now say something true and beautiful :)

probably speaks to something unwell in the collective tumblr psyche that those absurdly bleak bad luck brian memes are the only survivors of, like, an entire genre of different advice animal image macros.

reblogging a funny low note count textpost on your dash made by your mutual's mutual kinda feels like walking up to two strangers on the street and laughing loudly at their joke

i have literally never fallen in battle. only tripped gracefully with tasteful panty shot

hold up why is the beatles’ music actually fire

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id be careful now gimmick blog

$2.48

"having sex with your friends is basically incest" is a take of all time

Reblog if you have incestuous desires about your friends

im so hungry i could eat a meal

am i allowed to text friends i have not spoken to in awhile or will they gather and beat me with sticks send post

Strongly and intentionally ignoring all the bullshit that happened in the middle, it's actually probably a very good thing my mom and dad aren't living retired life together, because my mom's version of retired life that she's currently happily living is waking up, having coffee near the lake, then reading and playing iPad games for 14 hours with the dog asleep nearby. And my dad's version of retired life is I get a text from him with a picture of 1,000,000 hot air balloons in the sky with a caption like "At the New Mexico Hot Air Balloon Festival 🙂" which is a thing that clearly sprung into existence just for this text

me after making horrible posts all day: who wants me 😏

being a horror fan will have you saying sentences such as “i liked it a lot, super gross and sad”

Also true crime

no thats a different and worse thing i am not associated with you