The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes
And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles
🪼

oozey mess
Mike Driver
ojovivo
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Claire Keane

izzy's playlists!

gracie abrams
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
will byers stan first human second

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Sweet Seals For You, Always

shark vs the universe

#extradirty

Kiana Khansmith
Jules of Nature
seen from Bangladesh
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@bbbbbbaaaaaaabbbbbbbaaaa
The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes
And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

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oh no i will lose my !
1 in 5 people are probably plural
5 in 1 person is definitely plural
Top contender for my dumbest post ever
this reminds me of a computer system we had at my previous job, which allowed an optional "medical condition" to be recorded against each person in the database. if one was entered, you needed to specify whether that condition was stable, worsening, or improving.
however, the list of possible "conditions" was rather broad, and included pregnancy; i was never sure whether "worsening" or "improving" was the correct choice in that case.
A tiny insect clinging to the head of a horned viper
#ratatouille

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goodbye, worm.
one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"
the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.
Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).
When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".
When the boat is still being built, your say "it".
When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".
When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".
When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.
If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").
If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")
If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").
If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.
If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.
I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.
Hit "view post" and lost it
okay!!!!!! lets not say that again
BITCH????
This is one of the funniest reactions to a game I've ever seen
I'm so old i remember when people liked using Windows
That's because they stuck these bad boys to them
Oh wow, that IS better.

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I'm asexual which means I'm attracted to the exit.
Well...I mean...accurate?
I'm asexual which means I'm attracted to the floor as a young man
I'm aromantic which means I'm attracted to the sink in my stomach
I'm aroace which means I'm attracted to you as well and I don't know where to begin to get back into my head
I'm asexual which means that I'm attracted to the post office today so I can make it up to you in the morning
I'm asexual which means that I'm attracted to the narrative
[Id: Tweet from @/jayreid2001 that says, "Here's a fun game: Type 'I'm (sexuality) which means I'm attracted to' and let predictive text fill out the rest." End ID. ]
I'm asexual which means I'm attracted to anyone seeing my favorite fictional characters
I’m aroace witch means I’m attracted to the devil
w h a t
@subtletwilighteternity @weedleysnumberonefan @willow-wisp-fae @oooo-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
I'm bisexual which means I'm attracted to you
YO
Open tags
@anonmous-offical @sans-the-skeleconch-offical + open tags
im asexual which means im attracted to …
auto correct, i dont think i can put that there
it’s nothing illegal, it’s just weird as fuck
I’m lesbian which means I’m attracted to women
I mean well that’s the actual definition. basic ass autocorrect 😔
I’m myrsexual which means I’m attracted to elves
that’s better. not correct but better
@len-the-antagonist @the-lord-of-rats-offical @narinder-offical (be prepared for hetslop 😔) @unstable-bird @eefburped @life-wife-stealer-gen @lia-thetulip @a-literal-tornado @outofcharacter-offical @knivesinmypocket @samthelocalshadow + open tags
I’m aromantic (maybe?) which means I’m attracted to the fact that I have a crush on you.
What. The fuck.
I’m allosexual which means I’m attracted to the idea of a new world where the world is the first thing I thought of.
So . Nonsense.
I’m aroallo which means I’m attracted to you by your name is this was a good idea.
More nonsense. Great.
Open tags plus @unstable-bird @do-not-u-dare @len-the-antagonist
Im aroaceflux which means im attracted to a berry
i said aroaceflux not berrisexual, autofill /silly
I’m biromantic which means I’m attracted to you and you are not allowed to be in my school
???? 😭
I’m pansexual which means I’m attracted to women and men and women who have been attracted by men
…I mean,
Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.
I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.
*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about
*leans over and whispers back* Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst
consider the coconut
this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”
i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.
listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them
This post is a journey
1 Reblog = 1 Respect
I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.
Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!
Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous
Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.
I MEAN where’s the lie
Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.
World Heritage Post
A coconut and a platypus are now related. Because tumblr is science. Behold the word of tumblr.
Made this for this purpose only. Yes, this is a shitpost kids don’t write this in your tests you will fail.
As a chronic "good heavens" sayer, and as a casual rhyme enjoyer, it's been really hard not to pepper in the phrase "good heavens six sevens" into my vocabulary. It would be so much fun to say, but it would immediately alienate both young hip people and old antiquated people and really only be enjoyed by whimsically autistic transgender women, so yeah :/

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I’M RIGHT BEHIND YOU
Thank you Evil Wizard, it’s good to know someone has our backs
IN A SCARY WAY
Thank you Evil Wizard, finally someone to scare away the creeps!
I FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO WORK ON OUR COMMUNICATION
at the gym telling everyone the weights would be easier to lift if we all work together
the more people you have lifting an object the less amount of force each individual person will need to apply to it to lift it
i’m lost