my beloved James Fitzjames calms me down

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

man we gotta get regular porn back on this website

(seriously unwell) don't you think he'd look nice in the garden of eden shamefully covering himself with leaves

*coughs blood* youre all just jealous of my wound. yuore trying to make me get rid of it because you wish you had a wound this cool

first base is wound tending second base is hand touching

guy who’s forgotten the term shipping voice. I want them to go on a grueling and deadly journey across a glacier together

you’re just jealous my blood is all over the floor and yours is stuck inside your body

My room is so fucking cold my pussy just broke off and shattered

I have seen another propagandist argue that a small budget would be an issue when dress shopping with JFJ, but I would ask my honourable friend to consider - what if you put it before him as a challenge? The best possible high-fashion dress on the smallest possible charity shop budget? I mean, walking back to Britain from China couldn't possibly be as hard as that, could it?

i can see jamie as one of those vintage thrift shop addicts who loves going from shop to shop hunting for rare designer finds. also jamie absolutely knows all about which shilouettes would sit best on you and which colour and shade goes best with your skin and hair and eyes etc etc im sure you know what i mean. tozer never stood a chance im sorry

the new viral trend is swimming in the river with an abdominal wound! take an #AbdominalWoundRiverSwim and post your results

last night while i was brushing my teeth i came to the conclusion that striving for glory is incompatible with coziness and i think i may have fixed my fear of mediocrity with this one simple trick

you are an arrangement of atoms that happens to be momentarily conscious. you may spend your second of wakefulness trying to get this assambly of matter remembered for a couple minutes longer in the grand scheme of the universe or you can use it to be cozy in bed. easy choice

do you think taylor swift is ever cozy? we all know what happened to the franklin expedition