I think some of how this point (which I very much agree with) manifests in fandom is that parenting is seen as both 1) a thing women can lose and 2) a detriment to women while being 1) a thing men can gain and 2) a positive to men.
For the first part, I think of fics about characters like Black Widow from Marvel, where maybe she had gotten pregnant while in the Red Room and lost the child, and/or she had been forcibly sterilized by the Red Room, but either way, she "no longer can be a mother" even though m/m couples will be shown as becoming parents in all sorts of ways that don't involve having a uterus. Alternatively, a woman will present her dark past as precluding her from ever raising a child--while a comparable past does no such thing to male characters. Alternatively, female characters will talk about motherhood as a detriment, something that would get in the way of their lifestyle. They're girlbossing too much to want to be a mother, and they're not interested in something that would "soften" them in the way that motherhood ostensibly would.
They may take care of a child, but ultimately they don't keep that child, because they're just not mother material.
For male characters, we will often see them becoming parents by surprise--they stumble on a baby, their mission/adventure/quest suddenly involves a kid they need to protect, their sibling or friend will die and they will have to take care of their child, and suddenly they're a parent out of nowhere. Rather than losing the ability to be a parent, they gain it, often without expecting to. This is almost universally shown as a positive for the male character--maybe it's tricky at first, but they connect with the kid, feel feelings they didn't expect to feel, and ultimately thrive at fathering, usually with a male character or two by their side.
Sometimes a female character chips in on that parenting, but it will often be more as the aunt-type relationship, one who can hang with the kid for a bit and then give them back to their true parent.
The female characters who already have kids tend to be more sidelined characters--the healers, the nurturers, baking a pie and being a homemaker and protecting their kids but not being The Interesting Women.
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