Friend of Eggbug (18+)

a princess who only has her hands to entertain herself in the night and the knight who shares a bedroom wall with her and is being tested by god

She's doing shadow puppets and the knight can't see who's making them

Slime girls should always have fairies trapped in them

the new avengers concept art looks like doughboy's family tree

Official extremely ominous and horribly scary sign

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

if you set off a rube goldberg type death trap to kill someone, if it's a long enough machine, it ceases to become your fault if somebody dies at the end. that's how I've gotten away with it all these years, and why I'm still going to heaven.

doordash driver in cute lil dog ears came in earlier and i was like “omg i love your ears!!!!! so cute!!!” and she got flustered and was like “thank you i wish they were real…” and i love her so much i hope i can become her friend

no way you got the puppygirl doordasher high roll

Elf boobs

This isn't google