I couldn't give a shit about death

Piracy is a “victimless crime”? Idk i was kinda hoping there would be a victim. I want the mouse dead

masturbate 5 times a day, smoke a cigarette whenever u feel like it, take a shot as soon as you wake up, walk 7.8 miles every day, have sex on holy ground, eat 4 figs every single day and sleep 15 hours.

This is not an exaggeration.  Your download speed would slow down to the point where Windows would make this kind of absurd estimate, and you’d sigh and leave the room for a while (because you couldn’t use the computer while it was doing this for fear it would crash and lose all your progress) and then you’d come back in 40 minutes and maybe it would now say 52 years or maybe it would say 3 minutes, who knew, not Windows.

let’s be real the pressure to use AI as an adult is exactly what they said the pressure the do drugs as a teenager would be like but the people that told us that caved immediately for the AI and definitely did not just say no

It's wednesday

everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

I love how safe everyone in the comments feels about being entirely dependant on a potentially psychopathic benefactor 😁

im nice…..

He’s literally nice

a meba 🦠 is almost like a really really small anermal but not quite

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

why are you as a man keeping your eyes fully open? to see more men?

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.

you gotta click that link