boys, is a guardian, a man who WANTS to love the world, wants to see the best in others, but has just enough trauma to be just a bit cautious, a bit nervous, when he sees a stranger? Who would do something ABSOLUTELY STUPID to defend another (okay, fair, that’s all of them, moving on) and would go full attack dog if one of his was in danger? Who has the kindest, gentlest disposition towards children (I did mention my kid was THREE when she could walk this dog, right?) and knows exactly how to soothe the smallest of puppies by making himself appear smaller and less threatening, but is often judged by his large size and intimidating nature?
Yeah, that’s Twilight. Twilight is my girl Naga. And he is awesome.
Here comes probably the most controversial, but here me out:
Time: Bichon Frise. No questions.
Look at that little shit up there. That's MY little shit, my little gremlin, my baby boi.
So I mentioned I have a bichon. It’s my kid’s dog. She wanted a small white dog and small dogs are notorious for being from shitty breeders in shelters, so I actually had to go out and buy a purebred for the first time ever. (Yes, I mentioned a maremma and a greyhound, yes I owned them at the same time and they were awesome, yes both were from a shelter, and no, I didn’t buy the huskies, nor is this a "buying from a breeder makes you a bad person" bc that's a whole other soap box of "stop judging responsible owners who need predictability and start judging shitty breeders". Okay, throwing the soap box out for another day). So I got this little guy.
Well socialized bichons are actually pretty fucking awesome little guys. (And if socialized properly, won't have the purse dog syndrome issues, though "just a little guy" and having to be loud can be a thing that happens with any small dog.)
But this is about Donut and Time.
Time? He doesn’t have little guy energy. Neither does my boy. This little guy is a little shit. He’s a gremlin disguised as a cutie fluffy puff butt and he WILL trick you with his adorable eyes and he KNOWS how to manipulate those who don’t realize his intelligence.
My little guy is SO SMART. He is one of the most driven dogs I’ve ever owned, hands down. He adapts to the situation as needed, he can figure out a food puzzle in less than three seconds flat (or he’ll fucking CHEAT and slide the fucking TRAY out from under the PANELS and call it “solved”). He will do any trick you ask of him and many you didn’t.
He is the boss of my dingo and my head full of nothing trash panda. Not in an alpha pack way, get the fuck out of here with your bad science. In the “trash panda seeks guidance and reassurance, so I will give it” and “dingo is more of a go with the flow vibey hippy girl so if I say let’s go this way she will” type of way. He’s the one to “boldly go where no dog has gone before”.
He needs to oversee EVERYTHING and has to put in his two cents. Am I using power tools to install a shelf?
Get the fuck out the way, Donut, this is literally a drill.
Donut, do you really need to see them for yourself?
Have I literally never seen whatever the fuck that is?
Why yes, go ahead Donut, go check that out I fucking guess.
He’s empathy incarnate. If you’re down? He’s in your lap, glued to you. Going to the bathroom? He’s gonna be there, and if he had hands, he’d hand you the toilet paper. Crying? Yep, he’s there, too, giving you doggy loves.
Did you open the dishwasher, intent on filling it with dirty dishes? He’s RIGHT THERE, watching, waiting for you to not look so he can steal a lick. Tell him to leave it? Sure, he’ll do that all day.
DON’T tell him to leave it?
Well, you should have told him to leave it, or he’s NOT gonna leave it.
He’s got the maturity of both an old man and a fucking ten year old child, and it SHOWS. He can focus for hours and he WILL demand bed time at 10pm. And yes, it’s ALWAYS 10 pm. I have no idea how he knows, but he KNOWS.
Maybe not all Bichons are like Donut.
But Time? He’s a Bichon like Donut. A gremlin, a companion, a leader, brave, courageous asshole who will find what he wants and get to it unless you lay out a specific set of rules and he can’t find the loophole.
But I love him all the same, because he’s MY gremlin.
Bonus pic of my dogs, donut, pancake, and tofu aka little shit, dingo dog, trash panda piggy
Don't let those serious faces fool you: they are all idiots, and when working together, they're dumber than any of them individually lol.
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