"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

@isuggesteatingtherich

assigned baby at birth

all babies are bastards

The opening of RE4 is some of Leon Kennedy's best work imo. He starts off by heavily implying he was kidnapped and coerced into being a government dog. He then immediately clarifies that's what happened, in case you missed the ominous quotations marks in the previous line. He goes "Yeah the dehumanization and the physical abuse has been rough, but at least it helps me dissociate from the crippling PTSD". Then we smashcut to him in an uber, failing at smalltalk.

deciding one day that you want to build a life for yourself is so scary. like damn I really want to live… I’m new to this. where do I even begin

i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

im not always horny. but im always like 30 seconds of fantasizing away from being absurdely horny.

It's really quite bizarre how much work in trans healthcare bases itself on the idea that a patient who deliberately seeks out the Penis Removal Doctor and says "Yes, Penis Removal Doctor, I am certain that I would like to have my penis removed" might be lying to the Penis Removal Doctor, so that they can have their penis removed without actually wanting that.

Fun fact: The vast majority of people who have a penis are terrified of losing their penis. There is a whole cultural Thing about that, and deliberately going to the Penis Removal Doctor in the first place is a strong indicator of wanting to end up without a penis.

I don't know which of you needs to hear this but "narc" is not short for "narcissist" when someone calls you a "narc" for snitching they are calling you a "narcotics officer"

technically narc isnt even short for narcotics officer its just cant for Cop, I believe Roma in origin

I read years ago in a book that it was derived from nakk, Romani for nose, as in someone who always has their nose in other people's business

ITS DERIVED FROM "NARCO" AS IN "NARCOTICS" WHAT FUCKING BOOK

Etymology is always doing some shit like this

Convergent evolution.

Linguistic crab

Two entire linguistic traditions have merged to remind you not to be a fuckin narc