AmmyPie

Every episode of the Mandalorian further confirms that Yoda’s species is actually a race of ravenous nightmare gremlins and being a kind, empathetic, noble pacifist was 1000% a choice.

#some human criminal: “I don’t know about you ‘Master Jedi’ but some of us just have urges that we can’t fight!”#yoda: “know what I think everytime I see a child do you? hm? ‘food’. Yes. ‘Easy prey’. ‘Helpless and unprotected it is.’#’'Eat the child do I? No. Feel the urge to eat? Yes. Base instincts we all have…learn to master them we must.”

There’s absolutely nothing in the star wars canon to suggest yoda wasn’t eating children off screen

NEW OUTFIT NEW OUTFIT NEW OUTFIT

I like it. More mouse-energy than the Plague Doctor’s bird-energy. It’s like you’re being nursed by adorable woodland creatures— except they’re undead.

Hanging out with old people rules because after a while they trust you enough to confess to murder totally unprompted

Wait what.

Sometimes old ladies had to kick the ladder out from under their stepfathers when they were girls and that’s valid

My grandma murdered her first husband the first time he beat their daughter.

My college was next to an assisted living facility and one time we went over there to draw people’s portraits so we could get practice drawing older people. The lady I was drawing idly told me that she "dealt quite handily with her first husband” while making a stabbing gesture. Five minutes later she requested I make sure not to draw her double chin. I honored that request.

Someone's trying to follow me and my mom home, Jesus Christ this is terrifying

They may try to pin you in a lane on the highway. They won’t let you get ahead of them, they will try to prevent you from getting behind them. Fuck traffic laws. Gun it, throw on your brakes, honk your horn and do not stop. get away from them at all costs. Don’t go home, go to the police or go to a fire station. Explain what happened and have them look over ur car.

This happened to my mom in DC in the 70's. A strange man was watching her pump gas at the station and she noticed him driving behind her afterwards. She experimented to be sure he was following her. She made a random right and then left turn and he kept up. So, when she got to her homestreet she kept driving and desperately looked for a gas station where she was friendly with the guys there. A group a black guys she knew in passing worked there. Well, once she got there, she said she hopped out of the care in a panic and told them what was happening... So at least three of them went out front and yelled "HEY, MAN!" and the guy sped off. But it's not over yet. They told my mom to hang out for awhile because the man could still be lurking. Since one of them would be getting off soon and would follow to make sure (the knew his make and model and the plates). Sure enough... The man WAS waiting a little ways down the road at a grocery store to start following again... Dude honked a cut a fuss and again he sped off. My mom went to the police station afterwards (the gas station dud vouched for her and gave a description of the guy). So BOTH cars followed my mom home and the station sent a care out to watch her apartment that night. My mom never saw that guy that was following her again, but she is certain he was determined to do her harm at her apartment.

This has been happening a lot more recently in the Seattle/Tacoma area

If you can't get to one of these, get your ass to a liquor store. Thanks to robbery and drunk folks, people who work at liquor stores know exactly how to put the place on lockdown and the cops will get there damn fast if they're called.

It’s fucking scary that we even have to share this information around. Reblog to save a life.

This has way too many notes and is a sad commentary on society but continue to share this information. Spread it around!

i would legit listen to a whole album of ambient music made like this

And the album has to include the purring and “mow!” Sounds

I could listen to this for hours!

HER PLAYS!!!

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

Gotta try it

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

It’s called the Murder Strut.

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT

HE FUCKED KING SHARK?

IT GOT BETTER

DC FINALLY understands what the fans want.

am i being interrogated

Art by Hector aka shitty watercolor

the time is now

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog

How you gonna do us like that bruh???

ITS BACK