they call me the gulper on account of my gulps

shoving a rolled up towel in ur pillow genuinely life changing for those of us out there with neck pain

the issue is that my ears are both bad at comprehending and oversensitive. so someone says something to me and i say What and then they repeat what they said to me very loudly and i say owwww owwwwwww

my only straight couple just got divorced in tomodachi life

the pianist killed one person for every time the fandom called roland a color fixer

meursault has a (semi) lackluster pool of ids that he makes up for with his absolutely goated pool of ego, yi sang has a lackluster pool of ego that he makes up for with his goated ids, and sinclair was found dead in a ditch seven years ago bleeding from every oriface

why are some pinky swords time cleaving blades that can cut through space and render all earthy ties asunder that can only be wielded by a gene selected superbaby and some of them are Sword That Can Shoot Flaming Bullets wielded by your estranged uncle

driving for three hours immediately after physical therapy has left me in a fun and groovy state called "pushing down the soap dispenser hurts"