Can Someone Recall Me From Exile

[mixing my interests up badly] I heard that they put Caesar’s body on a colossal golden throne so He may continue to serve as the republic’s guiding light (reflected off his bald head)

[continues to be muddled] I heard that Cassius was pieced by a blade tainted by the Plague Father during the Parthian campaign and he came back changed

Perturabo has passed the lex oppia in the senate.

[getting delirious] huron blackheart is ransoming Publius clodius pulcher but no one wants him :(

the woman with castration anxiety: noo my symbolic phallus! My symbolic phallus, noooo!

The man with womb envy: noo my symbolic womb! My symbolic womb, noooo!

our roman republic is getting late

sex is a lot like the trials in the late roman republic

what they won't tell you is that fulvia actually knocked clodius up trust me. you must trust me.

tbh you've gotta give it to him for leading all that gang violence whilst with child

They all wanted a piece of that grain dole pussy

It is known that it was clodius who bore fulvia's children btw

of course i love seeing people pushing back on the stereotype of ancient rome as this noble and glorious marble white cradle of civilization but very often it just goes too far into this equally wrong way of thinking when people start to paint ancient rome as this uniquely evil culture that's not only uniquely evil by itself but also is like a progenitor of Everything Wrong with modern society. people literally think if it wasn't for ancient rome we would have no patriarchy or slavery or colonialism. which is like. Okay so you don't know anything about any ancient culture whatsoever

i get a $250 million production budget to adapt beowulf into a summer blockbuster and at the end beowulf is contemplating his reign as king in his old age and the passing of time and we hear some kids say something he doesn't quite understand and he says stoically "it's as if the English i speak is becoming old..."