🌺 hopscotch 🐸

everyone knows about Human Pet Guy but i feel like only the real tumblr OGs remember Train Fucker Guy. the dude who would show up on literally every post even tangentially related to social justice issues being all internet tough guy like “unlike you sjws I’m not so easily triggered, there’s only two genders and white privilege isn’t real, lol u mad” and then you went on his blog and all his other posts were about him being very openly, proudly sexually attracted to trains. I dont remember his url because he would change it every two days but you always knew it was him, his icon was usually some ms paint anthropomorphic train girl with huge tits. everyone would immediately just be like “heyyy it’s Train Fucker” every time he popped up just like they do with Human Pet Guy

love wins

unmute

You only need to know one thing: meow.

WE WENT BOWLING AFTER DINNER FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND THERE WERE LIKE FORTY FURRIES THERE DOING, LIKE, SOMETHING OR ANOTHER I DON’T EVEN KNOW BUT THEY WERE BOWLING IN THEIR FURSUITS AND DOING VERY WELL ACTUALLY?????

This story keeps getting better and better

why do all ducks look so holdable

they're made to be held by water . and nature's most comfortable crevices. to be round means to be perfect for earth to cradle you

This makes me perceive my own shape in a more favorable light thank you

In the bathroom and cascada every time we touch just came on and the girl in the stall next to me was like oh my god this is my song and started peeing harder

sorry for putting you in a glass jar with a twig and a leaf i thought you would like it

I’m so impressed by how he filmed a fight scene with only himself

everyone talks about how tumblr should make an @everyone feature, but I have another proposal: an @anyone feature. this tags a few users at random and there’s no way of predicting who it will be. this will also solve nothing and make everything worse

you’ve got to be kidding me

what if you went to a little knick knack store and they had like. a little hole in the ground and there was a sign that was like “one of the deepest holes in the world??? drop a coin in… if you dare ;)” so you decide. okay so you get a penny and drop it in there and you never hear it hit a bottom and irts really dark in there. so you assume okay i guess it is kinda deep. and walk away. but the secret is that the hole isnt that deep… you didnt hear it hit a hard bottom because theres a guy in there at the bottom who catches the coins. with his mouth. he eats the coins. what would u do

right. i was just asking you if you wanted to play jackbox with us tonight. i dont know why you keep bringing up the guy in the hole that eats coins every time we talk

what if he ate dollars too .

the Dry Valleys in the Transantarctic Mountains are just like “fuck it, we don’t have to put anything here, it’s not part of the main map we’ll finish it later”.