IM NOT A BIG FAN OF THE GOVERNMENT

youve heard of missionary position. now get ready for MERCENARY position

i like how hydrogen bomb vs. coughing baby is used as a reaction to lopsided fights because i actually thought the joke was that the two were evenly matched. i thought coughing babies really could hold their own here

imagine being an animal without a tail i'd be livid

wait

literally my favorite thing is seeing a friend from a ways away and just pointing at them like I’m in mad max and I’m about to run them off the road

Brazilian New Yorker: Ayy I’m poopin’ and walkin’ here!

If he were really a "family guy" he wouldn't talk to his wife and children that way

I wasn’t gonna reblog, but this poor person’s eyes.  They scream of pain and desperation.