ur actually a bad person and a terrible human being for shaving ur legs, is that what u wanna hear

now that the world cup is out of the way can we focus on me instead

americans be like dude learning to drive isnt that bad but they dont know youre in ireland sharing a lane with a horse who is a bad person. And the horse and the instructor are friends and he keeps dapping the horse up through the window. And the horse called you a bitch under his breath so quiet the driving instructor is trying to convince you that you must have misheard him but you didnt. and theres a roundabout coming up and the horse didnt indicate

I can no longer remember the title of the book it’s from, but here’s a quote that has remained trapped in my head for the last 8 years: “Driving in Ireland is dangerous because the roads are full of old farmers who’ve led good lives and are fairly sure they’ll get into heaven.”

my dinner-centric world view

first in my bloodline to read this much gay fanfiction

Heated Rivalry is a closed door hockey romance in the sense that they fade to black on the hockey. The sex is explicit, but the hockey is implied.

missed opportunity from jacob to have a scene where shane is googling an am i gay quiz and it’s filmed the same way as bella googling vampires in twilight

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

literally no one knows how to be fans of musicians in a respectful, non-intrusive way anymore, except for my mutuals, who are trying to convince 82 year old bob dylan that he is nonbinary