Cheesy on Main

Cheesed up little baby just simply cheesed to meet you! This little kitty and their wonderful cheese now only $8.65!

[ID: a screenshot of a tweet. It reads: y'all are letting american individualism melt your fucking brains oh my god hearing a baby cry while you're getting coffee is not going to end your life. it's part of being outside. in public. where people are. babies are people btw. End ID.]

OMG a neighbour kid, perhaps 13, has a cat she walks on a leash, and she has apparently recently acquired a skateboard she is beginning to learn to ride. She just skated awkwardly past my window—I cannot overstress that she is clearly very very new at this, she's not good yet but she's learning—with her cat happily lying across the back of her shoulders. The cat was in her usual harness and the kid was holding the leash, but there was nothing keeping that cat from hopping down to the ground. No, kitty was just like, "This is what we're doing with our outside time today, human? Ok, I gotchu 😸" and omg I wish I had the skills to draw a picture of this and share it with you but I don't The kid was wearing a pink helmet that matched the cat's pink harness and leash! I cannot even!

stay vigilant. there are still people out there who will try to convince you that eating fruit is somehow bad for your body

no matter how normalised it gets I will die on the hill that it is rude to record strangers in public without their consent

ive noticed u made the common mistake of stoppijg petting me so i will whine and paw ur paw until u realize this mistake its ok its a common mistake here let me lay on u to makr it easier

i believe you (truthful)

#SCARY

singing house of the rising sun at the pub last night and when the song ended the musicians just kept playing while people ad-libbed more verses about various pubs they knew

(with ominous hurdy-gurdy accompaniment): "there is a pub in walthamstow, it's called the fox and mole, but we don't go there (long pause) any more. Because the manager is an arsehole."

Turning the cuck chair around backwards to show I'm not like your other, boring cuckolds