me: if only there was a fruit that looks like an apple but is actually a pear
the baffling papple:
occasionally subtle
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
One Nice Bug Per Day
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@axophyllic
me: if only there was a fruit that looks like an apple but is actually a pear
the baffling papple:

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Pipe sprung a leak in the bathroom the other day and the cat came and bothered me about it and I can't stop thinking about it. She doesn't know what a towel or a mop is but she knew there was an unauthorised fucking Wet and she trusted my ability to rectify the situation
wow millennials are glued to their i-phones and laptops so much they cant even be bothered robbing in person anymore!!! maybe these trust fund babies should stop phishing credit cards while sitting on their butts and go out there and put some elbow grease into their thievery!
I know exactly what happened. Because it happened to me.
I trained for years to be a con artist. I told my friends and family that I wanted to be a magician, but that was just a cover for why I was constantly practicing sleight of hand.Â
In junior high and high school, I would shop lift a bunch of candy on my way to school, sell it to kids at the morning break, and use that money to run a crooked poker game at lunch.
Finally, when I was 19 or 20, I felt I was ready, and I picked my first pocket. I was on the bus, bumped a guy as I passed down the aisle, got his wallet, super clean.
In the wallet was several hundred dollars. A huge first score, I had been hoping for a couple twenties. I sat there looking at the, like, 400 bucks, thinking.
That was my rent at the time. We were both on the bus. It was likely his rent too. Lord knows the only reason to carry that much cash on the bus is youâre on your way to pay a bill. We were both on the bus, you know? Thatâs not someone I was comfortable stealing from.
I tapped him on the shoulder and told him âhey i think you dropped thisâ and gave it back to him with all the money still in it. It was the first and last time I ever picked a pocket.
Picking a rich personâs pocket is a loosing game. They probably have credit cards and not cash, those credit cards probably have the best anti-theft measures their bank can provide, and you probably canât get close enough to those people to pick their pockets unless youâre already rich yourself.
The people whoâs pockets you can reliably pick are the people around you. The people who are also on the bus, who are in this same shitty situation with you.
As wealth inequality becomes more drastic picking pockets has very clearly become âstealing from other poor peopleâ and itâs not satisfying. I want to steal from Google and Apple and Fox and Facebook and General Mills and Hershey and Tesla. Not the person next to me.
saw someone say "an 11-year-old isn't even supposed to know what sex is and if you do something horrible must be happening to you and you need to get out of there" like can we be for real for a moment. have some people honest to god never heard 11-year-olds making sex jokes in their life
and let's be honest. if something bad was happening, good sex ed would help them recognize that. trying to shelter children from even knowing what sex is doesn't help or even work, it actually enables abuse. teach them about consent
Sex ed is essential to protecting kids from sexual abuse. It's what teaches them that it is something wrong, and that they need to tell someone. Whether it's happening to them, or to a friend, or to some random kid they're talking to on the internet, they can say, "Wait, I know about this, don't let them do this, tell somebody!"
Keeping kids completely in the dark about sex only serve to enable abusers. Don't buy into this purity culture bullshit.
Teaching children that any discussion of their body is shameful and should not happen is a sure fire way to empower an abuser to control them. Give children the language they need to protect themselves and tell trusted adults about their concerns. Give them a way to ask questions in a safe and welcoming environment.
Certified Sex Ed Post!
As an ace this is the only time "you just haven't met the right person yet" has made me laugh lmaoooo

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this is like 50% of tumblrâs user base summarized
Adding "you would be friends with Hitler if he liked vocaloid" to that same list as "y'all would fuck a fence if it was white"
my body, tearfully: when sleep???
me: my dude we just woke up!! Itâs time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity
my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????
me: okay, finally now is sleep
my body: no. wrong.
girl: babe come over
boy: I canât Iâm having a threesome with an older couple
girl: my parents arenât home
boy: I know

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Goddess of Depression by Victor Nazarenko
Wait that explains everything so so much
And since we don't face direct punishment for missing positive social cues like we do for negative ones, our coping skills and compensatory hypervigilance don't develop the same way. So we go through a world of never recognising positive signals, sometimes spotting negative signals, and knowing for sure there's more negative signals we're still missing, because those keep blowing up in our face.
Kind of fucked tbh.
What's the deal with dogheaded men? I was reading some early arthurian texts and those guys were always fighting dogheaded men, with absolutely no explanation given. Was it a common mythical monster? Was it a metaphor?
Dogmen were real. They had kingdoms and shit.
gonna start saying "this is setting men back 10 years" whenever some guy says some dumb shit
"this is really gonna hurt the male community"

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They had not been seen together in the museum galleries for quite a while. Monetâs âWomen with Umbrellasâ are once again side by side in the Impressionist gallery.
AND THEN THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER THE END!!!!
ok every time this post comes by i resist geeking out on it but NO LONGER so these women are probably the same woman and that woman is monetâs wife camille doncieux. he painted her a LOT. but fun fact: monet had this asshole friend named ernest hochede, and ernest racked up some debts, and like an asshole he basically just fled the country, leaving his wife alice and their six kiddos behind. monet immediately got alice and kids to move in with him, camille, and their two kids. at this point, monet, alice, and camille became my favorite probably historic poly threesome. they lived together, taking care of the kids. they were so poor that alice and camille took turns wearing the nice dress so they could go out with monet. when camille got uterine cancer and began dying, alice helped monet cope and took care of things while he painted camille over and over. when camille died, alice is the reason monet was able to survive. when ernest finally died, monet and alice married, and remained married until alice died. at that point, blanche, the oldest daughter, took care of monet until he died. anyway, the point is, the umbrella ladies are probably the same ladies, but as far as iâm concerned, there WAS a historically queer poly family in that household and they were wonderful.
this is a fucking joy
Saddest thing ever is reading an academic paper about a threatened or declining species where you can tell the author is really trying to come up with ways the animal could hypothetically be useful to humans in a desperate attempt to get someone to care. Nobody gives a shit about the animals that âdonât affectâ us and it seriously breaks my heart
âNo I canât come out tonight Iâm sobbing about this entomologistâs heartfelt plea for someone to care about an endangered mothâ
This is how I learn there's a moth whose tiny caterpillars live exclusively off the old shells of dead tortoises.
[Image description: text from a section titled On Being Endangered: An Afterthought that says:
Realizing that a species is imperiled has broad connotations, given that it tells us something about the plight of nature itself. It reminds us of the need to implement conservation measures and to protect the region of which the species is a part. But aside form the broader picture, species have intrinsic worth and are deserving of preservation. Surely an oddity such as C. vicinella cannot simply be allowed to vanish.
We should speak up on behalf of this little moth, not only because by so doing we would bolster conservation efforts now underway in Florida, [highlighting begins] but because we would be calling attention to the existence of a species that is so infinitely worth knowing. [end highlighting]
But is quaintness all that can be said on behalf of this moth? Does this insect not have hidden value beyond its overt appeal? Does not its silk and glue add, potentially, to its worth? Could these products not be unique in ways that could ultimately prove applicable?
End image description]
because we would be calling attention to the existence of a species that is so infinitely worth knowing
I was so inspired by this I made it into a piece of art for a final in one of my courses for storytelling in conservation