beep beep

The cashier at Whole Foods just treated me like the village idiot because he told me to “look for the three little lines” on the app and i was like “I’m not seeing a hamburger. I see meatballs. Is that it?” And he said “maam you are looking for Three Little Lines”

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

i do think we should normalise being like. platonically enamoured with someone. perhaps i love and admire you dearly and there's nothing romantic about it

if Mumford & Sons existed in Aramán I think 17-year-old Azune would have listened to Little Lion Man on repeat every night in his tent and cried. And I think Teor would eventually go up to him and say "you are not little lion man" and it would just make Azune cry harder because now he thinks he accidentally offended Teor. And Teor would panic and say "no no I meant you are not metaphorical little lion man, I didn't think you thought you were an actual lion man." Which, of course, would just make Azune even more upset because he feels guilty that he thought Teor would not understand the metaphor. And eventually he'd just be lying on the ground ugly sobbing while Teor is patting his back and saying "I wish to kill Mumford and all of his Sons"

In the vein of that comment about how Liam's characters would all be attracted to one another, for Luis's characters it's like. I think that Zerxus and Azune WOULD get along but it would be a MESS because immediately Azune would catch the vibes transmitted via Zerxus's inspiring leader feat and be like ah. someone who can give me Tasks and Jobs and someone who is worthy of my service. A chance to redeem myself for my failings and the others who have died to bring me here and also a daddy father figure to hold me to account. And meanwhile Zerxus would see this sad-eyed young man, who appears older than his years, and would instantly place him into his personal vortex of ginger-haired men in need of his protection and saving, somewhere between a proxy for his son and a proxy for his husband. If Zerxus ever confided the whole Asmodeus situation, Azune would NOT know what to say (he would make the autism creature face about it) but he would kind of get it. It would all be Complicated and Undefinable but Loving. Also ruinously codependent obviously. Paladin auras may not stack but something about these two's vibes definitely would. If they get within ten feet of each other a lethal emotional Event occurs. Do you understand my visions

I don’t have rizz I’m just nice and weird

cats are little small and they triangular ears