Boop beep

sorry for the delay in responding to your message. I was walking around the house with unclear intentions

It’s so hard being the worlds first living tragically died too young diva celebrity who is alive and isn’t famous

*this meeting could have been an email voice* this cgi could have been a puppet

I genuinely think Philomena Cunk interview questions are academically valuable in that 1. They force experts to consider ridiculous scenarios they never would have thought of having to deal with and 2. They test the ability of academics to explain their fields to laypeople and challenge the idea that “everybody knows xyz.” I think part of all higher level degree programs should involve having to get interviewed by Philomena Cunk

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

OH MY GOD I’M SAVING ALL  OF THESE RN

disgraced nascar driver pulling over after a devastating loss and shooting the car in the head like an injured horse

fuffy really has everything. they're the chosen two. shadow selves. narrative foils. strangers to friends to enemies to exes/reluctant allies (to the lovers they become in my head post-chosen). she tries to fuck all her boyfriends. she's jealous of her. she wants to be her. she wants to have her. she chains her to a wall. she pins her against that same wall. they exchange forehead kisses. they have homoerotic fight scenes. she handcuffs them together in the middle of one. they share dreams ("is this your mind or mine?"). they've swapped bodies. they're the only ones who could ever understand each other. they hated each other, but they never stopped loving each other. She even stabs her

if we are mutuals we will be reborn into the same cicada horde