CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKERS

EVERYONE STOP TELLING ME HOW OLD YOU WERE IN 2008 I DONT WANNA HEAR THAT SHIT

SOME OF YOU SHOULD BE AT THE OPRHANGE

preschool. I meant preschool.

it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

What if everything gets better in 2016

Every few years someone reinvents the wacky idea of "what if countries were people?" and its always racist and people are always surprised by this for some reason

joke i like to make when a baby is crying in public is “we’ve all been there.” We literally have

i skink therefore i scram...!

i cant be the only one who giggles when i read the words "there was a pregnant pause" in a fic