soft fluffy feathery dragon
true! her soft wingjob...
we're not kids anymore.
Misplaced Lens Cap

β
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todays bird
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@angrycrownoises
soft fluffy feathery dragon
true! her soft wingjob...

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soft fluffy feathery dragon
true! her soft wingjob...
Starting a collection
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980β²s.Β The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.Β Β
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.Β Β
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.Β Β
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, itβs pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.Β Β
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.Β Β
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.Β Β
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.Β Β
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.Β (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)Β Β
It worked!Β Β
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because itβs unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.Β Β
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.Β (This would not work with real eggs because he canβt sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.Β White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he canβt retire while Walnut is alive.Β (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)Β Β
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the βthis content has been removed for violating Tumblrβs Community Guidelinesβ notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.
Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe
"60-70,000 geese" is the new "i found 100,000 dollars"

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If it's legal but it's prohibitively expensive it might as well not be legal.
Similarly if the only punishment for doing something illegal is a fine, it might as well be legal but only for the rich.
very important to me when animals that are supposed to be herbivores suddenly aren't
*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer
Mustelidae family in a nutshell
in honour of wolvie returning to the big screen here's a fond childhood memory

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i did this on a 4 hour flight no references. im sure theyβre fine
Ice beam is low-key a sauceless "standard" move for its type
Earthquake? That is THE ground move. The ground quakes beneath you.
Surf? A giant wave of water that your pokemon can ride. A thunderous tide. Invokes the ocean.
Thunderbolt? Arcing flashes of electricity zap you.
Flamethrower? Fire breath, fire throwing, an arc of propelled flame is classic.
Ice beam? It's a beam. Of ice. Could've been a gust of frigid wind, or a frost incursion, or being entombed in a glacial slab, but noooooo it's a beam. Of ice.
yes but it goes foowaaaa ting ting ting ting ting ting and i really like that part
Fuck you're right post cancelled
I've spent so much time at work and asleep and drawing and running errands these last couple days that Ollie finally got fed up and started instigating Wrassle Time
He even kept trying every few hours after I said "no", and had no interest in any of his toys or games, so I asked if he wanted to go for a walk.
Yall. He let me put his harness on SO nice and gently and then spent two and a half solid hours on his leash, stalking bugs in the grass and rolling around and sprawling on he cool pavement. I could hear him purring the whole damn time ππππππππ
My poor sweet baby boy
Evidense
Source
Me: my god.. i did it.. i killed him..!
Angel on my shoulder: we're extremely fortunate. You shot him in the side of the head and you're wearing gloves. Place the gun in his hand and set the house ablaze. Officer Goger's tragic suicide will be the perfect cover story
Devil on my shoulder: Goger was always eating stuffing and spelt wheat and steel cut oats. Bet he'd taste reeeeal good on a spit with an apple in his mouth. Come on, i've seen the way you've looked at him..
My tulpa, a 6'9" DD smokeshow hottie PS1 graphics anthro leopard girl in a lab coat: you must put a baby in me Your Highness, quickly!

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your favorite mutuals barely tolerated mutual in law
erika kirk being handed the golden opportunity to be the face of conservatives for the rest of her life and then fumbling it instantly by being genuinely unlikable and off-putting will always be funny to me almost as funny as remembering that charlie kirk got shot in the neck and died