the Boyd Holbrook characters union

Board Certified Donald Pierce Slut

Sometimes I answer asks! (Masterlist here! Part 2 of the masterlist here!)

I also write fic on Ao3!

Steve Murphy: It’s a balmy Saturday June morning when Javi shows up at the Murphy house rocking a see-through tie-dye shirt the color of the bi flag and grinning evilly. He is taking Steve to Pride and he will not accept no for an answer! Steve tries to squirm out of it by insisting he’s gotta do chores for Connie, but Javi just dials Connie right up and she laughs and tells him not to let Steve pussy out! She’s perfectly capable of mowing the lawn herself and changing the cat’s litter!

Steve doesn’t dress any differently from usual, but the dad jeans/tight red polo/mustache combo absolutely attracts some attention regardless. Everyone assumes he and Javi are a couple that’s cruising for a third, and after a sufficient amount of tequila shots, they do end up in a dingy bathroom, clumsily pawing at each other while a pair of cute twinks in their early 20’s suck them off. Afterwards, Steve drunkenly calls Connie to tearfully confess, and she just explodes with giggles because, duh, she figured this would happen when Javi took him to Pride!

Donald Pierce: He’s strong-armed into going by Val and Gabby! In my head, this is some sort of semi-erotic humiliation/punishment Val and Gabby are inflicting on Pierce after one-too-many homophobic comments. Pierce dresses extra butch to compensate, but the combat boots and leather jacket on top of his usual meticulous grooming and sassy affect don’t actually make him seem any straighter. He spends the first hour sulking as Gabby and Val delightedly yank him around, but he gradually loosens up as time passes and nothing bad happens. But he keeps one of them by his side at all times! He will not be alone in this throng of gayness!!

Cap Hatfield: Nancy’s running a small craft stand selling steampunk pronouns pins and chainmail biker bracelets, and Cap is all dolled up as her booth girl! He looks so pretty with his glittery lip gloss, rainbow eye shadow, and his hair braided up with purple, gray, and white ribbons! And Nancy promises that for an extra $5, you can kiss him right on the lips! No tongue! That’s extra!

Clement Mansell: Clement initially tries to entice Sweety into going with him, and when Sweety predictably shoots him down he goes with Sandy instead. The engage in their fair share of usual PDA, which ends up going slightly viral and generating ~discourse~ over bi girls bringing their straight boyfriends to Pride. Nevermind that Clement is the bi one and Sandy is straight! (Sandy: Ahem, I identify as heteroflexible, thankyouverymuch!)

Clement loves an excuse to dress up; he’s wearing an open rainbow button-down with no shirt underneath, and he’s been picking up all sorts of Pride-themed memorabilia as he goes – he’s draped with beaded necklaces and bracelets, and he’s even got a pair of rainbow sunglasses!

The Corinthian: Oh, the Corinthian never misses Pride. It’s such a deliciously prey-rich environment! He doesn’t really participating in the parade, though – instead he lurks in the nearby bars or slithers his way through nighttime block parties. He dresses in his beige-toned usual business casual attire, but slips some old-fashioned hankies into his back pocket. He’s feeling nostalgic!

Eli Klaber: Oh, Klaber would never go to “Pride-as-a-protest”, but a socially permissible Pride, absolutely! He’s part of one of the floats: he’s fantastically femme and he looks stunning!

Danny Maguire: Aw, he doesn’t go, but he can hear some of the celebrations from his apartment and it makes him a little wistful. He’d be into the excuse of being “forced” to go by a friend, but alas, he doesn’t have friends like that!

Ty Shaw: His town doesn’t have a Pride parade, but he makes a point to go down to the one in San Antonio every couple of years. He usually goes with Sancholo and his boyfriend, but he’s gone with Abby before too, and he’ll absolutely try to drag Ben into the next trip. He goes in his full cowboy swagger, and he gets so much play.

Steve Murphy

What they go as: Haha, well, he’s in a suit with a generic “FBI” badge affixed to it, and anytime he’s asked who he is he snappishly retorts, “Watch the X-Files, idiot.” Is he Mulder or Scully?? Nobody knows.

What it actually was: Steve has watched, like, two episodes of X-Files. There’s a reason he won’t say who he is, and that’s ’cause he doesn’t actually remember the characters’ names. Whoops! Look, he already has a suit, this was the easiest costume there was! His actual sexual awakening was that slightly-age-inappropriate book he read in 4th grade about the Spartans, that described the shocking tradition of Spartan girls shaving their heads and donning men’s tunics for their wedding nights! How perverse and barbaric! Steve rereads this book until the pages start to fall out. Steve can’t quite conceive of a gay marriage, so this is the closest he can get!

Donald Pierce

What they go as: Cinderella, which lets him simultaneously pretend to be straighter than he actually is, and also dress up all pretty and femme. He absolutely shaves his face for this one.

What it actually was: Aw, Pierce was a bit of a late bloomer in some ways – aside from the occasional butterflies he’d get reading Wolverine comics, he didn’t really start getting crushes/nascent sexual feelings when his peers did. His first sexual awakening hit him like a freight train, and it was totally unexpected. He was not expecting that book he plucked from his grandma’s box of dusty romance novels to be what it was! Pierce would read those bodice rippers under his covers with a flashlight, wide-eyed and dry-mouthed! He especially loved the scenes where the cruel love interest eventually realized what a good, sweet girl they had and desperately apologized for all their brutish misdeeds!

Cap Hatfield

What they go as: Raven from Teen Titans. Growing up he really did think she was cute, and it’s fun dressing all goth!

What it actually was: He doesn’t remember anything else about that Sailor Moon episode other than Sailor Moon being captured and tied up! Yeah, that one stuck around in his head for a while! There was a period where he would insist on playing “Sailor Moon” with Nancy and all they’d do would be taking turns chasing each other and tying each other up.

Clement Mansell

What they go as: Lola Bunny! How cheeky and adorable!

What it actually was: There was a period when Clement was around 9-10ish that Piper had a fairly regular client that was kinda-sorta her boyfriend. Some of Piper’s clients would act creepy or overly solicitous towards Clement, but never Hunter. He’d take care of Piper when she was fucked up from drugs or booze (and sometimes stop her if she started to fight with Clement), and he babysat Clement a decent amount when Piper couldn’t or wouldn’t look after him. Piper did not do her due diligence here. She so lucky Hunter wasn’t a creep! Hunter was pretty great with Clement – he’d help him with his homework, make him dinner or get him takeout, and he’d never let Clement put on the sort of R-rated VHS’ Piper let him. Not the best influence though, he taught Clement how to pick his first lock and took him out shooting a few times! Clement would pretend Hunter was his dad, but he actually started getting jealous whenever Hunter was with his mom. He wanted him all to himself! He developed such a precocious crush, which is… maybe the reason Hunter left.

The Corinthian

What they go as: He makes everyone at Rose’s party uncomfortable by showing up as a sexy dead body. Specifically a murder victim, of course.

What it actually was: Dream. And I sometimes like to think he has an especial fondness/fixation on the version of Dream he first knew, which was his Kai’ckul aspect. Corinthian sometimes misses him!

Eli Klaber

What they go as: Jeannie, from I Dream of Jeannie!

What it actually was: It actually was I Dream of Jeannie, but less so Jeannie herself and more the idea of being her. Still, most people are gonna assume he had a crush on the sexy and eager-to-please genie, and whatever, he’s fine letting them think that!

Danny Maguire

What they go as: Kim Possible, mostly because it’s an easy costume and has that femme tomboyishness Danny can really get into when given half an excuse.

What it actually was: Duchess from Aristocats. No, he’s also got no clue why. No, he’s not a furry. He would very, very much like to snuggle up with Duchess, though! Shut up, he’s done taking questions!

Ty Shaw

What they go as: Princess Peach.

What it actually was: Well, Princess Peach, but specifically because of how often she’d get kidnapped. Ty used to breathlessly imagine what it’d be like if he got to kidnap her!

Quinn McKenna

What they go as: Seven of Nine, which tracks for everyone at the party. Stands to reason Quinn would go for the sexy and ruthlessly logical cyborg!

You may!!!!!!

Steve Murphy: For some reason, I have this very specific mental image of Steve ordering a vanilla soft-serve with a chocolate shell. It’s so quintessentially American, and I bet it makes Steve so nostalgic for humid West Virginia evenings as a kid, getting victory ice-cream with his baseball team. He’s never managed to eat any kind of ice-cream without making a mess. Connie smartly brings baby wipes whenever they go out for soft-serve, and after an instance of Steve touching Javi with sticky fingers, Javi starts to, too. Steve thinks they’re making a big deal out of nothing. He licked his fingers clean, he’s good!

Donald Pierce: Oh, I always headcanon Pierce as having such a sweet tooth! In particular, I think he’s always partial to pastries and/or chocolate, so he gets obsessed with churros when Gabby introduces him to them. He likes them hot out of the oven and served with melted chocolate for dipping! He orders them at restaurants and Gabby is lucky if she gets more than one. The rest of the night Pierce complains about how full he is.

Cap Hatfield: Butterscotch candy! And that’s for historical and modern Cap! Modern Cap, in particular, will absolutely tear through granny’s bag of Werther’s Originals.

Clement Mansell: I think it’s got something to do with his Midwestern sensibilities, but I bet Clement really gets into a good pie. His favorite is custard pie, and he has opinions on how to prepare the crust.

The Corinthian: Sorbet! He feels very fancy eating it. And he’s been a fan of that type of dessert since, basically, his conception. In ancient Macedonia, there was a shaved ice variation he adored – snow mixed with milk and fruit and honey.

Eli Klaber: Frankly, he’s into anything that sounds a bit fancy, especially if it’s French. Crème brûlées are perfect!

Danny Maguire: You know, based on that scene where his dad’s recollecting about Danny getting presented with a fancy lobster and asking, unimpressed for chicken tenders instead, I bet he likes a classic, no frills dessert! Maybe a warm chocolate chip cookie!

Vic Owen: Brownies. Maybe they’re weed brownies, maybe they’re not. He’s not sure time! Anyway, he ate three of them.

Ty Shaw: S’mores! And specifically, Ty loves the ritual around it as much as the dessert itself. It’s a fun, active snack you make around a nighttime fire with friends and family!