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@alchemytextbook

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So I went to the Josh Fight
a summary:
- Two Josh Swains were in attendance. OG Josh, hailing from Arizona
- And Nebraska's own Josh Swain, from Omaha.
(feat. An Audio Engineer doing THE MOST for that sound quality)
-All the local news stations were there
- The majority of attendees were from out of state
- The two Josh Swains battled for supremacy by Rock Paper Scissors duel.
- The victor? Josh Swain, from Arizona. A crushing defeat for Josh Swain, who despite having none of Josh Swain's newfound Twitter Clout, DID have the home team advantage, as well as a Great Look.
- Following the Josh Swain Duel and coronation of the One True Josh Swain, there was an All-Josh pool noodle battle royale
- A brief list of notable Josh Variants I saw in this battle:
Josh Swain (Prime)
Josh Swain (Secondary)
Medieval Josh (full chain mail armor)
Spider Josh (x2)
"Josh Wick" (had pool noodles mounted to two electric drills for spin-attack capabilities)
Furry Josh (A Josh in a fursuit)
Big Josh (A large man with the words "Big Josh" painted on his bare torso, and "Dad Bod" painted on his back. Armed with pool noodle wolverine claws)
Little Josh (A small boy of about 5 years old)
Luchador Josh
Roman Centurion Josh
The rules were simple. Enter the ring and fight honorably (no headshots, no hits below the belt.) If you are hit with a pool noodle, you are dead, having fallen in glorious battle. The last Josh standing would be the winner.
The battle lasted a little over sixty seconds in total. The final victor was....
LITTLE JOSH, THE SMALLEST COMBATANT.
The crowd was going wild. The chanting for Little Josh was deafening. Truly there could have been no better outcome.
pool noodle combat was then opened to the general public, for fun rather than glory.
As for Josh Prime, he seemed like a very cool dude! As of last reporting, he raised $6600 dollars for the Children's Hospital and a truckload of nonperishables for the local food bank alongside the other Josh Fight attendees! He offered masks to any maskless people he met, and did his best to keep things as safe and socially distanced as he could, despite the ungodly amount of people who showed up to this random fucking field outside of Lincoln, Nebraska.
(Also for the Nebraskans: Yes he tried a Runza, and yes he says he enjoyed it.)
So anyway. Shoutout to the one and only Josh Swain.
Smiley, the shark dragon
He just wants friends and is very loud
Crazy to think that this silly boy has hit 40k notes! Thank you all for loving smiley so much đŚđ
Christians hate when a gay man goes âfuck it, Iâll gladly go to Hell if you want me to so badâ because it takes the edge away from their tools of fear. If they canât scare you with threats of eternal damnation then one of their main weapons is taken away.
calling out @brightismarstonight because yes
âYouâre supposed to fear your father/parentsâ this isnât the first time Iâve seen someone say that someone told them this in the tags. Christianity as an institution is one of the biggest shelters for abusers out there and this shit right here is how they do it.
itâs too early for this
oks
me and the boys, felsĂrtam
tegnaprĂłl
Flags Mashup Bot is really out here trying to start World War III
UPDATES
My fav part is that it is genuinely just a bot. All it does is take two countries, puts the 2nd country's colours on the 1st country's flag and mixes their names together.
Literally the only other thing behind it is that the bot weights picking the second country based on how close they are to the first, and basic geography + history means that's also where you're going to get the most aggressive relations. This isn't some guy trolling by making things specifically to piss people off, it's some guy who likes flags going "wouldn't it be fun to mix flags together, let's write a bot for that" and accidentally creating a whole meme culture of "days since flag mashup bot last tried to start WW3 = 0" and the like.

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ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind.
black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.
bruce: howâd you get your scar?
zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.
bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: thatâs terrible. how do you feel about capes.
Zuko: Do you mind if I wear this blue demon mask?
Bruce: *sniff, tear in his eye* Not at all.
*Zuko fighting the Joker*
J: "wan na kno w h ow i go t thes e sc ar s"
Z: *rips off mask* i don't give a fuck
Iâm still stuck at the âbatman has adoption papers in his utility beltâ.
âQuick, itâs time to use the Bat-adoption papers!â
Bat-option papers
Okay, but youâre missing the best part of this.
Alfred and Iroh complimenting each other on tea while they discuss their overly dramatic children.
iroh: once, i told zuko that he needs to work on his inter turmoil. he screamed at me that he had no such inner turmoil, and then proceeded to go to a cliff during a thunderstorm to scream at God to strike him with lightning
alfred: master bruce and i have that interaction at least three times per week.
@absentlyabbieâ
I see your "Alfred and Iroh as tea bros" and raise you "Alfred and Iroh as tea rivals"
Consider
Iroh: you too must learn patience. Boiling the water ruins the delicate flavor of the white jade
Alfred: oh I'm dreadfully sorry - for some reason I expected this tea to have TEA in it
(later)
Alfred: *aggressively laying out full tea service with milk, lemon, sugar, and, just to drive his point in, jam*
Iroh: *dying inside*
excellent addition
hey bruce spent a lot of his bat-study abroad in the far east and has kind of a weeb weapon collection so proposal, what if Bruce appreciates Irohâs tea
while Zuko is enthusiastic about cream and sugar
further fueling their dad-figuresâ passive-aggressive rivalry?
You had me at Zuko vs. Joker, I was crying by the Eastern vs. Western tea service
Wait a minute. Batman and Zuko have the same arch-nemesis.
Mark Hamill
Saw the last comment and my brain would not rest until it happened
this post has everything
this was an enjoyable ride. i liked the scenery very much. smooth suspension, nice height, several fascinating loops. 10/10 would go again.
Dont care didnt ask plus the sleeves of your wizard robe are embarrassingly short
An angel
Wtf bats swim
Omfg
Hereâs another little-known bat fact:
Orphaned baby bats are often swaddled tightly like teeny burritos to mimic being cuddled by mom and help ease separation anxiety.
They also seem to find pacifiers soothing.
Iâm pretty sure Iâve posted on this before, but thereâs always someone who hasnât heard about this before. Plus, Iâll happily take any excuse I can to post cute baby animal pics (especially when theyâre wrapped like tiny furry burritos) :)
In highschool I wrote a story about a middle-generation of stellar travelers. Their parents were born on earth and left as children, and the middle generation will not live long enough to see their destination. They live their entire lives on the ship and I wrote about them trying to find their place in everything. They will never know blue skies and warm beaches and open fields with warm breezes. Theyâll never know birdsong or crickets or frogs. Theyâll never hear the rain on the roof of a dreary day. I never could find the right way to end the story. I wanted it to be a happy ending, but I didnât know how to do it.
I realize now that it was a book about me dealing with depression before I even knew it. Looking back at how blatant the projecting was, itâs obvious now. It wasnât then.
In the story, the middle-generation people are lost. Theyâre apathetic. Theyâre just a placeholder. The only job they have is to keep the ship running, have kids, and die. As the middle generation of people began becoming adults, suicide rates were skyrocketing. Crime and drug rates were jumping. This generation was completely apathetic because they felt that they had no use.
In the story, a small group of people in the middle-generation create the Weather Project. They turn the ship into a terrarium. They make magnificent gardens and take the DNA of animals they took with them and recreate them and they make this cold, metal spaceship that they have to live their entire lives on into a home. They take what little they have and they break it and rearrange it into something beautiful. They take this radical idea and turn the ship into a wonderful jungle of trees and birds and sunshine.
And I realize now how much it reflects my state of mind as I transitioned from a child into an adult while dealing with depression. You always hear âit gets betterâ and âwhen youâre older things will be easierâ and I was so sick of waiting for it to get better. I was in the middle-generation stage. And I was sick of it. I was so sick of waiting.
When I was in highschool I didnât know how to end the story. I didnât know how to have a happy ending. I didnât have the life experience then to finish the story in a meaningful way. I didnât know how to make it better for these middle-generation characters.
But now that Iâm older, Iâm learning. That if you sit and wait for things to get better, it never will. You have to take your life and break it apart and rearrange it into something beautiful. You have to make the cold metal ship into the garden that you deserve. You have to make your own meaning. You have to plant your own garden.
You have to teach yourself that being happy is not a radical idea.
God you guys I never thought this would become so popular đą I was gonna name it The Weather Project after the art installment that inspired it
By Olafur Eliasson
This is the most important post that Iâve ever made. Its for screaming out with every fiber of your being that youâre worth something. Youâre worth everything.

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anyone need serotonin?
he made it đĽş
If you ever feel like you aren't enough, just keep picking up your carrots â¤ď¸
thereâs a fucking furry at the mall!!!!
what the hell is an â"easter bunnyââ
My app crashed three times trying to reblog this, and I feel that was the universe trying to stop me from giving others whiplash.
i was with my motherâs family and they were talking to me about my religious studies major. my great aunt asked me what the definition of hell was, and i responded âwell i suppose it depends on who you ask.â and nearly all the protestants in the group decided that hell was âthe absence of godâ which i suppose is a fair answer, albeit not a universal one. my cousinâs wife was playing with her 3-year-old daughter and she says âwell mommy says that hell is a mcdonaldâs playplaceâ asdfghjhgfd
this 3-year-old girl is so fucking hilarious. her mothers have signed her up for a toddler yoga class, and so she has adopted a very unique language. this child also has an imaginary friend named âmomâ which is, in her mind, the boss of her two mothers. for example, my cousinâs wife explained to me how her daughter got mad at them one time. the little girl situated herself in the corner of her crib, pretended to type on a cell phone and said âim writing an email to mom right now and telling her how bad you two are. namaste.â
the familyâs Big Theory about âMomâ is that both my cousin and her wife are referred to as âMommyâ and âMama.â The nickname âMomâ is not used in the house because it would just be confusing. However, when interacting with the world, people tell their daughter that they will âtell her momâ if she is doing something wrong. so this child automatically assumes there is this greater âMomâ figure that is responsible for distributing universal justice.Â
To be fair to the toddler, thatâs pretty much how religions get started.
Our Mom, who art gonna hear about this,
I want to be very clear: I did not schedule this to post on Easter weekend.
I want to be very clear: I did schedule this to post on Easter weekend
Gymnastics has come a long compared to that old footage, but this difference is particularly significant for black girls! Because they have never taken seriously our abilities! Just because the color of our skin is not what they want to see!
Simone Bilesâs fantastic performance has been covered by many news outlets all these years! Now we can see the real difference!
#BlackGirlsMagic
Itâs like a metaphor of what millenials have to do to get jobs vs baby boomers lol
I was debating whether to reblog but that last comment did it for me

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CRAZY to think abt the overtly Jewish themes in early comics, I mean superman is Moses, diana is a Golem, and Batman just straight up a matrilineal jew. All written by Jewish writers. And people just IGNORE that.
when i was making this post, i was only focusing on dc, since it is in relation to these comics that i have seen and experienced the most antisemitism. but as this reaches a broader audience, yeah! lets talk about it all!
lets talk about how captain america, an irish immigrant who grew up poor and ill, channeled his experiences into empathy and understanding and positive action, was made by jewish men to dunk on hitler.
lets talk about how the first marvel and dc comics were mocked up in "yinglish," a mix of yiddish and english commonly spoken in jewish quarters. lets talk about how the format of the graphic novel as we know it was pioneered by an Auschwitz survivor
lets talk about how the first superman comics were clark picking up hitler and stalin, and dumping them at the united nations to be prosecuted for his treatment of defenceless and downtrodden people the world over
let's talk about why x-men resonated with so many people who fundamentally share an understanding of oppression by discriminatory systems, across time and cultures. written by the sons of jewish immigrants.
lets talk about how comics by their very nature were crafted to imbue empathy and understanding, and challenge the very foundation of unjust institutions. and lets talk about the fact that this is a jewish art form. blending the power of language with the impact of visual elements. made that way by jewish people who had something to say.
not to mention the fact that the reason jews built the comic book industry from the ground up was because american traditional publishing, marketing, and newspaper companies often had antisemitic quota policies and wouldn't hire jews.
so jewish people looked at a new, avante garde, fun, different kind of entertainment that had even been founded by a jew, and saw potential. jewish artists and writers positively flocked to the burgeoning comic book industry because they were quite literally blocked out of everywhere else.
so of course they wrote about fighting oppression, fighting those who willfully discriminate against others, fighting against hate and prejudice and ignorance. all of those things are what spurred on the comic book industry in the first place.
Jacob Geller talked about some of this in his latest video! (though he mostly focuses on the Golem aspect of things)
(also, if you want to see more of his work about Jewishness in popular media, I also highly recommend his video Judaism and Whiteness in Wolfenstein. Iâve never even played Wolfenstein, but this video is one of my favorites of his)