I Like Chess

charging up my "minute beam" attack that will blast you with a beam for a minute straight and make it feel like a whole minute has passed

christian chess player who only promotes pawns into bishops

i understand that it's sexy to be sacrificed as a knight but maybe we could try for more than just a pawn?

i don't care if you hate me i'm too busy writing smut with much older men

being the comic relief chess piece is really hard, like yeah I have to do a little dance for the king and he giggles and then i slit a bishop's throat and then i gotta juggle i don't get paid enough for this

sorry i haven't been as active, turns out things can take up time which takes away from tumblr time

fuck "he would NOT fucking say that" i'm over in the corner shouting "he would NOT fucking play that chess opening"

people kept telling me they were jerking it to my nudes so i tried jerking to them too and i can see the appeal

do NOT bring your cursed amulet blessed with the power of the skeleton key to the zoo, he WILL release the cheetahs