I couldn't give a shit about death

let’s be real the pressure to use AI as an adult is exactly what they said the pressure the do drugs as a teenager would be like but the people that told us that caved immediately for the AI and definitely did not just say no

It's wednesday

everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

I love how safe everyone in the comments feels about being entirely dependant on a potentially psychopathic benefactor 😁

im nice…..

He’s literally nice

a meba 🦠 is almost like a really really small anermal but not quite

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

why are you as a man keeping your eyes fully open? to see more men?

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.

you gotta click that link

you're not allowed to bring wireless devices into classified areas and a security guy noticed a square phone-ish shape in my pocket so he asked me to show him what it was and i had to show him my can of pocket herring :/

If a person's friends are racist and they don't care because it doesn't impact them or they try to reframe their buddy's racist behavior as something else, they are also racist, okay? 🫶

Also if your friends are saying racist, antisemitic and otherwise heinously weird things about people, you may want to consider just not being their friends instead of just sending anons to the people they're talking about. 🫰

Browsing horror on Tubi is also fun because once in awhile you come across a combination of words like "Psycho Santa 2" which forces you to recognize that whatever Psycho Santa is, it was worth making two of them. Also, every Amityville movie ever. You will never watch every Amityville.

Wait weren't Amityville Horror 1 and 2 serious?

Actually think that's pepperoni and olive pizza?

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner