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I was looking for photos of one physical condition that happens to penises and came across this photoset.

level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might

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saintjasperira-deactivated20250

demonic possession wouldn’t even affect me, i would just assume it’s The Symptoms

lesvegas

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

lesvegas

literally how it feels

welpnotagain

somecunttookmyurl

one of my favourite things about my boyfriend is that he's 6'4 but convinced he is a normal sized person and this does not constitute "tall"

once, if not twice, a week the card game shop he plays digimon at upload a top-4 photo best described as "gandalf and the hobbits" and every time he is genuinely baffled as to why he looks like that

somecunttookmyurl

told him i made this post and he's still insistent that he isn't tall

bf: i'm not tall! i feel like everyone i see is around the same height as me. like people in the street

me: they aren't

bf: but i can see their faces! if i'm looking at their faces they must be the same height

me: you're looking down slightly babe

bf: why would i do that

me: because you're tall

somecunttookmyurl

incidentally the fact i am 5'5 also comes as a shock to him at least once a day and then he inevitably asks if i'm "normally that short"

somecunttookmyurl

if you lean in real close you can hear his singular brain cell bouncing around like a windows screensaver

roskapanda

Has your boyfriend got his eyesight checked? Bc when I don’t wear my glasses I’m nice and close to the ground but when I do it’s HOLY SHIT WHY AM I THIS TALL, I’M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS, HELP ME time and it’s genuinelly terrifying.

somecunttookmyurl

he wears glasses he's just dumb

somecunttookmyurl

update to this post from yesterday:

bf: apparently only 7% of people are over 6' tall me: yes........? bf: that isn't very many. am i tall? me: i cannot believe we are having this discussion again. yes. you are tall. you are still tall. you were tall yesterday. you will be tall tomorrow bf: oh my god i'm tall aren't i me: my love the netherlands is the tallest country in the world and even there average male height is 6' 0.5". you are tall by "kingdom of giants" standards, even. but we live on "shortarse island", so... bf: AM i tall though me: you are 6ft 4

somecunttookmyurl

he is he's very pretty

teacupsandtimelords

Can he make spinach puffs? Asking for irrelevant reasons....

somecunttookmyurl

having watched emperors new groove (it's my favourite) he does understand this reference but also he really loves cooking so you saying this has now prompted him to look up how to make spinach puffs

which is to say that yes, he is kronk

somecunttookmyurl

fun fact they're both the same person. same 6'4 boyfriend referred to himself as a short king because he thought it meant a man who really likes wearing shorts

cipheramnesia

Large dog energy

thethreemustyfears

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dilf-in-peril

I understand some of you are 19 but that is not an old man, he's 32.

shivanessadraws

He's 35....... i can't. 35.... a kiddo......

viralfrog

infectiouspiss

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

infectiouspiss

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

infectiouspiss

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

pengosolvent

Edit: the title for this comic is “Puzzle Rat” this one’s a few days late due to having a lot of doctors appointments sorry it’s just 9 pages, and about some rats… it’s more symbolic than anything really

(it’s completely unrelated to any of my songs that have to do with “puzzleboy”) Patreon: www.patreon.com/PengoSolvent

lackinggravitas

do you think he practices on the island because he was banished from playing sousaphone in the house

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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ooppo

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

ooppo

not that i care

ooppo

sandersstudies

Me: Okay improv class somebody give me an occupation. :)

Class: Dentist!

Me: okay, so in this scene you are going to be a dentist. :)

Child 1: WHY DID YOU STEAL MY TEETH!

Child 2, on the floor, sobbing: I’m so sorry! I sold them on the dark web. I’m in so much debt from medical college.

sandersstudies

I ask myself this every day.

sandersstudies

12 year olds REALLY like taxes, debt, and divorce as topics of distress in improvisation for some reason

scramratz

“If men could get pregnant, abortion would be free” men CAN get pregnant and they’re treated worse than women who can get pregnant

lyraisnotonfire

favorite thing about tumblr is having a fandom in law. no i haven't watched this show and i'm not planning to. but my moot is having fun!! look how much they love it!!! i'm supportive from the sidelines!

staticbluue

“People should pass a test before being allowed to have kids.” “Isn’t it scary how white people have this inborn capacity for evil?” “I’ll never pass because males and females have different skull shapes.” “Autistic people have a stronger sense of justice than anyone else.” “I don’t want AMABs in my space because they’re dangerous.” “You shouldn’t have access to hormones if you dress like THAT.” “Anyone who does something that awful isn’t human.” “Some people really shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”

This is eugenics. This is phrenology. THIS IS NAZI SHIT, YOU ARE A LEFTIST BUYING INTO NAZI SHIT. YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO NAZI SHIT.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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misscrazyfangirl321

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

misscrazyfangirl321

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

empress-runner

I love you Bamf but that was just dumb

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