Okay, this is actually funny

it's actually sick you get tired of eating the same food over and over when some animals they just eat grass all day mind you. just another pointless challenge mechanic added in by big universe to get you to go to the grocery store

Was literally thinking about this when I gave the rabbits their breakfast, the same dry pellets they get twice a day every day, and they were so hyped for it, as they always are. Why can't I have that where are my pellets #mypellets

That's got to be the funniest graph ever published in a paper

Interesting note: It definitely uses whoever you're following now, not at that date. Even the 2020 one includes a lot of people I was absolutely not following yet in Feb 2020, which is actually kind of cool, I can see what they were reblogging from this fandom before I got into it.

Mercy! I’m too high for these shenanigans! 😂

My Very Punctual Wife Gets My Night Worm can also be used to remember the order of the planets in the solar system!

Mercury Venus Pearth Wars Goopiter Maturn Nuranus Weptune

She maturn on my pearth til I goopiter

getting increasingly confused trying to have sex with my point and click wife but she just keeps saying “you cant use that here”

i have the ancient sarcophagus and the cuckoo clock. what the fuck else do i need man

i dont think we're making it out of january this time guys i think we're here forever now

people saying its almost over are gonna be in for a real shock on january 32nd

pleased to report that in Tim Curry's memoir he is tight-lipped on every single love affair he's EVER had, except of course for the one with Miss Piggy during the filming of Muppet Treasure Island, which he rightfully insists was a quite passionate encounter