the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

i have a suggestion

goodposting example: hey guys, just fucked a bug

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

I looove when food is in a bowl. Frequently plates are being brought out and I'm thinking this could've been a bowl meal but nobody gets it

please wear sunscreen!!! I've seen "fuck the beauty industrial complex" posts about complicated skincare regimens and am 100% with them except sometimes they mention sunscreen and no. no. absolutely not. sunscreen is a wonderful supportive friend who wants to keep you safe, and you should let her do it. throw out all your other cosmetics and skincare products if you want, but keep your sunscreen. and if you're not wearing sunscreen, start wearing it!!!! this is not about terror of aging, this is not about every tiny imperfection our fucked-up culture has made you feel insecure about, this is about protecting yourself from skin cancer. wear the damn sunscreen.

i didn’t know perez hilton was a stage name that he purposefully modelled after paris hilton’s real name i thought she just organically had an evil gay wario or something

Hating trans men is transphobic even if you "hate all men". You wouldn't hate me if I wasnt trans, you wouldn't hate me if I was still a woman. My transition made you hate me. And that has a fucking name.

one thing about me is i’m gonna go lay down

I love environmental storytelling

Its fucking hieroglyphs with you people

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

Ozempic scares the shit out of me. You're telling me there's a drug that takes away both the craving side of hunger and targets the brain's rewards center for eating. You're telling me it takes the joy out of eating and it turns you into a skeleton. Why did we turn The Curse of the Black Pearl into a drug. What the fuck.