Drink That Salsa

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

hey can you come over and surgically remove this heavy, aching rot from my heart? we can watch a movie afterwards

reblog and put in the tags what your childhood password that you just stuck with is!

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

I also reblog this guys dead wife.

It's so obvious that a lot of people on here are inexplicably convinced that bad books are a recent invention

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

if you go looking for doom and gloom all you will see is doom and gloom. if you go looking for reduced items at the grocery store you may find a littol treat

This is the closest thing to a smile I've ever seen this man do for media

Yeah so unfortunately, my friend was right. Muttering 'I'm gonna put on the greatest talent show this town has ever seen' darkly to myself is not only vastly funnier than saying I'm gonna kms, but is also somehow more concerning to anyone who might overhear it

I love that this post doesn't include the actual text of his tweet, just his impending presence. This is the visual equivalent of a scare chord.

kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the post from the same person they did

I mean, that’s censorship but okay.

ksvskwbidbwkdbskbsjw

"19th century child points out what a load of bullshit expectations for 19th century children were" is the most enduring type of 19th century children's book for a reason 

(forgetting the word “touchscreen”) my mom’s new car has an amazing digital surface