The Old Astronomer

First tweet: “I saw a piece of fabric? on the floor of my room so I went to pick it up but it was actually the moonlight that entered through the window lmao”

what if there were two boys and their world was at war, and they were doomed from the very beginning. what if their story starts with them saying goodbye to each other as one of them is sent to be consumed by the war that is devouring the face of the planet.

what if the other chooses to be transformed into a weapon to find his way back to his friend, but he still can't save him and has to watch him die anyway. What if he tries to follow his friend into death but he can't die anymore.

What if he is forced to live in a future more remote than he could have imagined, wielded as a weapon and a symbol of tyranny.

Okay, now what if his friend couldn't die either. What if he was sent instead to a fate worse than death, the body he once embraced disassembled and rebuilt with unfeeling metal, the soul he once loved relentlessly scraped out and burned away until he was a hollow void, a suffering undead creature who didn't know his own name. What if his friend's tortured undead body came back to him. What if he got a second chance to tell his friend he loved him in the worst way possible.

What if there were two boys who became war machines. What if they were doomed from the very beginning and they were supposed to die, but instead they came back wrong. What if they found each other again transformed beyond all recovery and there was nothing left of their original selves. What if they were trapped in a remote and alien future with nothing to cling onto except each other.

Okay, now what if in this future, they'd gotten rid of sodomy laws and being openly homosexual was broadly socially acceptable, and they're both in super-strong new bodies that still remember the fear and repression in the marrow of their bones but also have ultra superpowered libidos that don't fucking quit. And there are words and terminology for these things and for desires and feelings but neither of them fucking know any of it.

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I know that everyone is crazy because of ep11 but one scene from it reminded me of sth I don’t think we talked enough about?

So what we learn in 2 episode is that Victor was already preparing his SP for this season before coming to Japan:

and that he couldn’t decide which music to use.

Victor says that he will prepare programs for Yuuri and Yuri, but it’s pretty obvious that he already have had them in mind - just seconds earlier when Yurio interrupts him he’s skating something very similar to Eros routine. 

So Victor prepared two programs on love for himself and couldn’t decide which one to use. 

Ok, so why I think it’s important?

Let’s start with Agape because I think this one is much closer to Victor’s skating style. I mean we don’t see much of his previous programs but Stay Close to Me looks much more like Agape then Eros and also I think it’s not a coincidence that in ep 11 Yakov sees Vitya in Yurio when he reaches his agape. 

After ep 10 we also know that Victor was never the playboy we thought him to be. He tried to seduce Yuuri but his love really is unconditional. I mean he goes to Japan just because Yuuri asked him and he never seriously thinks about leaving him no matter what happens. Yuuri doesn’t have to prove anything, Victor loves him anyway. “He meets me where I am”.

And it really is, not only in regards of Yuuri. Victor is caring, he’s respectful, he doesn’t expect people to give something back. But it also means that he’s lonely.

I think that this is who Victor was before he met Yuuri - kind of lonely skating god, working hard to surprise everyone - but he also doesn’t have to try very hard to like people, it’s just he’s nature. Final proof - when Yurio asks what agape is for him, Victor can’t explain it:

He just feels agape, he doesn’t imagine a story or a person. And he knows that this program shows who he is. He’s sure it would give him gold.

But he creates the second program anyway and it’s obvious that Eros choreography is based on his and Yuuri dance from last year banquet. 

So, let’s look at Victor’s Eros.

Whether you headcanon Victor as totally inexperienced or just lacking emotional connection with previous lovers it’s clear that he wouldn’t make this program if he wouldn’t meet Yuuri. Yuuri is Victor’s eros. And he dedicates this program to Yuuri or he gladly would but Yuuri isn’t there after the GPF. Victor is still thinking about him while skating though. This is a new feeling for him and he could use it to suprise audience but it’s not what he wants. He wants Yuuri to watch.

I really enjoyed rewatching this scene because Victor is so proud of his eros (just look at this little happy face).

He totally puts everything he got in this and Yuuri still has no idea.

Victor’s eros is a declaration of feelings that Yuuri gave him but also - it’s probably the first time that Victor has to think of someone while skating. He’s eros doesn’t have meaning without Yuuri. He’s already considered the hottest skater, so he doesn’t have to show it with this program. But he really wants to skate it for Yuuri and I’m glad he had a chance. 

Yuuri is so right being so wrong. ;D

Going back to the main topic - Victor can show what he learned from Yuuri by skating Eros but I think he’s not sure he can do it without Yuuri himself, just as Yuuri can’t give satysfing performance without Victor watching. So he’s torn - he knows that Agape will probably give him another victory but Eros is where his heart is right now. But can he perform it without the person he created it for? To clarify I don’t say that it was necessarily real love from the first sight but he did that cheoreography thinking of that night with Yuuri and I’m sure he wanted Yuuri to see it. 

To sum up everything: Victor couldn’t decide between Eros and Agape, because it was like deciding between two parts of his personality - the one being easy and beautiful but lonely and the second that Yuuri helped him to discover that one night, in a way that completly changed his life. But when Yuri is gone, Victor doesn’t want to risk performence based on this particular feeling - until he sees Yuuri skating Victor’s routine with such passion. And Victor doesn’t have to decide anymore. He goes to Japan and learns to combine his eros with his agape. In other words he learns what does love mean just as much as Yuuri. And I think it’s really a very subtle but beautiful way to show as how Victor had seen the love before Yuuri and what he learned by being his coach. That’s what he means we he says he found his “life an love” in Yuuri - he understood that he can feel agape and eros at the same time and he doesn’t have to be alone anymore.

Shane vs. the elite Russian defense:

See, thank you. It feels like a big realization for me tbh

But we look back everyday- rechecking emails, making sure a friend is still behind you, checking to see if you remebered to pick up your keys. It's second nature, a habit of care.

1. Ferdinand Cheval tripped over a stone and was inspired by its shape, eventually stating, "It represents a sculpture so strange that it is impossible for man to imitate, it represents any kind of animal, any kind of caricature. I said to myself: since Nature is willing to do the sculpture, I will do the masonry and the architecture."

Here's the tripped-over sandstone in question, which explains some of the abstract design:

Oh, and also: