a collection of dismantled almosts

domeric bolton contestant for funniest character ever. imagine your father is The Most Evil Man Alive. then he has your bastard little brother who somehow is also The Most Evil Man Alive. the banner of your noble house is a flayed man because your family has done that as a hobby for centuries. your father and your brother love flaying people. you live in a place called THE DREADFORT. but you are just some guy. so while they torture people you ride horses. you play the harp. you learn history. and then you die murdered by The Most Evil Man Alive your bastard brother. what a life.

the odyssey pretty fun movie actually and is not deserving of half the discourse it’s inspired but it is insane to see a movie where every woman’s actions are motivated by fear of or in response to rape and yet the act is never committed, threatened, or even alluded to by any of the male characters except the occasional denial of their intentions to do so. the movie’s big reveal is that the violation of a young woman during the fall of troy is the core point of trauma for odysseus and the tipping point that has led to the downfall of their entire civilization; the entire plot hinges upon this moment. but the movie cannot explicitly present this violation as rape (what it is obviously standing in for, especially within the context of the myth of the trojan women) and instead “softens” it to murder. and why is this? what’s the purpose of not just saying what it is and what this part of the story is about? it’s so obvious to the audience, so intrinsic to the fabric of the legend, that at a point its absence overwhelms its presence. rape exists in nolan’s odyssey, it’s a fundamental part of the story and a textual lived reality for all of the women but it can never be made explicit that the men themselves -even the most heinous- are committing it. it’s truly bizarre. he can’t tell the story without rape but is too offended and overwhelmed by it to know how to sensitively keep it in.

Hazy nostalgic flashback montage but instead of a dead wife it’s a defunct kebab shop

imagine being one of daniel molloy’s daughters and finding out the deadbeat asshole you hate bagged the hottest guy you have ever seen in your life. and on top of that, the gorgeous man is rich, which means he’s not going after that old man’s book money. you can’t even make fun of your dickhead dad for being a fool falling for a sugar baby scheme. worst of all that gorgeous interesting rich guy seems to genuinely be deeply in love with your horrible dad and you have never seen your fuckass dad look happier. i would be so fucking mad. no amount of therapy would cure the bitterness in my heart. the old bastard doesn’t deserve all that, is just not fair, what the fuck man

Aeneas had to get to Latium because he needed to spawn his eggs in the tiber

Aeneas had to swim upstream to reach a lush riverbed divot in which he can release hundreds of proto-Roman eggs

I love living in 2026 because I go to Home Depot and buy a 5-gallon bucket for $4. I say I do not want an email receipt. They know my email anyway because I once ordered a mop online. They email me to ask how I like my 5-gallon bucket. I do not reply. They email me again. They would like my feedback. Reminder ‼️I have purchases to review. Did my 5 gallon bucket live up to my expectations? 3 minute survey!!

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

all this, but also, it is pleasant to work on hobbies in a pleasant place! How is it that we all bemoan the lack of third spaces and then put SO MUCH hate on people trying to do things in public?

Gwayne’s little speech was not a genuine offer btw, he was pretty clearly bullshitting Criston to try to talk him out of what they both know is a suicide mission. He’s freaking the fuck out and taking the information Criston gave him last episode (Criston’s father lost everything when the lord they served lost favor) to try to offer a solution (I am highborn and I will make sure you have a place, see? No need to kill us both). There was a stilted tone and a grimace when Gwayne said “A knight of your…stature would be….most welcome” and Criston caught it immediately because he’s lived in king’s landing for 20 years and besides the fact that he knows goddamn well when someone’s trying to talk him down because this isn’t even the first time a Hightower tried to talk him down from killing himself, what exactly did living get him then? What would it get him now, a few more months of life being a guard dog at the whims of a different jackass? To Ormund, who Gwayne has just told him is a miserable cunt? No, he’s delayed his death for long enough and he will not be choosing a clean death, and it can’t be an easy one — those are too easily avoidable. No one will be coming to take the blade from his throat this time, he will make sure of it.

bye I paused the episode and wrote this whole thing out only for Criston to just say that himself in the episode a couple of minutes later I coulda just let him finish

women love when there’s a woman