my world

This is my first time posting, i’m scared. Still figuring out how tumblr works, so any tips are appreciated.

Lula: 18, somewhere in northern Italy.

| cheater Rafe X heartbroken reader

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You finally force yourself to open the front door of the house you share with Rafe. You haven't heard from him the whole day. The moment you step inside, something feels off. You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of the paranoid feeling, and toss your keys into the small bowl on the entryway table.

"Rafe?" you call out. You wait a couple of seconds, but there is no answer.

Maybe he already fell asleep. You told him your girls' night might end pretty late, but it’s barely 1 a.m. Walking into the kitchen in desperate need of a drink of cold water, you twist a bottle cap open and take a sip. Your eyes drift to the stairs. The bedroom door is slightly ajar, and a sliver of light is cutting through the darkness. What the hell? you think to yourself.

You slip off your heels, holding them in one hand, and quickly make your way upstairs, leaving the water forgotten on the counter. When you reach the landing, the same creeping dread you felt at the entrance crawls up your neck. You swallow it down.

Slowly, you push the door open the rest of the way. Rafe is sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, his head buried in his hands. You furrow your eyebrows, speaking softly. "Rafe, baby, you okay?"

He flinches as if you’ve just cursed his entire family. When he looks up, his eyes are bloodshot and swimming with tears. The heels drop from your hand, clattering to the floor as you immediately kneel beside him. Worry is etched into your face.

"Hey, what happened? Talk to me," you plead, your heart beating so fast and loud you think he might actually be able to hear it.

The words that come out of his mouth next feel like a bucket of ice water. "I slept with Rory."

For a moment, your ears start ringing, the sound so deafening it feels like you've been slapped across the face. Rory wasn't just anyone. She was your best friend, your ride-or-die, your platonic soulmate, your other half. You try to laugh, but it dies in your throat, coming out as a bitter scoff.

You stand up, backing away from him. "Is this a really twisted joke?" you ask. You already know the answer, but a desperate, small part of you begs to hear a yes.

That hope is instantly crushed when he stays silent, unable to even look at you. Your blood goes entirely cold. What the fuck. Your breath gets stuck in your throat, and you start blinking rapidly, wishing with everything you have that you had never come home tonight.

Suddenly, the pieces start clicking together. This is why Rory was acting so off tonight. This is why she couldn't even stand by your side for longer than a few minutes. You had thought nothing of it. Stupid.

He finally looks up at you, and he looks almost as broken as you feel. Almost.

Those ugly, insecure thoughts you never dared to whisper to anyone start flooding your mind. Were you too much, or were you not enough? Were you not pretty enough? Not edgy enough? Did you even deserve him, or was he always out of your league?

It’s like he can read your mind. He slowly stands up, testing the waters. When you don't move—too paralyzed by the thoughts suffocating you—he thinks he can get closer.

His voice snaps you out of your trance. "Baby, Y/N, don't do that. It's not you, it's me. I totally fucke—"

You flinch at his sudden proximity, cutting him off mid-sentence. "Don't. Don't you dare call me that. And don't you fucking dare tell me 'it's not you, it's me.' Just own it!" you snap, pointing a trembling finger at him. You look at him like you don't recognize the man standing in front of you. And frankly, you don't.

It feels like you've stabbed him; he completely stops breathing.

You are feeling too many things at once: betrayal, anger, sadness, grief. Then, just as quickly as it flared up, your anger dies out, replaced by a hollow, crushing sadness. Tears stream freely down your face.

"Why her, Rafe? Out of everyone... f-f-f-fuck. Was it something that I did?" you murmur. Your voice comes out broken and weak, and you hate how pathetic you sound.

He shakes his head, his own eyes filling with tears again. He steps closer. You step back until your spine hits the wall, and your knees give out. You let yourself slide down to the floor.

"Don't blame yourself, Y/N, please. It was so fucking stupid. I hate myself for it."

The fight has completely left your body. Your spark is gone. You are so profoundly hurt that you don't even realize Rafe has dropped to the floor with you. He pulls you against him, his chest against your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, just letting you cry it out.

He strokes your hair, whispering into the dark. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."

He keeps whispering it over and over and over. You don't even remember falling asleep in his arms, but eventually, exhaustion takes over. You drift off, your heart still heavy with the unbearable weight of his betrayal.