bachelor of puppets

'We need more toxic yuri' You guys couldn't even handle Steven Universe

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

[louder than everyone] MAN I THINK IT DEPENDS!

i love leaning into a bad feeling #mytwistingknife

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

that feeling when you're going through a security checkpoint and you remember that you forgot to leave the potentially limitless capacity for harm inside you at home 😂😂

wearing two cursed amulets to manipulate them into competing with each other for ownership of my soul and unintentionally improving my life in their attempts to seduce me

hiring two duplicitous advisors with opposing agendas to manipulate them into hatefucking each other in front of me while i fujo out about it

it's not a "love triangle" it's a business opportunity with benefits

joining the war on kids reading any book they want on the side of kids reading any book they want. simply you will be fine. it's even good to be confronted with things you don't understand and even find upsetting, uncomfortable and difficult. it's a surprise tool that will help you later.

And this is a perfect illustration of why it is important for kids to read or variety of things, and why abusers don’t want them to.

Hiding knowledge from kids will not benefit them but only render them helpless when faced with the unknown

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"