God only knows what this is

A sick wizard castle with a nondescript van painted on the side. A gothy pin-up girl with the portrait of a random trucker tattooed on her thigh. A bathroom-themed beach vacation. A beautiful brightly coloured cupcake that tastes like soap.

Jesus with a portrait of my grandma on his wall. A scimitar-wielding fantasy protagonist reading about the adventures of sixth-grader Kelsey. A National Park with a framed print of somebody’s living room.

just so we’re clear if you’ve never actually seen a cybertruck in person and have only seen photos of them i cannot stress enough how much worse they look in real life. like i honestly don’t know how it’s possible. most things look basically the same in pictures and in real life. but as stupid and ugly as cybertrucks look in photos, every person i’ve spoken to who has seen one in real life agrees that they somehow look even worse in person. and i know you’re thinking to yourself “tah they already look so bad in photos, how can they possibly look even worse in person?” I DONT KNOW. the first time i saw one on the road i was on a phone call and i literally cut myself off in the middle of a sentence just to be like “oh my GOD.” just an incredibly, laughably, unbelievably bad vehicle. i’ve never experienced anything like it. they’re just so bad

you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools

to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.

I thought you meant we were descendents -of- stone tools

your father was a handaxe and your mother smelt of microliths

"He wouldn't say that" has a beautiful cousin, and her name is "That's Not What This Story is About".

happy fourth of july to the philippines ONLY

happy june 12 to you

can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.

shocking how much of writing is putting down a sentence and then thinking, "okay, but now a less shitty version of that"

hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?

IMPORTANT UPDATE: 7,532 species of frog in the world, ok?!

great news! 7,556 species of frog in the world, ok?!

hey don't cry, now there are 7,576 species of frog in the world, ok?!

excellent news! 7,591 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth

guess what! 7,624 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

hey don't cry, 7,645 species of frog on planet earth, ok? peace and love on planet autism

great news! 7,653 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

hey don't cry. 7,670 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

new year new frogs! 7,678 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

hey don't cry. 7,683 species of frog in the world, ok? ❤️

hey don't cry. 7,698 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth

hey don’t cry. 7,701 species of frog in the world, ok?

@markscherz how many of these do we get to thank you for again?

95 at present, more on the way :)

hey don't cry. 95 species of frog discovered by tumblr's own frog scientist dr. mark scherz, ok?

hey don't cry. 7,758 species of frog in the world, yippee!

hey don't cry. 7,806 species of frog in the world, ok?

hey don’t cry. 7,817 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet autism 💖

hey don't cry. 7,836 species of frog in the world, ok?

hey don't cry. 7,864 species of frog in the world, yay!

hey don't cry. 7,935 species of frog in the world, yippeeeeee

HEY DON'T CRY. 8,008 SPECIES OF FROG IN THE WORLD PER AMPHIBIAWEB AND THE 8,000TH FROG WAS DESCRIBED BY TUMBLR'S OWN FROG SCIENTIST DR. Scherz, ET AL., PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH ‼️‼️‼️

i think we should stop having "kink at pride" discourse and START having "kink at the 4th of july" discourse. for no reason other than that it would be very funny

eyes emoji was the perfect invention for nosy people. like 👀 whats going on over here 👀👀 i just wanna know #LetMeKnow 👀👀👀