Life is tough. Get a helmet.

tik tok is having a bone stealing witch scandal. i repeat. tik tok is having a bone stealing witch scandal. but this time a man is collecting human spines

the nature of humanity is that every so often someone tries to brag about “””acquiring””” human remains on the internet again

it’s the circle of life

@normal-horoscopes

AY THERE IT IS

I’m supposed to be doing shr**ms tonight y’all got any advice

Don’t eat anything with oranges in it. It doesn’t end well. Something about chemicals it makes it stronger.

The witches have come to lay their claim.

a pair of mischievous goblins examine their new charge

Ebony and Tenebrous were aghast.  “Did you hear what those fairies gave her? Beauty, grace and willingness to please? Bast’s tits, that’s a terrible thing to do to a kitten.“ Ten got up on her hind legs. “Never trust a flying thing that gives you a mouthful of glitter when you catch it. Come on, Eb, let’s give her our gifts.” “Like half a shrew? I tried giving her that, her dam shouted at me.“ “Quite right too,“ said Ten wisely, “it’s got be at least four weeks before she can manage the skulls. That’ll be my gift then. May you always be able to manage skulls. Big ones, small ones, beaky ones, mousey ones, any sort of skull.“ Ebony copied her sister’s pose. “And may you always catch the flying things. Then you’ll never be hungry, and that’s much better than fairy wishes.” *** Thirty years later, Alba was everyone’s favourite keeper at the zoo. Not only could she cure her colleagues’ headaches just by telling their skulls to give over, but she was the only person they’d ever know who could work alone in the emu enclosure…

I hate that I fully understand this

JFJKDLJFLKSHGJLFAJSFH

Bless the internet

This? An utterly scorching take.

he was addressing the president btw and what should have been said to the nazis who marched in Charlottesville

Holy shit.

My parents continuously tell me that my generation’s humour makes no sense and I still refuse to ever explain it to them

turn on the sound!

Do you ever just go wow I have a lot of repressed anger

I keep going back to watch this video it just captures my sense of humour perfectly

Demön

When an NPC warns chaotic-aligned players to not do something

she is SO funny!! definitely recommend watching her special 

But Who Is She?

This is like one of those art house horror movies with symbolism I don’t understand except I understand what this is trying to convey perfectly holy crap

do you ever wonder why stephanie meyer had the cullens live in a small town to preserve their “anonymity?” has she ever been to a small town??? small town people got nothing to do all day, other than to gossip and think about those weird people that live in the forest. if anything, they’re getting the opposite of anonymity. you want real anonymity? live in a big city. you could live next to someone for 5 years and never even learn their name. they’re up all night? they’re beautiful, looks like they had some crazy good plastic surgery? you never see them go outside? somehow hella fuckin rich? yeah. That’s LA

New York has a guy wearing rainbow tie dye outfit from hat to toe riding down the road on a unicycle with a boom box on his shoulder, you think people will care about the weird sparkly rich people? 

this year has just kind of felt like that all star remix where “the years start coming and they don’t stop coming” loops on infinite repeat