🧄🤠🧙‍♂️🎲

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

Hey Girl I mean All Pronouns

your dog looked at me funny so naturally I had to fell it with one wicked blow

Girlfriend won't stop point-and-clickmaxxing. Saying shit like "keys! I can use these!" And walking up to doors and announcing "it's locked." without touching the knob

i love explaining the etymology of the word "rickroll" because the story starts with "ok, so at one point 4chan applied a filter to everyone's posts that changed the word egg to duck"

Visited my semiotician grandparents and they offered me a Werther's Simulacrum

What the fuck does this site's backend look like

Loving the implication that this website could have a backend strange enough to make time travel real

I love/hate the fact that I genuinely think the most plausible explanation for how this happened is that trump secretly uses tumblr and did this on purpose. He decided to run for president purely so he could start a war in 2026 with Iran, because tumblr funnies. It is so depressing that the only other explanation is that this guy won 2 million lotteries at once.

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch