Time to revive my art account on here for my Critical Role stuff :')

Origami Around
One Nice Bug Per Day
trying on a metaphor
dirt enthusiast
Sade Olutola
taylor price

Kiana Khansmith
Jules of Nature

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if i look back, i am lost

izzy's playlists!
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
ojovivo
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
cherry valley forever
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Stranger Things

Discoholic 🪩
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@arelsee
Time to revive my art account on here for my Critical Role stuff :')

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titanic Wreckage perfec t size for put trillionaire in to n\ap! inside very Cool and Meme trillionaire look so sick put trillionaore in Titanic Wreckage. Put Trillionaore In Titanic Wreckage. no problems ever in titanicc wreckage because good Shape and Support for trillionaire ti visit in little snubmarine. Thetitanic Wreckage yes a place for a trillionaire put trillionaire in titanic wreckage can trust Mad Catz xbox controller for giveing good submarine control to trillionaire. friend titanic wreckage
it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning
@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.
this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun
I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry
ninety nine???? thats IT????????? buddy here in the 7th circle of h*ck, California, we get up to at LEAST 110 degrees every single gosh darned summer. the bugs seek revenge. the sun wreaks havoc on the mere mortals it surveys. every plant has turned brown in its thirst for water. the very air itself has been sucked dry of every drip of moisture it ever had.
ninety nine degrees. you weak fool.
well since you asked so politely, let’s talk about something very important vis a vis weather-hotness that you clearly ain’t ever heard of, called
humidity
oh alas, you say. oh papa, whatever shall i do, it is ever so hotte and drye in california. the very air hath been sucked of all its moisturey droplets and whatnot.* one hundredy and tennith desiccated degrees!
*(yo, drought is serious. i am pretty obviously not making fun of that.)
alright. let’s check it out. here’s a random california city, right about now:
thirty-two percent. and here’s a random mid-atlantic city located somewhere in the wet fleshy crease behind a demon’s knee*:
*(confession: i do not live in dc, but several years ago i spent three weeks steaming like a tinned ham in arlington in august. none of the pants i took with me could ever keep a crease again.)
huh! funny thing! “see, dc’s actually seven degrees COOLER,” you say, because you’ve obviously never gone outside and taken a deep lungful of wet sock trash air in your life. and now for added bliss, here’s what early wednesday morning’s gonna be like for these poor clowns:
that’s right! eighty-two percent humidity! the point at which showers no longer matter, because you’re all caught in God’s grease trap! just stressed human eels miserably slip slidin’ their way through a damp melty bathwater-flavored hellscape that feels like it’s actively sous viding their top layer of skin! a hundred thousand people packed into public transit breathing air that feels like deepthroating swamp thing! and you wanna talk to me about fuckin california!
[cue science voice]: human bodies cool through evaporation, a process by which the body sweats and sweet invisible angels towel us off, whisking away our unwanted moisture into the air and literally chilling us out. (it’s also why air conditioned air feels so fucking deliciously refreshing: it’s not just being cooled, it’s being conditioned, aka, dehumidified. it’s cool dry air.) but. if the air is already made out of fucking chowder and can’t absorb shit then guess what the fuck our bodies can’t do.
so is this weak fool gonna remain indoors and hydrated through this only medium-hot but fuckoff-humid season? you bet your dried out ass.
This is poetry.
I fucking laughed till I cried so hard I had to take my glasses off. Jesus Christ that’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen all week.
As someone who lives in a high desert and has had a few Ohioan summers inflicted on me-
I will GLADLY take 105 and the 5% or less humidity I had in Durango, wherein the outer layer of my entire epidermis dried and split like the scorched earth out in the parking lot, leaving me looking like I’d been assaulted by an SFX artist high on 5 hour energy-blasted Monster whilst napping but it was REEEEEEAAL and every movement caused me to split like a tectonic plate and Ooze some unmentionable substance, than EVER be subjected to humidity over 80% again.
Holy shit this is. Well. This is quite a perspective shift. It's easy to forget how slow global social progress is in this era of rapidly changing cultural niches.
39 out of 200ish countries recognize same sex marriage, and the number is slowly going up at a rate of roughly 2 per year.
That's 1% per year. The world is improving at a rate of 1% per year. That's the real speed of social progress. It's not nothing, but it is painfully slow for us here in a world made up of social media.

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when you realize strawberries aren’t berries but bananas are and you’ve been lied to your whole life. yet again
Raspberries aren’t either. But kiwi and pumpkin are. 😑
Why must y'all do this, let me live in ignorance
^ literally
Also, watermelon is not a fruit. Its actually a vegetable. It belongs in the cucumber and squash family
I am so tired
I have learned Too Much
Pumpkin isn’t a squash?
Okay I’m intruding bc I am a Botanist and I am Upset:
Bananas are berries: confirmed. Strawberries not actually berries: confirmed. They are aggregates of achenes on a fleshy receptacle. Raspberries aren’t berries: not entirely. Aggregates of drupes (single-seeded berries). Kiwis are berries: confirmed. Pumpkins are berries: false! They are pepos, diagnostic of their family, the Cucurbitaceae. Watermelon is not a fruit: SUPER FALSE. They contain seeds, they are fruit. They are also pepos and are related closely to pumpkins. Squashes, gourds, cucumbers, melons, pumpkins are all fruits, all pepos, all in the Cucurbitaceae.
I’m less upset now bye
plant geek tumblr has saved us all
prev is extremely correct. vegetable is a term made up by big farmer to get you eating more plant foods
(like. who wants to eat fungi and roots and tubers. that sounds gross. but that’s just mushrooms and carrots and potatoes)
Always really funny when you're sat up with the cat in your lap and you start making motions toward getting up, and the cat is Aware but is pretending Not to be Aware and also not making eye contact with you in the hopes that you will in fact NOT get up, bc the cat is comfortable
I'm so glad the process of domestication involves a lot of co-evolution of certain social signals bc. Its really fucking funny
Like i don't need my cat to be able to speak english. The fact that she is avoiding eye contact and feigning a lack of knowledge of my behaviours is way funnier
tl;dr: all "algorithmically" pushed stuff on a newsfeed is mostly ads. nothing that's really surprising form this vulture article, but it is dismal and makes me grateful for one website where you only see things from people you follow WITHOUT horrible short-form video content
What if every viral song, movie, meme, influencer, and celebrity drama in recent memory was the result of a stealth marketing campaign?
https://web.archive.org/web/20260515113210/https://www.vulture.com/article/social-media-feeds-chaotic-good-projects-clipping.html
Have a paywall free link to the source!
How would you describe a dragon to someone who has never seen a dragon?
"Horse but make it a lizard and give it bat wings and horns"
didnt know how to interpret "make it a lizard" so i wrote lizard and drew an arrow pointing to the horse so people know its a lizard. Also didn't know what bat horns were so I gave it a horned bat nose
"A body like a big cat but completely covered in scales, the head of a crocodile with the horns of an ibex, and the wings of a bat on its back"
On it boss o7, ive mashed all these animals together and threw scales all over it. This the dragon you saw?
"Take a lizard, extend the neck. Add a pair of bat wings to the back. Add horns and sharp teeth."
Seems like we're onto somethin' boss! Though idk how it'd be so fearsome bein such a small thing.
"Big-ass lizard with wings" "big lizard" "Giant lizard" "Big fucking lizard"
don't seem too special?
"Imagine a winged alligator that was 70 feet tall and aware of its existence"
i dont know if this is a dragon but it could definitely be some kind of god
"Dinosaur with wings and horns?"
Dunno which dino you were talkin about so i just picked a random one. Stegosauus :}
"Big snake with legs and horns that can breathe fire"
Ah. Hm.
"A dragon is like a tree, in that it's a made up category for a broadly similar type of mythological creature that has no relationship to other dragons, but you know a dragon when you see one the way you know a tree when you see one."
this is literally exactly like medieval bestiaries. a description which was game-of-telephoned out of an ancient account from somebody who might have seen the animal in question, being misinterpreted by an artist who has not seen it

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only real 90s kids remember
TOLKIEN WEEK (½) – day 5. favorite quotes
thursday..... and i bet you wish you were her
I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna b
cancel your mullvad subscription
tech news today is that Mullvad VPN has gone mask-off about being the major funding source for the Swedish Orebro party, who are racist nationalists. unfortunately all discussion of this is occurring on fucking Mastodon instances i can barely load
if you are a mullvad customer (as i am) and want to get out, here is guidance from this guy
If you don't want your Mullvad fees going to fund neo-Nazis - or @mozilla VPN fees, which is rebranded Mullvad - cancel and get a refund immediately that's whose "free speech" the official account is talking about here, and that's where your fees go to EDIT: Mullvad has a 14 day refund policy. But the message below is a direct call to ask for a refund if you don't want to give money to Nazis. If Mullvad refuse a refund, call your consumer protection agency. And reverse credit card charges on the basis of deceptive refund policy representations. It's not like you ever want to be a Mullvad customer again. archive copy of Mullvad statement: https://web.archive.org/web/2026062717

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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