I M P E R F E C T

Tag yourself. I an lawful disaster with a hint of lawful responsible.

every liquid except sea water and alcohol hydrates you. It’s not CHUG WATER OR DIE. in fact, gatorade and the like are designed to hydrate you efficiently.

yeah, this includes coffee and tea and soda. the diuretic is not enough to cancel out the liquid. juices and milk have solids in them, sure, but they’re also mostly liquid! it counts. 

your body can only absorb so much water at a time, so chugging 64 oz of water at noon and calling it good will do a wonderful job of flushing your kidneys, but not so much of hydrating your tissues. it’s more important that you’re getting consistent fluid throughout the day. 

there’s a lot of fancy ways to determine How Much Water (Liquid) I Should Drink but honestly? 8 oz (1 cup) every other hour on cool days and 8 oz every hour on hot days should be fine (assuming you sleep for a normal amount of time per day…. i’m assuming ur awake 16 hours a day.)

figure out how many oz each of ur favorite cups is. it’ll help your guesstimation. 

if ur urine is darker than light yellow, you’re dehydrated. 

ppl have been commenting abt sodium levels in soda and sugar levels in sports drinks and thats all well and good but what i’ve noticed is that people who internalize “well, ONLY WATER hydrates me” but who HATE WATER remain horrifically dehydrated cause they dont drink anything. 

so like. if ur a person who haaaaates tap water, this is absolutely me giving you permission to drink whatever fluid you can stomach. please take this as a direct excuse to drink nothing but gatorade if that’s what it takes to get enough fluid into ur body.

it’s not the healthiest for you, sure, but you’re a smart enough person to know that. please drink fluids anyways. 

because yeah, i can’t STAND plain water – it tastes like the inside of my mouth. it tastes like spit. imagine drinking a glass of ice cold spit. ugh. but add a squirt of this stuff to your glass of tapwater, and now it tastes like apple, cherry, lemonade, whatever.

i also got a bunch of these

and pre-prep them with flavored water, iced tea, iced coffee, whatever (or ask my helper to do it), and then when i’m thirsty but distracted and want to just grab some kind of liquid without thinking about finding a clean glass etc., i can just grab one of these.

‘stares into distance, takes a long drag off of what is, if you look closely, in fact a candy cigarette’

what if I told you…that saffron…is actually not that hard to grow at home for your own use. 

Oh look a place you can buy the bulbs. 

If you live in a climate colder than zone 6…as I do…plant them in containers and move the containers into a basement or garage during the winter. 

Seriously, here’s a saffron farm in the desert of Afghanistan, and the saffron is happy as shit there. 

Zone 6 means that the minimum expected temperature will not get below -10F. 

Here is a gardening zone map of the USA. 

I’m in zone 5, supposedly, right on the tip of Iowa’s nose where it bumps out into Illinois, but more realistically given our not-uncommon cold snaps here we’re about a zone 4. 

Second: I can’t speak to most of the US but if you’re on the CO front range and put Saffron in the ground, you’re going to have Saffron forever.  It’s literally coming up out of my parent’s lawn and has completely overrun a neighbor’s garden.  This is the opposite of a problem.

Third: Bees love it.  Honeybees, bumblebees, little bees and big bees.  Late-season butterflies and moths love it too.  support your local pollinators.

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

me: 

@scarcity-of-cats @annajanes

2 - This and rotten apples are some of the best sites ever

I’ve never seen pan’s labyrinth so I decided to watch it cause it’s on netflix and when it started I was like “huh this is only from 2006? weird, idk why I thought it was so much older… guess I just had that wrong in my head” 

but I’m watchin, I’m havin a good time, I’m seeing familiar shots from gifs and stuff, but as it’s going on I’m thinking 

“you know, this is a pretty serious movie”

“tonally, I don’t know how glam rock david bowie is going to fit into this”

(Why not? :3) I’ll start!

My first ever shiny Pokémon was a Diglett back in Pokémon LeafGreen, and I didn’t even know about shiny Pokémon at the time

(Not counting wormholes) My first shiny was an Eevee I SOS chained for! Her name is Tessa and she’s a sylveon now ^-^