greetings

someone on reddit explained 😭

This is really important for increasing the window of tolerance for people with BPD. This is a great thing to do for your borderline friends so we can start realizing that these are the underlying things people (our friends) generally mean, and we shouldn't make assumptions about you meaning secret bad things that you didn't say out loud because we're not mind readers. So this is great. But this is sort of step one in my mind.

So, after enough time, you can stop doing this.

Step two might look something like going back to not saying those things out loud, but maybe now your borderline friend is comfortable enough to straight up double check out loud. If you say, "I don't want to talk about it," now they might be able to say, "Is that because of me?"

In both of these steps, see how the important thing here is communication? That first step is SO important because it builds a foundation of trust for your borderline friends to see you don't hate them, and to build emotional resilience.

The eventual goal (at least, for me and for a lot of my borderline friends) might be for neither of you to have to say these things out loud. It takes a long time and a lot of work. But starting out by telling your friends straight up your intentions will make it so much easier comparatively for their own recovery. It'll help them over time increase the window of tolerance and get better interacting with everyone, not just you.

I might translate this article later today. This one was the most complete one, even in Italian news it's not talked about that much.

shower every day. if you can, shower twice a day. smoke particulate will stay on your skin and not only make you feel physically ill but make you feel irritable and awful. soap that shit off.

if you can, plastic-wrap your windows to seal out the bad shit. if you can't, put wet washcloths in the window gaps.

kn95s are your friend anytime you have to go outside, and seriously - *limit your time outside.*

if you have to be outside, pay attention to how you feel. breathing smoke like this can very quickly go from 'mild headache' to 'dry heaving into the gutter'.

if you can afford it, consider getting an air purifier for your home.