Elf Dumpster

*sees your post, takes cigar out of mouth and rubs forehead* dont make me unfollow you, kid

i have a suggestion

THAR SHE BLOWS!! A LIFTED BLACK FORD F150 WITH TINTED WINDOWS. PASSENGER PRINCESS, GET THE HARPOONS!!!!!

sorry i can’t go out tonight i’m at home sitting down

sometimes i get really overwhelmed by love for blorbo and start saying things to myself like I need to gnaw his head off

i hate it when i can tell my perception of a character is diminishing in real time because of fandom wank. like nooooo i want to maintain an objective relationship with the text but everyone is so annoying about you nooooo

is that simple task bothering you queen

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner

it really is kinda crazy how none of your squad mates brings up that you actually factually really fucking died in me2, like not a single person you're trying the save the world with comes around like "hey you straight up died back there, how are you doing?"

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

”how do i get people interested in my ocs” TAG THEM. BY NAME. HAVE AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER TAG I CAN LOOK THROUGH. PLEADE. SOURCE TAG AND THEN INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER TAG. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE CLICKED THROUGH THREE DIFFERENT VARIATIONS OF “#OC” ON SOMEONES BLOG TO GET THE FULL EXTENT OF THEIR ORIGINAL CHARACTER ART I REALLY WANT TO SEE. TOO MANY. THREE HUNDRED POSTS HIDDEN BECAUSE I WAS GOING THROUGH THE “ORIGINAL CHARACTER” TAG AND NOT THE “OCS” TAG ON THEIR BLOG. YOU MUST DO THIS FOR ME.

"Boy dogs are more affectionate than girl dogs-" "girl dogs love you, boy dogs are IN love with you-" Wrong. The only thing my boy dog does better than a girl dog is piss on himself

There's a weird 3 star movie out there ready to change your life forever