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title: angel (m)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)
series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2 | fugue pt. 3 | fugue pt. 4
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: right before he leaves, your brother’s conversation makes your heart stop. and it forces you to make a decision that you need to stick to, no matter what the future holds.
note: it’s been.. two years since the last main storyline update. many things have happened since then, i’ve learned more about myself, and touched more grass than ever. but we’re finally back to our scheduled tangerine programming, and it feels so surreal. incredibly grateful to everyone that has stayed, and welcome to all of you that are new to the 3tan universe!
note 2: also, happy birthday to @somebodydoesluv, @al3ejandra, and anyone else who is celebrating around this time! may you all celebrate a prosperous and healthy year around the sun.
warnings: how it starts LOL, language, explicit scenes, angst, tension, overthinkers overthinking, sibling fights, abandonment mentions, yoongi in those gd glasses again, jimin…?, obligatory kissing warning, everyone being a ride or die i’m weeping, we give the yoongi the business oops, ermm did i say angst, crying, hand holding since it’s a warning now, weapon mentions, wound mentions, yoongi on the phone :), blanket kicks incoming, feelings at an all time peak, fluff??, bro best bro, yoongi in tanks….., vmin best vmin, reader is so strong, but both siblings just need hugs man😩, studio………. time……?, things get so nasty i was blushing y’all ngl
explicit warnings: under the cut and dear god help me lmao
mood: off my face - justin bieber ; ojitos lindos - bad bunny
drop date: july 14th, 2026, 7:17pm est
word count: 25.5k…….. :’)))
explicit warnings: cursing, thigh riding, cowgirl, oral (m rec), naughty studio time(??), couch sex, rough sex, giving yoongi the business, bold as fuck reader, choking, spanking, penetrative sex, kissing deserves to be here too lol, alexa play no hands by waka flocka, deep throating, hair/head tugging, nipple play, yoongi in that gd tank, yoongi in those gd glasses, teasing, titty fucking hello!!!!, stripping while he watches…. yeah, missionary, sub!3tanyoongi?????, scratching, multiple orgasms, protected sex, emotional sex, the glasses.. stay on??, good god they’re so hot i’m blushing
—
—
It’s morning when Jimin gets a call.
Shifting in sheets that aren’t his, he sleepily blinks once before eyeing the blue light with a squint, wondering who dares wake him up before his natural rise. What time even is it anyway? It’s gotta be an ungodly hour if his circadian rhythm is disturbed.
Still, he grabs his cell from the nightstand, flinching at the movement behind him and inwardly slinging out curses.
Because waking him up is one thing.
But if anyone disturbs Taehyung he’s gonna give them hell—
Min Yoongi: Incoming Call
Shit.
Jimin yanks the covers off, rushing out of bed and snapping Tae awake anyway. For what? Don’t fucking know, but they’re ready. Wherever. Whatever. They already stayed up clutching their phones until they physically couldn’t keep their eyes open.
Because as much as Yoongi assured him nothing would happen, Jimin still couldn’t let go of his car keys.
Answering slow, he feels his chest winding and winding, eyes locked with Taehyung while they both wait on edge, “…Yoongi?”
“Yeah.”
Thank the fucking stars.
Yoongi’s okay. He’s on the line. He made it to morning or whatever fucking time it is, and he’s doing exactly what he said he would.
And it’s enough, enough, enough.
Burns zing up the corners of Jimin’s eyes, and he swipes hard as Taehyung moves, likely to hear what’s happening and even more likely to just be by his side.
Jimin is grateful for either one. But he tries to keep composure as he croaks, “You better have woken me up for a reason.”
The slight hum on the line induces a wobbly smile. “You slept?”
“Fuck you,” Jimin shakily laughs, wiping liquid relief from an eye before Taehyung’s thumb brushes tenderly over the other. His gaze is thankful while continuing, “We did but not much.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Sniffling, Jimin walks to Tae’s door, letting him into the hallway first and finally drinking in the sight of his ass in those sweats. Because he can finally function like a normal, smitten loser again. “We’ll come over so we can—”
“No need.”
“What?” Nope. Back to panic mode. And judging from his boyfriend’s posture, Taehyung has backpedaled into that, too. “What do you mean no need?”
There’s a slight pause on the line, and small noises make their way through the speaker. It sounds like bedsheets, but it also sounds like…
“She’s still sleeping.”
Oh.
Oh, shit.
A tidal wave of relief crashes into Jimin’s ducts as he hangs his head, palming his face caught in a heavy tide of emotion. When he turns, Taehyung fairs no better, his eyes red and fingers wiping at a perfect, perfect cheek. One of them sniffles, but Jimin can’t tell if it’s him or not, because his vision is blurry and his heart is beating, beating, beating again.
Whether you know it or not, whatever you did last night may have just changed Yoongi’s entire life.
Because Jimin knows this man through and through. Years of picking up his habits and tells didn’t amount to nothing. It’s how he was able to sense exactly when to intervene, and how he knew exactly what that hauntingly hollow tone in Yoongi’s voice meant when he busted in that day.
The tone he hears now? The man that just spoke on the line?
That is a Min Yoongi so in love he can’t even hide it over the phone.
Fuck.
Gathering himself, Jimin squeaks out, “I… I’m glad you…” What the fuck does he say? Every thought jams in his throat so hard he has to hand the phone off.
Thankfully, Taehyung perfectly continues his thoughts, voice scratching rocks under a waking river, “We’re glad you’re both safe.”
“Mm.”
“So when’s the wedding?”
Jimin huffs through a fresh batch of tears, clearing his face before grinning at Tae very seriously awaiting an answer. Honestly, at this point? It’s not far-fetched. Jimin’s seeing your future clearer than his present, and maybe he will be a fun uncle sooner than he thinks.
If only Yoongi would just get the fucking talk with your brother over with.
But Jimin understands the hesitation. If he were in that same position, there’s no telling when he would be courageous enough to stand up to the guy. There’s a reason he’s quick to command a room, and his lifelong mission to protect his younger sister made him grow up a lot faster than everyone else.
Still… Yoongi just deserves to be happy. And you’re the very obvious answer to helping with that.
As much as he may have wanted some chances of his own, Jimin is grateful you found your way into his best friend’s heart. Not just anyone is invited inside, and even less people can truly be allowed to stay.
And you’re probably the only one that has permanent residence.
“You guys should get some sleep.”
Taehyung pouts right on cue, and Jimin can’t fight those sleepy, droopy eyes. “You didn’t answer me.”
Cute as fuck! He must be stopped. Taking the phone, Jimin speaks into the line fully recovered, shooting his cheeky partner a teasing glare, “We will if you get some, too.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Got some things to do at the studio—”
“No!” They reject together, both equally as appalled because what the fuck kinda answer is that?
“After what happened last night? Are you crazy?”
“What happened to spending time with her? Men!”
“He’s going on a business trip, I can’t lose to him.”
“So what?” Tae asks before they both share an even further confused look. Yoongi may be a lovesick fool but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be a dumbass! “You’re just gonna leave her alone?”
There’s a sigh on the line before Jimin plants a hand on his hip. “Not just that. You gotta rest, too, bro. If she doesn’t tell you to take it easy or at least get checked—which she will—we’re going over there to annoy you.”
“You serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious.” Jimin cocks his head and leans closer to the phone. “At least rest easy for the next couple days. Especially if you have all this time to see each other.”
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. Your brother is leaving for his trip and Yoongi caught some unfortunate hits to his ribs. The dude basically has a free pass to spend the whole week with you, and he’s not even taking full advantage of it? Oh, the things Jimin has to say about the thin line of work ethic and relationship effort.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about it for a long time,” Taehyung cuts in before Jimin can pop off, walking away into the living room.
It’s fine. Let him figure out that you aren’t a woman he can just leave. Frankly? That would tickle Jimin to no end to see Yoongi folding his plans so fast just to be with you.
But he spares him the tirade only because you’re fast asleep right next to him. “Thank you for calling, man.”
“Said I would.”
“I know.”
Because above all else, Jimin is happy to hear that voice. Even if it’s obvious he’s a little banged up from last night, it’s still Yoongi. In one piece. That’s all Jimin wanted, and he can’t thank you enough,
“Don’t overwork yourself, and stay with her as long as you can.”
There’s a small laugh on the other end. “I plan on it, Chim.”
And Jimin catches on to why. “I’m holding you to that then.”
—
—
Dawn breaks through open blinds, stretching its orange tint across a clean, spotless table.
You don’t know what got you up so early. But when you peer into the kitchen, you tell yourself you woke up right on time.
Because seeing Yoongi when you’re wide awake is better than any dream you’ll ever have.
Not because of his appearance, even though the sight of him sends a pang through your chest. No. It’s the way he’s quietly prepping a morning meal, using the arm on his better side that’s not sporting a nasty hit to the ribs, without you even asking.
Bits of sunlight dance right out of your eyes.
The effort. The consideration. This man shouldn’t be lifting a finger, yet here he is cooking before you even left his bed. Isn’t this the same man that got caught up in a fight hours ago? Isn’t this the same man you almost walked out on with a frozen heart?
Yes. But he’s also the same man that loves you. And you still can’t grasp that concept in any of the fingers playing with his tee you borrowed.
“Hi,” you whisper, telling him a thousand things.
To which he regards before smiling soft, voice travelling over linoleum and circling around your heart, “Morning, doll.”
Damn. You hear it. Yoongi’s sore as hell.
But instead of getting into that right away, you silently take residence by his side. Because this moment feels too delicate, and you admire his willingness to take care of you unprompted. You didn’t even know you’d eat before going back home.
With a hand warming his back, you wait until Yoongi’s done tossing food on the stove to peck his morning-chilled cheek. “Thank you for cooking,” you murmur, admiring those beautiful brown eyes. “Sleep okay?”
“Cus of you,” your lover softly responds, eyeing your lips before gliding back up to your gaze. “You?”
Ugh. He’s gotta know those glasses are so unfair. They’ve gotten you repeatedly before, and they’re certainly getting you now.
But you can’t help but deflate at the cuts behind those rims, while knowing there are even more bruises hiding underneath his oversized tee. How is Yoongi cooking right now? How is he even awake? “Same.”
“Good.”
These instant, deep shivers at his deeper morning voice will never, ever go away. But anything you wanna do about them isn’t important right now. Right now, you need to make sure Yoongi is either okay, or finds a way to get better.
Sliding your hands down the slopes of his chest, you delicately rest one on his ribs. “Does it still hurt?”
Yikes. That wince is enough. But Yoongi doesn’t shy away from your touch, and you appreciate the way he stays honest. “It’s sore. But I should be good.”
“You gonna get it checked?”
There’s a slight upward tilt of his lips. “Not right now.” At least the honesty persists, as much as you don’t want him following the typical manly response to hospital visits. “But I will if you want me to.”
“Please go,” you gently urge, lest you disturb the soft morning dew before it melts with the sunrise. “For me?”
Only sizzles from the stove fill the space until Yoongi nods, and his voice is just as low and tender, “I’ll go after work.”
Oh. “You’re working today?”
Just like breakfast, you didn’t expect this, either. Frankly, you figured neither of you were gonna even think about work, much less go. Sure, he’s due a hospital visit and you owe some friends immediate explanations for your absence. But other than that, shouldn’t Yoongi be resting?
Does his craft truly mean that much?
Well, shit. You gotta respect his work ethic, that’s for damn sure. Because you would sequester yourself to your bedroom and have endless dates with your television if you were sporting a good jab or two. This music thing must mean more to Yoongi than you previously thought. And who are you to step on that dream?
Suddenly, all thoughts and concerns flee from the kiss on your cheek.
“I’ll stay if you stay,” he says, turning to move the pan and scrunching his face with a grunt. Fuck.
“I…” Shit, you were gonna go back to the house anyway. And from Yoongi’s smartass smirk, you can tell he already knew that. “Just need to check on him, too. And he doesn’t have a car right now, so. I should at least give him a ride.”
“Figured.” In a move so domestic your head spins, Yoongi turns your body and gently pats your butt. “Now go sit. Let’s eat and figure this out.”
—
—
As you devour a flawless meal and clean your dishes, you plan out the day. You’ll head home and check on your brother while Yoongi heads to the studio, and then you’ll rendezvous with your friends to hang out until he’s done with work. They’re already lighting up your phone like no one’s business—especially Yuri.
Yoongi flicks the sink off before you both head to his bedroom, and you melt at the way he slowly wraps his arms around your front halfway there, all four of your legs slowing to close the rest of the distance.
What’s he doing? This is joyfully new, but you have a pretty tight deadline. Warming his forearm and your own cheeks, you chuckle out, “We have to hustle, old man.”
“You hustle me all the time,” he accuses into your shoulder blade, kissing its ridge and making you reconsider walking out the door entirely. “Lemme have this.”
Your second laugh is more subdued, and you’re right between his bed and desk when you lift both hands to hold him close. “You have everything I got,” you wisp into his skin, planting your lips once, twice before you feel his arms press further in. “So this is nothing.”
Seconds and silence slide by, the delicate veil of early morning still hovering around the room. When Yoongi doesn’t say anything, you make to turn and face him.
But you’re stopped before your heart skips.
“I could stay like this all day,” he admits, voice so low it rumbles through your bones. “And it’d be perfect.”
“What, you don’t wanna see my face?” You joke with a giggle. “Rude, but that’s fine.”
Yoongi only buries his nose further, his glasses sliding against your skin peeking from his shirt. “I’m much braver right here, doll.”
Oh.
The leap your heart does is more of a dive, plummeting into the seafoam swirling around your feet. All the words you want to respond with jump off right after, leaving you with nothing but the clouds in your eyes.
You don’t quite know what he means by that. But it feels like those six words hold the weight of a thousand, so you simply let another kiss on his smooth forearm linger. “Do you want me to go with you?”
A puff of laughter warms you right through and, despite his earlier admission, Yoongi does slowly spin you around.
And when you follow, you realize you’re much braver when you aren’t facing him, too.
“It’s not that, babe,” he says through a dashing curve. “But the offer was cute.”
“I take it back then.”
“Damn!”
Both of your laughs whoosh out and collide, sweeping as Yoongi pinches your side and you flinch towards the bed. “You fucker—!”
Before you know it, your back hits a comforter before a weight presses your stomach, emotions clashing as you’re elated and shy and immediately concerned for your boyfriend’s side. “Baby, be careful—”
Lips capture yours, sucking up your warning before a hand slides under your head. Sighing, you arch into his chest, feeling the weight of his chains slip across your breasts.
Euphoria isn’t an adequate enough word to describe how you feel. Where there used to be flutters in your ribcage now reside strong, powerful wing beats, gusts of want and desire lifting you off the ground and launching you into clear skies. Starlight of every color exists within each kiss you share, and your fingers feebly grab his tee to keep you from falling back down to earth.
“If we don’t go now,” Yoongi rasps before sliding his mouth against yours, “We’re never going anywhere again.”
“I know,” you whisper, willingly letting him kiss you once more, “Is that a promise?”
“Fuck, I wish.”
You do, too. But you know you’re running out of time for what you need to do. And weren’t you just saying you had to respect his aspirations? Shit, you really do need to snap out of it. “Come on,” you order with a pat to his chest. “We have all week to do this. We got time.”
Turns out, you’re still amongst the heavens. The way Yoongi’s looking at you? This is the closest you’ll ever get to being held by an angel.
Did he get more handsome overnight? Or is it the light in his eyes sustained since his confession in the kitchen? You don’t quite know, and you may never pinpoint why, but the tug he has on your heart spans space and time.
And you’ll run through both forever to keep meeting him again and again.
Burns prick your eyes, but he mercifully stands before he can catch any evidence of your yearning.
Just like that, the two of you bounce back to getting ready, with him sliding notebooks and headphones in a backpack while you change into your own clothes. As you sling your bag over a shoulder, he reaches for the closest hoodie, and you wordlessly make your way to the front door.
You really do hope he gets looked at today. But just like the calm after a storm, you want to encourage him gently rather than shove him out. At least he seems receptive to your gentle suggestions.
But after you ask one more time and he simply nods, you lower your eyes to his kicks. “Sorry if I’m nagging. I’d just worry less if you went right away, that’s all.”
“You aren’t nagging, babe.” Your freshly bloomed lover reaches out to hold your wrist, smoothing a rough thumb over your skin. Fucking hell, you can’t help but frown at the gashes and cuts marring his knuckles. “I’ll go as soon as I can.”
Not just his hands, but his face. His ribs. And maybe other places you haven’t even seen yet.
You don’t wanna leave his side.
But you have to head out before your brother leaves. Things need to get patched up before he flies out into more stress, and you owe him an apology for walking out when he was still aching. Based on Yoongi’s physical state? Your brother could be hiding some big wounds and you didn’t even wanna talk to him.
However. Was last night necessary? Absolutely. You cannot entertain the possible outcomes had you not tried hard enough to get through Yoongi’s door. His eyes were so dulled, his hands felt so cold. What would have happened if you didn’t force yourself inside?
Why was that guitar smashed to pieces?
This is also why you refuse to leave. So many questions, so many things you still don’t know. Like what all happened when you were separated? And how in the hell is this man in love with you?
“I don’t wanna go,” you confess, instantly encased in his arms and warmth. “I’d much rather keep kissing you.”
“True,” he says with a resigned huff, shifting his glasses with an adorable nose scrunch. If only he didn’t have so many little red lines of conflict on his face. “But we both have stuff to take care of, so let’s get all that done first.”
“Ugh, fine.” Your groan is more teasing than serious, and Yoongi’s laugh is nothing but understanding.
Damn. You still feel it. You really don’t wanna go. Be it the rawness of last night still on your skin, or the confessions still on your tongues, you just wanna stay by his side. “Sorry,” you breathe out, lacing your fingers to pepper love along his strong, reddened ridges. “I’m serious. I don’t wanna leave you right now.”
Walking out of Yoongi’s door just doesn’t feel right. Even if he’s right there and will be following you out. Is this feeling normal? Are you supposed to feel this tightly woven to someone? Because the stitching between your hearts has only gotten stronger in the tempest of last night, as if you bonded together just to hold on for dear life.
Maybe that’s exactly what happened. And it’s exactly why you can barely take one step out of his place.
“Then don’t.”
Not one second passes before your chin is held, and lips slide so tenderly across yours that they may as well melt into your touch. Your reaction is quickly swooped into his mouth, and everything falls away as you let him seize your every thought. Lightning from last night zips out of your limbs, your toes, your fingers clasping his loose tee.
You might just cry where you stand.
How have his kisses gotten even better? How have you never felt this way even though you’ve done this far more times than you were ever supposed to? It should be impossible, and yet, this man finds even more ways to astound you.
Yoongi slips a hand over your cheek, giving one more beautiful push of his lips as he confesses, “I don’t wanna leave you, either.”
And your breath stutters onto his features. “You, too?”
Slow, he kisses your cheek, the clear rim of his specs skimming your nose. When he draws back, you look right into his eyes, wondering why he’s watching your mouth instead.
“Me, too.” Yoongi kisses your other side with a quiet peck. “Fuck, me, too.”
You fucking hate what you have to do, but you don’t have a choice.
With one last lingering kiss, you both gather enough courage to set out and do what you must.
—
—
Your house is already a flurry of activity as you enter to see your brother in the kitchen, packing his leather duffle that’s a constant companion on his trips.
Of course. The memory of him purchasing the lavish accessory pops into your head every time you watch him scurry around, dimples ever present on his proud cheeks. It’s almost enough to make you smile yet again.
But you can’t when the same face is currently scratched to hell. Just like Yoongi’s, if not worse.
Fuck, is he really gonna travel looking like that?
“Hey,” he rasps out, still fighting off slumber. “You’re back earlier than I thought.”
“Wanted to check on you before we left.” Fuck, your voice sounds like it’s being forced through a clogged pipe. Loosen the hell up! “And dude. Put some bandaids on, yeah?”
“Yeah, just give me a sec. Making sure I have everything before my ride gets here.”
“Huh?” He got a ride? You’re here now so you can take him to the airport. “You sure you don’t need me to drive you?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. I didn’t know you were coming back.”
Shit. His body seems just as angular as it did last night. Which, quite frankly, could still be from what went down in the lot.
Because even though you see both men banged up, you suddenly realize you don’t actually know what all transpired.
After all, there wasn’t much talk of it after you walked into the tempest of Yoongi’s living room.
Of course, you aren’t gonna bring it up just this second. There are other things to ask about and make sure of first. “Wallet? Phone? Passport?”
“Yup, yup, uhh.. Yup.”
Zippers sling in the quiet morning air as you continue, “And you’re coming back on Friday, right?”
“Oh.. Nah.” When you start crossing the kitchen, your brother hauls his leather bag over his better shoulder. Honestly, no one would be able to tell the other one’s bruised with his suit on. That thing damn well covers everything except the cuts on his face and hands. “Saturday.”
You pause in your journey to the medicine cabinet. “Wait.. Saturday? The release party’s on Friday.”
“Yeah.. I know.”
What the fuck? That’s bullshit they’re keeping him longer than they have to. Struggling to understand how corporate can keep your brother on a leash and get away with it, you urge, “Tell them to at least let you go home a day early. Don’t you wanna support your friends?”
“You mean Yoongi?”
A zing of terror zips through your eyes, freezing every vein in an instant.
The fuck was that question? Never mind. Stay calm stay calm stay fucking calm. “Uhh, yeah, he’s one of them? But the other guys, too, right? I know you care about them and this is huge.”
Mercifully, your sibling just shakes his head and waves you off. “Don’t you think I already tried? I don’t wanna miss it but I don’t have a choice. Conference schedule is pretty tight and I’m heading the panel on Friday.”
“Is it in the morning? You can fly out after—”
“Why are you fighting so hard?”
“Why aren’t you fighting harder!”
Okay, what in the hell is happening right now? Screw optics and how this must look for you, your brother needs to be there. Him and Yoongi are the tightest of friends, the most ride or die duo you’ve ever seen. You can’t picture a timeline where he misses this monumental moment, and it’s starting to really upset you that he’s barely trying.
“You think I’m not fighting for it?”
“I certainly don’t think you’re trying enough—”
“Alright, you know what?” Hard steps surge forward as you stand rigid, a duffle hastily dumped onto tile. “You don’t know what I’ve tried. You don’t even know if I even told him yet.”
Fucking shit. You hold his stare before turning away, tossing out the idea of bandages entirely and searing footsteps into the hallway—
“Or do you.”
Before icing over with the unforgiving frost of zero gravity space.
Slow, you turn, not quite facing him but not backing down, either. “…Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You talkin’? What else has he been doing to you?”
Oh. Fuck that.
Doing to you?
Fuck all of this. This is too much to handle right now and you know you’re gonna snap if he keeps pushing because you are not having this conversation right before he leaves. You’ve already thought about this before, right? You cannot fuck with his head right before business trips because he needs to be on and locked in.
But now he’s fucking with your temper and those are some choice fucking words pulled out of his ass.
You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately threatened this man to his face and meant it before, and it tears a sharp corner of your heart, “You better be very careful. With whatever you wanna say next.”
The air proves too thick to slice. While your body stands aflame, your brother is iced over, brimming with an energy that damn near takes physical form. “All I’m saying is? I find out some fucking bullshit is going on—”
No no no, not now.
Reacting fast is your only instinct, brain haywire and fizzling fizzling boiling. Harsh, you spin on your heel and shout the first thing you can think of, “Oh, come on—”
“You better hope to god you’re ready for what’s coming—”
“Stop!” Fuck fuck fuck, this is so frustrating because your head is exploding and your body is screaming to just tell him already. Fuck the consequences at this point this is ludicrous.
Doing to you? Yoongi? How dare he speak about his best friend like that how dare he accuse him without outright saying the words all you have to do is tell your brother how wrong he’s got it.
But you can’t be the one. Yoongi said he would, and he probably took months to get to that point of strength—and healing, from what you can tell.
This is between them. Them. You have to honor that, as much as you wanna just confess everything now and deal with it yourself.
But goddamn your brother is pulsing with anger and it’s leaking into your own charged air.
What does he think is happening? Does he think Yoongi’s just, what, playing you? He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. Yoongi’s been nothing but the best thing that’s ever happened to you and shit your heart hurts because…
Your brother is valid in thinking that.
How foolish. Didn’t you guard your heart from Yoongi for the longest? Didn’t everything start because you figured you knew who he was because of his reputation? You got him all wrong, too. So how can you be mad at your brother for doing the same?
Fuck, think. Just think before someone gets hurt.
Because if you aren’t careful, someone—or multiple someones—will get hurt in seconds. You have to bear the pain alone right now. To protect them both, you have to keep your trembling mouth shut.
And? You have to admit that something isn’t fair here. Not to you, not to Yoongi, but to him. Last night was rough as fuck but, while you both got to have raw, beautiful closure, the one standing in front of you had to go to sleep in an empty house.
So chill the fuck out.
Breathing to cool down, you tense and loosen, tense and loosen. “I get it. You’re angry, and you have a lot going on. But,” you bite down on your lip to keep going. “We’re talking about something else. We’re talking about you, and I’m still pissed you even let those guys goad you into a fight. What are we, twelve?”
Seething, your sibling takes the switch of pace. But it is not what you want to hear. “Are you seri—? What the hell was I supposed to do? That son of a bitch grabbed you—”
“I know,” you recoil. “Don’t tell me like you were there, because you weren’t.”
Finally—finally—those angry lines in his face vanish.
But they make way for something much worse than anger. Because your older brother, someone that’s been there for you your whole life..
Looks absolutely stricken over the one time he wasn’t.
Damn it.
Regretful, you drop your shoulders in exhaustion and quiet compromise. When you continue, your voice is much softer, “But I told you: they were. Your friends, they were there because they knew you wanted that. Jimin got me away, Yoongi took me home and stayed.”
You really have got to stop saying his name like you love him. It could start becoming too obvious.
Shuddering, you shift your weight, folding your arms and shrinking into yourself.
That night, despite Yoongi’s best and most gentle efforts, still clings to where that loser touched you at Dalo. You hate that you haven’t gotten over it, and you loathe the way you still rub over the same spot. Over, and over. “What did you want him to do? Leave me here?”
“No.”
“Exactly. And he didn’t.” You adjust your stance again, making an impromptu gamble as you decide to let some truth leak out. Because your brother is owed at least this much. “And fine, you wanna know something? We do talk more because of it.”
Your brother’s head snaps up, and you brace. Because if you show any shred of weakness or hesitation, he’ll see right through your weak attempt to hide most of the truth,
“But don’t ever accuse him of doing anything to me. That was fucked up to say and you know it.”
“Fuck.” In agreement, he rubs his hair back. “It was. I’m sorry.”
“Trust me,” you swallow, hating that this is how things have to be for now. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s never.. Never done anything to me, anyway.”
It’s not a lie. Everything he’s done has been with you. For you. Because of you.
But your heart’s in anguish as it sinks. Because that expression on your older sibling’s face can only be one thing.
Pure. Utter. Relief.
Fire singes your eyes before you can quell the flame. It’s the hardest technical truth to swallow.
Sure, he doesn’t have anything to worry about as far as you being safe. And on top of that, he doesn’t have to worry about any fake shit because Yoongi confessed to you last night.
But as far as his best friend sleeping with and now dating his sister behind his back? That is still very much sitting right in the center of the table.
And now you’re starting to see just how fucked all three of you are as soon as you sit down to eat the truth.
But Yoongi said he’d be the one to tell, so he will.
This feeling is so fucking miserable, though.
In the end, your brother is effectively convinced, raking a hand across his head and sighing. “Jimin told me what all went down at Dalo, I just… Last night was… Fucked up.”
“Well, yeah.”
“No. See, this is just like what you said to me. You can’t say it like you were there.”
It’s your stomach’s turn to twist. “So? You were scratched and bruised to hell, and Y…” Shut up, shut up. You’re not supposed to know about the state of anyone else. “And you were… quieter.”
“Because of what happened, dude.”
You blink. “What… What happened?”
Your brother looks at you—really looks at you.
And suddenly, your gut flares in terror, storming in an instant across your abdomen.
“That bitch pulled something on us.”
Your heart.
It’s in freefall.
“Wait… What?” You can’t even form more than one syllable at a time, your legs turning gelatinous and knees starting to give out. “No… What are you…?”
What the fuck did he just say? That bitch pulled a what?
Your sibling slowly walks toward you once again, watching like he’s just waiting for you to say anything. Do anything.
But you’re a complete statue because all you can think about is the horror of something happening and the relief that nothing happened all at once.
Was Yoongi too scared to mention that part? Is this why he was holding back and shaking every time he reached out to touch you? Even this morning, he was so…
You’ve never seen him like that. Is this why?
Your mind is swirling and crashing, overlapping each passing thought and scream running through your head. “I’m so sorry,” you hitch out, “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Didn’t wanna scare you,” he sighs out. Putting both hands on his hips, your brother stops feet away, visibly still shook as he pierces wooden planks with his stare. “But he pulled it right before Yoongi… and if it weren’t…Fuck.”
Burns flare and slice through your eyes when he has to pause. What is he trying to say? Pulled what?
Before Yoongi what?
Your brother continues, and your throat tightens. “If it weren’t for some random ass sirens, I… Things could’ve been so different.”
What the fuck is happening. What the hell are you hearing?
“It was probably dumb as fuck. But I was so fucking angry,” he grits out, watery eyes crushed looking your way. “So fucking mad at how he was talking about you, I.. Walked right up to him and told him to fuck off.”
You can’t even breathe.
“I still feel it,” he quietly adds, fingers pressed against his side. “Right here.”
“Fuck,” you finally choke out, eyes on fucking fire.
“But all I knew was to keep you all safe,” he says, with hardened resolve and a wobbly chin. “And that’s exactly what I did. I did that shit, even if that meant—”
Tears fling out of your eyes, flowing hot down your cheeks because you wouldn’t want any of them to go out that way. Nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened and yet your body is acting as if something did and it hurts.
Your brother is there as soon as you crumple forward, letting you bury your head in his chest and sob your heart out. For him, for his friends, and for all the time you had with the man you love so, so dearly.
If anything happened to your brother before you came clean… If anything happened before you and Yoongi could even…
Suddenly, you feel equal weights of guilt. For running out on your brother. And for almost walking out on Yoongi.
You decide an apology is in order for both of them, and all the understanding in the world for Yoongi’s frosted demeanor as soon as you get him alone again.
And you are one hundred percent going to tell your brother everything once he’s back.
The tears cannot stop, and you’re sure you are crying unimpeded in a pressed and primmed suit. “I’m so sorry,” you keep repenting like a prayer. “This is all my fault.”
“No—”
“You almost—”
“Hey, stop.” He yanks you back, both of your faces soaked with saltwater. “What did I say before? I threw the first swing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But it led to all this, I just.. I just feel so fucking stupid.”
“Don’t. Hey, look at me.” Firm but gentle, he holds you at arm’s length, forcing you to face him. “Maybe we’re both stupid, but you weren’t the idiot. I was.”
You feel so many conflicting things in your soul.
What would you have done if Yoongi was in critical condition? What would you have done differently if your brother was instead? Are they the same? Are the two situations really so different anymore?
No they aren’t they aren’t they aren’t.
“Please don’t do that again,” you shake out. “Even if it was for me, if I ever lost you, I...”
“You know I can’t promise anything.” He furrows his brows when you eye him with anger and sadness. “But nothing like that is happening again. Especially with the same dudes.”
“Okay.”
A vicious tornado of emotions sends your whole body into agonizing pain. This isn’t what you expected at all, and it’s causing your limbs to lock at the bends. Too many scenarios are jangling about yet you can’t ask for specifics because that will just make it even more real.
A nightmare is somehow better once you know it ends with you waking up. “I’m… gonna need some time to process everything.”
“I know. And I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but… You deserve to know the things I get into.”
Ah.
The irony is not lost on you.
“At least, if they involve you. We learned our lesson. You were right to tell us off.”
God. You feel numb.
“Thanks,” you murmur, suddenly immensely tired. “I think I need more sleep.”
A blaring honk sounds outside the house, and you both flinch at the noise.
And your throat burns at the way your brother instinctively swept you behind his back.
When you realize what it is, you know what has to come next.
And he’s the first to react as he turns to face you again, “Alright. I’m heading out, just remember to go get my baby when she’s fixed, yeah?”
“Do you have to go?”
Wait.
The question seems to startle him as much as it does you.
How did you blurt it right out before even registering the words? Why does your heart clench at the sight of those eyes looking so pained?
Why does everything feel so shaky within these walls that were always your home?
“I do,” he says, voice tight. “I’m sorry.”
And why the fuck do you feel sad he’s leaving?
“No, no, it’s.. Of course you have to.” You can’t help the lump in your throat from bobbing, the regret in your limbs as they barely move at your side. “I dunno why I asked, I guess I just..”
There’s no response to your sniffle.
“Sorry for yelling,” you squeak out. “I just feel really queasy.”
For a lot more reasons than one.
“We all made it out,” your brother whispers. “That’s what matters.”
“Will you… Will you at least try to be back for the party?”
The man swallows with his brows knit tight, then attempts to crack the tiniest smile. “You know I will. That’s my guy.”
“Okay.” You nod, sniffling again. After what he just told you? You know he’ll do anything for the ones he loves. “See you there.”
Your brother rubs a comforting palm over your head before turning, heading for the door and grabbing his leather duffle.
When he stops to glance at you one more time, you give a little wave of your hand before watching the door click shut.
Chest caving as you collapse to the ground in tears.
—
—
The need to call Yoongi burns so harshly your fingers damn near set your top aflame.
But he’s at work, and you can’t fuck things up right when you’re approaching the finish line. You almost did with your brother, and that gave you twelve heart attacks in the span of minutes.
Still. Your chest aches so much that a thirteenth could very well be approaching. You don’t even realize you’re bracing the hallway wall for support until you try to stand, back sore and aching from bending so far for so long.
What did your brother mean to say about Yoongi? What did that coward pull on them? Do you even want to know what happened?
Fighting back tears, you reach down for your phone, shakily typing out a message only to erase it. Then again. And again.
And again.
Giving up, you forcefully swallow all your worries, cringing at the bitterness of the unknown and the burnt molasses of hidden truths.
It’s going to be okay. No matter what you think or imagine in your head, they made it out, they made it out, they are all alive.
That’s the only reason you can move forward, each step getting you from your room. To your bathroom.
And back again.
—
—
After showering, you feel lighter and refreshed, though the soreness between your legs has yet to leave.
But you wouldn’t want it any other way, as it’s another reminder of Yoongi’s apparent brush with survival. His broken living room spurned the creation of your bond, your devotion to him as he confessed before you gave him your utmost trust in his sheets.
The end is so close. As soon as this week is over, you’ll rip the last bit of peel from your pair of tangerines, baring all truths to your brother and facing the consequences.
Finally ready, you head to your car, opening your text threads with a plan: start slow.
Start with something that can be interpreted neutrally if anyone saw it on his phone screen, especially if your headstrong ex is in the room.
You [12:31pm]: how are you feeling?
Yoongi [12:34pm]: 1 Attachment
You close your door with brows furrowed.
Yoongi’s at the hospital?
That’s not what you expected at all.
Your chest swells with relief knowing he’s there, but you also wanna make sure he’s feeling okay. Especially his mental state after whatever the fuck your brother just dropped on you before leaving.
Goddamn, that’s going to gnaw at your brain until you find the right time and right amount of courage to ask about it. Because it’s very possible Yoongi won’t tell you.
Because it’s probably something he knows you won’t like.
Fuck.
You [12:34pm]: Loved an Attachment
You [12:34pm]: thank you for listening🤍 still sore?
Yoongi [12:35pm]: Yeah, but not bad. Just there.
Wait. He’s not at the studio. That means you can—
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you slowly say as you pull out into the street. “I’m driving now so this is easier.”
“Course. You going to Tae’s?”
“Maybe. I’m going to Yuri’s first.” You swallow, realizing that you didn’t tell him about what you let slip before driving over. “I.. Told her. About you.”
There’s a little bit of silence on the line, just some adjustments and muffled speaker sounds. “Sorry, just writing this down. What’s wrong with that?”
You huff through your nose. Gotta be those patient forms that always take forever to fill out. “Oh. Just more and more people knowing, is all.”
“Everyone’s gonna know eventually.”
You hold back a small smile. Because he’s right. “Yeah. I’m just tired of this feeling.”
“Like you’re hiding something.”
It’s your turn for silence. He doesn’t know how accurately that was played out today. The only answer you can provide is a curt, “Exactly.”
“Same.”
Wings beat around your heart again.
He wants this. Yoongi really, really wants this. And years ago, that outcome wouldn’t have even crossed your mind as an option.
“Thank you for going, baby.”
“The guys made me.”
You hum. “Which ones.”
After a pause, you hear a puff of amusement. “All of them at some point today, actually.”
All of them? Does that include your brother? Did they talk about the trip already?
Your laugh is bittersweet. “Well. Glad to know you can be forced by everyone else except me.”
“Hey, I was already gonna go because of you!” Yoongi quietly retorts, and you giggle at the pout in his words. “Just wanted to get a headstart on work first.”
You were right. He really does wanna go all out for his musical endeavors.
It’s extremely admirable, and wildly attractive, but it does come to a point. “As much as I love your passion, old man, I wanna keep you upright.”
He laughs soft into the line, and you think you can listen to that specific sound on an infinite loop. “That’s fair.”
“How long is it gonna take, you think?”
“Dunno. But I’ll keep myself busy until I’m out.”
Of course he will. You don’t doubt he won’t waste any time. Didn’t he bring journals in his backpack? You wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote ten thousand songs before being called in. “Just call me if you need anything, please?”
“Of course, babe.”
“Thank you,” you say with utmost sincerity. “If only my brother would be less stubborn and get checked, too.”
“He’ll probably do it once he gets there.”
“Did you convince him?”
“Nah. But once he knows I did, he’ll do it.”
“Figures.” You scoff. “Okay, I’m almost there. Let me know how it goes.”
“K. Bye, doll.”
You didn’t ask him what went down. But it’s not the time nor place, and you have plenty of chances this week to figure out when that would be—if at all.
“Talk soon.”
—
—
For a normally bustling household, Yuri’s house is quiet.
So it’s not shocking when you walk into the kitchen and see all your friends glance your way, slowly vacating their chairs with eyes never leaving your face. Even Reia is on high alert.
Did Yuri tell her? Did Yuri tell anyone else?
No. She’s a talker and loves spilling, but she promised. And when she promises something, you know you can trust her to keep it.
It’s what pours emotion in your voice as you meekly greet, “Hey, guys—”
A crushing hug closes your throat. Yuri’s the one that gets to you first, with Reia and Dominique waiting their turns to offer you healing, relieved embraces.
“What happened?”
“Scared us half to death.”
Dom puts you at arm’s length to give a once over, noting your face rubbed raw and eyes still a little bloodshot. Thankfully, her pupils hold more concern than disappointment. “You good?”
Your eyes wobble alongside your smile, and you think it’s enough proof. “More than that,” you still decide to whisper, and your heart beats again at her reaction.
“Thank god. I was ready to kick your ass if you weren’t.”
Heading up to Yuri’s room, you all wait until the door is swung back before mounting her canopy bed, sitting in a tight circle as you divulge everything.
Well. Almost everything.
You tell them that Yoongi is the one you’ve been seeing, how you went to check on him last night in a panic, and the terrifying reason why. When you mention the fight after the basketball game, all three of your friends erupt in questions, and you have to assure them everything turned out okay. Honestly, you also do this to assure yourself, too.
“So… Your brother’s just fine with all of this?” Reia asks, not noticing the tick of Dom’s jaw.
“Well,” you start with a higher pitch, earning a pair of groans. “He doesn’t exactly know yet—”
“Yup. He’s gonna murder him.”
“Yeah, should we say our condolences now or..”
“How long has this been going on?” Reia fires off another question that digs into your chest. “Was he the one you were seeing the whole time?”
“Yes,” you admit with a sigh. “I should’ve told you guys from the beginning, but. The whole thing just felt so delicate. But! We just started making things official recently, so..”
Dom turns your way. “Official how?”
Well. Here goes everything.
With a shaky breath, and lingering feelings from the time it happened, you reveal with watery eyes, “Yoongi… Told me he loves me.”
Both Yuri and Reia react in yelps, Dom’s gaze lowering as the girls reach to grab your hands.
Wait. What’s going on with her? She’s the one that knows the most, she’s the one that covered for you all those months ago. She has to be the one that is the least surprised at all this.
Blinking, you note to confront her about it later. Right now, you’re too focused on trying not to cry as your friends tumble out questions and support,
“He said it? Did you say it first or did he?”
“How did it happen! Oh, I’m so happy for you, babe—”
“Thank—thank you, Yuri,” you squeeze out as she hugs you close. “I couldn’t believe it, but he just.. Said it. We weren’t even doing anything, I was just.. Looking up what injuries he could have..”
And he confessed in the most Yoongi fashion he could have.
Looking back, it shouldn’t shock you at all. He’s always found ways to sweep you off your proverbial feet, so why would a confession plucked from the heavens be any different?
She lets you go before wiping her eyes, Reia and even Dom now sporting watery pupils, too.
“As much as I’m upset at you for not telling us, I’ve never been so happy for you.” When Yuri’s features crease in another sob, you sniffle along with the rest. “It’s been so long since you… And you really.. Fuck.”
You know what she’s trying to say, and the realization has your throat constricting so tight.
It’s been forever since you’ve had something like this, someone like this. When you and Jungkook were together, you told him that you loved him before he broke it off.
Sure, you bought the rings together, but he never uttered those words until years after when it didn’t even matter. And all your relationships after his were complete and utter bullshit, so you don’t think you ever even heard those three words and knew them to be true.
Yoongi was the first to ever say them so sincerely.
And that fact makes your ducts burn and burn.
And when Yuri finally speaks, it breaks the dam holding your real deluge back,
“I can’t think of anyone else that deserves to be loved more than you.”
All at once, everything streams out as you hunch forward. The pain of everything you’ve endured, the hopelessness of knowing you’d most likely end up alone, the excruciating prospect of a future that you never deemed bright, or peaceful, or comforting.
And to think that even this man could’ve been snatched away from you in a snap? Even more tears overlap with the ones you’re shedding, and you can’t even reach out to hug all three beautiful, angelic souls surrounding you with tight arms and sobs because your limbs lock at all bends.
It’s the exact release you need. All your friends supporting you, all the pent up anxiety of last night and today, the truth setting itself free in some capacity—all in the comfort of a plushie-laden bed you only doubted yourself in last time.
Everything’s gonna be alright. It has to be. You’re gonna fight for the ones you love, even if a war between them is inevitable.
It takes a few minutes of heavy silence for you all to separate, swiping and rubbing tears while letting out happy sniffles.
When you thank them for being understanding, they assure you it’s okay. And when you say you’re going to tell your brother soon, a force from the doorway has all of you leaping from lilac sheets,
“Tell him what?”
Jia stands firm with a laundry basket at her hip, and Yuri scoffs at her older sister for barging in. “A knock would’ve been nice!”
Fuck!
You can’t tell Jia of all people. If you spill anything about Yoongi, she’s one hundred percent going to tell your brother. They’re the same age, and run in pretty tight circles, so of course you are not going to risk it.
But you can tell her something else you’re going to tell your older sibling, so you fire out a half-truth,
“Tell him not to pick any other fights that could get him killed.”
Jia’s eyes zoom to your wrecked face, and she drops the laundry with haste before asking, “What happened? When? Tell me now.”
Huh. Maybe your brother has a type, if he’s still into Jia like he said before.
You feel a little spark in your chest as you let her know they all got in a scuffle after the basketball game, and another pang as she immediately abandons the room and clothes with a fierce declaration,
“I’m gonna kill them myself!”
“Don’t worry, I already hounded my brother!” You call out after her, sighing as Yuri shakes her head with a smile. “She gets like that when she’s really worried, huh.”
“Yeah..” Your friend leans to look around you, noticing the basket left alone on the ground. “And if she’s super fired up, she drops everything and doesn’t stop until it’s handled. Clearly.”
Maybe both older siblings really are similar.
The firestorm of an interruption seemed to break the tension in the room, with all of you finally relaxing and catching up. When they ask you questions, you answer what you can.
And when you divulge information that has your ears burning, their squeals and yells give you whole new reasons to live.
—
—
After a very comforting lunch Yuri’s mom cooked, you head to the bathroom when your phone suddenly vibrates through your palm.
Huh? That’s weird. You expect the name on your screen to be Taehyung, not Yoongi.
Not that it’s a bad thing. You’ve been waiting to hear from him, so this is a pleasant surprise.
Closing the door to the guest bathroom, you gaze at the calming sage decor with a smile. “Hi, how did it—”
“You’re coming over later, right?”
Oh, shit. Is he okay?
“Yes, baby,” you respond with a soothing lilt, ears perked and body on high alert.
Does he think you aren’t anymore? You both decided on the plans earlier. Surely he knows you’d never just flake on him. “I’m coming back once you’re done with work, remember?”
There’s an uncomfortable pause on the line, which makes your boyfriend’s next question jab you so far in the lungs you can’t breathe,
“…Can it be now?”
Shit.
Just like Jia earlier, you drop every plan you have to the wayside. You’re sure that Taehyung will understand, and you already got through the biggest conversation you needed to with your friends.
“Of course,” you whoosh out. “Lemme just say bye and I’ll go.”
“Take your time.” A small shuffling interrupts. “It’ll take me a bit to get back.”
“Okay. See you there.”
The strained urgency in his voice makes your hair stand on end, so you vacate the bathroom to inform the girls that you gotta go—but not without a quick head tilt towards Dom, who follows you outside and into the afternoon sun.
—
—
You wait until you’re next to your car on the street, turning with a concerned expression and jittery nerves, “What’s up with you? Did I do something wrong?”
Turns out, you read Dominique correctly. Her jaw locks before loosening, and it reminds you of the time she confronted you about Yoongi before. God, how much has changed since then. That feels like ages and ages ago.
“It’s not about you,” your best friend clears the air and the tightness in your shoulders. “I’m just.. Glad he came around.”
“Yoongi?” When Dom nods, you blink. “Wait, what?”
“At your house that night.. After he left your room, we had—I dunno, a heart-to-heart.” She sighs, flicking braids over her shoulder. You note to compliment the beads she chose this time, because they remind you of summer and simpler times. “I might’ve pressured him a bit, and.. I think he wanted to tell me that he loved you. All the way back then.”
Something in your heart stutters, and you can only repeat your last question, “What?”
“Yeah. Something about needing to do something first,” she continues, holding your gaze with perfect brows furrowed in sunlight. “But I could tell he was damn serious about whatever it was. And if he was willing to do it for you? I let it go.”
Your mind whirls.
Yoongi was already in love with you back then? Is that why he needed to let you go? To deal with whatever he had to do?
One side of you breaks thinking he had to go through all that alone; the other side is screaming at his past self for not even giving you a choice. What did he go through? What did he have to do?
Now you really have to see him. Immediately.
“Thank you, Dom,” you rush out while opening your door. “I’m just happy it’s over.”
“The hell it’s not.” Shooting you a glare that heats the oncoming breeze, she reminds, “It’s not over until your brother knows. And based on everything that’s happened? That conversation is not gonna go over well.”
A dark, simmering boil starts in your stomach, and you’re already feeling queasy again. Tightening your door handle, you gulp hard. “I know.”
“Trust me, I’m happy for you both. I am.” Both hands find her hips as she levels a gaze that you really, really don’t enjoy. “But I’m gonna be honest, I think this is gonna ruin their friendship for good.”
Both of your lungs clamp shut.
“Please don’t say that,” you beg, “I’m gonna fight for all of us. I will.”
“I don’t doubt that, babe. Hey, uh uh, come here.” Reaching out, she gives you a tight hug just when you feel fragile again.
“Listen to me. I don’t doubt that,” she says into your shoulder. “I’m just here to be realistic. Just don’t be shocked if that’s how it goes. We’ll be here for you no matter what, too.”
“Okay,” you say with a scrunched face into her scent. God, she always smells so good, and it’s almost enough to calm you down. Almost almost almost. “Thank you. But I’m not giving up.”
“That’s my girl.” She squeezes you one more time. “I love you.”
With eyes searing over, you choke and grip her tighter. “I love you, too.”
—
—
Yoongi’s door warms your back as you wait for him to show.
But there’s a good chance it can just be your volcanic anxiety.
Ever since your arrival, you’ve paced, you’ve gnawed on your lips, you’ve had to shake the nerves out of your hands.
And over and over, you’ve strained your neck to look for your favorite cat, because you could sincerely use even a glimpse of her right now.
While she doesn’t end up showing, Yoongi rounds the nearest corner minutes after your last desperate scan.
Fuck, he’s so handsome.
Even now, as he simply walks toward you with a backpack slung over his shoulder, you watch with undying yearning to feel those flowing bangs over his forehead. You’d even settle for a single touch of his cheeks, one of them currently sporting a thin bandage.
But the closer Yoongi gets, the quicker your admiration morphs into concern. There’s a deep bend in his brows that you can’t decipher, and his fist is balled pretty tight.
Seriously, what happened? He looks so troubled that you slowly push off the doorway to ask,
“Baby, what’s—”
A bag hits the ground before you’re swooped into a kiss so electric your lips spark.
Him. Him, him, and more him. For the love of everything you don’t understand what’s happening but you kiss Yoongi back with everything you have, arms slinging around his strong shoulders and tugging him closer because he clearly needed this.
And fuck if you didn’t need it just as much. Screw it if anyone sees you. This is all you want and you’ll stay right here until he pulls away.
When he finally does, both of you swallow to catch your breaths, and your soul glimmers when his forehead meets yours.
“Hi, baby,” you whisper to his exhales. “Missed you, too.”
Silent, your lover kisses your forehead before hugging you close, and you’re more sure of your prediction than ever. Something is bothering him.
He doesn’t look worse, at least. But there’s clearly something off and he’s not hiding it. His lack of words is loud enough.
“Let’s go inside,” you quietly suggest. “I would’ve gone in already but I don’t have a key.”
He nods, fishing out his keyring to let you both inside.
When you set your bags down and slip off your shoes, it’s only seconds before you’re softly pulled into a hug again, surprising yet so, so welcoming.
Even only after a few hours, you’ve missed the fuck out of him. Which makes all of this an outright dream.
“Sorry,” Yoongi finally murmurs against your shoulder. “I just…”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” You stroke a hand along his hair, massaging his scalp and loving how soft it feels. The windswept strands fall back into place as you keep running your fingers through. “Did you at least get your appointment?”
“Yeah, I did.” He buries his face further. “Nothing bad. Just can’t lift anything heavy for a couple days.”
“Good. That’s easy to manage,” you whisper back into his tee, feeling the chill of lingering air conditioning and body warmth all at once. “Is something else bothering you?”
“Not exactly.” Whatever that means. “I’ll tell you about it later. Just wanted this, and you.”
Oh. That’s…
“I’m here now, love,” you assure with a melting heart, wondering what happened to cause this behavior.
Is it because of last night? Or something that happened today? You’re anxious all over again, but from the way Yoongi’s acting, your worries are second to his. “Have you eaten yet?”
He shakes his head, only pulling you closer with not a word from his lips.
And from this point on, you make a silent vow to yourself. Whatever Yoongi needs, you’re going to take care of him.
No matter what, these next few days are all about him—a minuscule sacrifice in comparison to everything he’s done for you, whether you knew about it or not.
“I’ll make you something then. Come on.”
When you walk, you slip your hand down his arm to hold his hand, and your lead into his kitchen is short.
“Any requests?” You cheerfully ask as you spare a smile over your shoulder. “We can do… Something light…”
Only to see him staring back with nothing but a lingering sense of longing.
Okay.
You need to get to the bottom of this now.
Stopping right over linoleum, you leave no room for arguments, “Yoongi. Tell me what’s wrong.”
He blinks before his gaze meets the floor. So you’re confused when he simply, quietly..
Laughs?
“It’s not that something’s wrong,” he slowly starts, a shy smile carving his features. “For the first time in my life, nothing’s wrong.”
Your heart beats extra loud.
“But it’s too much to explain right now.” His eyes rise to meet yours. “Just know that I’m so in love with you.”
Oh.
“And I want you to know that every day I live.”
Fuck.
Your body responds before you can say anything, lips connecting to remove any need for speech. The knowledge of them all staring death in the face last night makes this confession sear your insides, and you can’t help but kiss him like you’ll never get to again.
Yanking him back, you spin on your heel until he flings into the kitchen, clutching your wrists before gripping your jaw with both hands.
His mouth heats on yours, his glasses the only barrier between your skin. Everything sizzles from your head to your toes, and you both bang into a countertop before—
“Fuck, ouch.”
“Shit, you okay?”
Yoongi rubs his side with one eye pinched shut, a corner of his teeth present. “Yeah. Worth it, though.”
“Be serious,” you reprimand. Looks like he’s gonna have to take it easy, which means no going at it like animals until he’s on the mend. “No more until you feel better, yeah?”
“Says who?”
“Babe.”
His deadly pout almost breaks your resolve. “Fine.”
But you can wait. You’re sure it won’t take long, and for this man? You’ll wait however long you need to.
Besides, there’s plenty of things you can do in the meantime that don’t require running into hard objects.
“Good. Now let’s…” You turn away to get started before you’re held, and pulled back into yet another embrace.
What the hell is happening today? Your lungs and your melting pile of a brain can only take so much. It’s beautifully overwhelming how Yoongi can’t seem to let you go, because you’re the one that always loses control.
This whole time, it’s been you that can’t hold yourself back.
So now? Being on the other side? You don’t think you ever want him to restrain himself again.
This time, he moves slow. Sensuously slow, and it would occur to you that he’s finding a very cheeky loophole to your plan if you weren’t so hazy-eyed.
Whatever Yoongi’s doing, you won’t stop him.
Your back touches a counter before Yoongi cages you in, and your lips mold together as perfectly as his body does with yours. Your unhurried strokes match his, and your minds communicate without a single word.
There’s yearning still ever present. But there’s comfort in abundance, and a whole new level of need.
After he pulls away, you can visibly see him drink you in from head to toe.
“You know.. I’m good holding off on all the other shit.” Pulling you in, his lips curve as he confidently declares, “But I’m never gonna stop kissing you.”
His hands, his lips, his words. They all have healing powers, you’re so sure of it. If Yoongi hasn’t yet realized his unending pain has blossomed into a safe haven, you need to let him know no matter what,
“Good.”
There’s still a pining in his eyes, but he lets you free, hand skirting your hip before he walks to his room. “Gonna change then I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to, baby,” you say as you struggle to catch your breath. “I got it.”
Three minutes later, he’s chopping an onion anyway.
But you’re loving how serene everything feels with the two of you prepping and dicing, thumps of knives on wood intertwining in sound before you laugh at his crying over the pesky vegetable. Maybe if he wore contacts instead of specs, he’d be better off.
Not that his choice of eyewear is what you’re complaining about. But those glasses paired with the cream tees he’s been wearing? There will be hell to pay as soon as you get a chance at revenge.
Your pot is set to boil for a bit, so you finally rest against the counter and start a timer on his microwave. “Go ahead,” you gesture to your very handsome cooking partner. “You can sit now.”
“Huh? We’re not done yet.”
“Oh.” Blinking, you tilt your head in confusion because you could’ve sworn you heard him yawn a couple times. “You aren’t tired?”
“I am,” he says before squeezing his eyes, rapid blinks to follow. “But I’m fine here.”
You toss and turn the food around, sprinkling a little more seasoning and hearing the bubbles and fizzes. When you stir a little more, a sudden thought occurs, halting your movements and spinning you around,
“Are you staying there to watch my ass.”
Yoongi’s slow smile gives everything away, but he also makes up for the blatant staring.
“Can’t deny that’s one of the things.” Pushing off the sink, he stands right next to you, slotting a hand behind your neck and angling you for a kiss. “But I meant it earlier. I just…”
You’re completely silent as you watch him slide his eyes from your face to the sizzling food. Whatever he’s thinking about, you’re gonna give him all the room to talk.
“Just like being where you are.”
How you went from almost running out of his door to here, you aren’t quite sure. But you’re grateful for that split second of him deciding to fight for the two of you instead of against, because you really were going to leave.
And you may have taken much, much longer to even try going back.
Your voice is barely heard over the aromatic smell and fizzle, “Good thing I like having you around.” When he smiles again, you let out a breath of a giggle, going back to shuffling the pan around and tilting your head to the fridge. “I put some fruit in there if you wanna eat that, too.”
“I’m down.”
“K.”
Your food is ready soon enough, and the two of you eat while talking about easy topics. Like work and your workplace dynamics, what Yoongi’s team has been working on at the studio.
At one point, your curiosity about the album release party grows from something he says. “Speaking of. The party’s on Friday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I thought so,” you deflate, setting your bowl down on the table. “Sorry he can’t go.”
“Huh?”
Your body stills. “Wait. Did he not say anything? About his trip being extended?”
So much for nothing in his life being wrong. From the lost look on his face, you may have given him another reason to fold back in on himself. “No.. No, he didn’t.”
Both of you sit in silence.
This could be nothing. Right? That means your brother is confident he can make it so there’s no point in telling Yoongi he’s gonna miss it. Or maybe he’s not trying hard enough and then not being able to say it to his face?
“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “I thought he told you.”
“It’s okay.” Clearly it’s not. “Not much to do about it now.”
“Yoongi… What if he knows?” At your own question, you stiffen, curling into a proverbial ball. Fear and the sick backfire of fibbing has your mouth going drier than desert air. “What if he actually knows?”
Setting down his chopsticks, Yoongi looks your way, eyes unreadable behind his specs. “If he did, do you think he’d leave us alone?”
He’s got a point. “Guess not.”
“Mm.” Flicking his eyes to the window, he adjusts uncomfortably in his chair. “And I dunno if I mentioned this, but.. He thinks I got back with my ex.”
“Fuck, really?”
“That’s the real reason why he hasn’t been talking to me. Maybe he thinks she’s gonna be there on Friday.”
“Oh.” Your shoulders sag, and sag. Not owning up to your relationship is one thing; Yoongi having to dwell in his previous relationship is another. “Is that… worse?”
“Kinda.” Yoongi’s eyes fall. “Much worse.”
“Shit.” Reaching across wood, you close your hand around his fingers for support. It’s the only thing you can think to do. At least, it’s what you would want if you were in his shoes. “I think you should tell him she won’t be.”
A million seconds later, Yoongi thankfully agrees. “Yeah, I will.”
You feel better. Somewhat. At least a little less nauseous about the possibility of your brother knowing.
But it still sucks knowing that he’s actively avoiding Yoongi because of an ex he used to have.
How bad was it back then if this is the case? What exactly happened? Is this why Yoongi went radio silent on you for weeks?
It seems like he doesn’t even wanna talk about her. So you won’t pry just yet, as much as you wanna know every single thing she’s done wrong so you can hound her through every timeline in existence.
Instead, you talk about a much better subject,
“We should feed my cat now.”
And you quickly laugh at the saucy glint in Yoongi’s eyes.
—
—
Everything is set where it needs to be. Sugar’s food and water fill their respective bowls, your shoulder leans into Yoongi’s good side, and his arm rests around your back as he’s propped up by his banged up doorway.
You remember the first time you saw him lean against the wood like this. Only that time, you were a shell of a girl, waiting with shaky breaths and shaken confidence to hear his response to your inappropriate request.
Who would’ve thought that you’d be on the same side as him all these months later? In his arms, resting a head on his warm chest?
When you let out a short chuckle, Yoongi turns to your smile. “Hmm?”
“Nothing,” you wisp out. “Just thinking about us.”
His fingers press into your side a fraction more, and you can feel him lift his head again. “Me, too.”
Umm.
You can say things like that. He isn’t allowed!
You’re about to set some one-sided rules before your gift pops out of the bushes a few feet away.
“My baby!” you quietly call, leaving Yoongi’s side to crouch down. “Come here, love. You hungry?”
She cautiously makes her way over, sniffing your hand when you leave it outstretched. After careful consideration, the little one nudges your palm, letting you glide fingers down her back as she approaches her bowls.
“You’re so tiny,” you observe with slight pity. “We’ll get you well fed in no time—”
“Hey, Sugar! Oh, is this her? She’s gorgeous, no wonder!”
Huh? Sugar?
Who else knows the cat’s name already?
Your neck almost strains when you look up to see who’s talking. When you notice an older lady donning a really comfy, fluffy robe, you feel like it looks super familiar before you stand.
“Hi,” you greet before introducing yourself, extending your hand and shaking the woman’s soft, delicate fingers. “Sorry if we were too loud.”
“Call me Miss Dion. And you weren’t too loud this time, sweetie,” she says with a wink, glancing down at the kitty eating what you laid out. “Was just comin’ out to water my plants so it’s good to see you’re here, too. Looks like he finally got some sense back in that head of his.”
“I’m standing right here, you know.”
“Oh, I know!”
Back? How long has she known about you? Do her and Yoongi actually converse regularly? Their banter is… Really adorable.
It’s making you fall even more in love with the man biting his cheek in amusement.
Wait.
Is Yoongi Sugar?
That is so fucking cute you could cry.
“I’m back to take care of this guy,” you explain with a head tilt. “And the little one, of course.”
It’s when you say this that Miss Dion notices the bandages on Yoongi’s face, concern pushing down her brows. “What happened to you, young man?”
“Nothing to worry about.”
“You sure? I got some ointment in my kitchen somewhere—”
“It’s all good—”
“We’ll take it,” you cut him off, not looking but feeling his stare on your face. “How much do we owe you?”
“Oh, don’t you worry about that.” With a snuff at Yoongi and a smile your way, Miss Dion heads inside to fetch a bottle.
In the meantime, you give your lover a quiet stare before bending down to run your hands over soft fur.
“Papa Sugar is gonna need that so he can’t argue,” you coo to your cat, cheekily ignoring Yoongi’s sputtering puff of air above your head.
“Papa Sugar? Really?”
You glance up to his smile with a mischievous one of your own. “What, you wanna be Sugar Daddy instead?”
The swirl in your belly is instant. Because Yoongi can only look out into the distance, biting his lip and failing to hide his grin.
Sigh. If only he didn’t have those injuries across his face. You’d push him back into the door and slam it shut if it was any other day.
Patience, patience, patience.
Those hits aren’t gonna heal with just one round of gauze.
When you have to replace the cotton patches, at least you’ll have something to help.
—
—
It’s not until you’re about to tuck in for the night that Yoongi approaches your side of the bed. Judging by the headphones slung around his neck, he’s about to work, so you assume he’s just coming to give you a kiss goodnight.
But after he does exactly that, he asks you a question that warms your chest,
“Where’s your keys.”
“In there,” you motion to the nearest wall, bag propped right under his windowsill. “Inside pocket, I think.”
Yoongi bends with a prolonged grunt, slowly rummaging until he finds your jangling keyring with its charms. When he grabs it, he silently sits on the edge up against your stomach, body heat permeating your tee while he fiddles with the clasps.
God, you’re so in trouble. You know exactly what he’s doing.
Unlike the last time he offered you complete access to his place, this time he didn’t even hesitate. And the way he secures a key amongst the loop, it’s his silent way of cementing permanence.
That’s not another key for you to borrow.
Because that key is yours.
—
—
continued in angel, pt. 2
pitstop inbox before pt2!! | join the server!
a/n: holy crap we're doing it we are actually back in the main storyline?! how do we feel right now because i am over the damn moon diving into this story again. here's a slight pitstop before you make your way over to part two (THE CONTINUATION IS IN A REBLOG!) so take a breather before heading into the resttttttt
++ feedback box:
⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like!
⇥ here!
++ more links:
⇥ masterlist
⇥ three tangerines masterlist
a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it yet, so we'll keep it goin!
note goal: since we're back in main storyline, upping the goal! 1,000 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tan14 will be dropped as soon as it's done! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
title: angel (m)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)
series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2 | fugue pt. 3 | fugue pt. 4
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: right before he leaves, your brother’s conversation makes your heart stop. and it forces you to make a decision that you need to stick to, no matter what the future holds.
note: it’s been.. two years since the last main storyline update. many things have happened since then, i’ve learned more about myself, and touched more grass than ever. but we’re finally back to our scheduled tangerine programming, and it feels so surreal. incredibly grateful to everyone that has stayed, and welcome to all of you that are new to the 3tan universe!
note 2: also, happy birthday to @somebodydoesluv, @al3ejandra, and anyone else who is celebrating around this time! may you all celebrate a prosperous and healthy year around the sun.
warnings: how it starts LOL, language, explicit scenes, angst, tension, overthinkers overthinking, sibling fights, abandonment mentions, yoongi in those gd glasses again, jimin…?, obligatory kissing warning, everyone being a ride or die i’m weeping, we give the yoongi the business oops, ermm did i say angst, crying, hand holding since it’s a warning now, weapon mentions, wound mentions, yoongi on the phone :), blanket kicks incoming, feelings at an all time peak, fluff??, bro best bro, yoongi in tanks….., vmin best vmin, reader is so strong, but both siblings just need hugs man😩, studio………. time……?, things get so nasty i was blushing y’all ngl
explicit warnings: under the cut and dear god help me lmao
mood: off my face - justin bieber ; ojitos lindos - bad bunny
drop date: july 14th, 2026, 7:17pm est
word count: 25.5k…….. :’)))
explicit warnings: cursing, thigh riding, cowgirl, oral (m rec), naughty studio time(??), couch sex, rough sex, giving yoongi the business, bold as fuck reader, choking, spanking, penetrative sex, kissing deserves to be here too lol, alexa play no hands by waka flocka, deep throating, hair/head tugging, nipple play, yoongi in that gd tank, yoongi in those gd glasses, teasing, titty fucking hello!!!!, stripping while he watches…. yeah, missionary, sub!3tanyoongi?????, scratching, multiple orgasms, protected sex, emotional sex, the glasses.. stay on??, good god they’re so hot i’m blushing
—
—
It’s morning when Jimin gets a call.
Shifting in sheets that aren’t his, he sleepily blinks once before eyeing the blue light with a squint, wondering who dares wake him up before his natural rise. What time even is it anyway? It’s gotta be an ungodly hour if his circadian rhythm is disturbed.
Still, he grabs his cell from the nightstand, flinching at the movement behind him and inwardly slinging out curses.
Because waking him up is one thing.
But if anyone disturbs Taehyung he’s gonna give them hell—
Min Yoongi: Incoming Call
Shit.
Jimin yanks the covers off, rushing out of bed and snapping Tae awake anyway. For what? Don’t fucking know, but they’re ready. Wherever. Whatever. They already stayed up clutching their phones until they physically couldn’t keep their eyes open.
Because as much as Yoongi assured him nothing would happen, Jimin still couldn’t let go of his car keys.
Answering slow, he feels his chest winding and winding, eyes locked with Taehyung while they both wait on edge, “…Yoongi?”
“Yeah.”
Thank the fucking stars.
Yoongi’s okay. He’s on the line. He made it to morning or whatever fucking time it is, and he’s doing exactly what he said he would.
And it’s enough, enough, enough.
Burns zing up the corners of Jimin’s eyes, and he swipes hard as Taehyung moves, likely to hear what’s happening and even more likely to just be by his side.
Jimin is grateful for either one. But he tries to keep composure as he croaks, “You better have woken me up for a reason.”
The slight hum on the line induces a wobbly smile. “You slept?”
“Fuck you,” Jimin shakily laughs, wiping liquid relief from an eye before Taehyung’s thumb brushes tenderly over the other. His gaze is thankful while continuing, “We did but not much.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Sniffling, Jimin walks to Tae’s door, letting him into the hallway first and finally drinking in the sight of his ass in those sweats. Because he can finally function like a normal, smitten loser again. “We’ll come over so we can—”
“No need.”
“What?” Nope. Back to panic mode. And judging from his boyfriend’s posture, Taehyung has backpedaled into that, too. “What do you mean no need?”
There’s a slight pause on the line, and small noises make their way through the speaker. It sounds like bedsheets, but it also sounds like…
“She’s still sleeping.”
Oh.
Oh, shit.
A tidal wave of relief crashes into Jimin’s ducts as he hangs his head, palming his face caught in a heavy tide of emotion. When he turns, Taehyung fairs no better, his eyes red and fingers wiping at a perfect, perfect cheek. One of them sniffles, but Jimin can’t tell if it’s him or not, because his vision is blurry and his heart is beating, beating, beating again.
Whether you know it or not, whatever you did last night may have just changed Yoongi’s entire life.
Because Jimin knows this man through and through. Years of picking up his habits and tells didn’t amount to nothing. It’s how he was able to sense exactly when to intervene, and how he knew exactly what that hauntingly hollow tone in Yoongi’s voice meant when he busted in that day.
The tone he hears now? The man that just spoke on the line?
That is a Min Yoongi so in love he can’t even hide it over the phone.
Fuck.
Gathering himself, Jimin squeaks out, “I… I’m glad you…” What the fuck does he say? Every thought jams in his throat so hard he has to hand the phone off.
Thankfully, Taehyung perfectly continues his thoughts, voice scratching rocks under a waking river, “We’re glad you’re both safe.”
“Mm.”
“So when’s the wedding?”
Jimin huffs through a fresh batch of tears, clearing his face before grinning at Tae very seriously awaiting an answer. Honestly, at this point? It’s not far-fetched. Jimin’s seeing your future clearer than his present, and maybe he will be a fun uncle sooner than he thinks.
If only Yoongi would just get the fucking talk with your brother over with.
But Jimin understands the hesitation. If he were in that same position, there’s no telling when he would be courageous enough to stand up to the guy. There’s a reason he’s quick to command a room, and his lifelong mission to protect his younger sister made him grow up a lot faster than everyone else.
Still… Yoongi just deserves to be happy. And you’re the very obvious answer to helping with that.
As much as he may have wanted some chances of his own, Jimin is grateful you found your way into his best friend’s heart. Not just anyone is invited inside, and even less people can truly be allowed to stay.
And you’re probably the only one that has permanent residence.
“You guys should get some sleep.”
Taehyung pouts right on cue, and Jimin can’t fight those sleepy, droopy eyes. “You didn’t answer me.”
Cute as fuck! He must be stopped. Taking the phone, Jimin speaks into the line fully recovered, shooting his cheeky partner a teasing glare, “We will if you get some, too.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Got some things to do at the studio—”
“No!” They reject together, both equally as appalled because what the fuck kinda answer is that?
“After what happened last night? Are you crazy?”
“What happened to spending time with her? Men!”
“He’s going on a business trip, I can’t lose to him.”
“So what?” Tae asks before they both share an even further confused look. Yoongi may be a lovesick fool but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be a dumbass! “You’re just gonna leave her alone?”
There’s a sigh on the line before Jimin plants a hand on his hip. “Not just that. You gotta rest, too, bro. If she doesn’t tell you to take it easy or at least get checked—which she will—we’re going over there to annoy you.”
“You serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious.” Jimin cocks his head and leans closer to the phone. “At least rest easy for the next couple days. Especially if you have all this time to see each other.”
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. Your brother is leaving for his trip and Yoongi caught some unfortunate hits to his ribs. The dude basically has a free pass to spend the whole week with you, and he’s not even taking full advantage of it? Oh, the things Jimin has to say about the thin line of work ethic and relationship effort.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about it for a long time,” Taehyung cuts in before Jimin can pop off, walking away into the living room.
It’s fine. Let him figure out that you aren’t a woman he can just leave. Frankly? That would tickle Jimin to no end to see Yoongi folding his plans so fast just to be with you.
But he spares him the tirade only because you’re fast asleep right next to him. “Thank you for calling, man.”
“Said I would.”
“I know.”
Because above all else, Jimin is happy to hear that voice. Even if it’s obvious he’s a little banged up from last night, it’s still Yoongi. In one piece. That’s all Jimin wanted, and he can’t thank you enough,
“Don’t overwork yourself, and stay with her as long as you can.”
There’s a small laugh on the other end. “I plan on it, Chim.”
And Jimin catches on to why. “I’m holding you to that then.”
—
—
Dawn breaks through open blinds, stretching its orange tint across a clean, spotless table.
You don’t know what got you up so early. But when you peer into the kitchen, you tell yourself you woke up right on time.
Because seeing Yoongi when you’re wide awake is better than any dream you’ll ever have.
Not because of his appearance, even though the sight of him sends a pang through your chest. No. It’s the way he’s quietly prepping a morning meal, using the arm on his better side that’s not sporting a nasty hit to the ribs, without you even asking.
Bits of sunlight dance right out of your eyes.
The effort. The consideration. This man shouldn’t be lifting a finger, yet here he is cooking before you even left his bed. Isn’t this the same man that got caught up in a fight hours ago? Isn’t this the same man you almost walked out on with a frozen heart?
Yes. But he’s also the same man that loves you. And you still can’t grasp that concept in any of the fingers playing with his tee you borrowed.
“Hi,” you whisper, telling him a thousand things.
To which he regards before smiling soft, voice travelling over linoleum and circling around your heart, “Morning, doll.”
Damn. You hear it. Yoongi’s sore as hell.
But instead of getting into that right away, you silently take residence by his side. Because this moment feels too delicate, and you admire his willingness to take care of you unprompted. You didn’t even know you’d eat before going back home.
With a hand warming his back, you wait until Yoongi’s done tossing food on the stove to peck his morning-chilled cheek. “Thank you for cooking,” you murmur, admiring those beautiful brown eyes. “Sleep okay?”
“Cus of you,” your lover softly responds, eyeing your lips before gliding back up to your gaze. “You?”
Ugh. He’s gotta know those glasses are so unfair. They’ve gotten you repeatedly before, and they’re certainly getting you now.
But you can’t help but deflate at the cuts behind those rims, while knowing there are even more bruises hiding underneath his oversized tee. How is Yoongi cooking right now? How is he even awake? “Same.”
“Good.”
These instant, deep shivers at his deeper morning voice will never, ever go away. But anything you wanna do about them isn’t important right now. Right now, you need to make sure Yoongi is either okay, or finds a way to get better.
Sliding your hands down the slopes of his chest, you delicately rest one on his ribs. “Does it still hurt?”
Yikes. That wince is enough. But Yoongi doesn’t shy away from your touch, and you appreciate the way he stays honest. “It’s sore. But I should be good.”
“You gonna get it checked?”
There’s a slight upward tilt of his lips. “Not right now.” At least the honesty persists, as much as you don’t want him following the typical manly response to hospital visits. “But I will if you want me to.”
“Please go,” you gently urge, lest you disturb the soft morning dew before it melts with the sunrise. “For me?”
Only sizzles from the stove fill the space until Yoongi nods, and his voice is just as low and tender, “I’ll go after work.”
Oh. “You’re working today?”
Just like breakfast, you didn’t expect this, either. Frankly, you figured neither of you were gonna even think about work, much less go. Sure, he’s due a hospital visit and you owe some friends immediate explanations for your absence. But other than that, shouldn’t Yoongi be resting?
Does his craft truly mean that much?
Well, shit. You gotta respect his work ethic, that’s for damn sure. Because you would sequester yourself to your bedroom and have endless dates with your television if you were sporting a good jab or two. This music thing must mean more to Yoongi than you previously thought. And who are you to step on that dream?
Suddenly, all thoughts and concerns flee from the kiss on your cheek.
“I’ll stay if you stay,” he says, turning to move the pan and scrunching his face with a grunt. Fuck.
“I…” Shit, you were gonna go back to the house anyway. And from Yoongi’s smartass smirk, you can tell he already knew that. “Just need to check on him, too. And he doesn’t have a car right now, so. I should at least give him a ride.”
“Figured.” In a move so domestic your head spins, Yoongi turns your body and gently pats your butt. “Now go sit. Let’s eat and figure this out.”
—
—
As you devour a flawless meal and clean your dishes, you plan out the day. You’ll head home and check on your brother while Yoongi heads to the studio, and then you’ll rendezvous with your friends to hang out until he’s done with work. They’re already lighting up your phone like no one’s business—especially Yuri.
Yoongi flicks the sink off before you both head to his bedroom, and you melt at the way he slowly wraps his arms around your front halfway there, all four of your legs slowing to close the rest of the distance.
What’s he doing? This is joyfully new, but you have a pretty tight deadline. Warming his forearm and your own cheeks, you chuckle out, “We have to hustle, old man.”
“You hustle me all the time,” he accuses into your shoulder blade, kissing its ridge and making you reconsider walking out the door entirely. “Lemme have this.”
Your second laugh is more subdued, and you’re right between his bed and desk when you lift both hands to hold him close. “You have everything I got,” you wisp into his skin, planting your lips once, twice before you feel his arms press further in. “So this is nothing.”
Seconds and silence slide by, the delicate veil of early morning still hovering around the room. When Yoongi doesn’t say anything, you make to turn and face him.
But you’re stopped before your heart skips.
“I could stay like this all day,” he admits, voice so low it rumbles through your bones. “And it’d be perfect.”
“What, you don’t wanna see my face?” You joke with a giggle. “Rude, but that’s fine.”
Yoongi only buries his nose further, his glasses sliding against your skin peeking from his shirt. “I’m much braver right here, doll.”
Oh.
The leap your heart does is more of a dive, plummeting into the seafoam swirling around your feet. All the words you want to respond with jump off right after, leaving you with nothing but the clouds in your eyes.
You don’t quite know what he means by that. But it feels like those six words hold the weight of a thousand, so you simply let another kiss on his smooth forearm linger. “Do you want me to go with you?”
A puff of laughter warms you right through and, despite his earlier admission, Yoongi does slowly spin you around.
And when you follow, you realize you’re much braver when you aren’t facing him, too.
“It’s not that, babe,” he says through a dashing curve. “But the offer was cute.”
“I take it back then.”
“Damn!”
Both of your laughs whoosh out and collide, sweeping as Yoongi pinches your side and you flinch towards the bed. “You fucker—!”
Before you know it, your back hits a comforter before a weight presses your stomach, emotions clashing as you’re elated and shy and immediately concerned for your boyfriend’s side. “Baby, be careful—”
Lips capture yours, sucking up your warning before a hand slides under your head. Sighing, you arch into his chest, feeling the weight of his chains slip across your breasts.
Euphoria isn’t an adequate enough word to describe how you feel. Where there used to be flutters in your ribcage now reside strong, powerful wing beats, gusts of want and desire lifting you off the ground and launching you into clear skies. Starlight of every color exists within each kiss you share, and your fingers feebly grab his tee to keep you from falling back down to earth.
“If we don’t go now,” Yoongi rasps before sliding his mouth against yours, “We’re never going anywhere again.”
“I know,” you whisper, willingly letting him kiss you once more, “Is that a promise?”
“Fuck, I wish.”
You do, too. But you know you’re running out of time for what you need to do. And weren’t you just saying you had to respect his aspirations? Shit, you really do need to snap out of it. “Come on,” you order with a pat to his chest. “We have all week to do this. We got time.”
Turns out, you’re still amongst the heavens. The way Yoongi’s looking at you? This is the closest you’ll ever get to being held by an angel.
Did he get more handsome overnight? Or is it the light in his eyes sustained since his confession in the kitchen? You don’t quite know, and you may never pinpoint why, but the tug he has on your heart spans space and time.
And you’ll run through both forever to keep meeting him again and again.
Burns prick your eyes, but he mercifully stands before he can catch any evidence of your yearning.
Just like that, the two of you bounce back to getting ready, with him sliding notebooks and headphones in a backpack while you change into your own clothes. As you sling your bag over a shoulder, he reaches for the closest hoodie, and you wordlessly make your way to the front door.
You really do hope he gets looked at today. But just like the calm after a storm, you want to encourage him gently rather than shove him out. At least he seems receptive to your gentle suggestions.
But after you ask one more time and he simply nods, you lower your eyes to his kicks. “Sorry if I’m nagging. I’d just worry less if you went right away, that’s all.”
“You aren’t nagging, babe.” Your freshly bloomed lover reaches out to hold your wrist, smoothing a rough thumb over your skin. Fucking hell, you can’t help but frown at the gashes and cuts marring his knuckles. “I’ll go as soon as I can.”
Not just his hands, but his face. His ribs. And maybe other places you haven’t even seen yet.
You don’t wanna leave his side.
But you have to head out before your brother leaves. Things need to get patched up before he flies out into more stress, and you owe him an apology for walking out when he was still aching. Based on Yoongi’s physical state? Your brother could be hiding some big wounds and you didn’t even wanna talk to him.
However. Was last night necessary? Absolutely. You cannot entertain the possible outcomes had you not tried hard enough to get through Yoongi’s door. His eyes were so dulled, his hands felt so cold. What would have happened if you didn’t force yourself inside?
Why was that guitar smashed to pieces?
This is also why you refuse to leave. So many questions, so many things you still don’t know. Like what all happened when you were separated? And how in the hell is this man in love with you?
“I don’t wanna go,” you confess, instantly encased in his arms and warmth. “I’d much rather keep kissing you.”
“True,” he says with a resigned huff, shifting his glasses with an adorable nose scrunch. If only he didn’t have so many little red lines of conflict on his face. “But we both have stuff to take care of, so let’s get all that done first.”
“Ugh, fine.” Your groan is more teasing than serious, and Yoongi’s laugh is nothing but understanding.
Damn. You still feel it. You really don’t wanna go. Be it the rawness of last night still on your skin, or the confessions still on your tongues, you just wanna stay by his side. “Sorry,” you breathe out, lacing your fingers to pepper love along his strong, reddened ridges. “I’m serious. I don’t wanna leave you right now.”
Walking out of Yoongi’s door just doesn’t feel right. Even if he’s right there and will be following you out. Is this feeling normal? Are you supposed to feel this tightly woven to someone? Because the stitching between your hearts has only gotten stronger in the tempest of last night, as if you bonded together just to hold on for dear life.
Maybe that’s exactly what happened. And it’s exactly why you can barely take one step out of his place.
“Then don’t.”
Not one second passes before your chin is held, and lips slide so tenderly across yours that they may as well melt into your touch. Your reaction is quickly swooped into his mouth, and everything falls away as you let him seize your every thought. Lightning from last night zips out of your limbs, your toes, your fingers clasping his loose tee.
You might just cry where you stand.
How have his kisses gotten even better? How have you never felt this way even though you’ve done this far more times than you were ever supposed to? It should be impossible, and yet, this man finds even more ways to astound you.
Yoongi slips a hand over your cheek, giving one more beautiful push of his lips as he confesses, “I don’t wanna leave you, either.”
And your breath stutters onto his features. “You, too?”
Slow, he kisses your cheek, the clear rim of his specs skimming your nose. When he draws back, you look right into his eyes, wondering why he’s watching your mouth instead.
“Me, too.” Yoongi kisses your other side with a quiet peck. “Fuck, me, too.”
You fucking hate what you have to do, but you don’t have a choice.
With one last lingering kiss, you both gather enough courage to set out and do what you must.
—
—
Your house is already a flurry of activity as you enter to see your brother in the kitchen, packing his leather duffle that’s a constant companion on his trips.
Of course. The memory of him purchasing the lavish accessory pops into your head every time you watch him scurry around, dimples ever present on his proud cheeks. It’s almost enough to make you smile yet again.
But you can’t when the same face is currently scratched to hell. Just like Yoongi’s, if not worse.
Fuck, is he really gonna travel looking like that?
“Hey,” he rasps out, still fighting off slumber. “You’re back earlier than I thought.”
“Wanted to check on you before we left.” Fuck, your voice sounds like it’s being forced through a clogged pipe. Loosen the hell up! “And dude. Put some bandaids on, yeah?”
“Yeah, just give me a sec. Making sure I have everything before my ride gets here.”
“Huh?” He got a ride? You’re here now so you can take him to the airport. “You sure you don’t need me to drive you?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. I didn’t know you were coming back.”
Shit. His body seems just as angular as it did last night. Which, quite frankly, could still be from what went down in the lot.
Because even though you see both men banged up, you suddenly realize you don’t actually know what all transpired.
After all, there wasn’t much talk of it after you walked into the tempest of Yoongi’s living room.
Of course, you aren’t gonna bring it up just this second. There are other things to ask about and make sure of first. “Wallet? Phone? Passport?”
“Yup, yup, uhh.. Yup.”
Zippers sling in the quiet morning air as you continue, “And you’re coming back on Friday, right?”
“Oh.. Nah.” When you start crossing the kitchen, your brother hauls his leather bag over his better shoulder. Honestly, no one would be able to tell the other one’s bruised with his suit on. That thing damn well covers everything except the cuts on his face and hands. “Saturday.”
You pause in your journey to the medicine cabinet. “Wait.. Saturday? The release party’s on Friday.”
“Yeah.. I know.”
What the fuck? That’s bullshit they’re keeping him longer than they have to. Struggling to understand how corporate can keep your brother on a leash and get away with it, you urge, “Tell them to at least let you go home a day early. Don’t you wanna support your friends?”
“You mean Yoongi?”
A zing of terror zips through your eyes, freezing every vein in an instant.
The fuck was that question? Never mind. Stay calm stay calm stay fucking calm. “Uhh, yeah, he’s one of them? But the other guys, too, right? I know you care about them and this is huge.”
Mercifully, your sibling just shakes his head and waves you off. “Don’t you think I already tried? I don’t wanna miss it but I don’t have a choice. Conference schedule is pretty tight and I’m heading the panel on Friday.”
“Is it in the morning? You can fly out after—”
“Why are you fighting so hard?”
“Why aren’t you fighting harder!”
Okay, what in the hell is happening right now? Screw optics and how this must look for you, your brother needs to be there. Him and Yoongi are the tightest of friends, the most ride or die duo you’ve ever seen. You can’t picture a timeline where he misses this monumental moment, and it’s starting to really upset you that he’s barely trying.
“You think I’m not fighting for it?”
“I certainly don’t think you’re trying enough—”
“Alright, you know what?” Hard steps surge forward as you stand rigid, a duffle hastily dumped onto tile. “You don’t know what I’ve tried. You don’t even know if I even told him yet.”
Fucking shit. You hold his stare before turning away, tossing out the idea of bandages entirely and searing footsteps into the hallway—
“Or do you.”
Before icing over with the unforgiving frost of zero gravity space.
Slow, you turn, not quite facing him but not backing down, either. “…Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You talkin’? What else has he been doing to you?”
Oh. Fuck that.
Doing to you?
Fuck all of this. This is too much to handle right now and you know you’re gonna snap if he keeps pushing because you are not having this conversation right before he leaves. You’ve already thought about this before, right? You cannot fuck with his head right before business trips because he needs to be on and locked in.
But now he’s fucking with your temper and those are some choice fucking words pulled out of his ass.
You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately threatened this man to his face and meant it before, and it tears a sharp corner of your heart, “You better be very careful. With whatever you wanna say next.”
The air proves too thick to slice. While your body stands aflame, your brother is iced over, brimming with an energy that damn near takes physical form. “All I’m saying is? I find out some fucking bullshit is going on—”
No no no, not now.
Reacting fast is your only instinct, brain haywire and fizzling fizzling boiling. Harsh, you spin on your heel and shout the first thing you can think of, “Oh, come on—”
“You better hope to god you’re ready for what’s coming—”
“Stop!” Fuck fuck fuck, this is so frustrating because your head is exploding and your body is screaming to just tell him already. Fuck the consequences at this point this is ludicrous.
Doing to you? Yoongi? How dare he speak about his best friend like that how dare he accuse him without outright saying the words all you have to do is tell your brother how wrong he’s got it.
But you can’t be the one. Yoongi said he would, and he probably took months to get to that point of strength—and healing, from what you can tell.
This is between them. Them. You have to honor that, as much as you wanna just confess everything now and deal with it yourself.
But goddamn your brother is pulsing with anger and it’s leaking into your own charged air.
What does he think is happening? Does he think Yoongi’s just, what, playing you? He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. Yoongi’s been nothing but the best thing that’s ever happened to you and shit your heart hurts because…
Your brother is valid in thinking that.
How foolish. Didn’t you guard your heart from Yoongi for the longest? Didn’t everything start because you figured you knew who he was because of his reputation? You got him all wrong, too. So how can you be mad at your brother for doing the same?
Fuck, think. Just think before someone gets hurt.
Because if you aren’t careful, someone—or multiple someones—will get hurt in seconds. You have to bear the pain alone right now. To protect them both, you have to keep your trembling mouth shut.
And? You have to admit that something isn’t fair here. Not to you, not to Yoongi, but to him. Last night was rough as fuck but, while you both got to have raw, beautiful closure, the one standing in front of you had to go to sleep in an empty house.
So chill the fuck out.
Breathing to cool down, you tense and loosen, tense and loosen. “I get it. You’re angry, and you have a lot going on. But,” you bite down on your lip to keep going. “We’re talking about something else. We’re talking about you, and I’m still pissed you even let those guys goad you into a fight. What are we, twelve?”
Seething, your sibling takes the switch of pace. But it is not what you want to hear. “Are you seri—? What the hell was I supposed to do? That son of a bitch grabbed you—”
“I know,” you recoil. “Don’t tell me like you were there, because you weren’t.”
Finally—finally—those angry lines in his face vanish.
But they make way for something much worse than anger. Because your older brother, someone that’s been there for you your whole life..
Looks absolutely stricken over the one time he wasn’t.
Damn it.
Regretful, you drop your shoulders in exhaustion and quiet compromise. When you continue, your voice is much softer, “But I told you: they were. Your friends, they were there because they knew you wanted that. Jimin got me away, Yoongi took me home and stayed.”
You really have got to stop saying his name like you love him. It could start becoming too obvious.
Shuddering, you shift your weight, folding your arms and shrinking into yourself.
That night, despite Yoongi’s best and most gentle efforts, still clings to where that loser touched you at Dalo. You hate that you haven’t gotten over it, and you loathe the way you still rub over the same spot. Over, and over. “What did you want him to do? Leave me here?”
“No.”
“Exactly. And he didn’t.” You adjust your stance again, making an impromptu gamble as you decide to let some truth leak out. Because your brother is owed at least this much. “And fine, you wanna know something? We do talk more because of it.”
Your brother’s head snaps up, and you brace. Because if you show any shred of weakness or hesitation, he’ll see right through your weak attempt to hide most of the truth,
“But don’t ever accuse him of doing anything to me. That was fucked up to say and you know it.”
“Fuck.” In agreement, he rubs his hair back. “It was. I’m sorry.”
“Trust me,” you swallow, hating that this is how things have to be for now. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s never.. Never done anything to me, anyway.”
It’s not a lie. Everything he’s done has been with you. For you. Because of you.
But your heart’s in anguish as it sinks. Because that expression on your older sibling’s face can only be one thing.
Pure. Utter. Relief.
Fire singes your eyes before you can quell the flame. It’s the hardest technical truth to swallow.
Sure, he doesn’t have anything to worry about as far as you being safe. And on top of that, he doesn’t have to worry about any fake shit because Yoongi confessed to you last night.
But as far as his best friend sleeping with and now dating his sister behind his back? That is still very much sitting right in the center of the table.
And now you’re starting to see just how fucked all three of you are as soon as you sit down to eat the truth.
But Yoongi said he’d be the one to tell, so he will.
This feeling is so fucking miserable, though.
In the end, your brother is effectively convinced, raking a hand across his head and sighing. “Jimin told me what all went down at Dalo, I just… Last night was… Fucked up.”
“Well, yeah.”
“No. See, this is just like what you said to me. You can’t say it like you were there.”
It’s your stomach’s turn to twist. “So? You were scratched and bruised to hell, and Y…” Shut up, shut up. You’re not supposed to know about the state of anyone else. “And you were… quieter.”
“Because of what happened, dude.”
You blink. “What… What happened?”
Your brother looks at you—really looks at you.
And suddenly, your gut flares in terror, storming in an instant across your abdomen.
“That bitch pulled something on us.”
Your heart.
It’s in freefall.
“Wait… What?” You can’t even form more than one syllable at a time, your legs turning gelatinous and knees starting to give out. “No… What are you…?”
What the fuck did he just say? That bitch pulled a what?
Your sibling slowly walks toward you once again, watching like he’s just waiting for you to say anything. Do anything.
But you’re a complete statue because all you can think about is the horror of something happening and the relief that nothing happened all at once.
Was Yoongi too scared to mention that part? Is this why he was holding back and shaking every time he reached out to touch you? Even this morning, he was so…
You’ve never seen him like that. Is this why?
Your mind is swirling and crashing, overlapping each passing thought and scream running through your head. “I’m so sorry,” you hitch out, “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Didn’t wanna scare you,” he sighs out. Putting both hands on his hips, your brother stops feet away, visibly still shook as he pierces wooden planks with his stare. “But he pulled it right before Yoongi… and if it weren’t…Fuck.”
Burns flare and slice through your eyes when he has to pause. What is he trying to say? Pulled what?
Before Yoongi what?
Your brother continues, and your throat tightens. “If it weren’t for some random ass sirens, I… Things could’ve been so different.”
What the fuck is happening. What the hell are you hearing?
“It was probably dumb as fuck. But I was so fucking angry,” he grits out, watery eyes crushed looking your way. “So fucking mad at how he was talking about you, I.. Walked right up to him and told him to fuck off.”
You can’t even breathe.
“I still feel it,” he quietly adds, fingers pressed against his side. “Right here.”
“Fuck,” you finally choke out, eyes on fucking fire.
“But all I knew was to keep you all safe,” he says, with hardened resolve and a wobbly chin. “And that’s exactly what I did. I did that shit, even if that meant—”
Tears fling out of your eyes, flowing hot down your cheeks because you wouldn’t want any of them to go out that way. Nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened and yet your body is acting as if something did and it hurts.
Your brother is there as soon as you crumple forward, letting you bury your head in his chest and sob your heart out. For him, for his friends, and for all the time you had with the man you love so, so dearly.
If anything happened to your brother before you came clean… If anything happened before you and Yoongi could even…
Suddenly, you feel equal weights of guilt. For running out on your brother. And for almost walking out on Yoongi.
You decide an apology is in order for both of them, and all the understanding in the world for Yoongi’s frosted demeanor as soon as you get him alone again.
And you are one hundred percent going to tell your brother everything once he’s back.
The tears cannot stop, and you’re sure you are crying unimpeded in a pressed and primmed suit. “I’m so sorry,” you keep repenting like a prayer. “This is all my fault.”
“No—”
“You almost—”
“Hey, stop.” He yanks you back, both of your faces soaked with saltwater. “What did I say before? I threw the first swing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But it led to all this, I just.. I just feel so fucking stupid.”
“Don’t. Hey, look at me.” Firm but gentle, he holds you at arm’s length, forcing you to face him. “Maybe we’re both stupid, but you weren’t the idiot. I was.”
You feel so many conflicting things in your soul.
What would you have done if Yoongi was in critical condition? What would you have done differently if your brother was instead? Are they the same? Are the two situations really so different anymore?
No they aren’t they aren’t they aren’t.
“Please don’t do that again,” you shake out. “Even if it was for me, if I ever lost you, I...”
“You know I can’t promise anything.” He furrows his brows when you eye him with anger and sadness. “But nothing like that is happening again. Especially with the same dudes.”
“Okay.”
A vicious tornado of emotions sends your whole body into agonizing pain. This isn’t what you expected at all, and it’s causing your limbs to lock at the bends. Too many scenarios are jangling about yet you can’t ask for specifics because that will just make it even more real.
A nightmare is somehow better once you know it ends with you waking up. “I’m… gonna need some time to process everything.”
“I know. And I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but… You deserve to know the things I get into.”
Ah.
The irony is not lost on you.
“At least, if they involve you. We learned our lesson. You were right to tell us off.”
God. You feel numb.
“Thanks,” you murmur, suddenly immensely tired. “I think I need more sleep.”
A blaring honk sounds outside the house, and you both flinch at the noise.
And your throat burns at the way your brother instinctively swept you behind his back.
When you realize what it is, you know what has to come next.
And he’s the first to react as he turns to face you again, “Alright. I’m heading out, just remember to go get my baby when she’s fixed, yeah?”
“Do you have to go?”
Wait.
The question seems to startle him as much as it does you.
How did you blurt it right out before even registering the words? Why does your heart clench at the sight of those eyes looking so pained?
Why does everything feel so shaky within these walls that were always your home?
“I do,” he says, voice tight. “I’m sorry.”
And why the fuck do you feel sad he’s leaving?
“No, no, it’s.. Of course you have to.” You can’t help the lump in your throat from bobbing, the regret in your limbs as they barely move at your side. “I dunno why I asked, I guess I just..”
There’s no response to your sniffle.
“Sorry for yelling,” you squeak out. “I just feel really queasy.”
For a lot more reasons than one.
“We all made it out,” your brother whispers. “That’s what matters.”
“Will you… Will you at least try to be back for the party?”
The man swallows with his brows knit tight, then attempts to crack the tiniest smile. “You know I will. That’s my guy.”
“Okay.” You nod, sniffling again. After what he just told you? You know he’ll do anything for the ones he loves. “See you there.”
Your brother rubs a comforting palm over your head before turning, heading for the door and grabbing his leather duffle.
When he stops to glance at you one more time, you give a little wave of your hand before watching the door click shut.
Chest caving as you collapse to the ground in tears.
—
—
The need to call Yoongi burns so harshly your fingers damn near set your top aflame.
But he’s at work, and you can’t fuck things up right when you’re approaching the finish line. You almost did with your brother, and that gave you twelve heart attacks in the span of minutes.
Still. Your chest aches so much that a thirteenth could very well be approaching. You don’t even realize you’re bracing the hallway wall for support until you try to stand, back sore and aching from bending so far for so long.
What did your brother mean to say about Yoongi? What did that coward pull on them? Do you even want to know what happened?
Fighting back tears, you reach down for your phone, shakily typing out a message only to erase it. Then again. And again.
And again.
Giving up, you forcefully swallow all your worries, cringing at the bitterness of the unknown and the burnt molasses of hidden truths.
It’s going to be okay. No matter what you think or imagine in your head, they made it out, they made it out, they are all alive.
That’s the only reason you can move forward, each step getting you from your room. To your bathroom.
And back again.
—
—
After showering, you feel lighter and refreshed, though the soreness between your legs has yet to leave.
But you wouldn’t want it any other way, as it’s another reminder of Yoongi’s apparent brush with survival. His broken living room spurned the creation of your bond, your devotion to him as he confessed before you gave him your utmost trust in his sheets.
The end is so close. As soon as this week is over, you’ll rip the last bit of peel from your pair of tangerines, baring all truths to your brother and facing the consequences.
Finally ready, you head to your car, opening your text threads with a plan: start slow.
Start with something that can be interpreted neutrally if anyone saw it on his phone screen, especially if your headstrong ex is in the room.
You [12:31pm]: how are you feeling?
Yoongi [12:34pm]: 1 Attachment
You close your door with brows furrowed.
Yoongi’s at the hospital?
That’s not what you expected at all.
Your chest swells with relief knowing he’s there, but you also wanna make sure he’s feeling okay. Especially his mental state after whatever the fuck your brother just dropped on you before leaving.
Goddamn, that’s going to gnaw at your brain until you find the right time and right amount of courage to ask about it. Because it’s very possible Yoongi won’t tell you.
Because it’s probably something he knows you won’t like.
Fuck.
You [12:34pm]: Loved an Attachment
You [12:34pm]: thank you for listening🤍 still sore?
Yoongi [12:35pm]: Yeah, but not bad. Just there.
Wait. He’s not at the studio. That means you can—
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you slowly say as you pull out into the street. “I’m driving now so this is easier.”
“Course. You going to Tae’s?”
“Maybe. I’m going to Yuri’s first.” You swallow, realizing that you didn’t tell him about what you let slip before driving over. “I.. Told her. About you.”
There’s a little bit of silence on the line, just some adjustments and muffled speaker sounds. “Sorry, just writing this down. What’s wrong with that?”
You huff through your nose. Gotta be those patient forms that always take forever to fill out. “Oh. Just more and more people knowing, is all.”
“Everyone’s gonna know eventually.”
You hold back a small smile. Because he’s right. “Yeah. I’m just tired of this feeling.”
“Like you’re hiding something.”
It’s your turn for silence. He doesn’t know how accurately that was played out today. The only answer you can provide is a curt, “Exactly.”
“Same.”
Wings beat around your heart again.
He wants this. Yoongi really, really wants this. And years ago, that outcome wouldn’t have even crossed your mind as an option.
“Thank you for going, baby.”
“The guys made me.”
You hum. “Which ones.”
After a pause, you hear a puff of amusement. “All of them at some point today, actually.”
All of them? Does that include your brother? Did they talk about the trip already?
Your laugh is bittersweet. “Well. Glad to know you can be forced by everyone else except me.”
“Hey, I was already gonna go because of you!” Yoongi quietly retorts, and you giggle at the pout in his words. “Just wanted to get a headstart on work first.”
You were right. He really does wanna go all out for his musical endeavors.
It’s extremely admirable, and wildly attractive, but it does come to a point. “As much as I love your passion, old man, I wanna keep you upright.”
He laughs soft into the line, and you think you can listen to that specific sound on an infinite loop. “That’s fair.”
“How long is it gonna take, you think?”
“Dunno. But I’ll keep myself busy until I’m out.”
Of course he will. You don’t doubt he won’t waste any time. Didn’t he bring journals in his backpack? You wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote ten thousand songs before being called in. “Just call me if you need anything, please?”
“Of course, babe.”
“Thank you,” you say with utmost sincerity. “If only my brother would be less stubborn and get checked, too.”
“He’ll probably do it once he gets there.”
“Did you convince him?”
“Nah. But once he knows I did, he’ll do it.”
“Figures.” You scoff. “Okay, I’m almost there. Let me know how it goes.”
“K. Bye, doll.”
You didn’t ask him what went down. But it’s not the time nor place, and you have plenty of chances this week to figure out when that would be—if at all.
“Talk soon.”
—
—
For a normally bustling household, Yuri’s house is quiet.
So it’s not shocking when you walk into the kitchen and see all your friends glance your way, slowly vacating their chairs with eyes never leaving your face. Even Reia is on high alert.
Did Yuri tell her? Did Yuri tell anyone else?
No. She’s a talker and loves spilling, but she promised. And when she promises something, you know you can trust her to keep it.
It’s what pours emotion in your voice as you meekly greet, “Hey, guys—”
A crushing hug closes your throat. Yuri’s the one that gets to you first, with Reia and Dominique waiting their turns to offer you healing, relieved embraces.
“What happened?”
“Scared us half to death.”
Dom puts you at arm’s length to give a once over, noting your face rubbed raw and eyes still a little bloodshot. Thankfully, her pupils hold more concern than disappointment. “You good?”
Your eyes wobble alongside your smile, and you think it’s enough proof. “More than that,” you still decide to whisper, and your heart beats again at her reaction.
“Thank god. I was ready to kick your ass if you weren’t.”
Heading up to Yuri’s room, you all wait until the door is swung back before mounting her canopy bed, sitting in a tight circle as you divulge everything.
Well. Almost everything.
You tell them that Yoongi is the one you’ve been seeing, how you went to check on him last night in a panic, and the terrifying reason why. When you mention the fight after the basketball game, all three of your friends erupt in questions, and you have to assure them everything turned out okay. Honestly, you also do this to assure yourself, too.
“So… Your brother’s just fine with all of this?” Reia asks, not noticing the tick of Dom’s jaw.
“Well,” you start with a higher pitch, earning a pair of groans. “He doesn’t exactly know yet—”
“Yup. He’s gonna murder him.”
“Yeah, should we say our condolences now or..”
“How long has this been going on?” Reia fires off another question that digs into your chest. “Was he the one you were seeing the whole time?”
“Yes,” you admit with a sigh. “I should’ve told you guys from the beginning, but. The whole thing just felt so delicate. But! We just started making things official recently, so..”
Dom turns your way. “Official how?”
Well. Here goes everything.
With a shaky breath, and lingering feelings from the time it happened, you reveal with watery eyes, “Yoongi… Told me he loves me.”
Both Yuri and Reia react in yelps, Dom’s gaze lowering as the girls reach to grab your hands.
Wait. What’s going on with her? She’s the one that knows the most, she’s the one that covered for you all those months ago. She has to be the one that is the least surprised at all this.
Blinking, you note to confront her about it later. Right now, you’re too focused on trying not to cry as your friends tumble out questions and support,
“He said it? Did you say it first or did he?”
“How did it happen! Oh, I’m so happy for you, babe—”
“Thank—thank you, Yuri,” you squeeze out as she hugs you close. “I couldn’t believe it, but he just.. Said it. We weren’t even doing anything, I was just.. Looking up what injuries he could have..”
And he confessed in the most Yoongi fashion he could have.
Looking back, it shouldn’t shock you at all. He’s always found ways to sweep you off your proverbial feet, so why would a confession plucked from the heavens be any different?
She lets you go before wiping her eyes, Reia and even Dom now sporting watery pupils, too.
“As much as I’m upset at you for not telling us, I’ve never been so happy for you.” When Yuri’s features crease in another sob, you sniffle along with the rest. “It’s been so long since you… And you really.. Fuck.”
You know what she’s trying to say, and the realization has your throat constricting so tight.
It’s been forever since you’ve had something like this, someone like this. When you and Jungkook were together, you told him that you loved him before he broke it off.
Sure, you bought the rings together, but he never uttered those words until years after when it didn’t even matter. And all your relationships after his were complete and utter bullshit, so you don’t think you ever even heard those three words and knew them to be true.
Yoongi was the first to ever say them so sincerely.
And that fact makes your ducts burn and burn.
And when Yuri finally speaks, it breaks the dam holding your real deluge back,
“I can’t think of anyone else that deserves to be loved more than you.”
All at once, everything streams out as you hunch forward. The pain of everything you’ve endured, the hopelessness of knowing you’d most likely end up alone, the excruciating prospect of a future that you never deemed bright, or peaceful, or comforting.
And to think that even this man could’ve been snatched away from you in a snap? Even more tears overlap with the ones you’re shedding, and you can’t even reach out to hug all three beautiful, angelic souls surrounding you with tight arms and sobs because your limbs lock at all bends.
It’s the exact release you need. All your friends supporting you, all the pent up anxiety of last night and today, the truth setting itself free in some capacity—all in the comfort of a plushie-laden bed you only doubted yourself in last time.
Everything’s gonna be alright. It has to be. You’re gonna fight for the ones you love, even if a war between them is inevitable.
It takes a few minutes of heavy silence for you all to separate, swiping and rubbing tears while letting out happy sniffles.
When you thank them for being understanding, they assure you it’s okay. And when you say you’re going to tell your brother soon, a force from the doorway has all of you leaping from lilac sheets,
“Tell him what?”
Jia stands firm with a laundry basket at her hip, and Yuri scoffs at her older sister for barging in. “A knock would’ve been nice!”
Fuck!
You can’t tell Jia of all people. If you spill anything about Yoongi, she’s one hundred percent going to tell your brother. They’re the same age, and run in pretty tight circles, so of course you are not going to risk it.
But you can tell her something else you’re going to tell your older sibling, so you fire out a half-truth,
“Tell him not to pick any other fights that could get him killed.”
Jia’s eyes zoom to your wrecked face, and she drops the laundry with haste before asking, “What happened? When? Tell me now.”
Huh. Maybe your brother has a type, if he’s still into Jia like he said before.
You feel a little spark in your chest as you let her know they all got in a scuffle after the basketball game, and another pang as she immediately abandons the room and clothes with a fierce declaration,
“I’m gonna kill them myself!”
“Don’t worry, I already hounded my brother!” You call out after her, sighing as Yuri shakes her head with a smile. “She gets like that when she’s really worried, huh.”
“Yeah..” Your friend leans to look around you, noticing the basket left alone on the ground. “And if she’s super fired up, she drops everything and doesn’t stop until it’s handled. Clearly.”
Maybe both older siblings really are similar.
The firestorm of an interruption seemed to break the tension in the room, with all of you finally relaxing and catching up. When they ask you questions, you answer what you can.
And when you divulge information that has your ears burning, their squeals and yells give you whole new reasons to live.
—
—
After a very comforting lunch Yuri’s mom cooked, you head to the bathroom when your phone suddenly vibrates through your palm.
Huh? That’s weird. You expect the name on your screen to be Taehyung, not Yoongi.
Not that it’s a bad thing. You’ve been waiting to hear from him, so this is a pleasant surprise.
Closing the door to the guest bathroom, you gaze at the calming sage decor with a smile. “Hi, how did it—”
“You’re coming over later, right?”
Oh, shit. Is he okay?
“Yes, baby,” you respond with a soothing lilt, ears perked and body on high alert.
Does he think you aren’t anymore? You both decided on the plans earlier. Surely he knows you’d never just flake on him. “I’m coming back once you’re done with work, remember?”
There’s an uncomfortable pause on the line, which makes your boyfriend’s next question jab you so far in the lungs you can’t breathe,
“…Can it be now?”
Shit.
Just like Jia earlier, you drop every plan you have to the wayside. You’re sure that Taehyung will understand, and you already got through the biggest conversation you needed to with your friends.
“Of course,” you whoosh out. “Lemme just say bye and I’ll go.”
“Take your time.” A small shuffling interrupts. “It’ll take me a bit to get back.”
“Okay. See you there.”
The strained urgency in his voice makes your hair stand on end, so you vacate the bathroom to inform the girls that you gotta go—but not without a quick head tilt towards Dom, who follows you outside and into the afternoon sun.
—
—
You wait until you’re next to your car on the street, turning with a concerned expression and jittery nerves, “What’s up with you? Did I do something wrong?”
Turns out, you read Dominique correctly. Her jaw locks before loosening, and it reminds you of the time she confronted you about Yoongi before. God, how much has changed since then. That feels like ages and ages ago.
“It’s not about you,” your best friend clears the air and the tightness in your shoulders. “I’m just.. Glad he came around.”
“Yoongi?” When Dom nods, you blink. “Wait, what?”
“At your house that night.. After he left your room, we had—I dunno, a heart-to-heart.” She sighs, flicking braids over her shoulder. You note to compliment the beads she chose this time, because they remind you of summer and simpler times. “I might’ve pressured him a bit, and.. I think he wanted to tell me that he loved you. All the way back then.”
Something in your heart stutters, and you can only repeat your last question, “What?”
“Yeah. Something about needing to do something first,” she continues, holding your gaze with perfect brows furrowed in sunlight. “But I could tell he was damn serious about whatever it was. And if he was willing to do it for you? I let it go.”
Your mind whirls.
Yoongi was already in love with you back then? Is that why he needed to let you go? To deal with whatever he had to do?
One side of you breaks thinking he had to go through all that alone; the other side is screaming at his past self for not even giving you a choice. What did he go through? What did he have to do?
Now you really have to see him. Immediately.
“Thank you, Dom,” you rush out while opening your door. “I’m just happy it’s over.”
“The hell it’s not.” Shooting you a glare that heats the oncoming breeze, she reminds, “It’s not over until your brother knows. And based on everything that’s happened? That conversation is not gonna go over well.”
A dark, simmering boil starts in your stomach, and you’re already feeling queasy again. Tightening your door handle, you gulp hard. “I know.”
“Trust me, I’m happy for you both. I am.” Both hands find her hips as she levels a gaze that you really, really don’t enjoy. “But I’m gonna be honest, I think this is gonna ruin their friendship for good.”
Both of your lungs clamp shut.
“Please don’t say that,” you beg, “I’m gonna fight for all of us. I will.”
“I don’t doubt that, babe. Hey, uh uh, come here.” Reaching out, she gives you a tight hug just when you feel fragile again.
“Listen to me. I don’t doubt that,” she says into your shoulder. “I’m just here to be realistic. Just don’t be shocked if that’s how it goes. We’ll be here for you no matter what, too.”
“Okay,” you say with a scrunched face into her scent. God, she always smells so good, and it’s almost enough to calm you down. Almost almost almost. “Thank you. But I’m not giving up.”
“That’s my girl.” She squeezes you one more time. “I love you.”
With eyes searing over, you choke and grip her tighter. “I love you, too.”
—
—
Yoongi’s door warms your back as you wait for him to show.
But there’s a good chance it can just be your volcanic anxiety.
Ever since your arrival, you’ve paced, you’ve gnawed on your lips, you’ve had to shake the nerves out of your hands.
And over and over, you’ve strained your neck to look for your favorite cat, because you could sincerely use even a glimpse of her right now.
While she doesn’t end up showing, Yoongi rounds the nearest corner minutes after your last desperate scan.
Fuck, he’s so handsome.
Even now, as he simply walks toward you with a backpack slung over his shoulder, you watch with undying yearning to feel those flowing bangs over his forehead. You’d even settle for a single touch of his cheeks, one of them currently sporting a thin bandage.
But the closer Yoongi gets, the quicker your admiration morphs into concern. There’s a deep bend in his brows that you can’t decipher, and his fist is balled pretty tight.
Seriously, what happened? He looks so troubled that you slowly push off the doorway to ask,
“Baby, what’s—”
A bag hits the ground before you’re swooped into a kiss so electric your lips spark.
Him. Him, him, and more him. For the love of everything you don’t understand what’s happening but you kiss Yoongi back with everything you have, arms slinging around his strong shoulders and tugging him closer because he clearly needed this.
And fuck if you didn’t need it just as much. Screw it if anyone sees you. This is all you want and you’ll stay right here until he pulls away.
When he finally does, both of you swallow to catch your breaths, and your soul glimmers when his forehead meets yours.
“Hi, baby,” you whisper to his exhales. “Missed you, too.”
Silent, your lover kisses your forehead before hugging you close, and you’re more sure of your prediction than ever. Something is bothering him.
He doesn’t look worse, at least. But there’s clearly something off and he’s not hiding it. His lack of words is loud enough.
“Let’s go inside,” you quietly suggest. “I would’ve gone in already but I don’t have a key.”
He nods, fishing out his keyring to let you both inside.
When you set your bags down and slip off your shoes, it’s only seconds before you’re softly pulled into a hug again, surprising yet so, so welcoming.
Even only after a few hours, you’ve missed the fuck out of him. Which makes all of this an outright dream.
“Sorry,” Yoongi finally murmurs against your shoulder. “I just…”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” You stroke a hand along his hair, massaging his scalp and loving how soft it feels. The windswept strands fall back into place as you keep running your fingers through. “Did you at least get your appointment?”
“Yeah, I did.” He buries his face further. “Nothing bad. Just can’t lift anything heavy for a couple days.”
“Good. That’s easy to manage,” you whisper back into his tee, feeling the chill of lingering air conditioning and body warmth all at once. “Is something else bothering you?”
“Not exactly.” Whatever that means. “I’ll tell you about it later. Just wanted this, and you.”
Oh. That’s…
“I’m here now, love,” you assure with a melting heart, wondering what happened to cause this behavior.
Is it because of last night? Or something that happened today? You’re anxious all over again, but from the way Yoongi’s acting, your worries are second to his. “Have you eaten yet?”
He shakes his head, only pulling you closer with not a word from his lips.
And from this point on, you make a silent vow to yourself. Whatever Yoongi needs, you’re going to take care of him.
No matter what, these next few days are all about him—a minuscule sacrifice in comparison to everything he’s done for you, whether you knew about it or not.
“I’ll make you something then. Come on.”
When you walk, you slip your hand down his arm to hold his hand, and your lead into his kitchen is short.
“Any requests?” You cheerfully ask as you spare a smile over your shoulder. “We can do… Something light…”
Only to see him staring back with nothing but a lingering sense of longing.
Okay.
You need to get to the bottom of this now.
Stopping right over linoleum, you leave no room for arguments, “Yoongi. Tell me what’s wrong.”
He blinks before his gaze meets the floor. So you’re confused when he simply, quietly..
Laughs?
“It’s not that something’s wrong,” he slowly starts, a shy smile carving his features. “For the first time in my life, nothing’s wrong.”
Your heart beats extra loud.
“But it’s too much to explain right now.” His eyes rise to meet yours. “Just know that I’m so in love with you.”
Oh.
“And I want you to know that every day I live.”
Fuck.
Your body responds before you can say anything, lips connecting to remove any need for speech. The knowledge of them all staring death in the face last night makes this confession sear your insides, and you can’t help but kiss him like you’ll never get to again.
Yanking him back, you spin on your heel until he flings into the kitchen, clutching your wrists before gripping your jaw with both hands.
His mouth heats on yours, his glasses the only barrier between your skin. Everything sizzles from your head to your toes, and you both bang into a countertop before—
“Fuck, ouch.”
“Shit, you okay?”
Yoongi rubs his side with one eye pinched shut, a corner of his teeth present. “Yeah. Worth it, though.”
“Be serious,” you reprimand. Looks like he’s gonna have to take it easy, which means no going at it like animals until he’s on the mend. “No more until you feel better, yeah?”
“Says who?”
“Babe.”
His deadly pout almost breaks your resolve. “Fine.”
But you can wait. You’re sure it won’t take long, and for this man? You’ll wait however long you need to.
Besides, there’s plenty of things you can do in the meantime that don’t require running into hard objects.
“Good. Now let’s…” You turn away to get started before you’re held, and pulled back into yet another embrace.
What the hell is happening today? Your lungs and your melting pile of a brain can only take so much. It’s beautifully overwhelming how Yoongi can’t seem to let you go, because you’re the one that always loses control.
This whole time, it’s been you that can’t hold yourself back.
So now? Being on the other side? You don’t think you ever want him to restrain himself again.
This time, he moves slow. Sensuously slow, and it would occur to you that he’s finding a very cheeky loophole to your plan if you weren’t so hazy-eyed.
Whatever Yoongi’s doing, you won’t stop him.
Your back touches a counter before Yoongi cages you in, and your lips mold together as perfectly as his body does with yours. Your unhurried strokes match his, and your minds communicate without a single word.
There’s yearning still ever present. But there’s comfort in abundance, and a whole new level of need.
After he pulls away, you can visibly see him drink you in from head to toe.
“You know.. I’m good holding off on all the other shit.” Pulling you in, his lips curve as he confidently declares, “But I’m never gonna stop kissing you.”
His hands, his lips, his words. They all have healing powers, you’re so sure of it. If Yoongi hasn’t yet realized his unending pain has blossomed into a safe haven, you need to let him know no matter what,
“Good.”
There’s still a pining in his eyes, but he lets you free, hand skirting your hip before he walks to his room. “Gonna change then I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to, baby,” you say as you struggle to catch your breath. “I got it.”
Three minutes later, he’s chopping an onion anyway.
But you’re loving how serene everything feels with the two of you prepping and dicing, thumps of knives on wood intertwining in sound before you laugh at his crying over the pesky vegetable. Maybe if he wore contacts instead of specs, he’d be better off.
Not that his choice of eyewear is what you’re complaining about. But those glasses paired with the cream tees he’s been wearing? There will be hell to pay as soon as you get a chance at revenge.
Your pot is set to boil for a bit, so you finally rest against the counter and start a timer on his microwave. “Go ahead,” you gesture to your very handsome cooking partner. “You can sit now.”
“Huh? We’re not done yet.”
“Oh.” Blinking, you tilt your head in confusion because you could’ve sworn you heard him yawn a couple times. “You aren’t tired?”
“I am,” he says before squeezing his eyes, rapid blinks to follow. “But I’m fine here.”
You toss and turn the food around, sprinkling a little more seasoning and hearing the bubbles and fizzes. When you stir a little more, a sudden thought occurs, halting your movements and spinning you around,
“Are you staying there to watch my ass.”
Yoongi’s slow smile gives everything away, but he also makes up for the blatant staring.
“Can’t deny that’s one of the things.” Pushing off the sink, he stands right next to you, slotting a hand behind your neck and angling you for a kiss. “But I meant it earlier. I just…”
You’re completely silent as you watch him slide his eyes from your face to the sizzling food. Whatever he’s thinking about, you’re gonna give him all the room to talk.
“Just like being where you are.”
How you went from almost running out of his door to here, you aren’t quite sure. But you’re grateful for that split second of him deciding to fight for the two of you instead of against, because you really were going to leave.
And you may have taken much, much longer to even try going back.
Your voice is barely heard over the aromatic smell and fizzle, “Good thing I like having you around.” When he smiles again, you let out a breath of a giggle, going back to shuffling the pan around and tilting your head to the fridge. “I put some fruit in there if you wanna eat that, too.”
“I’m down.”
“K.”
Your food is ready soon enough, and the two of you eat while talking about easy topics. Like work and your workplace dynamics, what Yoongi’s team has been working on at the studio.
At one point, your curiosity about the album release party grows from something he says. “Speaking of. The party’s on Friday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I thought so,” you deflate, setting your bowl down on the table. “Sorry he can’t go.”
“Huh?”
Your body stills. “Wait. Did he not say anything? About his trip being extended?”
So much for nothing in his life being wrong. From the lost look on his face, you may have given him another reason to fold back in on himself. “No.. No, he didn’t.”
Both of you sit in silence.
This could be nothing. Right? That means your brother is confident he can make it so there’s no point in telling Yoongi he’s gonna miss it. Or maybe he’s not trying hard enough and then not being able to say it to his face?
“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “I thought he told you.”
“It’s okay.” Clearly it’s not. “Not much to do about it now.”
“Yoongi… What if he knows?” At your own question, you stiffen, curling into a proverbial ball. Fear and the sick backfire of fibbing has your mouth going drier than desert air. “What if he actually knows?”
Setting down his chopsticks, Yoongi looks your way, eyes unreadable behind his specs. “If he did, do you think he’d leave us alone?”
He’s got a point. “Guess not.”
“Mm.” Flicking his eyes to the window, he adjusts uncomfortably in his chair. “And I dunno if I mentioned this, but.. He thinks I got back with my ex.”
“Fuck, really?”
“That’s the real reason why he hasn’t been talking to me. Maybe he thinks she’s gonna be there on Friday.”
“Oh.” Your shoulders sag, and sag. Not owning up to your relationship is one thing; Yoongi having to dwell in his previous relationship is another. “Is that… worse?”
“Kinda.” Yoongi’s eyes fall. “Much worse.”
“Shit.” Reaching across wood, you close your hand around his fingers for support. It’s the only thing you can think to do. At least, it’s what you would want if you were in his shoes. “I think you should tell him she won’t be.”
A million seconds later, Yoongi thankfully agrees. “Yeah, I will.”
You feel better. Somewhat. At least a little less nauseous about the possibility of your brother knowing.
But it still sucks knowing that he’s actively avoiding Yoongi because of an ex he used to have.
How bad was it back then if this is the case? What exactly happened? Is this why Yoongi went radio silent on you for weeks?
It seems like he doesn’t even wanna talk about her. So you won’t pry just yet, as much as you wanna know every single thing she’s done wrong so you can hound her through every timeline in existence.
Instead, you talk about a much better subject,
“We should feed my cat now.”
And you quickly laugh at the saucy glint in Yoongi’s eyes.
—
—
Everything is set where it needs to be. Sugar’s food and water fill their respective bowls, your shoulder leans into Yoongi’s good side, and his arm rests around your back as he’s propped up by his banged up doorway.
You remember the first time you saw him lean against the wood like this. Only that time, you were a shell of a girl, waiting with shaky breaths and shaken confidence to hear his response to your inappropriate request.
Who would’ve thought that you’d be on the same side as him all these months later? In his arms, resting a head on his warm chest?
When you let out a short chuckle, Yoongi turns to your smile. “Hmm?”
“Nothing,” you wisp out. “Just thinking about us.”
His fingers press into your side a fraction more, and you can feel him lift his head again. “Me, too.”
Umm.
You can say things like that. He isn’t allowed!
You’re about to set some one-sided rules before your gift pops out of the bushes a few feet away.
“My baby!” you quietly call, leaving Yoongi’s side to crouch down. “Come here, love. You hungry?”
She cautiously makes her way over, sniffing your hand when you leave it outstretched. After careful consideration, the little one nudges your palm, letting you glide fingers down her back as she approaches her bowls.
“You’re so tiny,” you observe with slight pity. “We’ll get you well fed in no time—”
“Hey, Sugar! Oh, is this her? She’s gorgeous, no wonder!”
Huh? Sugar?
Who else knows the cat’s name already?
Your neck almost strains when you look up to see who’s talking. When you notice an older lady donning a really comfy, fluffy robe, you feel like it looks super familiar before you stand.
“Hi,” you greet before introducing yourself, extending your hand and shaking the woman’s soft, delicate fingers. “Sorry if we were too loud.”
“Call me Miss Dion. And you weren’t too loud this time, sweetie,” she says with a wink, glancing down at the kitty eating what you laid out. “Was just comin’ out to water my plants so it’s good to see you’re here, too. Looks like he finally got some sense back in that head of his.”
“I’m standing right here, you know.”
“Oh, I know!”
Back? How long has she known about you? Do her and Yoongi actually converse regularly? Their banter is… Really adorable.
It’s making you fall even more in love with the man biting his cheek in amusement.
Wait.
Is Yoongi Sugar?
That is so fucking cute you could cry.
“I’m back to take care of this guy,” you explain with a head tilt. “And the little one, of course.”
It’s when you say this that Miss Dion notices the bandages on Yoongi’s face, concern pushing down her brows. “What happened to you, young man?”
“Nothing to worry about.”
“You sure? I got some ointment in my kitchen somewhere—”
“It’s all good—”
“We’ll take it,” you cut him off, not looking but feeling his stare on your face. “How much do we owe you?”
“Oh, don’t you worry about that.” With a snuff at Yoongi and a smile your way, Miss Dion heads inside to fetch a bottle.
In the meantime, you give your lover a quiet stare before bending down to run your hands over soft fur.
“Papa Sugar is gonna need that so he can’t argue,” you coo to your cat, cheekily ignoring Yoongi’s sputtering puff of air above your head.
“Papa Sugar? Really?”
You glance up to his smile with a mischievous one of your own. “What, you wanna be Sugar Daddy instead?”
The swirl in your belly is instant. Because Yoongi can only look out into the distance, biting his lip and failing to hide his grin.
Sigh. If only he didn’t have those injuries across his face. You’d push him back into the door and slam it shut if it was any other day.
Patience, patience, patience.
Those hits aren’t gonna heal with just one round of gauze.
When you have to replace the cotton patches, at least you’ll have something to help.
—
—
It’s not until you’re about to tuck in for the night that Yoongi approaches your side of the bed. Judging by the headphones slung around his neck, he’s about to work, so you assume he’s just coming to give you a kiss goodnight.
But after he does exactly that, he asks you a question that warms your chest,
“Where’s your keys.”
“In there,” you motion to the nearest wall, bag propped right under his windowsill. “Inside pocket, I think.”
Yoongi bends with a prolonged grunt, slowly rummaging until he finds your jangling keyring with its charms. When he grabs it, he silently sits on the edge up against your stomach, body heat permeating your tee while he fiddles with the clasps.
God, you’re so in trouble. You know exactly what he’s doing.
Unlike the last time he offered you complete access to his place, this time he didn’t even hesitate. And the way he secures a key amongst the loop, it’s his silent way of cementing permanence.
That’s not another key for you to borrow.
Because that key is yours.
—
—
continued in angel, pt. 2
pitstop inbox before pt2!! | join the server!
a/n: holy crap we're doing it we are actually back in the main storyline?! how do we feel right now because i am over the damn moon diving into this story again. here's a slight pitstop before you make your way over to part two (THE CONTINUATION IS IN A REBLOG!) so take a breather before heading into the resttttttt
++ feedback box:
⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like!
⇥ here!
++ more links:
⇥ masterlist
⇥ three tangerines masterlist
a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it yet, so we'll keep it goin!
note goal: since we're back in main storyline, upping the goal! 1,000 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tan14 will be dropped as soon as it's done! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
title: angel (m)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)
series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2 | fugue pt. 3 | fugue pt. 4
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: right before he leaves, your brother’s conversation makes your heart stop. and it forces you to make a decision that you need to stick to, no matter what the future holds.
note: it’s been.. two years since the last main storyline update. many things have happened since then, i’ve learned more about myself, and touched more grass than ever. but we’re finally back to our scheduled tangerine programming, and it feels so surreal. incredibly grateful to everyone that has stayed, and welcome to all of you that are new to the 3tan universe!
note 2: also, happy birthday to @somebodydoesluv, @al3ejandra, and anyone else who is celebrating around this time! may you all celebrate a prosperous and healthy year around the sun.
warnings: how it starts LOL, language, explicit scenes, angst, tension, overthinkers overthinking, sibling fights, abandonment mentions, yoongi in those gd glasses again, jimin…?, obligatory kissing warning, everyone being a ride or die i’m weeping, we give the yoongi the business oops, ermm did i say angst, crying, hand holding since it’s a warning now, weapon mentions, wound mentions, yoongi on the phone :), blanket kicks incoming, feelings at an all time peak, fluff??, bro best bro, yoongi in tanks….., vmin best vmin, reader is so strong, but both siblings just need hugs man😩, studio………. time……?, things get so nasty i was blushing y’all ngl
explicit warnings: under the cut and dear god help me lmao
mood: off my face - justin bieber ; ojitos lindos - bad bunny
drop date: july 14th, 2026, 7:17pm est
word count: 25.5k…….. :’)))
explicit warnings: cursing, thigh riding, cowgirl, oral (m rec), naughty studio time(??), couch sex, rough sex, giving yoongi the business, bold as fuck reader, choking, spanking, penetrative sex, kissing deserves to be here too lol, alexa play no hands by waka flocka, deep throating, hair/head tugging, nipple play, yoongi in that gd tank, yoongi in those gd glasses, teasing, titty fucking hello!!!!, stripping while he watches…. yeah, missionary, sub!3tanyoongi?????, scratching, multiple orgasms, protected sex, emotional sex, the glasses.. stay on??, good god they’re so hot i’m blushing
—
—
It’s morning when Jimin gets a call.
Shifting in sheets that aren’t his, he sleepily blinks once before eyeing the blue light with a squint, wondering who dares wake him up before his natural rise. What time even is it anyway? It’s gotta be an ungodly hour if his circadian rhythm is disturbed.
Still, he grabs his cell from the nightstand, flinching at the movement behind him and inwardly slinging out curses.
Because waking him up is one thing.
But if anyone disturbs Taehyung he’s gonna give them hell—
Min Yoongi: Incoming Call
Shit.
Jimin yanks the covers off, rushing out of bed and snapping Tae awake anyway. For what? Don’t fucking know, but they’re ready. Wherever. Whatever. They already stayed up clutching their phones until they physically couldn’t keep their eyes open.
Because as much as Yoongi assured him nothing would happen, Jimin still couldn’t let go of his car keys.
Answering slow, he feels his chest winding and winding, eyes locked with Taehyung while they both wait on edge, “…Yoongi?”
“Yeah.”
Thank the fucking stars.
Yoongi’s okay. He’s on the line. He made it to morning or whatever fucking time it is, and he’s doing exactly what he said he would.
And it’s enough, enough, enough.
Burns zing up the corners of Jimin’s eyes, and he swipes hard as Taehyung moves, likely to hear what’s happening and even more likely to just be by his side.
Jimin is grateful for either one. But he tries to keep composure as he croaks, “You better have woken me up for a reason.”
The slight hum on the line induces a wobbly smile. “You slept?”
“Fuck you,” Jimin shakily laughs, wiping liquid relief from an eye before Taehyung’s thumb brushes tenderly over the other. His gaze is thankful while continuing, “We did but not much.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Sniffling, Jimin walks to Tae’s door, letting him into the hallway first and finally drinking in the sight of his ass in those sweats. Because he can finally function like a normal, smitten loser again. “We’ll come over so we can—”
“No need.”
“What?” Nope. Back to panic mode. And judging from his boyfriend’s posture, Taehyung has backpedaled into that, too. “What do you mean no need?”
There’s a slight pause on the line, and small noises make their way through the speaker. It sounds like bedsheets, but it also sounds like…
“She’s still sleeping.”
Oh.
Oh, shit.
A tidal wave of relief crashes into Jimin’s ducts as he hangs his head, palming his face caught in a heavy tide of emotion. When he turns, Taehyung fairs no better, his eyes red and fingers wiping at a perfect, perfect cheek. One of them sniffles, but Jimin can’t tell if it’s him or not, because his vision is blurry and his heart is beating, beating, beating again.
Whether you know it or not, whatever you did last night may have just changed Yoongi’s entire life.
Because Jimin knows this man through and through. Years of picking up his habits and tells didn’t amount to nothing. It’s how he was able to sense exactly when to intervene, and how he knew exactly what that hauntingly hollow tone in Yoongi’s voice meant when he busted in that day.
The tone he hears now? The man that just spoke on the line?
That is a Min Yoongi so in love he can’t even hide it over the phone.
Fuck.
Gathering himself, Jimin squeaks out, “I… I’m glad you…” What the fuck does he say? Every thought jams in his throat so hard he has to hand the phone off.
Thankfully, Taehyung perfectly continues his thoughts, voice scratching rocks under a waking river, “We’re glad you’re both safe.”
“Mm.”
“So when’s the wedding?”
Jimin huffs through a fresh batch of tears, clearing his face before grinning at Tae very seriously awaiting an answer. Honestly, at this point? It’s not far-fetched. Jimin’s seeing your future clearer than his present, and maybe he will be a fun uncle sooner than he thinks.
If only Yoongi would just get the fucking talk with your brother over with.
But Jimin understands the hesitation. If he were in that same position, there’s no telling when he would be courageous enough to stand up to the guy. There’s a reason he’s quick to command a room, and his lifelong mission to protect his younger sister made him grow up a lot faster than everyone else.
Still… Yoongi just deserves to be happy. And you’re the very obvious answer to helping with that.
As much as he may have wanted some chances of his own, Jimin is grateful you found your way into his best friend’s heart. Not just anyone is invited inside, and even less people can truly be allowed to stay.
And you’re probably the only one that has permanent residence.
“You guys should get some sleep.”
Taehyung pouts right on cue, and Jimin can’t fight those sleepy, droopy eyes. “You didn’t answer me.”
Cute as fuck! He must be stopped. Taking the phone, Jimin speaks into the line fully recovered, shooting his cheeky partner a teasing glare, “We will if you get some, too.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Got some things to do at the studio—”
“No!” They reject together, both equally as appalled because what the fuck kinda answer is that?
“After what happened last night? Are you crazy?”
“What happened to spending time with her? Men!”
“He’s going on a business trip, I can’t lose to him.”
“So what?” Tae asks before they both share an even further confused look. Yoongi may be a lovesick fool but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be a dumbass! “You’re just gonna leave her alone?”
There’s a sigh on the line before Jimin plants a hand on his hip. “Not just that. You gotta rest, too, bro. If she doesn’t tell you to take it easy or at least get checked—which she will—we’re going over there to annoy you.”
“You serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious.” Jimin cocks his head and leans closer to the phone. “At least rest easy for the next couple days. Especially if you have all this time to see each other.”
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. Your brother is leaving for his trip and Yoongi caught some unfortunate hits to his ribs. The dude basically has a free pass to spend the whole week with you, and he’s not even taking full advantage of it? Oh, the things Jimin has to say about the thin line of work ethic and relationship effort.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about it for a long time,” Taehyung cuts in before Jimin can pop off, walking away into the living room.
It’s fine. Let him figure out that you aren’t a woman he can just leave. Frankly? That would tickle Jimin to no end to see Yoongi folding his plans so fast just to be with you.
But he spares him the tirade only because you’re fast asleep right next to him. “Thank you for calling, man.”
“Said I would.”
“I know.”
Because above all else, Jimin is happy to hear that voice. Even if it’s obvious he’s a little banged up from last night, it’s still Yoongi. In one piece. That’s all Jimin wanted, and he can’t thank you enough,
“Don’t overwork yourself, and stay with her as long as you can.”
There’s a small laugh on the other end. “I plan on it, Chim.”
And Jimin catches on to why. “I’m holding you to that then.”
—
—
Dawn breaks through open blinds, stretching its orange tint across a clean, spotless table.
You don’t know what got you up so early. But when you peer into the kitchen, you tell yourself you woke up right on time.
Because seeing Yoongi when you’re wide awake is better than any dream you’ll ever have.
Not because of his appearance, even though the sight of him sends a pang through your chest. No. It’s the way he’s quietly prepping a morning meal, using the arm on his better side that’s not sporting a nasty hit to the ribs, without you even asking.
Bits of sunlight dance right out of your eyes.
The effort. The consideration. This man shouldn’t be lifting a finger, yet here he is cooking before you even left his bed. Isn’t this the same man that got caught up in a fight hours ago? Isn’t this the same man you almost walked out on with a frozen heart?
Yes. But he’s also the same man that loves you. And you still can’t grasp that concept in any of the fingers playing with his tee you borrowed.
“Hi,” you whisper, telling him a thousand things.
To which he regards before smiling soft, voice travelling over linoleum and circling around your heart, “Morning, doll.”
Damn. You hear it. Yoongi’s sore as hell.
But instead of getting into that right away, you silently take residence by his side. Because this moment feels too delicate, and you admire his willingness to take care of you unprompted. You didn’t even know you’d eat before going back home.
With a hand warming his back, you wait until Yoongi’s done tossing food on the stove to peck his morning-chilled cheek. “Thank you for cooking,” you murmur, admiring those beautiful brown eyes. “Sleep okay?”
“Cus of you,” your lover softly responds, eyeing your lips before gliding back up to your gaze. “You?”
Ugh. He’s gotta know those glasses are so unfair. They’ve gotten you repeatedly before, and they’re certainly getting you now.
But you can’t help but deflate at the cuts behind those rims, while knowing there are even more bruises hiding underneath his oversized tee. How is Yoongi cooking right now? How is he even awake? “Same.”
“Good.”
These instant, deep shivers at his deeper morning voice will never, ever go away. But anything you wanna do about them isn’t important right now. Right now, you need to make sure Yoongi is either okay, or finds a way to get better.
Sliding your hands down the slopes of his chest, you delicately rest one on his ribs. “Does it still hurt?”
Yikes. That wince is enough. But Yoongi doesn’t shy away from your touch, and you appreciate the way he stays honest. “It’s sore. But I should be good.”
“You gonna get it checked?”
There’s a slight upward tilt of his lips. “Not right now.” At least the honesty persists, as much as you don’t want him following the typical manly response to hospital visits. “But I will if you want me to.”
“Please go,” you gently urge, lest you disturb the soft morning dew before it melts with the sunrise. “For me?”
Only sizzles from the stove fill the space until Yoongi nods, and his voice is just as low and tender, “I’ll go after work.”
Oh. “You’re working today?”
Just like breakfast, you didn’t expect this, either. Frankly, you figured neither of you were gonna even think about work, much less go. Sure, he’s due a hospital visit and you owe some friends immediate explanations for your absence. But other than that, shouldn’t Yoongi be resting?
Does his craft truly mean that much?
Well, shit. You gotta respect his work ethic, that’s for damn sure. Because you would sequester yourself to your bedroom and have endless dates with your television if you were sporting a good jab or two. This music thing must mean more to Yoongi than you previously thought. And who are you to step on that dream?
Suddenly, all thoughts and concerns flee from the kiss on your cheek.
“I’ll stay if you stay,” he says, turning to move the pan and scrunching his face with a grunt. Fuck.
“I…” Shit, you were gonna go back to the house anyway. And from Yoongi’s smartass smirk, you can tell he already knew that. “Just need to check on him, too. And he doesn’t have a car right now, so. I should at least give him a ride.”
“Figured.” In a move so domestic your head spins, Yoongi turns your body and gently pats your butt. “Now go sit. Let’s eat and figure this out.”
—
—
As you devour a flawless meal and clean your dishes, you plan out the day. You’ll head home and check on your brother while Yoongi heads to the studio, and then you’ll rendezvous with your friends to hang out until he’s done with work. They’re already lighting up your phone like no one’s business—especially Yuri.
Yoongi flicks the sink off before you both head to his bedroom, and you melt at the way he slowly wraps his arms around your front halfway there, all four of your legs slowing to close the rest of the distance.
What’s he doing? This is joyfully new, but you have a pretty tight deadline. Warming his forearm and your own cheeks, you chuckle out, “We have to hustle, old man.”
“You hustle me all the time,” he accuses into your shoulder blade, kissing its ridge and making you reconsider walking out the door entirely. “Lemme have this.”
Your second laugh is more subdued, and you’re right between his bed and desk when you lift both hands to hold him close. “You have everything I got,” you wisp into his skin, planting your lips once, twice before you feel his arms press further in. “So this is nothing.”
Seconds and silence slide by, the delicate veil of early morning still hovering around the room. When Yoongi doesn’t say anything, you make to turn and face him.
But you’re stopped before your heart skips.
“I could stay like this all day,” he admits, voice so low it rumbles through your bones. “And it’d be perfect.”
“What, you don’t wanna see my face?” You joke with a giggle. “Rude, but that’s fine.”
Yoongi only buries his nose further, his glasses sliding against your skin peeking from his shirt. “I’m much braver right here, doll.”
Oh.
The leap your heart does is more of a dive, plummeting into the seafoam swirling around your feet. All the words you want to respond with jump off right after, leaving you with nothing but the clouds in your eyes.
You don’t quite know what he means by that. But it feels like those six words hold the weight of a thousand, so you simply let another kiss on his smooth forearm linger. “Do you want me to go with you?”
A puff of laughter warms you right through and, despite his earlier admission, Yoongi does slowly spin you around.
And when you follow, you realize you’re much braver when you aren’t facing him, too.
“It’s not that, babe,” he says through a dashing curve. “But the offer was cute.”
“I take it back then.”
“Damn!”
Both of your laughs whoosh out and collide, sweeping as Yoongi pinches your side and you flinch towards the bed. “You fucker—!”
Before you know it, your back hits a comforter before a weight presses your stomach, emotions clashing as you’re elated and shy and immediately concerned for your boyfriend’s side. “Baby, be careful—”
Lips capture yours, sucking up your warning before a hand slides under your head. Sighing, you arch into his chest, feeling the weight of his chains slip across your breasts.
Euphoria isn’t an adequate enough word to describe how you feel. Where there used to be flutters in your ribcage now reside strong, powerful wing beats, gusts of want and desire lifting you off the ground and launching you into clear skies. Starlight of every color exists within each kiss you share, and your fingers feebly grab his tee to keep you from falling back down to earth.
“If we don’t go now,” Yoongi rasps before sliding his mouth against yours, “We’re never going anywhere again.”
“I know,” you whisper, willingly letting him kiss you once more, “Is that a promise?”
“Fuck, I wish.”
You do, too. But you know you’re running out of time for what you need to do. And weren’t you just saying you had to respect his aspirations? Shit, you really do need to snap out of it. “Come on,” you order with a pat to his chest. “We have all week to do this. We got time.”
Turns out, you’re still amongst the heavens. The way Yoongi’s looking at you? This is the closest you’ll ever get to being held by an angel.
Did he get more handsome overnight? Or is it the light in his eyes sustained since his confession in the kitchen? You don’t quite know, and you may never pinpoint why, but the tug he has on your heart spans space and time.
And you’ll run through both forever to keep meeting him again and again.
Burns prick your eyes, but he mercifully stands before he can catch any evidence of your yearning.
Just like that, the two of you bounce back to getting ready, with him sliding notebooks and headphones in a backpack while you change into your own clothes. As you sling your bag over a shoulder, he reaches for the closest hoodie, and you wordlessly make your way to the front door.
You really do hope he gets looked at today. But just like the calm after a storm, you want to encourage him gently rather than shove him out. At least he seems receptive to your gentle suggestions.
But after you ask one more time and he simply nods, you lower your eyes to his kicks. “Sorry if I’m nagging. I’d just worry less if you went right away, that’s all.”
“You aren’t nagging, babe.” Your freshly bloomed lover reaches out to hold your wrist, smoothing a rough thumb over your skin. Fucking hell, you can’t help but frown at the gashes and cuts marring his knuckles. “I’ll go as soon as I can.”
Not just his hands, but his face. His ribs. And maybe other places you haven’t even seen yet.
You don’t wanna leave his side.
But you have to head out before your brother leaves. Things need to get patched up before he flies out into more stress, and you owe him an apology for walking out when he was still aching. Based on Yoongi’s physical state? Your brother could be hiding some big wounds and you didn’t even wanna talk to him.
However. Was last night necessary? Absolutely. You cannot entertain the possible outcomes had you not tried hard enough to get through Yoongi’s door. His eyes were so dulled, his hands felt so cold. What would have happened if you didn’t force yourself inside?
Why was that guitar smashed to pieces?
This is also why you refuse to leave. So many questions, so many things you still don’t know. Like what all happened when you were separated? And how in the hell is this man in love with you?
“I don’t wanna go,” you confess, instantly encased in his arms and warmth. “I’d much rather keep kissing you.”
“True,” he says with a resigned huff, shifting his glasses with an adorable nose scrunch. If only he didn’t have so many little red lines of conflict on his face. “But we both have stuff to take care of, so let’s get all that done first.”
“Ugh, fine.” Your groan is more teasing than serious, and Yoongi’s laugh is nothing but understanding.
Damn. You still feel it. You really don’t wanna go. Be it the rawness of last night still on your skin, or the confessions still on your tongues, you just wanna stay by his side. “Sorry,” you breathe out, lacing your fingers to pepper love along his strong, reddened ridges. “I’m serious. I don’t wanna leave you right now.”
Walking out of Yoongi’s door just doesn’t feel right. Even if he’s right there and will be following you out. Is this feeling normal? Are you supposed to feel this tightly woven to someone? Because the stitching between your hearts has only gotten stronger in the tempest of last night, as if you bonded together just to hold on for dear life.
Maybe that’s exactly what happened. And it’s exactly why you can barely take one step out of his place.
“Then don’t.”
Not one second passes before your chin is held, and lips slide so tenderly across yours that they may as well melt into your touch. Your reaction is quickly swooped into his mouth, and everything falls away as you let him seize your every thought. Lightning from last night zips out of your limbs, your toes, your fingers clasping his loose tee.
You might just cry where you stand.
How have his kisses gotten even better? How have you never felt this way even though you’ve done this far more times than you were ever supposed to? It should be impossible, and yet, this man finds even more ways to astound you.
Yoongi slips a hand over your cheek, giving one more beautiful push of his lips as he confesses, “I don’t wanna leave you, either.”
And your breath stutters onto his features. “You, too?”
Slow, he kisses your cheek, the clear rim of his specs skimming your nose. When he draws back, you look right into his eyes, wondering why he’s watching your mouth instead.
“Me, too.” Yoongi kisses your other side with a quiet peck. “Fuck, me, too.”
You fucking hate what you have to do, but you don’t have a choice.
With one last lingering kiss, you both gather enough courage to set out and do what you must.
—
—
Your house is already a flurry of activity as you enter to see your brother in the kitchen, packing his leather duffle that’s a constant companion on his trips.
Of course. The memory of him purchasing the lavish accessory pops into your head every time you watch him scurry around, dimples ever present on his proud cheeks. It’s almost enough to make you smile yet again.
But you can’t when the same face is currently scratched to hell. Just like Yoongi’s, if not worse.
Fuck, is he really gonna travel looking like that?
“Hey,” he rasps out, still fighting off slumber. “You’re back earlier than I thought.”
“Wanted to check on you before we left.” Fuck, your voice sounds like it’s being forced through a clogged pipe. Loosen the hell up! “And dude. Put some bandaids on, yeah?”
“Yeah, just give me a sec. Making sure I have everything before my ride gets here.”
“Huh?” He got a ride? You’re here now so you can take him to the airport. “You sure you don’t need me to drive you?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. I didn’t know you were coming back.”
Shit. His body seems just as angular as it did last night. Which, quite frankly, could still be from what went down in the lot.
Because even though you see both men banged up, you suddenly realize you don’t actually know what all transpired.
After all, there wasn’t much talk of it after you walked into the tempest of Yoongi’s living room.
Of course, you aren’t gonna bring it up just this second. There are other things to ask about and make sure of first. “Wallet? Phone? Passport?”
“Yup, yup, uhh.. Yup.”
Zippers sling in the quiet morning air as you continue, “And you’re coming back on Friday, right?”
“Oh.. Nah.” When you start crossing the kitchen, your brother hauls his leather bag over his better shoulder. Honestly, no one would be able to tell the other one’s bruised with his suit on. That thing damn well covers everything except the cuts on his face and hands. “Saturday.”
You pause in your journey to the medicine cabinet. “Wait.. Saturday? The release party’s on Friday.”
“Yeah.. I know.”
What the fuck? That’s bullshit they’re keeping him longer than they have to. Struggling to understand how corporate can keep your brother on a leash and get away with it, you urge, “Tell them to at least let you go home a day early. Don’t you wanna support your friends?”
“You mean Yoongi?”
A zing of terror zips through your eyes, freezing every vein in an instant.
The fuck was that question? Never mind. Stay calm stay calm stay fucking calm. “Uhh, yeah, he’s one of them? But the other guys, too, right? I know you care about them and this is huge.”
Mercifully, your sibling just shakes his head and waves you off. “Don’t you think I already tried? I don’t wanna miss it but I don’t have a choice. Conference schedule is pretty tight and I’m heading the panel on Friday.”
“Is it in the morning? You can fly out after—”
“Why are you fighting so hard?”
“Why aren’t you fighting harder!”
Okay, what in the hell is happening right now? Screw optics and how this must look for you, your brother needs to be there. Him and Yoongi are the tightest of friends, the most ride or die duo you’ve ever seen. You can’t picture a timeline where he misses this monumental moment, and it’s starting to really upset you that he’s barely trying.
“You think I’m not fighting for it?”
“I certainly don’t think you’re trying enough—”
“Alright, you know what?” Hard steps surge forward as you stand rigid, a duffle hastily dumped onto tile. “You don’t know what I’ve tried. You don’t even know if I even told him yet.”
Fucking shit. You hold his stare before turning away, tossing out the idea of bandages entirely and searing footsteps into the hallway—
“Or do you.”
Before icing over with the unforgiving frost of zero gravity space.
Slow, you turn, not quite facing him but not backing down, either. “…Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You talkin’? What else has he been doing to you?”
Oh. Fuck that.
Doing to you?
Fuck all of this. This is too much to handle right now and you know you’re gonna snap if he keeps pushing because you are not having this conversation right before he leaves. You’ve already thought about this before, right? You cannot fuck with his head right before business trips because he needs to be on and locked in.
But now he’s fucking with your temper and those are some choice fucking words pulled out of his ass.
You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately threatened this man to his face and meant it before, and it tears a sharp corner of your heart, “You better be very careful. With whatever you wanna say next.”
The air proves too thick to slice. While your body stands aflame, your brother is iced over, brimming with an energy that damn near takes physical form. “All I’m saying is? I find out some fucking bullshit is going on—”
No no no, not now.
Reacting fast is your only instinct, brain haywire and fizzling fizzling boiling. Harsh, you spin on your heel and shout the first thing you can think of, “Oh, come on—”
“You better hope to god you’re ready for what’s coming—”
“Stop!” Fuck fuck fuck, this is so frustrating because your head is exploding and your body is screaming to just tell him already. Fuck the consequences at this point this is ludicrous.
Doing to you? Yoongi? How dare he speak about his best friend like that how dare he accuse him without outright saying the words all you have to do is tell your brother how wrong he’s got it.
But you can’t be the one. Yoongi said he would, and he probably took months to get to that point of strength—and healing, from what you can tell.
This is between them. Them. You have to honor that, as much as you wanna just confess everything now and deal with it yourself.
But goddamn your brother is pulsing with anger and it’s leaking into your own charged air.
What does he think is happening? Does he think Yoongi’s just, what, playing you? He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. Yoongi’s been nothing but the best thing that’s ever happened to you and shit your heart hurts because…
Your brother is valid in thinking that.
How foolish. Didn’t you guard your heart from Yoongi for the longest? Didn’t everything start because you figured you knew who he was because of his reputation? You got him all wrong, too. So how can you be mad at your brother for doing the same?
Fuck, think. Just think before someone gets hurt.
Because if you aren’t careful, someone—or multiple someones—will get hurt in seconds. You have to bear the pain alone right now. To protect them both, you have to keep your trembling mouth shut.
And? You have to admit that something isn’t fair here. Not to you, not to Yoongi, but to him. Last night was rough as fuck but, while you both got to have raw, beautiful closure, the one standing in front of you had to go to sleep in an empty house.
So chill the fuck out.
Breathing to cool down, you tense and loosen, tense and loosen. “I get it. You’re angry, and you have a lot going on. But,” you bite down on your lip to keep going. “We’re talking about something else. We’re talking about you, and I’m still pissed you even let those guys goad you into a fight. What are we, twelve?”
Seething, your sibling takes the switch of pace. But it is not what you want to hear. “Are you seri—? What the hell was I supposed to do? That son of a bitch grabbed you—”
“I know,” you recoil. “Don’t tell me like you were there, because you weren’t.”
Finally—finally—those angry lines in his face vanish.
But they make way for something much worse than anger. Because your older brother, someone that’s been there for you your whole life..
Looks absolutely stricken over the one time he wasn’t.
Damn it.
Regretful, you drop your shoulders in exhaustion and quiet compromise. When you continue, your voice is much softer, “But I told you: they were. Your friends, they were there because they knew you wanted that. Jimin got me away, Yoongi took me home and stayed.”
You really have got to stop saying his name like you love him. It could start becoming too obvious.
Shuddering, you shift your weight, folding your arms and shrinking into yourself.
That night, despite Yoongi’s best and most gentle efforts, still clings to where that loser touched you at Dalo. You hate that you haven’t gotten over it, and you loathe the way you still rub over the same spot. Over, and over. “What did you want him to do? Leave me here?”
“No.”
“Exactly. And he didn’t.” You adjust your stance again, making an impromptu gamble as you decide to let some truth leak out. Because your brother is owed at least this much. “And fine, you wanna know something? We do talk more because of it.”
Your brother’s head snaps up, and you brace. Because if you show any shred of weakness or hesitation, he’ll see right through your weak attempt to hide most of the truth,
“But don’t ever accuse him of doing anything to me. That was fucked up to say and you know it.”
“Fuck.” In agreement, he rubs his hair back. “It was. I’m sorry.”
“Trust me,” you swallow, hating that this is how things have to be for now. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s never.. Never done anything to me, anyway.”
It’s not a lie. Everything he’s done has been with you. For you. Because of you.
But your heart’s in anguish as it sinks. Because that expression on your older sibling’s face can only be one thing.
Pure. Utter. Relief.
Fire singes your eyes before you can quell the flame. It’s the hardest technical truth to swallow.
Sure, he doesn’t have anything to worry about as far as you being safe. And on top of that, he doesn’t have to worry about any fake shit because Yoongi confessed to you last night.
But as far as his best friend sleeping with and now dating his sister behind his back? That is still very much sitting right in the center of the table.
And now you’re starting to see just how fucked all three of you are as soon as you sit down to eat the truth.
But Yoongi said he’d be the one to tell, so he will.
This feeling is so fucking miserable, though.
In the end, your brother is effectively convinced, raking a hand across his head and sighing. “Jimin told me what all went down at Dalo, I just… Last night was… Fucked up.”
“Well, yeah.”
“No. See, this is just like what you said to me. You can’t say it like you were there.”
It’s your stomach’s turn to twist. “So? You were scratched and bruised to hell, and Y…” Shut up, shut up. You’re not supposed to know about the state of anyone else. “And you were… quieter.”
“Because of what happened, dude.”
You blink. “What… What happened?”
Your brother looks at you—really looks at you.
And suddenly, your gut flares in terror, storming in an instant across your abdomen.
“That bitch pulled something on us.”
Your heart.
It’s in freefall.
“Wait… What?” You can’t even form more than one syllable at a time, your legs turning gelatinous and knees starting to give out. “No… What are you…?”
What the fuck did he just say? That bitch pulled a what?
Your sibling slowly walks toward you once again, watching like he’s just waiting for you to say anything. Do anything.
But you’re a complete statue because all you can think about is the horror of something happening and the relief that nothing happened all at once.
Was Yoongi too scared to mention that part? Is this why he was holding back and shaking every time he reached out to touch you? Even this morning, he was so…
You’ve never seen him like that. Is this why?
Your mind is swirling and crashing, overlapping each passing thought and scream running through your head. “I’m so sorry,” you hitch out, “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Didn’t wanna scare you,” he sighs out. Putting both hands on his hips, your brother stops feet away, visibly still shook as he pierces wooden planks with his stare. “But he pulled it right before Yoongi… and if it weren’t…Fuck.”
Burns flare and slice through your eyes when he has to pause. What is he trying to say? Pulled what?
Before Yoongi what?
Your brother continues, and your throat tightens. “If it weren’t for some random ass sirens, I… Things could’ve been so different.”
What the fuck is happening. What the hell are you hearing?
“It was probably dumb as fuck. But I was so fucking angry,” he grits out, watery eyes crushed looking your way. “So fucking mad at how he was talking about you, I.. Walked right up to him and told him to fuck off.”
You can’t even breathe.
“I still feel it,” he quietly adds, fingers pressed against his side. “Right here.”
“Fuck,” you finally choke out, eyes on fucking fire.
“But all I knew was to keep you all safe,” he says, with hardened resolve and a wobbly chin. “And that’s exactly what I did. I did that shit, even if that meant—”
Tears fling out of your eyes, flowing hot down your cheeks because you wouldn’t want any of them to go out that way. Nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened and yet your body is acting as if something did and it hurts.
Your brother is there as soon as you crumple forward, letting you bury your head in his chest and sob your heart out. For him, for his friends, and for all the time you had with the man you love so, so dearly.
If anything happened to your brother before you came clean… If anything happened before you and Yoongi could even…
Suddenly, you feel equal weights of guilt. For running out on your brother. And for almost walking out on Yoongi.
You decide an apology is in order for both of them, and all the understanding in the world for Yoongi’s frosted demeanor as soon as you get him alone again.
And you are one hundred percent going to tell your brother everything once he’s back.
The tears cannot stop, and you’re sure you are crying unimpeded in a pressed and primmed suit. “I’m so sorry,” you keep repenting like a prayer. “This is all my fault.”
“No—”
“You almost—”
“Hey, stop.” He yanks you back, both of your faces soaked with saltwater. “What did I say before? I threw the first swing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But it led to all this, I just.. I just feel so fucking stupid.”
“Don’t. Hey, look at me.” Firm but gentle, he holds you at arm’s length, forcing you to face him. “Maybe we’re both stupid, but you weren’t the idiot. I was.”
You feel so many conflicting things in your soul.
What would you have done if Yoongi was in critical condition? What would you have done differently if your brother was instead? Are they the same? Are the two situations really so different anymore?
No they aren’t they aren’t they aren’t.
“Please don’t do that again,” you shake out. “Even if it was for me, if I ever lost you, I...”
“You know I can’t promise anything.” He furrows his brows when you eye him with anger and sadness. “But nothing like that is happening again. Especially with the same dudes.”
“Okay.”
A vicious tornado of emotions sends your whole body into agonizing pain. This isn’t what you expected at all, and it’s causing your limbs to lock at the bends. Too many scenarios are jangling about yet you can’t ask for specifics because that will just make it even more real.
A nightmare is somehow better once you know it ends with you waking up. “I’m… gonna need some time to process everything.”
“I know. And I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but… You deserve to know the things I get into.”
Ah.
The irony is not lost on you.
“At least, if they involve you. We learned our lesson. You were right to tell us off.”
God. You feel numb.
“Thanks,” you murmur, suddenly immensely tired. “I think I need more sleep.”
A blaring honk sounds outside the house, and you both flinch at the noise.
And your throat burns at the way your brother instinctively swept you behind his back.
When you realize what it is, you know what has to come next.
And he’s the first to react as he turns to face you again, “Alright. I’m heading out, just remember to go get my baby when she’s fixed, yeah?”
“Do you have to go?”
Wait.
The question seems to startle him as much as it does you.
How did you blurt it right out before even registering the words? Why does your heart clench at the sight of those eyes looking so pained?
Why does everything feel so shaky within these walls that were always your home?
“I do,” he says, voice tight. “I’m sorry.”
And why the fuck do you feel sad he’s leaving?
“No, no, it’s.. Of course you have to.” You can’t help the lump in your throat from bobbing, the regret in your limbs as they barely move at your side. “I dunno why I asked, I guess I just..”
There’s no response to your sniffle.
“Sorry for yelling,” you squeak out. “I just feel really queasy.”
For a lot more reasons than one.
“We all made it out,” your brother whispers. “That’s what matters.”
“Will you… Will you at least try to be back for the party?”
The man swallows with his brows knit tight, then attempts to crack the tiniest smile. “You know I will. That’s my guy.”
“Okay.” You nod, sniffling again. After what he just told you? You know he’ll do anything for the ones he loves. “See you there.”
Your brother rubs a comforting palm over your head before turning, heading for the door and grabbing his leather duffle.
When he stops to glance at you one more time, you give a little wave of your hand before watching the door click shut.
Chest caving as you collapse to the ground in tears.
—
—
The need to call Yoongi burns so harshly your fingers damn near set your top aflame.
But he’s at work, and you can’t fuck things up right when you’re approaching the finish line. You almost did with your brother, and that gave you twelve heart attacks in the span of minutes.
Still. Your chest aches so much that a thirteenth could very well be approaching. You don’t even realize you’re bracing the hallway wall for support until you try to stand, back sore and aching from bending so far for so long.
What did your brother mean to say about Yoongi? What did that coward pull on them? Do you even want to know what happened?
Fighting back tears, you reach down for your phone, shakily typing out a message only to erase it. Then again. And again.
And again.
Giving up, you forcefully swallow all your worries, cringing at the bitterness of the unknown and the burnt molasses of hidden truths.
It’s going to be okay. No matter what you think or imagine in your head, they made it out, they made it out, they are all alive.
That’s the only reason you can move forward, each step getting you from your room. To your bathroom.
And back again.
—
—
After showering, you feel lighter and refreshed, though the soreness between your legs has yet to leave.
But you wouldn’t want it any other way, as it’s another reminder of Yoongi’s apparent brush with survival. His broken living room spurned the creation of your bond, your devotion to him as he confessed before you gave him your utmost trust in his sheets.
The end is so close. As soon as this week is over, you’ll rip the last bit of peel from your pair of tangerines, baring all truths to your brother and facing the consequences.
Finally ready, you head to your car, opening your text threads with a plan: start slow.
Start with something that can be interpreted neutrally if anyone saw it on his phone screen, especially if your headstrong ex is in the room.
You [12:31pm]: how are you feeling?
Yoongi [12:34pm]: 1 Attachment
You close your door with brows furrowed.
Yoongi’s at the hospital?
That’s not what you expected at all.
Your chest swells with relief knowing he’s there, but you also wanna make sure he’s feeling okay. Especially his mental state after whatever the fuck your brother just dropped on you before leaving.
Goddamn, that’s going to gnaw at your brain until you find the right time and right amount of courage to ask about it. Because it’s very possible Yoongi won’t tell you.
Because it’s probably something he knows you won’t like.
Fuck.
You [12:34pm]: Loved an Attachment
You [12:34pm]: thank you for listening🤍 still sore?
Yoongi [12:35pm]: Yeah, but not bad. Just there.
Wait. He’s not at the studio. That means you can—
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you slowly say as you pull out into the street. “I’m driving now so this is easier.”
“Course. You going to Tae’s?”
“Maybe. I’m going to Yuri’s first.” You swallow, realizing that you didn’t tell him about what you let slip before driving over. “I.. Told her. About you.”
There’s a little bit of silence on the line, just some adjustments and muffled speaker sounds. “Sorry, just writing this down. What’s wrong with that?”
You huff through your nose. Gotta be those patient forms that always take forever to fill out. “Oh. Just more and more people knowing, is all.”
“Everyone’s gonna know eventually.”
You hold back a small smile. Because he’s right. “Yeah. I’m just tired of this feeling.”
“Like you’re hiding something.”
It’s your turn for silence. He doesn’t know how accurately that was played out today. The only answer you can provide is a curt, “Exactly.”
“Same.”
Wings beat around your heart again.
He wants this. Yoongi really, really wants this. And years ago, that outcome wouldn’t have even crossed your mind as an option.
“Thank you for going, baby.”
“The guys made me.”
You hum. “Which ones.”
After a pause, you hear a puff of amusement. “All of them at some point today, actually.”
All of them? Does that include your brother? Did they talk about the trip already?
Your laugh is bittersweet. “Well. Glad to know you can be forced by everyone else except me.”
“Hey, I was already gonna go because of you!” Yoongi quietly retorts, and you giggle at the pout in his words. “Just wanted to get a headstart on work first.”
You were right. He really does wanna go all out for his musical endeavors.
It’s extremely admirable, and wildly attractive, but it does come to a point. “As much as I love your passion, old man, I wanna keep you upright.”
He laughs soft into the line, and you think you can listen to that specific sound on an infinite loop. “That’s fair.”
“How long is it gonna take, you think?”
“Dunno. But I’ll keep myself busy until I’m out.”
Of course he will. You don’t doubt he won’t waste any time. Didn’t he bring journals in his backpack? You wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote ten thousand songs before being called in. “Just call me if you need anything, please?”
“Of course, babe.”
“Thank you,” you say with utmost sincerity. “If only my brother would be less stubborn and get checked, too.”
“He’ll probably do it once he gets there.”
“Did you convince him?”
“Nah. But once he knows I did, he’ll do it.”
“Figures.” You scoff. “Okay, I’m almost there. Let me know how it goes.”
“K. Bye, doll.”
You didn’t ask him what went down. But it’s not the time nor place, and you have plenty of chances this week to figure out when that would be—if at all.
“Talk soon.”
—
—
For a normally bustling household, Yuri’s house is quiet.
So it’s not shocking when you walk into the kitchen and see all your friends glance your way, slowly vacating their chairs with eyes never leaving your face. Even Reia is on high alert.
Did Yuri tell her? Did Yuri tell anyone else?
No. She’s a talker and loves spilling, but she promised. And when she promises something, you know you can trust her to keep it.
It’s what pours emotion in your voice as you meekly greet, “Hey, guys—”
A crushing hug closes your throat. Yuri’s the one that gets to you first, with Reia and Dominique waiting their turns to offer you healing, relieved embraces.
“What happened?”
“Scared us half to death.”
Dom puts you at arm’s length to give a once over, noting your face rubbed raw and eyes still a little bloodshot. Thankfully, her pupils hold more concern than disappointment. “You good?”
Your eyes wobble alongside your smile, and you think it’s enough proof. “More than that,” you still decide to whisper, and your heart beats again at her reaction.
“Thank god. I was ready to kick your ass if you weren’t.”
Heading up to Yuri’s room, you all wait until the door is swung back before mounting her canopy bed, sitting in a tight circle as you divulge everything.
Well. Almost everything.
You tell them that Yoongi is the one you’ve been seeing, how you went to check on him last night in a panic, and the terrifying reason why. When you mention the fight after the basketball game, all three of your friends erupt in questions, and you have to assure them everything turned out okay. Honestly, you also do this to assure yourself, too.
“So… Your brother’s just fine with all of this?” Reia asks, not noticing the tick of Dom’s jaw.
“Well,” you start with a higher pitch, earning a pair of groans. “He doesn’t exactly know yet—”
“Yup. He’s gonna murder him.”
“Yeah, should we say our condolences now or..”
“How long has this been going on?” Reia fires off another question that digs into your chest. “Was he the one you were seeing the whole time?”
“Yes,” you admit with a sigh. “I should’ve told you guys from the beginning, but. The whole thing just felt so delicate. But! We just started making things official recently, so..”
Dom turns your way. “Official how?”
Well. Here goes everything.
With a shaky breath, and lingering feelings from the time it happened, you reveal with watery eyes, “Yoongi… Told me he loves me.”
Both Yuri and Reia react in yelps, Dom’s gaze lowering as the girls reach to grab your hands.
Wait. What’s going on with her? She’s the one that knows the most, she’s the one that covered for you all those months ago. She has to be the one that is the least surprised at all this.
Blinking, you note to confront her about it later. Right now, you’re too focused on trying not to cry as your friends tumble out questions and support,
“He said it? Did you say it first or did he?”
“How did it happen! Oh, I’m so happy for you, babe—”
“Thank—thank you, Yuri,” you squeeze out as she hugs you close. “I couldn’t believe it, but he just.. Said it. We weren’t even doing anything, I was just.. Looking up what injuries he could have..”
And he confessed in the most Yoongi fashion he could have.
Looking back, it shouldn’t shock you at all. He’s always found ways to sweep you off your proverbial feet, so why would a confession plucked from the heavens be any different?
She lets you go before wiping her eyes, Reia and even Dom now sporting watery pupils, too.
“As much as I’m upset at you for not telling us, I’ve never been so happy for you.” When Yuri’s features crease in another sob, you sniffle along with the rest. “It’s been so long since you… And you really.. Fuck.”
You know what she’s trying to say, and the realization has your throat constricting so tight.
It’s been forever since you’ve had something like this, someone like this. When you and Jungkook were together, you told him that you loved him before he broke it off.
Sure, you bought the rings together, but he never uttered those words until years after when it didn’t even matter. And all your relationships after his were complete and utter bullshit, so you don’t think you ever even heard those three words and knew them to be true.
Yoongi was the first to ever say them so sincerely.
And that fact makes your ducts burn and burn.
And when Yuri finally speaks, it breaks the dam holding your real deluge back,
“I can’t think of anyone else that deserves to be loved more than you.”
All at once, everything streams out as you hunch forward. The pain of everything you’ve endured, the hopelessness of knowing you’d most likely end up alone, the excruciating prospect of a future that you never deemed bright, or peaceful, or comforting.
And to think that even this man could’ve been snatched away from you in a snap? Even more tears overlap with the ones you’re shedding, and you can’t even reach out to hug all three beautiful, angelic souls surrounding you with tight arms and sobs because your limbs lock at all bends.
It’s the exact release you need. All your friends supporting you, all the pent up anxiety of last night and today, the truth setting itself free in some capacity—all in the comfort of a plushie-laden bed you only doubted yourself in last time.
Everything’s gonna be alright. It has to be. You’re gonna fight for the ones you love, even if a war between them is inevitable.
It takes a few minutes of heavy silence for you all to separate, swiping and rubbing tears while letting out happy sniffles.
When you thank them for being understanding, they assure you it’s okay. And when you say you’re going to tell your brother soon, a force from the doorway has all of you leaping from lilac sheets,
“Tell him what?”
Jia stands firm with a laundry basket at her hip, and Yuri scoffs at her older sister for barging in. “A knock would’ve been nice!”
Fuck!
You can’t tell Jia of all people. If you spill anything about Yoongi, she’s one hundred percent going to tell your brother. They’re the same age, and run in pretty tight circles, so of course you are not going to risk it.
But you can tell her something else you’re going to tell your older sibling, so you fire out a half-truth,
“Tell him not to pick any other fights that could get him killed.”
Jia’s eyes zoom to your wrecked face, and she drops the laundry with haste before asking, “What happened? When? Tell me now.”
Huh. Maybe your brother has a type, if he’s still into Jia like he said before.
You feel a little spark in your chest as you let her know they all got in a scuffle after the basketball game, and another pang as she immediately abandons the room and clothes with a fierce declaration,
“I’m gonna kill them myself!”
“Don’t worry, I already hounded my brother!” You call out after her, sighing as Yuri shakes her head with a smile. “She gets like that when she’s really worried, huh.”
“Yeah..” Your friend leans to look around you, noticing the basket left alone on the ground. “And if she’s super fired up, she drops everything and doesn’t stop until it’s handled. Clearly.”
Maybe both older siblings really are similar.
The firestorm of an interruption seemed to break the tension in the room, with all of you finally relaxing and catching up. When they ask you questions, you answer what you can.
And when you divulge information that has your ears burning, their squeals and yells give you whole new reasons to live.
—
—
After a very comforting lunch Yuri’s mom cooked, you head to the bathroom when your phone suddenly vibrates through your palm.
Huh? That’s weird. You expect the name on your screen to be Taehyung, not Yoongi.
Not that it’s a bad thing. You’ve been waiting to hear from him, so this is a pleasant surprise.
Closing the door to the guest bathroom, you gaze at the calming sage decor with a smile. “Hi, how did it—”
“You’re coming over later, right?”
Oh, shit. Is he okay?
“Yes, baby,” you respond with a soothing lilt, ears perked and body on high alert.
Does he think you aren’t anymore? You both decided on the plans earlier. Surely he knows you’d never just flake on him. “I’m coming back once you’re done with work, remember?”
There’s an uncomfortable pause on the line, which makes your boyfriend’s next question jab you so far in the lungs you can’t breathe,
“…Can it be now?”
Shit.
Just like Jia earlier, you drop every plan you have to the wayside. You’re sure that Taehyung will understand, and you already got through the biggest conversation you needed to with your friends.
“Of course,” you whoosh out. “Lemme just say bye and I’ll go.”
“Take your time.” A small shuffling interrupts. “It’ll take me a bit to get back.”
“Okay. See you there.”
The strained urgency in his voice makes your hair stand on end, so you vacate the bathroom to inform the girls that you gotta go—but not without a quick head tilt towards Dom, who follows you outside and into the afternoon sun.
—
—
You wait until you’re next to your car on the street, turning with a concerned expression and jittery nerves, “What’s up with you? Did I do something wrong?”
Turns out, you read Dominique correctly. Her jaw locks before loosening, and it reminds you of the time she confronted you about Yoongi before. God, how much has changed since then. That feels like ages and ages ago.
“It’s not about you,” your best friend clears the air and the tightness in your shoulders. “I’m just.. Glad he came around.”
“Yoongi?” When Dom nods, you blink. “Wait, what?”
“At your house that night.. After he left your room, we had—I dunno, a heart-to-heart.” She sighs, flicking braids over her shoulder. You note to compliment the beads she chose this time, because they remind you of summer and simpler times. “I might’ve pressured him a bit, and.. I think he wanted to tell me that he loved you. All the way back then.”
Something in your heart stutters, and you can only repeat your last question, “What?”
“Yeah. Something about needing to do something first,” she continues, holding your gaze with perfect brows furrowed in sunlight. “But I could tell he was damn serious about whatever it was. And if he was willing to do it for you? I let it go.”
Your mind whirls.
Yoongi was already in love with you back then? Is that why he needed to let you go? To deal with whatever he had to do?
One side of you breaks thinking he had to go through all that alone; the other side is screaming at his past self for not even giving you a choice. What did he go through? What did he have to do?
Now you really have to see him. Immediately.
“Thank you, Dom,” you rush out while opening your door. “I’m just happy it’s over.”
“The hell it’s not.” Shooting you a glare that heats the oncoming breeze, she reminds, “It’s not over until your brother knows. And based on everything that’s happened? That conversation is not gonna go over well.”
A dark, simmering boil starts in your stomach, and you’re already feeling queasy again. Tightening your door handle, you gulp hard. “I know.”
“Trust me, I’m happy for you both. I am.” Both hands find her hips as she levels a gaze that you really, really don’t enjoy. “But I’m gonna be honest, I think this is gonna ruin their friendship for good.”
Both of your lungs clamp shut.
“Please don’t say that,” you beg, “I’m gonna fight for all of us. I will.”
“I don’t doubt that, babe. Hey, uh uh, come here.” Reaching out, she gives you a tight hug just when you feel fragile again.
“Listen to me. I don’t doubt that,” she says into your shoulder. “I’m just here to be realistic. Just don’t be shocked if that’s how it goes. We’ll be here for you no matter what, too.”
“Okay,” you say with a scrunched face into her scent. God, she always smells so good, and it’s almost enough to calm you down. Almost almost almost. “Thank you. But I’m not giving up.”
“That’s my girl.” She squeezes you one more time. “I love you.”
With eyes searing over, you choke and grip her tighter. “I love you, too.”
—
—
Yoongi’s door warms your back as you wait for him to show.
But there’s a good chance it can just be your volcanic anxiety.
Ever since your arrival, you’ve paced, you’ve gnawed on your lips, you’ve had to shake the nerves out of your hands.
And over and over, you’ve strained your neck to look for your favorite cat, because you could sincerely use even a glimpse of her right now.
While she doesn’t end up showing, Yoongi rounds the nearest corner minutes after your last desperate scan.
Fuck, he’s so handsome.
Even now, as he simply walks toward you with a backpack slung over his shoulder, you watch with undying yearning to feel those flowing bangs over his forehead. You’d even settle for a single touch of his cheeks, one of them currently sporting a thin bandage.
But the closer Yoongi gets, the quicker your admiration morphs into concern. There’s a deep bend in his brows that you can’t decipher, and his fist is balled pretty tight.
Seriously, what happened? He looks so troubled that you slowly push off the doorway to ask,
“Baby, what’s—”
A bag hits the ground before you’re swooped into a kiss so electric your lips spark.
Him. Him, him, and more him. For the love of everything you don’t understand what’s happening but you kiss Yoongi back with everything you have, arms slinging around his strong shoulders and tugging him closer because he clearly needed this.
And fuck if you didn’t need it just as much. Screw it if anyone sees you. This is all you want and you’ll stay right here until he pulls away.
When he finally does, both of you swallow to catch your breaths, and your soul glimmers when his forehead meets yours.
“Hi, baby,” you whisper to his exhales. “Missed you, too.”
Silent, your lover kisses your forehead before hugging you close, and you’re more sure of your prediction than ever. Something is bothering him.
He doesn’t look worse, at least. But there’s clearly something off and he’s not hiding it. His lack of words is loud enough.
“Let’s go inside,” you quietly suggest. “I would’ve gone in already but I don’t have a key.”
He nods, fishing out his keyring to let you both inside.
When you set your bags down and slip off your shoes, it’s only seconds before you’re softly pulled into a hug again, surprising yet so, so welcoming.
Even only after a few hours, you’ve missed the fuck out of him. Which makes all of this an outright dream.
“Sorry,” Yoongi finally murmurs against your shoulder. “I just…”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” You stroke a hand along his hair, massaging his scalp and loving how soft it feels. The windswept strands fall back into place as you keep running your fingers through. “Did you at least get your appointment?”
“Yeah, I did.” He buries his face further. “Nothing bad. Just can’t lift anything heavy for a couple days.”
“Good. That’s easy to manage,” you whisper back into his tee, feeling the chill of lingering air conditioning and body warmth all at once. “Is something else bothering you?”
“Not exactly.” Whatever that means. “I’ll tell you about it later. Just wanted this, and you.”
Oh. That’s…
“I’m here now, love,” you assure with a melting heart, wondering what happened to cause this behavior.
Is it because of last night? Or something that happened today? You’re anxious all over again, but from the way Yoongi’s acting, your worries are second to his. “Have you eaten yet?”
He shakes his head, only pulling you closer with not a word from his lips.
And from this point on, you make a silent vow to yourself. Whatever Yoongi needs, you’re going to take care of him.
No matter what, these next few days are all about him—a minuscule sacrifice in comparison to everything he’s done for you, whether you knew about it or not.
“I’ll make you something then. Come on.”
When you walk, you slip your hand down his arm to hold his hand, and your lead into his kitchen is short.
“Any requests?” You cheerfully ask as you spare a smile over your shoulder. “We can do… Something light…”
Only to see him staring back with nothing but a lingering sense of longing.
Okay.
You need to get to the bottom of this now.
Stopping right over linoleum, you leave no room for arguments, “Yoongi. Tell me what’s wrong.”
He blinks before his gaze meets the floor. So you’re confused when he simply, quietly..
Laughs?
“It’s not that something’s wrong,” he slowly starts, a shy smile carving his features. “For the first time in my life, nothing’s wrong.”
Your heart beats extra loud.
“But it’s too much to explain right now.” His eyes rise to meet yours. “Just know that I’m so in love with you.”
Oh.
“And I want you to know that every day I live.”
Fuck.
Your body responds before you can say anything, lips connecting to remove any need for speech. The knowledge of them all staring death in the face last night makes this confession sear your insides, and you can’t help but kiss him like you’ll never get to again.
Yanking him back, you spin on your heel until he flings into the kitchen, clutching your wrists before gripping your jaw with both hands.
His mouth heats on yours, his glasses the only barrier between your skin. Everything sizzles from your head to your toes, and you both bang into a countertop before—
“Fuck, ouch.”
“Shit, you okay?”
Yoongi rubs his side with one eye pinched shut, a corner of his teeth present. “Yeah. Worth it, though.”
“Be serious,” you reprimand. Looks like he’s gonna have to take it easy, which means no going at it like animals until he’s on the mend. “No more until you feel better, yeah?”
“Says who?”
“Babe.”
His deadly pout almost breaks your resolve. “Fine.”
But you can wait. You’re sure it won’t take long, and for this man? You’ll wait however long you need to.
Besides, there’s plenty of things you can do in the meantime that don’t require running into hard objects.
“Good. Now let’s…” You turn away to get started before you’re held, and pulled back into yet another embrace.
What the hell is happening today? Your lungs and your melting pile of a brain can only take so much. It’s beautifully overwhelming how Yoongi can’t seem to let you go, because you’re the one that always loses control.
This whole time, it’s been you that can’t hold yourself back.
So now? Being on the other side? You don’t think you ever want him to restrain himself again.
This time, he moves slow. Sensuously slow, and it would occur to you that he’s finding a very cheeky loophole to your plan if you weren’t so hazy-eyed.
Whatever Yoongi’s doing, you won’t stop him.
Your back touches a counter before Yoongi cages you in, and your lips mold together as perfectly as his body does with yours. Your unhurried strokes match his, and your minds communicate without a single word.
There’s yearning still ever present. But there’s comfort in abundance, and a whole new level of need.
After he pulls away, you can visibly see him drink you in from head to toe.
“You know.. I’m good holding off on all the other shit.” Pulling you in, his lips curve as he confidently declares, “But I’m never gonna stop kissing you.”
His hands, his lips, his words. They all have healing powers, you’re so sure of it. If Yoongi hasn’t yet realized his unending pain has blossomed into a safe haven, you need to let him know no matter what,
“Good.”
There’s still a pining in his eyes, but he lets you free, hand skirting your hip before he walks to his room. “Gonna change then I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to, baby,” you say as you struggle to catch your breath. “I got it.”
Three minutes later, he’s chopping an onion anyway.
But you’re loving how serene everything feels with the two of you prepping and dicing, thumps of knives on wood intertwining in sound before you laugh at his crying over the pesky vegetable. Maybe if he wore contacts instead of specs, he’d be better off.
Not that his choice of eyewear is what you’re complaining about. But those glasses paired with the cream tees he’s been wearing? There will be hell to pay as soon as you get a chance at revenge.
Your pot is set to boil for a bit, so you finally rest against the counter and start a timer on his microwave. “Go ahead,” you gesture to your very handsome cooking partner. “You can sit now.”
“Huh? We’re not done yet.”
“Oh.” Blinking, you tilt your head in confusion because you could’ve sworn you heard him yawn a couple times. “You aren’t tired?”
“I am,” he says before squeezing his eyes, rapid blinks to follow. “But I’m fine here.”
You toss and turn the food around, sprinkling a little more seasoning and hearing the bubbles and fizzes. When you stir a little more, a sudden thought occurs, halting your movements and spinning you around,
“Are you staying there to watch my ass.”
Yoongi’s slow smile gives everything away, but he also makes up for the blatant staring.
“Can’t deny that’s one of the things.” Pushing off the sink, he stands right next to you, slotting a hand behind your neck and angling you for a kiss. “But I meant it earlier. I just…”
You’re completely silent as you watch him slide his eyes from your face to the sizzling food. Whatever he’s thinking about, you’re gonna give him all the room to talk.
“Just like being where you are.”
How you went from almost running out of his door to here, you aren’t quite sure. But you’re grateful for that split second of him deciding to fight for the two of you instead of against, because you really were going to leave.
And you may have taken much, much longer to even try going back.
Your voice is barely heard over the aromatic smell and fizzle, “Good thing I like having you around.” When he smiles again, you let out a breath of a giggle, going back to shuffling the pan around and tilting your head to the fridge. “I put some fruit in there if you wanna eat that, too.”
“I’m down.”
“K.”
Your food is ready soon enough, and the two of you eat while talking about easy topics. Like work and your workplace dynamics, what Yoongi’s team has been working on at the studio.
At one point, your curiosity about the album release party grows from something he says. “Speaking of. The party’s on Friday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I thought so,” you deflate, setting your bowl down on the table. “Sorry he can’t go.”
“Huh?”
Your body stills. “Wait. Did he not say anything? About his trip being extended?”
So much for nothing in his life being wrong. From the lost look on his face, you may have given him another reason to fold back in on himself. “No.. No, he didn’t.”
Both of you sit in silence.
This could be nothing. Right? That means your brother is confident he can make it so there’s no point in telling Yoongi he’s gonna miss it. Or maybe he’s not trying hard enough and then not being able to say it to his face?
“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “I thought he told you.”
“It’s okay.” Clearly it’s not. “Not much to do about it now.”
“Yoongi… What if he knows?” At your own question, you stiffen, curling into a proverbial ball. Fear and the sick backfire of fibbing has your mouth going drier than desert air. “What if he actually knows?”
Setting down his chopsticks, Yoongi looks your way, eyes unreadable behind his specs. “If he did, do you think he’d leave us alone?”
He’s got a point. “Guess not.”
“Mm.” Flicking his eyes to the window, he adjusts uncomfortably in his chair. “And I dunno if I mentioned this, but.. He thinks I got back with my ex.”
“Fuck, really?”
“That’s the real reason why he hasn’t been talking to me. Maybe he thinks she’s gonna be there on Friday.”
“Oh.” Your shoulders sag, and sag. Not owning up to your relationship is one thing; Yoongi having to dwell in his previous relationship is another. “Is that… worse?”
“Kinda.” Yoongi’s eyes fall. “Much worse.”
“Shit.” Reaching across wood, you close your hand around his fingers for support. It’s the only thing you can think to do. At least, it’s what you would want if you were in his shoes. “I think you should tell him she won’t be.”
A million seconds later, Yoongi thankfully agrees. “Yeah, I will.”
You feel better. Somewhat. At least a little less nauseous about the possibility of your brother knowing.
But it still sucks knowing that he’s actively avoiding Yoongi because of an ex he used to have.
How bad was it back then if this is the case? What exactly happened? Is this why Yoongi went radio silent on you for weeks?
It seems like he doesn’t even wanna talk about her. So you won’t pry just yet, as much as you wanna know every single thing she’s done wrong so you can hound her through every timeline in existence.
Instead, you talk about a much better subject,
“We should feed my cat now.”
And you quickly laugh at the saucy glint in Yoongi’s eyes.
—
—
Everything is set where it needs to be. Sugar’s food and water fill their respective bowls, your shoulder leans into Yoongi’s good side, and his arm rests around your back as he’s propped up by his banged up doorway.
You remember the first time you saw him lean against the wood like this. Only that time, you were a shell of a girl, waiting with shaky breaths and shaken confidence to hear his response to your inappropriate request.
Who would’ve thought that you’d be on the same side as him all these months later? In his arms, resting a head on his warm chest?
When you let out a short chuckle, Yoongi turns to your smile. “Hmm?”
“Nothing,” you wisp out. “Just thinking about us.”
His fingers press into your side a fraction more, and you can feel him lift his head again. “Me, too.”
Umm.
You can say things like that. He isn’t allowed!
You’re about to set some one-sided rules before your gift pops out of the bushes a few feet away.
“My baby!” you quietly call, leaving Yoongi’s side to crouch down. “Come here, love. You hungry?”
She cautiously makes her way over, sniffing your hand when you leave it outstretched. After careful consideration, the little one nudges your palm, letting you glide fingers down her back as she approaches her bowls.
“You’re so tiny,” you observe with slight pity. “We’ll get you well fed in no time—”
“Hey, Sugar! Oh, is this her? She’s gorgeous, no wonder!”
Huh? Sugar?
Who else knows the cat’s name already?
Your neck almost strains when you look up to see who’s talking. When you notice an older lady donning a really comfy, fluffy robe, you feel like it looks super familiar before you stand.
“Hi,” you greet before introducing yourself, extending your hand and shaking the woman’s soft, delicate fingers. “Sorry if we were too loud.”
“Call me Miss Dion. And you weren’t too loud this time, sweetie,” she says with a wink, glancing down at the kitty eating what you laid out. “Was just comin’ out to water my plants so it’s good to see you’re here, too. Looks like he finally got some sense back in that head of his.”
“I’m standing right here, you know.”
“Oh, I know!”
Back? How long has she known about you? Do her and Yoongi actually converse regularly? Their banter is… Really adorable.
It’s making you fall even more in love with the man biting his cheek in amusement.
Wait.
Is Yoongi Sugar?
That is so fucking cute you could cry.
“I’m back to take care of this guy,” you explain with a head tilt. “And the little one, of course.”
It’s when you say this that Miss Dion notices the bandages on Yoongi’s face, concern pushing down her brows. “What happened to you, young man?”
“Nothing to worry about.”
“You sure? I got some ointment in my kitchen somewhere—”
“It’s all good—”
“We’ll take it,” you cut him off, not looking but feeling his stare on your face. “How much do we owe you?”
“Oh, don’t you worry about that.” With a snuff at Yoongi and a smile your way, Miss Dion heads inside to fetch a bottle.
In the meantime, you give your lover a quiet stare before bending down to run your hands over soft fur.
“Papa Sugar is gonna need that so he can’t argue,” you coo to your cat, cheekily ignoring Yoongi’s sputtering puff of air above your head.
“Papa Sugar? Really?”
You glance up to his smile with a mischievous one of your own. “What, you wanna be Sugar Daddy instead?”
The swirl in your belly is instant. Because Yoongi can only look out into the distance, biting his lip and failing to hide his grin.
Sigh. If only he didn’t have those injuries across his face. You’d push him back into the door and slam it shut if it was any other day.
Patience, patience, patience.
Those hits aren’t gonna heal with just one round of gauze.
When you have to replace the cotton patches, at least you’ll have something to help.
—
—
It’s not until you’re about to tuck in for the night that Yoongi approaches your side of the bed. Judging by the headphones slung around his neck, he’s about to work, so you assume he’s just coming to give you a kiss goodnight.
But after he does exactly that, he asks you a question that warms your chest,
“Where’s your keys.”
“In there,” you motion to the nearest wall, bag propped right under his windowsill. “Inside pocket, I think.”
Yoongi bends with a prolonged grunt, slowly rummaging until he finds your jangling keyring with its charms. When he grabs it, he silently sits on the edge up against your stomach, body heat permeating your tee while he fiddles with the clasps.
God, you’re so in trouble. You know exactly what he’s doing.
Unlike the last time he offered you complete access to his place, this time he didn’t even hesitate. And the way he secures a key amongst the loop, it’s his silent way of cementing permanence.
That’s not another key for you to borrow.
Because that key is yours.
—
—
continued in angel, pt. 2
pitstop inbox before pt2!! | join the server!
a/n: holy crap we're doing it we are actually back in the main storyline?! how do we feel right now because i am over the damn moon diving into this story again. here's a slight pitstop before you make your way over to part two (THE CONTINUATION IS IN A REBLOG!) so take a breather before heading into the resttttttt
++ feedback box:
⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like!
⇥ here!
++ more links:
⇥ masterlist
⇥ three tangerines masterlist
a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it yet, so we'll keep it goin!
note goal: since we're back in main storyline, upping the goal! 1,000 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tan14 will be dropped as soon as it's done! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
title: angel (m)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)
series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2 | fugue pt. 3 | fugue pt. 4
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: right before he leaves, your brother’s conversation makes your heart stop. and it forces you to make a decision that you need to stick to, no matter what the future holds.
note: it’s been.. two years since the last main storyline update. many things have happened since then, i’ve learned more about myself, and touched more grass than ever. but we’re finally back to our scheduled tangerine programming, and it feels so surreal. incredibly grateful to everyone that has stayed, and welcome to all of you that are new to the 3tan universe!
note 2: also, happy birthday to @somebodydoesluv, @al3ejandra, and anyone else who is celebrating around this time! may you all celebrate a prosperous and healthy year around the sun.
warnings: how it starts LOL, language, explicit scenes, angst, tension, overthinkers overthinking, sibling fights, abandonment mentions, yoongi in those gd glasses again, jimin…?, obligatory kissing warning, everyone being a ride or die i’m weeping, we give the yoongi the business oops, ermm did i say angst, crying, hand holding since it’s a warning now, weapon mentions, wound mentions, yoongi on the phone :), blanket kicks incoming, feelings at an all time peak, fluff??, bro best bro, yoongi in tanks….., vmin best vmin, reader is so strong, but both siblings just need hugs man😩, studio………. time……?, things get so nasty i was blushing y’all ngl
explicit warnings: under the cut and dear god help me lmao
mood: off my face - justin bieber ; ojitos lindos - bad bunny
drop date: july 14th, 2026, 7:17pm est
word count: 25.5k…….. :’)))
explicit warnings: cursing, thigh riding, cowgirl, oral (m rec), naughty studio time(??), couch sex, rough sex, giving yoongi the business, bold as fuck reader, choking, spanking, penetrative sex, kissing deserves to be here too lol, alexa play no hands by waka flocka, deep throating, hair/head tugging, nipple play, yoongi in that gd tank, yoongi in those gd glasses, teasing, titty fucking hello!!!!, stripping while he watches…. yeah, missionary, sub!3tanyoongi?????, scratching, multiple orgasms, protected sex, emotional sex, the glasses.. stay on??, good god they’re so hot i’m blushing
—
—
It’s morning when Jimin gets a call.
Shifting in sheets that aren’t his, he sleepily blinks once before eyeing the blue light with a squint, wondering who dares wake him up before his natural rise. What time even is it anyway? It’s gotta be an ungodly hour if his circadian rhythm is disturbed.
Still, he grabs his cell from the nightstand, flinching at the movement behind him and inwardly slinging out curses.
Because waking him up is one thing.
But if anyone disturbs Taehyung he’s gonna give them hell—
Min Yoongi: Incoming Call
Shit.
Jimin yanks the covers off, rushing out of bed and snapping Tae awake anyway. For what? Don’t fucking know, but they’re ready. Wherever. Whatever. They already stayed up clutching their phones until they physically couldn’t keep their eyes open.
Because as much as Yoongi assured him nothing would happen, Jimin still couldn’t let go of his car keys.
Answering slow, he feels his chest winding and winding, eyes locked with Taehyung while they both wait on edge, “…Yoongi?”
“Yeah.”
Thank the fucking stars.
Yoongi’s okay. He’s on the line. He made it to morning or whatever fucking time it is, and he’s doing exactly what he said he would.
And it’s enough, enough, enough.
Burns zing up the corners of Jimin’s eyes, and he swipes hard as Taehyung moves, likely to hear what’s happening and even more likely to just be by his side.
Jimin is grateful for either one. But he tries to keep composure as he croaks, “You better have woken me up for a reason.”
The slight hum on the line induces a wobbly smile. “You slept?”
“Fuck you,” Jimin shakily laughs, wiping liquid relief from an eye before Taehyung’s thumb brushes tenderly over the other. His gaze is thankful while continuing, “We did but not much.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Sniffling, Jimin walks to Tae’s door, letting him into the hallway first and finally drinking in the sight of his ass in those sweats. Because he can finally function like a normal, smitten loser again. “We’ll come over so we can—”
“No need.”
“What?” Nope. Back to panic mode. And judging from his boyfriend’s posture, Taehyung has backpedaled into that, too. “What do you mean no need?”
There’s a slight pause on the line, and small noises make their way through the speaker. It sounds like bedsheets, but it also sounds like…
“She’s still sleeping.”
Oh.
Oh, shit.
A tidal wave of relief crashes into Jimin’s ducts as he hangs his head, palming his face caught in a heavy tide of emotion. When he turns, Taehyung fairs no better, his eyes red and fingers wiping at a perfect, perfect cheek. One of them sniffles, but Jimin can’t tell if it’s him or not, because his vision is blurry and his heart is beating, beating, beating again.
Whether you know it or not, whatever you did last night may have just changed Yoongi’s entire life.
Because Jimin knows this man through and through. Years of picking up his habits and tells didn’t amount to nothing. It’s how he was able to sense exactly when to intervene, and how he knew exactly what that hauntingly hollow tone in Yoongi’s voice meant when he busted in that day.
The tone he hears now? The man that just spoke on the line?
That is a Min Yoongi so in love he can’t even hide it over the phone.
Fuck.
Gathering himself, Jimin squeaks out, “I… I’m glad you…” What the fuck does he say? Every thought jams in his throat so hard he has to hand the phone off.
Thankfully, Taehyung perfectly continues his thoughts, voice scratching rocks under a waking river, “We’re glad you’re both safe.”
“Mm.”
“So when’s the wedding?”
Jimin huffs through a fresh batch of tears, clearing his face before grinning at Tae very seriously awaiting an answer. Honestly, at this point? It’s not far-fetched. Jimin’s seeing your future clearer than his present, and maybe he will be a fun uncle sooner than he thinks.
If only Yoongi would just get the fucking talk with your brother over with.
But Jimin understands the hesitation. If he were in that same position, there’s no telling when he would be courageous enough to stand up to the guy. There’s a reason he’s quick to command a room, and his lifelong mission to protect his younger sister made him grow up a lot faster than everyone else.
Still… Yoongi just deserves to be happy. And you’re the very obvious answer to helping with that.
As much as he may have wanted some chances of his own, Jimin is grateful you found your way into his best friend’s heart. Not just anyone is invited inside, and even less people can truly be allowed to stay.
And you’re probably the only one that has permanent residence.
“You guys should get some sleep.”
Taehyung pouts right on cue, and Jimin can’t fight those sleepy, droopy eyes. “You didn’t answer me.”
Cute as fuck! He must be stopped. Taking the phone, Jimin speaks into the line fully recovered, shooting his cheeky partner a teasing glare, “We will if you get some, too.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Got some things to do at the studio—”
“No!” They reject together, both equally as appalled because what the fuck kinda answer is that?
“After what happened last night? Are you crazy?”
“What happened to spending time with her? Men!”
“He’s going on a business trip, I can’t lose to him.”
“So what?” Tae asks before they both share an even further confused look. Yoongi may be a lovesick fool but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be a dumbass! “You’re just gonna leave her alone?”
There’s a sigh on the line before Jimin plants a hand on his hip. “Not just that. You gotta rest, too, bro. If she doesn’t tell you to take it easy or at least get checked—which she will—we’re going over there to annoy you.”
“You serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious.” Jimin cocks his head and leans closer to the phone. “At least rest easy for the next couple days. Especially if you have all this time to see each other.”
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. Your brother is leaving for his trip and Yoongi caught some unfortunate hits to his ribs. The dude basically has a free pass to spend the whole week with you, and he’s not even taking full advantage of it? Oh, the things Jimin has to say about the thin line of work ethic and relationship effort.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about it for a long time,” Taehyung cuts in before Jimin can pop off, walking away into the living room.
It’s fine. Let him figure out that you aren’t a woman he can just leave. Frankly? That would tickle Jimin to no end to see Yoongi folding his plans so fast just to be with you.
But he spares him the tirade only because you’re fast asleep right next to him. “Thank you for calling, man.”
“Said I would.”
“I know.”
Because above all else, Jimin is happy to hear that voice. Even if it’s obvious he’s a little banged up from last night, it’s still Yoongi. In one piece. That’s all Jimin wanted, and he can’t thank you enough,
“Don’t overwork yourself, and stay with her as long as you can.”
There’s a small laugh on the other end. “I plan on it, Chim.”
And Jimin catches on to why. “I’m holding you to that then.”
—
—
Dawn breaks through open blinds, stretching its orange tint across a clean, spotless table.
You don’t know what got you up so early. But when you peer into the kitchen, you tell yourself you woke up right on time.
Because seeing Yoongi when you’re wide awake is better than any dream you’ll ever have.
Not because of his appearance, even though the sight of him sends a pang through your chest. No. It’s the way he’s quietly prepping a morning meal, using the arm on his better side that’s not sporting a nasty hit to the ribs, without you even asking.
Bits of sunlight dance right out of your eyes.
The effort. The consideration. This man shouldn’t be lifting a finger, yet here he is cooking before you even left his bed. Isn’t this the same man that got caught up in a fight hours ago? Isn’t this the same man you almost walked out on with a frozen heart?
Yes. But he’s also the same man that loves you. And you still can’t grasp that concept in any of the fingers playing with his tee you borrowed.
“Hi,” you whisper, telling him a thousand things.
To which he regards before smiling soft, voice travelling over linoleum and circling around your heart, “Morning, doll.”
Damn. You hear it. Yoongi’s sore as hell.
But instead of getting into that right away, you silently take residence by his side. Because this moment feels too delicate, and you admire his willingness to take care of you unprompted. You didn’t even know you’d eat before going back home.
With a hand warming his back, you wait until Yoongi’s done tossing food on the stove to peck his morning-chilled cheek. “Thank you for cooking,” you murmur, admiring those beautiful brown eyes. “Sleep okay?”
“Cus of you,” your lover softly responds, eyeing your lips before gliding back up to your gaze. “You?”
Ugh. He’s gotta know those glasses are so unfair. They’ve gotten you repeatedly before, and they’re certainly getting you now.
But you can’t help but deflate at the cuts behind those rims, while knowing there are even more bruises hiding underneath his oversized tee. How is Yoongi cooking right now? How is he even awake? “Same.”
“Good.”
These instant, deep shivers at his deeper morning voice will never, ever go away. But anything you wanna do about them isn’t important right now. Right now, you need to make sure Yoongi is either okay, or finds a way to get better.
Sliding your hands down the slopes of his chest, you delicately rest one on his ribs. “Does it still hurt?”
Yikes. That wince is enough. But Yoongi doesn’t shy away from your touch, and you appreciate the way he stays honest. “It’s sore. But I should be good.”
“You gonna get it checked?”
There’s a slight upward tilt of his lips. “Not right now.” At least the honesty persists, as much as you don’t want him following the typical manly response to hospital visits. “But I will if you want me to.”
“Please go,” you gently urge, lest you disturb the soft morning dew before it melts with the sunrise. “For me?”
Only sizzles from the stove fill the space until Yoongi nods, and his voice is just as low and tender, “I’ll go after work.”
Oh. “You’re working today?”
Just like breakfast, you didn’t expect this, either. Frankly, you figured neither of you were gonna even think about work, much less go. Sure, he’s due a hospital visit and you owe some friends immediate explanations for your absence. But other than that, shouldn’t Yoongi be resting?
Does his craft truly mean that much?
Well, shit. You gotta respect his work ethic, that’s for damn sure. Because you would sequester yourself to your bedroom and have endless dates with your television if you were sporting a good jab or two. This music thing must mean more to Yoongi than you previously thought. And who are you to step on that dream?
Suddenly, all thoughts and concerns flee from the kiss on your cheek.
“I’ll stay if you stay,” he says, turning to move the pan and scrunching his face with a grunt. Fuck.
“I…” Shit, you were gonna go back to the house anyway. And from Yoongi’s smartass smirk, you can tell he already knew that. “Just need to check on him, too. And he doesn’t have a car right now, so. I should at least give him a ride.”
“Figured.” In a move so domestic your head spins, Yoongi turns your body and gently pats your butt. “Now go sit. Let’s eat and figure this out.”
—
—
As you devour a flawless meal and clean your dishes, you plan out the day. You’ll head home and check on your brother while Yoongi heads to the studio, and then you’ll rendezvous with your friends to hang out until he’s done with work. They’re already lighting up your phone like no one’s business—especially Yuri.
Yoongi flicks the sink off before you both head to his bedroom, and you melt at the way he slowly wraps his arms around your front halfway there, all four of your legs slowing to close the rest of the distance.
What’s he doing? This is joyfully new, but you have a pretty tight deadline. Warming his forearm and your own cheeks, you chuckle out, “We have to hustle, old man.”
“You hustle me all the time,” he accuses into your shoulder blade, kissing its ridge and making you reconsider walking out the door entirely. “Lemme have this.”
Your second laugh is more subdued, and you’re right between his bed and desk when you lift both hands to hold him close. “You have everything I got,” you wisp into his skin, planting your lips once, twice before you feel his arms press further in. “So this is nothing.”
Seconds and silence slide by, the delicate veil of early morning still hovering around the room. When Yoongi doesn’t say anything, you make to turn and face him.
But you’re stopped before your heart skips.
“I could stay like this all day,” he admits, voice so low it rumbles through your bones. “And it’d be perfect.”
“What, you don’t wanna see my face?” You joke with a giggle. “Rude, but that’s fine.”
Yoongi only buries his nose further, his glasses sliding against your skin peeking from his shirt. “I’m much braver right here, doll.”
Oh.
The leap your heart does is more of a dive, plummeting into the seafoam swirling around your feet. All the words you want to respond with jump off right after, leaving you with nothing but the clouds in your eyes.
You don’t quite know what he means by that. But it feels like those six words hold the weight of a thousand, so you simply let another kiss on his smooth forearm linger. “Do you want me to go with you?”
A puff of laughter warms you right through and, despite his earlier admission, Yoongi does slowly spin you around.
And when you follow, you realize you’re much braver when you aren’t facing him, too.
“It’s not that, babe,” he says through a dashing curve. “But the offer was cute.”
“I take it back then.”
“Damn!”
Both of your laughs whoosh out and collide, sweeping as Yoongi pinches your side and you flinch towards the bed. “You fucker—!”
Before you know it, your back hits a comforter before a weight presses your stomach, emotions clashing as you’re elated and shy and immediately concerned for your boyfriend’s side. “Baby, be careful—”
Lips capture yours, sucking up your warning before a hand slides under your head. Sighing, you arch into his chest, feeling the weight of his chains slip across your breasts.
Euphoria isn’t an adequate enough word to describe how you feel. Where there used to be flutters in your ribcage now reside strong, powerful wing beats, gusts of want and desire lifting you off the ground and launching you into clear skies. Starlight of every color exists within each kiss you share, and your fingers feebly grab his tee to keep you from falling back down to earth.
“If we don’t go now,” Yoongi rasps before sliding his mouth against yours, “We’re never going anywhere again.”
“I know,” you whisper, willingly letting him kiss you once more, “Is that a promise?”
“Fuck, I wish.”
You do, too. But you know you’re running out of time for what you need to do. And weren’t you just saying you had to respect his aspirations? Shit, you really do need to snap out of it. “Come on,” you order with a pat to his chest. “We have all week to do this. We got time.”
Turns out, you’re still amongst the heavens. The way Yoongi’s looking at you? This is the closest you’ll ever get to being held by an angel.
Did he get more handsome overnight? Or is it the light in his eyes sustained since his confession in the kitchen? You don’t quite know, and you may never pinpoint why, but the tug he has on your heart spans space and time.
And you’ll run through both forever to keep meeting him again and again.
Burns prick your eyes, but he mercifully stands before he can catch any evidence of your yearning.
Just like that, the two of you bounce back to getting ready, with him sliding notebooks and headphones in a backpack while you change into your own clothes. As you sling your bag over a shoulder, he reaches for the closest hoodie, and you wordlessly make your way to the front door.
You really do hope he gets looked at today. But just like the calm after a storm, you want to encourage him gently rather than shove him out. At least he seems receptive to your gentle suggestions.
But after you ask one more time and he simply nods, you lower your eyes to his kicks. “Sorry if I’m nagging. I’d just worry less if you went right away, that’s all.”
“You aren’t nagging, babe.” Your freshly bloomed lover reaches out to hold your wrist, smoothing a rough thumb over your skin. Fucking hell, you can’t help but frown at the gashes and cuts marring his knuckles. “I’ll go as soon as I can.”
Not just his hands, but his face. His ribs. And maybe other places you haven’t even seen yet.
You don’t wanna leave his side.
But you have to head out before your brother leaves. Things need to get patched up before he flies out into more stress, and you owe him an apology for walking out when he was still aching. Based on Yoongi’s physical state? Your brother could be hiding some big wounds and you didn’t even wanna talk to him.
However. Was last night necessary? Absolutely. You cannot entertain the possible outcomes had you not tried hard enough to get through Yoongi’s door. His eyes were so dulled, his hands felt so cold. What would have happened if you didn’t force yourself inside?
Why was that guitar smashed to pieces?
This is also why you refuse to leave. So many questions, so many things you still don’t know. Like what all happened when you were separated? And how in the hell is this man in love with you?
“I don’t wanna go,” you confess, instantly encased in his arms and warmth. “I’d much rather keep kissing you.”
“True,” he says with a resigned huff, shifting his glasses with an adorable nose scrunch. If only he didn’t have so many little red lines of conflict on his face. “But we both have stuff to take care of, so let’s get all that done first.”
“Ugh, fine.” Your groan is more teasing than serious, and Yoongi’s laugh is nothing but understanding.
Damn. You still feel it. You really don’t wanna go. Be it the rawness of last night still on your skin, or the confessions still on your tongues, you just wanna stay by his side. “Sorry,” you breathe out, lacing your fingers to pepper love along his strong, reddened ridges. “I’m serious. I don’t wanna leave you right now.”
Walking out of Yoongi’s door just doesn’t feel right. Even if he’s right there and will be following you out. Is this feeling normal? Are you supposed to feel this tightly woven to someone? Because the stitching between your hearts has only gotten stronger in the tempest of last night, as if you bonded together just to hold on for dear life.
Maybe that’s exactly what happened. And it’s exactly why you can barely take one step out of his place.
“Then don’t.”
Not one second passes before your chin is held, and lips slide so tenderly across yours that they may as well melt into your touch. Your reaction is quickly swooped into his mouth, and everything falls away as you let him seize your every thought. Lightning from last night zips out of your limbs, your toes, your fingers clasping his loose tee.
You might just cry where you stand.
How have his kisses gotten even better? How have you never felt this way even though you’ve done this far more times than you were ever supposed to? It should be impossible, and yet, this man finds even more ways to astound you.
Yoongi slips a hand over your cheek, giving one more beautiful push of his lips as he confesses, “I don’t wanna leave you, either.”
And your breath stutters onto his features. “You, too?”
Slow, he kisses your cheek, the clear rim of his specs skimming your nose. When he draws back, you look right into his eyes, wondering why he’s watching your mouth instead.
“Me, too.” Yoongi kisses your other side with a quiet peck. “Fuck, me, too.”
You fucking hate what you have to do, but you don’t have a choice.
With one last lingering kiss, you both gather enough courage to set out and do what you must.
—
—
Your house is already a flurry of activity as you enter to see your brother in the kitchen, packing his leather duffle that’s a constant companion on his trips.
Of course. The memory of him purchasing the lavish accessory pops into your head every time you watch him scurry around, dimples ever present on his proud cheeks. It’s almost enough to make you smile yet again.
But you can’t when the same face is currently scratched to hell. Just like Yoongi’s, if not worse.
Fuck, is he really gonna travel looking like that?
“Hey,” he rasps out, still fighting off slumber. “You’re back earlier than I thought.”
“Wanted to check on you before we left.” Fuck, your voice sounds like it’s being forced through a clogged pipe. Loosen the hell up! “And dude. Put some bandaids on, yeah?”
“Yeah, just give me a sec. Making sure I have everything before my ride gets here.”
“Huh?” He got a ride? You’re here now so you can take him to the airport. “You sure you don’t need me to drive you?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. I didn’t know you were coming back.”
Shit. His body seems just as angular as it did last night. Which, quite frankly, could still be from what went down in the lot.
Because even though you see both men banged up, you suddenly realize you don’t actually know what all transpired.
After all, there wasn’t much talk of it after you walked into the tempest of Yoongi’s living room.
Of course, you aren’t gonna bring it up just this second. There are other things to ask about and make sure of first. “Wallet? Phone? Passport?”
“Yup, yup, uhh.. Yup.”
Zippers sling in the quiet morning air as you continue, “And you’re coming back on Friday, right?”
“Oh.. Nah.” When you start crossing the kitchen, your brother hauls his leather bag over his better shoulder. Honestly, no one would be able to tell the other one’s bruised with his suit on. That thing damn well covers everything except the cuts on his face and hands. “Saturday.”
You pause in your journey to the medicine cabinet. “Wait.. Saturday? The release party’s on Friday.”
“Yeah.. I know.”
What the fuck? That’s bullshit they’re keeping him longer than they have to. Struggling to understand how corporate can keep your brother on a leash and get away with it, you urge, “Tell them to at least let you go home a day early. Don’t you wanna support your friends?”
“You mean Yoongi?”
A zing of terror zips through your eyes, freezing every vein in an instant.
The fuck was that question? Never mind. Stay calm stay calm stay fucking calm. “Uhh, yeah, he’s one of them? But the other guys, too, right? I know you care about them and this is huge.”
Mercifully, your sibling just shakes his head and waves you off. “Don’t you think I already tried? I don’t wanna miss it but I don’t have a choice. Conference schedule is pretty tight and I’m heading the panel on Friday.”
“Is it in the morning? You can fly out after—”
“Why are you fighting so hard?”
“Why aren’t you fighting harder!”
Okay, what in the hell is happening right now? Screw optics and how this must look for you, your brother needs to be there. Him and Yoongi are the tightest of friends, the most ride or die duo you’ve ever seen. You can’t picture a timeline where he misses this monumental moment, and it’s starting to really upset you that he’s barely trying.
“You think I’m not fighting for it?”
“I certainly don’t think you’re trying enough—”
“Alright, you know what?” Hard steps surge forward as you stand rigid, a duffle hastily dumped onto tile. “You don’t know what I’ve tried. You don’t even know if I even told him yet.”
Fucking shit. You hold his stare before turning away, tossing out the idea of bandages entirely and searing footsteps into the hallway—
“Or do you.”
Before icing over with the unforgiving frost of zero gravity space.
Slow, you turn, not quite facing him but not backing down, either. “…Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You talkin’? What else has he been doing to you?”
Oh. Fuck that.
Doing to you?
Fuck all of this. This is too much to handle right now and you know you’re gonna snap if he keeps pushing because you are not having this conversation right before he leaves. You’ve already thought about this before, right? You cannot fuck with his head right before business trips because he needs to be on and locked in.
But now he’s fucking with your temper and those are some choice fucking words pulled out of his ass.
You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately threatened this man to his face and meant it before, and it tears a sharp corner of your heart, “You better be very careful. With whatever you wanna say next.”
The air proves too thick to slice. While your body stands aflame, your brother is iced over, brimming with an energy that damn near takes physical form. “All I’m saying is? I find out some fucking bullshit is going on—”
No no no, not now.
Reacting fast is your only instinct, brain haywire and fizzling fizzling boiling. Harsh, you spin on your heel and shout the first thing you can think of, “Oh, come on—”
“You better hope to god you’re ready for what’s coming—”
“Stop!” Fuck fuck fuck, this is so frustrating because your head is exploding and your body is screaming to just tell him already. Fuck the consequences at this point this is ludicrous.
Doing to you? Yoongi? How dare he speak about his best friend like that how dare he accuse him without outright saying the words all you have to do is tell your brother how wrong he’s got it.
But you can’t be the one. Yoongi said he would, and he probably took months to get to that point of strength—and healing, from what you can tell.
This is between them. Them. You have to honor that, as much as you wanna just confess everything now and deal with it yourself.
But goddamn your brother is pulsing with anger and it’s leaking into your own charged air.
What does he think is happening? Does he think Yoongi’s just, what, playing you? He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. Yoongi’s been nothing but the best thing that’s ever happened to you and shit your heart hurts because…
Your brother is valid in thinking that.
How foolish. Didn’t you guard your heart from Yoongi for the longest? Didn’t everything start because you figured you knew who he was because of his reputation? You got him all wrong, too. So how can you be mad at your brother for doing the same?
Fuck, think. Just think before someone gets hurt.
Because if you aren’t careful, someone—or multiple someones—will get hurt in seconds. You have to bear the pain alone right now. To protect them both, you have to keep your trembling mouth shut.
And? You have to admit that something isn’t fair here. Not to you, not to Yoongi, but to him. Last night was rough as fuck but, while you both got to have raw, beautiful closure, the one standing in front of you had to go to sleep in an empty house.
So chill the fuck out.
Breathing to cool down, you tense and loosen, tense and loosen. “I get it. You’re angry, and you have a lot going on. But,” you bite down on your lip to keep going. “We’re talking about something else. We’re talking about you, and I’m still pissed you even let those guys goad you into a fight. What are we, twelve?”
Seething, your sibling takes the switch of pace. But it is not what you want to hear. “Are you seri—? What the hell was I supposed to do? That son of a bitch grabbed you—”
“I know,” you recoil. “Don’t tell me like you were there, because you weren’t.”
Finally—finally—those angry lines in his face vanish.
But they make way for something much worse than anger. Because your older brother, someone that’s been there for you your whole life..
Looks absolutely stricken over the one time he wasn’t.
Damn it.
Regretful, you drop your shoulders in exhaustion and quiet compromise. When you continue, your voice is much softer, “But I told you: they were. Your friends, they were there because they knew you wanted that. Jimin got me away, Yoongi took me home and stayed.”
You really have got to stop saying his name like you love him. It could start becoming too obvious.
Shuddering, you shift your weight, folding your arms and shrinking into yourself.
That night, despite Yoongi’s best and most gentle efforts, still clings to where that loser touched you at Dalo. You hate that you haven’t gotten over it, and you loathe the way you still rub over the same spot. Over, and over. “What did you want him to do? Leave me here?”
“No.”
“Exactly. And he didn’t.” You adjust your stance again, making an impromptu gamble as you decide to let some truth leak out. Because your brother is owed at least this much. “And fine, you wanna know something? We do talk more because of it.”
Your brother’s head snaps up, and you brace. Because if you show any shred of weakness or hesitation, he’ll see right through your weak attempt to hide most of the truth,
“But don’t ever accuse him of doing anything to me. That was fucked up to say and you know it.”
“Fuck.” In agreement, he rubs his hair back. “It was. I’m sorry.”
“Trust me,” you swallow, hating that this is how things have to be for now. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s never.. Never done anything to me, anyway.”
It’s not a lie. Everything he’s done has been with you. For you. Because of you.
But your heart’s in anguish as it sinks. Because that expression on your older sibling’s face can only be one thing.
Pure. Utter. Relief.
Fire singes your eyes before you can quell the flame. It’s the hardest technical truth to swallow.
Sure, he doesn’t have anything to worry about as far as you being safe. And on top of that, he doesn’t have to worry about any fake shit because Yoongi confessed to you last night.
But as far as his best friend sleeping with and now dating his sister behind his back? That is still very much sitting right in the center of the table.
And now you’re starting to see just how fucked all three of you are as soon as you sit down to eat the truth.
But Yoongi said he’d be the one to tell, so he will.
This feeling is so fucking miserable, though.
In the end, your brother is effectively convinced, raking a hand across his head and sighing. “Jimin told me what all went down at Dalo, I just… Last night was… Fucked up.”
“Well, yeah.”
“No. See, this is just like what you said to me. You can’t say it like you were there.”
It’s your stomach’s turn to twist. “So? You were scratched and bruised to hell, and Y…” Shut up, shut up. You’re not supposed to know about the state of anyone else. “And you were… quieter.”
“Because of what happened, dude.”
You blink. “What… What happened?”
Your brother looks at you—really looks at you.
And suddenly, your gut flares in terror, storming in an instant across your abdomen.
“That bitch pulled something on us.”
Your heart.
It’s in freefall.
“Wait… What?” You can’t even form more than one syllable at a time, your legs turning gelatinous and knees starting to give out. “No… What are you…?”
What the fuck did he just say? That bitch pulled a what?
Your sibling slowly walks toward you once again, watching like he’s just waiting for you to say anything. Do anything.
But you’re a complete statue because all you can think about is the horror of something happening and the relief that nothing happened all at once.
Was Yoongi too scared to mention that part? Is this why he was holding back and shaking every time he reached out to touch you? Even this morning, he was so…
You’ve never seen him like that. Is this why?
Your mind is swirling and crashing, overlapping each passing thought and scream running through your head. “I’m so sorry,” you hitch out, “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Didn’t wanna scare you,” he sighs out. Putting both hands on his hips, your brother stops feet away, visibly still shook as he pierces wooden planks with his stare. “But he pulled it right before Yoongi… and if it weren’t…Fuck.”
Burns flare and slice through your eyes when he has to pause. What is he trying to say? Pulled what?
Before Yoongi what?
Your brother continues, and your throat tightens. “If it weren’t for some random ass sirens, I… Things could’ve been so different.”
What the fuck is happening. What the hell are you hearing?
“It was probably dumb as fuck. But I was so fucking angry,” he grits out, watery eyes crushed looking your way. “So fucking mad at how he was talking about you, I.. Walked right up to him and told him to fuck off.”
You can’t even breathe.
“I still feel it,” he quietly adds, fingers pressed against his side. “Right here.”
“Fuck,” you finally choke out, eyes on fucking fire.
“But all I knew was to keep you all safe,” he says, with hardened resolve and a wobbly chin. “And that’s exactly what I did. I did that shit, even if that meant—”
Tears fling out of your eyes, flowing hot down your cheeks because you wouldn’t want any of them to go out that way. Nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened and yet your body is acting as if something did and it hurts.
Your brother is there as soon as you crumple forward, letting you bury your head in his chest and sob your heart out. For him, for his friends, and for all the time you had with the man you love so, so dearly.
If anything happened to your brother before you came clean… If anything happened before you and Yoongi could even…
Suddenly, you feel equal weights of guilt. For running out on your brother. And for almost walking out on Yoongi.
You decide an apology is in order for both of them, and all the understanding in the world for Yoongi’s frosted demeanor as soon as you get him alone again.
And you are one hundred percent going to tell your brother everything once he’s back.
The tears cannot stop, and you’re sure you are crying unimpeded in a pressed and primmed suit. “I’m so sorry,” you keep repenting like a prayer. “This is all my fault.”
“No—”
“You almost—”
“Hey, stop.” He yanks you back, both of your faces soaked with saltwater. “What did I say before? I threw the first swing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But it led to all this, I just.. I just feel so fucking stupid.”
“Don’t. Hey, look at me.” Firm but gentle, he holds you at arm’s length, forcing you to face him. “Maybe we’re both stupid, but you weren’t the idiot. I was.”
You feel so many conflicting things in your soul.
What would you have done if Yoongi was in critical condition? What would you have done differently if your brother was instead? Are they the same? Are the two situations really so different anymore?
No they aren’t they aren’t they aren’t.
“Please don’t do that again,” you shake out. “Even if it was for me, if I ever lost you, I...”
“You know I can’t promise anything.” He furrows his brows when you eye him with anger and sadness. “But nothing like that is happening again. Especially with the same dudes.”
“Okay.”
A vicious tornado of emotions sends your whole body into agonizing pain. This isn’t what you expected at all, and it’s causing your limbs to lock at the bends. Too many scenarios are jangling about yet you can’t ask for specifics because that will just make it even more real.
A nightmare is somehow better once you know it ends with you waking up. “I’m… gonna need some time to process everything.”
“I know. And I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but… You deserve to know the things I get into.”
Ah.
The irony is not lost on you.
“At least, if they involve you. We learned our lesson. You were right to tell us off.”
God. You feel numb.
“Thanks,” you murmur, suddenly immensely tired. “I think I need more sleep.”
A blaring honk sounds outside the house, and you both flinch at the noise.
And your throat burns at the way your brother instinctively swept you behind his back.
When you realize what it is, you know what has to come next.
And he’s the first to react as he turns to face you again, “Alright. I’m heading out, just remember to go get my baby when she’s fixed, yeah?”
“Do you have to go?”
Wait.
The question seems to startle him as much as it does you.
How did you blurt it right out before even registering the words? Why does your heart clench at the sight of those eyes looking so pained?
Why does everything feel so shaky within these walls that were always your home?
“I do,” he says, voice tight. “I’m sorry.”
And why the fuck do you feel sad he’s leaving?
“No, no, it’s.. Of course you have to.” You can’t help the lump in your throat from bobbing, the regret in your limbs as they barely move at your side. “I dunno why I asked, I guess I just..”
There’s no response to your sniffle.
“Sorry for yelling,” you squeak out. “I just feel really queasy.”
For a lot more reasons than one.
“We all made it out,” your brother whispers. “That’s what matters.”
“Will you… Will you at least try to be back for the party?”
The man swallows with his brows knit tight, then attempts to crack the tiniest smile. “You know I will. That’s my guy.”
“Okay.” You nod, sniffling again. After what he just told you? You know he’ll do anything for the ones he loves. “See you there.”
Your brother rubs a comforting palm over your head before turning, heading for the door and grabbing his leather duffle.
When he stops to glance at you one more time, you give a little wave of your hand before watching the door click shut.
Chest caving as you collapse to the ground in tears.
—
—
The need to call Yoongi burns so harshly your fingers damn near set your top aflame.
But he’s at work, and you can’t fuck things up right when you’re approaching the finish line. You almost did with your brother, and that gave you twelve heart attacks in the span of minutes.
Still. Your chest aches so much that a thirteenth could very well be approaching. You don’t even realize you’re bracing the hallway wall for support until you try to stand, back sore and aching from bending so far for so long.
What did your brother mean to say about Yoongi? What did that coward pull on them? Do you even want to know what happened?
Fighting back tears, you reach down for your phone, shakily typing out a message only to erase it. Then again. And again.
And again.
Giving up, you forcefully swallow all your worries, cringing at the bitterness of the unknown and the burnt molasses of hidden truths.
It’s going to be okay. No matter what you think or imagine in your head, they made it out, they made it out, they are all alive.
That’s the only reason you can move forward, each step getting you from your room. To your bathroom.
And back again.
—
—
After showering, you feel lighter and refreshed, though the soreness between your legs has yet to leave.
But you wouldn’t want it any other way, as it’s another reminder of Yoongi’s apparent brush with survival. His broken living room spurned the creation of your bond, your devotion to him as he confessed before you gave him your utmost trust in his sheets.
The end is so close. As soon as this week is over, you’ll rip the last bit of peel from your pair of tangerines, baring all truths to your brother and facing the consequences.
Finally ready, you head to your car, opening your text threads with a plan: start slow.
Start with something that can be interpreted neutrally if anyone saw it on his phone screen, especially if your headstrong ex is in the room.
You [12:31pm]: how are you feeling?
Yoongi [12:34pm]: 1 Attachment
You close your door with brows furrowed.
Yoongi’s at the hospital?
That’s not what you expected at all.
Your chest swells with relief knowing he’s there, but you also wanna make sure he’s feeling okay. Especially his mental state after whatever the fuck your brother just dropped on you before leaving.
Goddamn, that’s going to gnaw at your brain until you find the right time and right amount of courage to ask about it. Because it’s very possible Yoongi won’t tell you.
Because it’s probably something he knows you won’t like.
Fuck.
You [12:34pm]: Loved an Attachment
You [12:34pm]: thank you for listening🤍 still sore?
Yoongi [12:35pm]: Yeah, but not bad. Just there.
Wait. He’s not at the studio. That means you can—
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you slowly say as you pull out into the street. “I’m driving now so this is easier.”
“Course. You going to Tae’s?”
“Maybe. I’m going to Yuri’s first.” You swallow, realizing that you didn’t tell him about what you let slip before driving over. “I.. Told her. About you.”
There’s a little bit of silence on the line, just some adjustments and muffled speaker sounds. “Sorry, just writing this down. What’s wrong with that?”
You huff through your nose. Gotta be those patient forms that always take forever to fill out. “Oh. Just more and more people knowing, is all.”
“Everyone’s gonna know eventually.”
You hold back a small smile. Because he’s right. “Yeah. I’m just tired of this feeling.”
“Like you’re hiding something.”
It’s your turn for silence. He doesn’t know how accurately that was played out today. The only answer you can provide is a curt, “Exactly.”
“Same.”
Wings beat around your heart again.
He wants this. Yoongi really, really wants this. And years ago, that outcome wouldn’t have even crossed your mind as an option.
“Thank you for going, baby.”
“The guys made me.”
You hum. “Which ones.”
After a pause, you hear a puff of amusement. “All of them at some point today, actually.”
All of them? Does that include your brother? Did they talk about the trip already?
Your laugh is bittersweet. “Well. Glad to know you can be forced by everyone else except me.”
“Hey, I was already gonna go because of you!” Yoongi quietly retorts, and you giggle at the pout in his words. “Just wanted to get a headstart on work first.”
You were right. He really does wanna go all out for his musical endeavors.
It’s extremely admirable, and wildly attractive, but it does come to a point. “As much as I love your passion, old man, I wanna keep you upright.”
He laughs soft into the line, and you think you can listen to that specific sound on an infinite loop. “That’s fair.”
“How long is it gonna take, you think?”
“Dunno. But I’ll keep myself busy until I’m out.”
Of course he will. You don’t doubt he won’t waste any time. Didn’t he bring journals in his backpack? You wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote ten thousand songs before being called in. “Just call me if you need anything, please?”
“Of course, babe.”
“Thank you,” you say with utmost sincerity. “If only my brother would be less stubborn and get checked, too.”
“He’ll probably do it once he gets there.”
“Did you convince him?”
“Nah. But once he knows I did, he’ll do it.”
“Figures.” You scoff. “Okay, I’m almost there. Let me know how it goes.”
“K. Bye, doll.”
You didn’t ask him what went down. But it’s not the time nor place, and you have plenty of chances this week to figure out when that would be—if at all.
“Talk soon.”
—
—
For a normally bustling household, Yuri’s house is quiet.
So it’s not shocking when you walk into the kitchen and see all your friends glance your way, slowly vacating their chairs with eyes never leaving your face. Even Reia is on high alert.
Did Yuri tell her? Did Yuri tell anyone else?
No. She’s a talker and loves spilling, but she promised. And when she promises something, you know you can trust her to keep it.
It’s what pours emotion in your voice as you meekly greet, “Hey, guys—”
A crushing hug closes your throat. Yuri’s the one that gets to you first, with Reia and Dominique waiting their turns to offer you healing, relieved embraces.
“What happened?”
“Scared us half to death.”
Dom puts you at arm’s length to give a once over, noting your face rubbed raw and eyes still a little bloodshot. Thankfully, her pupils hold more concern than disappointment. “You good?”
Your eyes wobble alongside your smile, and you think it’s enough proof. “More than that,” you still decide to whisper, and your heart beats again at her reaction.
“Thank god. I was ready to kick your ass if you weren’t.”
Heading up to Yuri’s room, you all wait until the door is swung back before mounting her canopy bed, sitting in a tight circle as you divulge everything.
Well. Almost everything.
You tell them that Yoongi is the one you’ve been seeing, how you went to check on him last night in a panic, and the terrifying reason why. When you mention the fight after the basketball game, all three of your friends erupt in questions, and you have to assure them everything turned out okay. Honestly, you also do this to assure yourself, too.
“So… Your brother’s just fine with all of this?” Reia asks, not noticing the tick of Dom’s jaw.
“Well,” you start with a higher pitch, earning a pair of groans. “He doesn’t exactly know yet—”
“Yup. He’s gonna murder him.”
“Yeah, should we say our condolences now or..”
“How long has this been going on?” Reia fires off another question that digs into your chest. “Was he the one you were seeing the whole time?”
“Yes,” you admit with a sigh. “I should’ve told you guys from the beginning, but. The whole thing just felt so delicate. But! We just started making things official recently, so..”
Dom turns your way. “Official how?”
Well. Here goes everything.
With a shaky breath, and lingering feelings from the time it happened, you reveal with watery eyes, “Yoongi… Told me he loves me.”
Both Yuri and Reia react in yelps, Dom’s gaze lowering as the girls reach to grab your hands.
Wait. What’s going on with her? She’s the one that knows the most, she’s the one that covered for you all those months ago. She has to be the one that is the least surprised at all this.
Blinking, you note to confront her about it later. Right now, you’re too focused on trying not to cry as your friends tumble out questions and support,
“He said it? Did you say it first or did he?”
“How did it happen! Oh, I’m so happy for you, babe—”
“Thank—thank you, Yuri,” you squeeze out as she hugs you close. “I couldn’t believe it, but he just.. Said it. We weren’t even doing anything, I was just.. Looking up what injuries he could have..”
And he confessed in the most Yoongi fashion he could have.
Looking back, it shouldn’t shock you at all. He’s always found ways to sweep you off your proverbial feet, so why would a confession plucked from the heavens be any different?
She lets you go before wiping her eyes, Reia and even Dom now sporting watery pupils, too.
“As much as I’m upset at you for not telling us, I’ve never been so happy for you.” When Yuri’s features crease in another sob, you sniffle along with the rest. “It’s been so long since you… And you really.. Fuck.”
You know what she’s trying to say, and the realization has your throat constricting so tight.
It’s been forever since you’ve had something like this, someone like this. When you and Jungkook were together, you told him that you loved him before he broke it off.
Sure, you bought the rings together, but he never uttered those words until years after when it didn’t even matter. And all your relationships after his were complete and utter bullshit, so you don’t think you ever even heard those three words and knew them to be true.
Yoongi was the first to ever say them so sincerely.
And that fact makes your ducts burn and burn.
And when Yuri finally speaks, it breaks the dam holding your real deluge back,
“I can’t think of anyone else that deserves to be loved more than you.”
All at once, everything streams out as you hunch forward. The pain of everything you’ve endured, the hopelessness of knowing you’d most likely end up alone, the excruciating prospect of a future that you never deemed bright, or peaceful, or comforting.
And to think that even this man could’ve been snatched away from you in a snap? Even more tears overlap with the ones you’re shedding, and you can’t even reach out to hug all three beautiful, angelic souls surrounding you with tight arms and sobs because your limbs lock at all bends.
It’s the exact release you need. All your friends supporting you, all the pent up anxiety of last night and today, the truth setting itself free in some capacity—all in the comfort of a plushie-laden bed you only doubted yourself in last time.
Everything’s gonna be alright. It has to be. You’re gonna fight for the ones you love, even if a war between them is inevitable.
It takes a few minutes of heavy silence for you all to separate, swiping and rubbing tears while letting out happy sniffles.
When you thank them for being understanding, they assure you it’s okay. And when you say you’re going to tell your brother soon, a force from the doorway has all of you leaping from lilac sheets,
“Tell him what?”
Jia stands firm with a laundry basket at her hip, and Yuri scoffs at her older sister for barging in. “A knock would’ve been nice!”
Fuck!
You can’t tell Jia of all people. If you spill anything about Yoongi, she’s one hundred percent going to tell your brother. They’re the same age, and run in pretty tight circles, so of course you are not going to risk it.
But you can tell her something else you’re going to tell your older sibling, so you fire out a half-truth,
“Tell him not to pick any other fights that could get him killed.”
Jia’s eyes zoom to your wrecked face, and she drops the laundry with haste before asking, “What happened? When? Tell me now.”
Huh. Maybe your brother has a type, if he’s still into Jia like he said before.
You feel a little spark in your chest as you let her know they all got in a scuffle after the basketball game, and another pang as she immediately abandons the room and clothes with a fierce declaration,
“I’m gonna kill them myself!”
“Don’t worry, I already hounded my brother!” You call out after her, sighing as Yuri shakes her head with a smile. “She gets like that when she’s really worried, huh.”
“Yeah..” Your friend leans to look around you, noticing the basket left alone on the ground. “And if she’s super fired up, she drops everything and doesn’t stop until it’s handled. Clearly.”
Maybe both older siblings really are similar.
The firestorm of an interruption seemed to break the tension in the room, with all of you finally relaxing and catching up. When they ask you questions, you answer what you can.
And when you divulge information that has your ears burning, their squeals and yells give you whole new reasons to live.
—
—
After a very comforting lunch Yuri’s mom cooked, you head to the bathroom when your phone suddenly vibrates through your palm.
Huh? That’s weird. You expect the name on your screen to be Taehyung, not Yoongi.
Not that it’s a bad thing. You’ve been waiting to hear from him, so this is a pleasant surprise.
Closing the door to the guest bathroom, you gaze at the calming sage decor with a smile. “Hi, how did it—”
“You’re coming over later, right?”
Oh, shit. Is he okay?
“Yes, baby,” you respond with a soothing lilt, ears perked and body on high alert.
Does he think you aren’t anymore? You both decided on the plans earlier. Surely he knows you’d never just flake on him. “I’m coming back once you’re done with work, remember?”
There’s an uncomfortable pause on the line, which makes your boyfriend’s next question jab you so far in the lungs you can’t breathe,
“…Can it be now?”
Shit.
Just like Jia earlier, you drop every plan you have to the wayside. You’re sure that Taehyung will understand, and you already got through the biggest conversation you needed to with your friends.
“Of course,” you whoosh out. “Lemme just say bye and I’ll go.”
“Take your time.” A small shuffling interrupts. “It’ll take me a bit to get back.”
“Okay. See you there.”
The strained urgency in his voice makes your hair stand on end, so you vacate the bathroom to inform the girls that you gotta go—but not without a quick head tilt towards Dom, who follows you outside and into the afternoon sun.
—
—
You wait until you’re next to your car on the street, turning with a concerned expression and jittery nerves, “What’s up with you? Did I do something wrong?”
Turns out, you read Dominique correctly. Her jaw locks before loosening, and it reminds you of the time she confronted you about Yoongi before. God, how much has changed since then. That feels like ages and ages ago.
“It’s not about you,” your best friend clears the air and the tightness in your shoulders. “I’m just.. Glad he came around.”
“Yoongi?” When Dom nods, you blink. “Wait, what?”
“At your house that night.. After he left your room, we had—I dunno, a heart-to-heart.” She sighs, flicking braids over her shoulder. You note to compliment the beads she chose this time, because they remind you of summer and simpler times. “I might’ve pressured him a bit, and.. I think he wanted to tell me that he loved you. All the way back then.”
Something in your heart stutters, and you can only repeat your last question, “What?”
“Yeah. Something about needing to do something first,” she continues, holding your gaze with perfect brows furrowed in sunlight. “But I could tell he was damn serious about whatever it was. And if he was willing to do it for you? I let it go.”
Your mind whirls.
Yoongi was already in love with you back then? Is that why he needed to let you go? To deal with whatever he had to do?
One side of you breaks thinking he had to go through all that alone; the other side is screaming at his past self for not even giving you a choice. What did he go through? What did he have to do?
Now you really have to see him. Immediately.
“Thank you, Dom,” you rush out while opening your door. “I’m just happy it’s over.”
“The hell it’s not.” Shooting you a glare that heats the oncoming breeze, she reminds, “It’s not over until your brother knows. And based on everything that’s happened? That conversation is not gonna go over well.”
A dark, simmering boil starts in your stomach, and you’re already feeling queasy again. Tightening your door handle, you gulp hard. “I know.”
“Trust me, I’m happy for you both. I am.” Both hands find her hips as she levels a gaze that you really, really don’t enjoy. “But I’m gonna be honest, I think this is gonna ruin their friendship for good.”
Both of your lungs clamp shut.
“Please don’t say that,” you beg, “I’m gonna fight for all of us. I will.”
“I don’t doubt that, babe. Hey, uh uh, come here.” Reaching out, she gives you a tight hug just when you feel fragile again.
“Listen to me. I don’t doubt that,” she says into your shoulder. “I’m just here to be realistic. Just don’t be shocked if that’s how it goes. We’ll be here for you no matter what, too.”
“Okay,” you say with a scrunched face into her scent. God, she always smells so good, and it’s almost enough to calm you down. Almost almost almost. “Thank you. But I’m not giving up.”
“That’s my girl.” She squeezes you one more time. “I love you.”
With eyes searing over, you choke and grip her tighter. “I love you, too.”
—
—
Yoongi’s door warms your back as you wait for him to show.
But there’s a good chance it can just be your volcanic anxiety.
Ever since your arrival, you’ve paced, you’ve gnawed on your lips, you’ve had to shake the nerves out of your hands.
And over and over, you’ve strained your neck to look for your favorite cat, because you could sincerely use even a glimpse of her right now.
While she doesn’t end up showing, Yoongi rounds the nearest corner minutes after your last desperate scan.
Fuck, he’s so handsome.
Even now, as he simply walks toward you with a backpack slung over his shoulder, you watch with undying yearning to feel those flowing bangs over his forehead. You’d even settle for a single touch of his cheeks, one of them currently sporting a thin bandage.
But the closer Yoongi gets, the quicker your admiration morphs into concern. There’s a deep bend in his brows that you can’t decipher, and his fist is balled pretty tight.
Seriously, what happened? He looks so troubled that you slowly push off the doorway to ask,
“Baby, what’s—”
A bag hits the ground before you’re swooped into a kiss so electric your lips spark.
Him. Him, him, and more him. For the love of everything you don’t understand what’s happening but you kiss Yoongi back with everything you have, arms slinging around his strong shoulders and tugging him closer because he clearly needed this.
And fuck if you didn’t need it just as much. Screw it if anyone sees you. This is all you want and you’ll stay right here until he pulls away.
When he finally does, both of you swallow to catch your breaths, and your soul glimmers when his forehead meets yours.
“Hi, baby,” you whisper to his exhales. “Missed you, too.”
Silent, your lover kisses your forehead before hugging you close, and you’re more sure of your prediction than ever. Something is bothering him.
He doesn’t look worse, at least. But there’s clearly something off and he’s not hiding it. His lack of words is loud enough.
“Let’s go inside,” you quietly suggest. “I would’ve gone in already but I don’t have a key.”
He nods, fishing out his keyring to let you both inside.
When you set your bags down and slip off your shoes, it’s only seconds before you’re softly pulled into a hug again, surprising yet so, so welcoming.
Even only after a few hours, you’ve missed the fuck out of him. Which makes all of this an outright dream.
“Sorry,” Yoongi finally murmurs against your shoulder. “I just…”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” You stroke a hand along his hair, massaging his scalp and loving how soft it feels. The windswept strands fall back into place as you keep running your fingers through. “Did you at least get your appointment?”
“Yeah, I did.” He buries his face further. “Nothing bad. Just can’t lift anything heavy for a couple days.”
“Good. That’s easy to manage,” you whisper back into his tee, feeling the chill of lingering air conditioning and body warmth all at once. “Is something else bothering you?”
“Not exactly.” Whatever that means. “I’ll tell you about it later. Just wanted this, and you.”
Oh. That’s…
“I’m here now, love,” you assure with a melting heart, wondering what happened to cause this behavior.
Is it because of last night? Or something that happened today? You’re anxious all over again, but from the way Yoongi’s acting, your worries are second to his. “Have you eaten yet?”
He shakes his head, only pulling you closer with not a word from his lips.
And from this point on, you make a silent vow to yourself. Whatever Yoongi needs, you’re going to take care of him.
No matter what, these next few days are all about him—a minuscule sacrifice in comparison to everything he’s done for you, whether you knew about it or not.
“I’ll make you something then. Come on.”
When you walk, you slip your hand down his arm to hold his hand, and your lead into his kitchen is short.
“Any requests?” You cheerfully ask as you spare a smile over your shoulder. “We can do… Something light…”
Only to see him staring back with nothing but a lingering sense of longing.
Okay.
You need to get to the bottom of this now.
Stopping right over linoleum, you leave no room for arguments, “Yoongi. Tell me what’s wrong.”
He blinks before his gaze meets the floor. So you’re confused when he simply, quietly..
Laughs?
“It’s not that something’s wrong,” he slowly starts, a shy smile carving his features. “For the first time in my life, nothing’s wrong.”
Your heart beats extra loud.
“But it’s too much to explain right now.” His eyes rise to meet yours. “Just know that I’m so in love with you.”
Oh.
“And I want you to know that every day I live.”
Fuck.
Your body responds before you can say anything, lips connecting to remove any need for speech. The knowledge of them all staring death in the face last night makes this confession sear your insides, and you can’t help but kiss him like you’ll never get to again.
Yanking him back, you spin on your heel until he flings into the kitchen, clutching your wrists before gripping your jaw with both hands.
His mouth heats on yours, his glasses the only barrier between your skin. Everything sizzles from your head to your toes, and you both bang into a countertop before—
“Fuck, ouch.”
“Shit, you okay?”
Yoongi rubs his side with one eye pinched shut, a corner of his teeth present. “Yeah. Worth it, though.”
“Be serious,” you reprimand. Looks like he’s gonna have to take it easy, which means no going at it like animals until he’s on the mend. “No more until you feel better, yeah?”
“Says who?”
“Babe.”
His deadly pout almost breaks your resolve. “Fine.”
But you can wait. You’re sure it won’t take long, and for this man? You’ll wait however long you need to.
Besides, there’s plenty of things you can do in the meantime that don’t require running into hard objects.
“Good. Now let’s…” You turn away to get started before you’re held, and pulled back into yet another embrace.
What the hell is happening today? Your lungs and your melting pile of a brain can only take so much. It’s beautifully overwhelming how Yoongi can’t seem to let you go, because you’re the one that always loses control.
This whole time, it’s been you that can’t hold yourself back.
So now? Being on the other side? You don’t think you ever want him to restrain himself again.
This time, he moves slow. Sensuously slow, and it would occur to you that he’s finding a very cheeky loophole to your plan if you weren’t so hazy-eyed.
Whatever Yoongi’s doing, you won’t stop him.
Your back touches a counter before Yoongi cages you in, and your lips mold together as perfectly as his body does with yours. Your unhurried strokes match his, and your minds communicate without a single word.
There’s yearning still ever present. But there’s comfort in abundance, and a whole new level of need.
After he pulls away, you can visibly see him drink you in from head to toe.
“You know.. I’m good holding off on all the other shit.” Pulling you in, his lips curve as he confidently declares, “But I’m never gonna stop kissing you.”
His hands, his lips, his words. They all have healing powers, you’re so sure of it. If Yoongi hasn’t yet realized his unending pain has blossomed into a safe haven, you need to let him know no matter what,
“Good.”
There’s still a pining in his eyes, but he lets you free, hand skirting your hip before he walks to his room. “Gonna change then I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to, baby,” you say as you struggle to catch your breath. “I got it.”
Three minutes later, he’s chopping an onion anyway.
But you’re loving how serene everything feels with the two of you prepping and dicing, thumps of knives on wood intertwining in sound before you laugh at his crying over the pesky vegetable. Maybe if he wore contacts instead of specs, he’d be better off.
Not that his choice of eyewear is what you’re complaining about. But those glasses paired with the cream tees he’s been wearing? There will be hell to pay as soon as you get a chance at revenge.
Your pot is set to boil for a bit, so you finally rest against the counter and start a timer on his microwave. “Go ahead,” you gesture to your very handsome cooking partner. “You can sit now.”
“Huh? We’re not done yet.”
“Oh.” Blinking, you tilt your head in confusion because you could’ve sworn you heard him yawn a couple times. “You aren’t tired?”
“I am,” he says before squeezing his eyes, rapid blinks to follow. “But I’m fine here.”
You toss and turn the food around, sprinkling a little more seasoning and hearing the bubbles and fizzes. When you stir a little more, a sudden thought occurs, halting your movements and spinning you around,
“Are you staying there to watch my ass.”
Yoongi’s slow smile gives everything away, but he also makes up for the blatant staring.
“Can’t deny that’s one of the things.” Pushing off the sink, he stands right next to you, slotting a hand behind your neck and angling you for a kiss. “But I meant it earlier. I just…”
You’re completely silent as you watch him slide his eyes from your face to the sizzling food. Whatever he’s thinking about, you’re gonna give him all the room to talk.
“Just like being where you are.”
How you went from almost running out of his door to here, you aren’t quite sure. But you’re grateful for that split second of him deciding to fight for the two of you instead of against, because you really were going to leave.
And you may have taken much, much longer to even try going back.
Your voice is barely heard over the aromatic smell and fizzle, “Good thing I like having you around.” When he smiles again, you let out a breath of a giggle, going back to shuffling the pan around and tilting your head to the fridge. “I put some fruit in there if you wanna eat that, too.”
“I’m down.”
“K.”
Your food is ready soon enough, and the two of you eat while talking about easy topics. Like work and your workplace dynamics, what Yoongi’s team has been working on at the studio.
At one point, your curiosity about the album release party grows from something he says. “Speaking of. The party’s on Friday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I thought so,” you deflate, setting your bowl down on the table. “Sorry he can’t go.”
“Huh?”
Your body stills. “Wait. Did he not say anything? About his trip being extended?”
So much for nothing in his life being wrong. From the lost look on his face, you may have given him another reason to fold back in on himself. “No.. No, he didn’t.”
Both of you sit in silence.
This could be nothing. Right? That means your brother is confident he can make it so there’s no point in telling Yoongi he’s gonna miss it. Or maybe he’s not trying hard enough and then not being able to say it to his face?
“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “I thought he told you.”
“It’s okay.” Clearly it’s not. “Not much to do about it now.”
“Yoongi… What if he knows?” At your own question, you stiffen, curling into a proverbial ball. Fear and the sick backfire of fibbing has your mouth going drier than desert air. “What if he actually knows?”
Setting down his chopsticks, Yoongi looks your way, eyes unreadable behind his specs. “If he did, do you think he’d leave us alone?”
He’s got a point. “Guess not.”
“Mm.” Flicking his eyes to the window, he adjusts uncomfortably in his chair. “And I dunno if I mentioned this, but.. He thinks I got back with my ex.”
“Fuck, really?”
“That’s the real reason why he hasn’t been talking to me. Maybe he thinks she’s gonna be there on Friday.”
“Oh.” Your shoulders sag, and sag. Not owning up to your relationship is one thing; Yoongi having to dwell in his previous relationship is another. “Is that… worse?”
“Kinda.” Yoongi’s eyes fall. “Much worse.”
“Shit.” Reaching across wood, you close your hand around his fingers for support. It’s the only thing you can think to do. At least, it’s what you would want if you were in his shoes. “I think you should tell him she won’t be.”
A million seconds later, Yoongi thankfully agrees. “Yeah, I will.”
You feel better. Somewhat. At least a little less nauseous about the possibility of your brother knowing.
But it still sucks knowing that he’s actively avoiding Yoongi because of an ex he used to have.
How bad was it back then if this is the case? What exactly happened? Is this why Yoongi went radio silent on you for weeks?
It seems like he doesn’t even wanna talk about her. So you won’t pry just yet, as much as you wanna know every single thing she’s done wrong so you can hound her through every timeline in existence.
Instead, you talk about a much better subject,
“We should feed my cat now.”
And you quickly laugh at the saucy glint in Yoongi’s eyes.
—
—
Everything is set where it needs to be. Sugar’s food and water fill their respective bowls, your shoulder leans into Yoongi’s good side, and his arm rests around your back as he’s propped up by his banged up doorway.
You remember the first time you saw him lean against the wood like this. Only that time, you were a shell of a girl, waiting with shaky breaths and shaken confidence to hear his response to your inappropriate request.
Who would’ve thought that you’d be on the same side as him all these months later? In his arms, resting a head on his warm chest?
When you let out a short chuckle, Yoongi turns to your smile. “Hmm?”
“Nothing,” you wisp out. “Just thinking about us.”
His fingers press into your side a fraction more, and you can feel him lift his head again. “Me, too.”
Umm.
You can say things like that. He isn’t allowed!
You’re about to set some one-sided rules before your gift pops out of the bushes a few feet away.
“My baby!” you quietly call, leaving Yoongi’s side to crouch down. “Come here, love. You hungry?”
She cautiously makes her way over, sniffing your hand when you leave it outstretched. After careful consideration, the little one nudges your palm, letting you glide fingers down her back as she approaches her bowls.
“You’re so tiny,” you observe with slight pity. “We’ll get you well fed in no time—”
“Hey, Sugar! Oh, is this her? She’s gorgeous, no wonder!”
Huh? Sugar?
Who else knows the cat’s name already?
Your neck almost strains when you look up to see who’s talking. When you notice an older lady donning a really comfy, fluffy robe, you feel like it looks super familiar before you stand.
“Hi,” you greet before introducing yourself, extending your hand and shaking the woman’s soft, delicate fingers. “Sorry if we were too loud.”
“Call me Miss Dion. And you weren’t too loud this time, sweetie,” she says with a wink, glancing down at the kitty eating what you laid out. “Was just comin’ out to water my plants so it’s good to see you’re here, too. Looks like he finally got some sense back in that head of his.”
“I’m standing right here, you know.”
“Oh, I know!”
Back? How long has she known about you? Do her and Yoongi actually converse regularly? Their banter is… Really adorable.
It’s making you fall even more in love with the man biting his cheek in amusement.
Wait.
Is Yoongi Sugar?
That is so fucking cute you could cry.
“I’m back to take care of this guy,” you explain with a head tilt. “And the little one, of course.”
It’s when you say this that Miss Dion notices the bandages on Yoongi’s face, concern pushing down her brows. “What happened to you, young man?”
“Nothing to worry about.”
“You sure? I got some ointment in my kitchen somewhere—”
“It’s all good—”
“We’ll take it,” you cut him off, not looking but feeling his stare on your face. “How much do we owe you?”
“Oh, don’t you worry about that.” With a snuff at Yoongi and a smile your way, Miss Dion heads inside to fetch a bottle.
In the meantime, you give your lover a quiet stare before bending down to run your hands over soft fur.
“Papa Sugar is gonna need that so he can’t argue,” you coo to your cat, cheekily ignoring Yoongi’s sputtering puff of air above your head.
“Papa Sugar? Really?”
You glance up to his smile with a mischievous one of your own. “What, you wanna be Sugar Daddy instead?”
The swirl in your belly is instant. Because Yoongi can only look out into the distance, biting his lip and failing to hide his grin.
Sigh. If only he didn’t have those injuries across his face. You’d push him back into the door and slam it shut if it was any other day.
Patience, patience, patience.
Those hits aren’t gonna heal with just one round of gauze.
When you have to replace the cotton patches, at least you’ll have something to help.
—
—
It’s not until you’re about to tuck in for the night that Yoongi approaches your side of the bed. Judging by the headphones slung around his neck, he’s about to work, so you assume he’s just coming to give you a kiss goodnight.
But after he does exactly that, he asks you a question that warms your chest,
“Where’s your keys.”
“In there,” you motion to the nearest wall, bag propped right under his windowsill. “Inside pocket, I think.”
Yoongi bends with a prolonged grunt, slowly rummaging until he finds your jangling keyring with its charms. When he grabs it, he silently sits on the edge up against your stomach, body heat permeating your tee while he fiddles with the clasps.
God, you’re so in trouble. You know exactly what he’s doing.
Unlike the last time he offered you complete access to his place, this time he didn’t even hesitate. And the way he secures a key amongst the loop, it’s his silent way of cementing permanence.
That’s not another key for you to borrow.
Because that key is yours.
—
—
continued in angel, pt. 2
pitstop inbox before pt2!! | join the server!
a/n: holy crap we're doing it we are actually back in the main storyline?! how do we feel right now because i am over the damn moon diving into this story again. here's a slight pitstop before you make your way over to part two (THE CONTINUATION IS IN A REBLOG!) so take a breather before heading into the resttttttt
++ feedback box:
⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like!
⇥ here!
++ more links:
⇥ masterlist
⇥ three tangerines masterlist
a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it yet, so we'll keep it goin!
note goal: since we're back in main storyline, upping the goal! 1,000 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tan14 will be dropped as soon as it's done! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
SEOM THIS IS ART FHSJDJDKD oh my gosh I’m so giddy looking at this it’s so funnydhsjdjdj😭😭
morning voice…. chef yoongi…… boyfriend vibes to the max
ugh seriously that dalo encounter is now everyone’s problem. shoutout to reader friends being real ones, and dom with the reality check of reality checks😩
KITTYYYYYYY🐈⬛ we love a sugar sighting!
sighhhhh the last part of the first half makes me melt into the biggest puddle🥹 one of my favorites
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
title: angel (m)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)
series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2 | fugue pt. 3 | fugue pt. 4
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: right before he leaves, your brother’s conversation makes your heart stop. and it forces you to make a decision that you need to stick to, no matter what the future holds.
note: it’s been.. two years since the last main storyline update. many things have happened since then, i’ve learned more about myself, and touched more grass than ever. but we’re finally back to our scheduled tangerine programming, and it feels so surreal. incredibly grateful to everyone that has stayed, and welcome to all of you that are new to the 3tan universe!
note 2: also, happy birthday to @somebodydoesluv, @al3ejandra, and anyone else who is celebrating around this time! may you all celebrate a prosperous and healthy year around the sun.
warnings: how it starts LOL, language, explicit scenes, angst, tension, overthinkers overthinking, sibling fights, abandonment mentions, yoongi in those gd glasses again, jimin…?, obligatory kissing warning, everyone being a ride or die i’m weeping, we give the yoongi the business oops, ermm did i say angst, crying, hand holding since it’s a warning now, weapon mentions, wound mentions, yoongi on the phone :), blanket kicks incoming, feelings at an all time peak, fluff??, bro best bro, yoongi in tanks….., vmin best vmin, reader is so strong, but both siblings just need hugs man😩, studio………. time……?, things get so nasty i was blushing y’all ngl
explicit warnings: under the cut and dear god help me lmao
mood: off my face - justin bieber ; ojitos lindos - bad bunny
drop date: july 14th, 2026, 7:17pm est
word count: 25.5k…….. :’)))
explicit warnings: cursing, thigh riding, cowgirl, oral (m rec), naughty studio time(??), couch sex, rough sex, giving yoongi the business, bold as fuck reader, choking, spanking, penetrative sex, kissing deserves to be here too lol, alexa play no hands by waka flocka, deep throating, hair/head tugging, nipple play, yoongi in that gd tank, yoongi in those gd glasses, teasing, titty fucking hello!!!!, stripping while he watches…. yeah, missionary, sub!3tanyoongi?????, scratching, multiple orgasms, protected sex, emotional sex, the glasses.. stay on??, good god they’re so hot i’m blushing
—
—
It’s morning when Jimin gets a call.
Shifting in sheets that aren’t his, he sleepily blinks once before eyeing the blue light with a squint, wondering who dares wake him up before his natural rise. What time even is it anyway? It’s gotta be an ungodly hour if his circadian rhythm is disturbed.
Still, he grabs his cell from the nightstand, flinching at the movement behind him and inwardly slinging out curses.
Because waking him up is one thing.
But if anyone disturbs Taehyung he’s gonna give them hell—
Min Yoongi: Incoming Call
Shit.
Jimin yanks the covers off, rushing out of bed and snapping Tae awake anyway. For what? Don’t fucking know, but they’re ready. Wherever. Whatever. They already stayed up clutching their phones until they physically couldn’t keep their eyes open.
Because as much as Yoongi assured him nothing would happen, Jimin still couldn’t let go of his car keys.
Answering slow, he feels his chest winding and winding, eyes locked with Taehyung while they both wait on edge, “…Yoongi?”
“Yeah.”
Thank the fucking stars.
Yoongi’s okay. He’s on the line. He made it to morning or whatever fucking time it is, and he’s doing exactly what he said he would.
And it’s enough, enough, enough.
Burns zing up the corners of Jimin’s eyes, and he swipes hard as Taehyung moves, likely to hear what’s happening and even more likely to just be by his side.
Jimin is grateful for either one. But he tries to keep composure as he croaks, “You better have woken me up for a reason.”
The slight hum on the line induces a wobbly smile. “You slept?”
“Fuck you,” Jimin shakily laughs, wiping liquid relief from an eye before Taehyung’s thumb brushes tenderly over the other. His gaze is thankful while continuing, “We did but not much.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Sniffling, Jimin walks to Tae’s door, letting him into the hallway first and finally drinking in the sight of his ass in those sweats. Because he can finally function like a normal, smitten loser again. “We’ll come over so we can—”
“No need.”
“What?” Nope. Back to panic mode. And judging from his boyfriend’s posture, Taehyung has backpedaled into that, too. “What do you mean no need?”
There’s a slight pause on the line, and small noises make their way through the speaker. It sounds like bedsheets, but it also sounds like…
“She’s still sleeping.”
Oh.
Oh, shit.
A tidal wave of relief crashes into Jimin’s ducts as he hangs his head, palming his face caught in a heavy tide of emotion. When he turns, Taehyung fairs no better, his eyes red and fingers wiping at a perfect, perfect cheek. One of them sniffles, but Jimin can’t tell if it’s him or not, because his vision is blurry and his heart is beating, beating, beating again.
Whether you know it or not, whatever you did last night may have just changed Yoongi’s entire life.
Because Jimin knows this man through and through. Years of picking up his habits and tells didn’t amount to nothing. It’s how he was able to sense exactly when to intervene, and how he knew exactly what that hauntingly hollow tone in Yoongi’s voice meant when he busted in that day.
The tone he hears now? The man that just spoke on the line?
That is a Min Yoongi so in love he can’t even hide it over the phone.
Fuck.
Gathering himself, Jimin squeaks out, “I… I’m glad you…” What the fuck does he say? Every thought jams in his throat so hard he has to hand the phone off.
Thankfully, Taehyung perfectly continues his thoughts, voice scratching rocks under a waking river, “We’re glad you’re both safe.”
“Mm.”
“So when’s the wedding?”
Jimin huffs through a fresh batch of tears, clearing his face before grinning at Tae very seriously awaiting an answer. Honestly, at this point? It’s not far-fetched. Jimin’s seeing your future clearer than his present, and maybe he will be a fun uncle sooner than he thinks.
If only Yoongi would just get the fucking talk with your brother over with.
But Jimin understands the hesitation. If he were in that same position, there’s no telling when he would be courageous enough to stand up to the guy. There’s a reason he’s quick to command a room, and his lifelong mission to protect his younger sister made him grow up a lot faster than everyone else.
Still… Yoongi just deserves to be happy. And you’re the very obvious answer to helping with that.
As much as he may have wanted some chances of his own, Jimin is grateful you found your way into his best friend’s heart. Not just anyone is invited inside, and even less people can truly be allowed to stay.
And you’re probably the only one that has permanent residence.
“You guys should get some sleep.”
Taehyung pouts right on cue, and Jimin can’t fight those sleepy, droopy eyes. “You didn’t answer me.”
Cute as fuck! He must be stopped. Taking the phone, Jimin speaks into the line fully recovered, shooting his cheeky partner a teasing glare, “We will if you get some, too.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Got some things to do at the studio—”
“No!” They reject together, both equally as appalled because what the fuck kinda answer is that?
“After what happened last night? Are you crazy?”
“What happened to spending time with her? Men!”
“He’s going on a business trip, I can’t lose to him.”
“So what?” Tae asks before they both share an even further confused look. Yoongi may be a lovesick fool but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be a dumbass! “You’re just gonna leave her alone?”
There’s a sigh on the line before Jimin plants a hand on his hip. “Not just that. You gotta rest, too, bro. If she doesn’t tell you to take it easy or at least get checked—which she will—we’re going over there to annoy you.”
“You serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious.” Jimin cocks his head and leans closer to the phone. “At least rest easy for the next couple days. Especially if you have all this time to see each other.”
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. Your brother is leaving for his trip and Yoongi caught some unfortunate hits to his ribs. The dude basically has a free pass to spend the whole week with you, and he’s not even taking full advantage of it? Oh, the things Jimin has to say about the thin line of work ethic and relationship effort.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about it for a long time,” Taehyung cuts in before Jimin can pop off, walking away into the living room.
It’s fine. Let him figure out that you aren’t a woman he can just leave. Frankly? That would tickle Jimin to no end to see Yoongi folding his plans so fast just to be with you.
But he spares him the tirade only because you’re fast asleep right next to him. “Thank you for calling, man.”
“Said I would.”
“I know.”
Because above all else, Jimin is happy to hear that voice. Even if it’s obvious he’s a little banged up from last night, it’s still Yoongi. In one piece. That’s all Jimin wanted, and he can’t thank you enough,
“Don’t overwork yourself, and stay with her as long as you can.”
There’s a small laugh on the other end. “I plan on it, Chim.”
And Jimin catches on to why. “I’m holding you to that then.”
—
—
Dawn breaks through open blinds, stretching its orange tint across a clean, spotless table.
You don’t know what got you up so early. But when you peer into the kitchen, you tell yourself you woke up right on time.
Because seeing Yoongi when you’re wide awake is better than any dream you’ll ever have.
Not because of his appearance, even though the sight of him sends a pang through your chest. No. It’s the way he’s quietly prepping a morning meal, using the arm on his better side that’s not sporting a nasty hit to the ribs, without you even asking.
Bits of sunlight dance right out of your eyes.
The effort. The consideration. This man shouldn’t be lifting a finger, yet here he is cooking before you even left his bed. Isn’t this the same man that got caught up in a fight hours ago? Isn’t this the same man you almost walked out on with a frozen heart?
Yes. But he’s also the same man that loves you. And you still can’t grasp that concept in any of the fingers playing with his tee you borrowed.
“Hi,” you whisper, telling him a thousand things.
To which he regards before smiling soft, voice travelling over linoleum and circling around your heart, “Morning, doll.”
Damn. You hear it. Yoongi’s sore as hell.
But instead of getting into that right away, you silently take residence by his side. Because this moment feels too delicate, and you admire his willingness to take care of you unprompted. You didn’t even know you’d eat before going back home.
With a hand warming his back, you wait until Yoongi’s done tossing food on the stove to peck his morning-chilled cheek. “Thank you for cooking,” you murmur, admiring those beautiful brown eyes. “Sleep okay?”
“Cus of you,” your lover softly responds, eyeing your lips before gliding back up to your gaze. “You?”
Ugh. He’s gotta know those glasses are so unfair. They’ve gotten you repeatedly before, and they’re certainly getting you now.
But you can’t help but deflate at the cuts behind those rims, while knowing there are even more bruises hiding underneath his oversized tee. How is Yoongi cooking right now? How is he even awake? “Same.”
“Good.”
These instant, deep shivers at his deeper morning voice will never, ever go away. But anything you wanna do about them isn’t important right now. Right now, you need to make sure Yoongi is either okay, or finds a way to get better.
Sliding your hands down the slopes of his chest, you delicately rest one on his ribs. “Does it still hurt?”
Yikes. That wince is enough. But Yoongi doesn’t shy away from your touch, and you appreciate the way he stays honest. “It’s sore. But I should be good.”
“You gonna get it checked?”
There’s a slight upward tilt of his lips. “Not right now.” At least the honesty persists, as much as you don’t want him following the typical manly response to hospital visits. “But I will if you want me to.”
“Please go,” you gently urge, lest you disturb the soft morning dew before it melts with the sunrise. “For me?”
Only sizzles from the stove fill the space until Yoongi nods, and his voice is just as low and tender, “I’ll go after work.”
Oh. “You’re working today?”
Just like breakfast, you didn’t expect this, either. Frankly, you figured neither of you were gonna even think about work, much less go. Sure, he’s due a hospital visit and you owe some friends immediate explanations for your absence. But other than that, shouldn’t Yoongi be resting?
Does his craft truly mean that much?
Well, shit. You gotta respect his work ethic, that’s for damn sure. Because you would sequester yourself to your bedroom and have endless dates with your television if you were sporting a good jab or two. This music thing must mean more to Yoongi than you previously thought. And who are you to step on that dream?
Suddenly, all thoughts and concerns flee from the kiss on your cheek.
“I’ll stay if you stay,” he says, turning to move the pan and scrunching his face with a grunt. Fuck.
“I…” Shit, you were gonna go back to the house anyway. And from Yoongi’s smartass smirk, you can tell he already knew that. “Just need to check on him, too. And he doesn’t have a car right now, so. I should at least give him a ride.”
“Figured.” In a move so domestic your head spins, Yoongi turns your body and gently pats your butt. “Now go sit. Let’s eat and figure this out.”
—
—
As you devour a flawless meal and clean your dishes, you plan out the day. You’ll head home and check on your brother while Yoongi heads to the studio, and then you’ll rendezvous with your friends to hang out until he’s done with work. They’re already lighting up your phone like no one’s business—especially Yuri.
Yoongi flicks the sink off before you both head to his bedroom, and you melt at the way he slowly wraps his arms around your front halfway there, all four of your legs slowing to close the rest of the distance.
What’s he doing? This is joyfully new, but you have a pretty tight deadline. Warming his forearm and your own cheeks, you chuckle out, “We have to hustle, old man.”
“You hustle me all the time,” he accuses into your shoulder blade, kissing its ridge and making you reconsider walking out the door entirely. “Lemme have this.”
Your second laugh is more subdued, and you’re right between his bed and desk when you lift both hands to hold him close. “You have everything I got,” you wisp into his skin, planting your lips once, twice before you feel his arms press further in. “So this is nothing.”
Seconds and silence slide by, the delicate veil of early morning still hovering around the room. When Yoongi doesn’t say anything, you make to turn and face him.
But you’re stopped before your heart skips.
“I could stay like this all day,” he admits, voice so low it rumbles through your bones. “And it’d be perfect.”
“What, you don’t wanna see my face?” You joke with a giggle. “Rude, but that’s fine.”
Yoongi only buries his nose further, his glasses sliding against your skin peeking from his shirt. “I’m much braver right here, doll.”
Oh.
The leap your heart does is more of a dive, plummeting into the seafoam swirling around your feet. All the words you want to respond with jump off right after, leaving you with nothing but the clouds in your eyes.
You don’t quite know what he means by that. But it feels like those six words hold the weight of a thousand, so you simply let another kiss on his smooth forearm linger. “Do you want me to go with you?”
A puff of laughter warms you right through and, despite his earlier admission, Yoongi does slowly spin you around.
And when you follow, you realize you’re much braver when you aren’t facing him, too.
“It’s not that, babe,” he says through a dashing curve. “But the offer was cute.”
“I take it back then.”
“Damn!”
Both of your laughs whoosh out and collide, sweeping as Yoongi pinches your side and you flinch towards the bed. “You fucker—!”
Before you know it, your back hits a comforter before a weight presses your stomach, emotions clashing as you’re elated and shy and immediately concerned for your boyfriend’s side. “Baby, be careful—”
Lips capture yours, sucking up your warning before a hand slides under your head. Sighing, you arch into his chest, feeling the weight of his chains slip across your breasts.
Euphoria isn’t an adequate enough word to describe how you feel. Where there used to be flutters in your ribcage now reside strong, powerful wing beats, gusts of want and desire lifting you off the ground and launching you into clear skies. Starlight of every color exists within each kiss you share, and your fingers feebly grab his tee to keep you from falling back down to earth.
“If we don’t go now,” Yoongi rasps before sliding his mouth against yours, “We’re never going anywhere again.”
“I know,” you whisper, willingly letting him kiss you once more, “Is that a promise?”
“Fuck, I wish.”
You do, too. But you know you’re running out of time for what you need to do. And weren’t you just saying you had to respect his aspirations? Shit, you really do need to snap out of it. “Come on,” you order with a pat to his chest. “We have all week to do this. We got time.”
Turns out, you’re still amongst the heavens. The way Yoongi’s looking at you? This is the closest you’ll ever get to being held by an angel.
Did he get more handsome overnight? Or is it the light in his eyes sustained since his confession in the kitchen? You don’t quite know, and you may never pinpoint why, but the tug he has on your heart spans space and time.
And you’ll run through both forever to keep meeting him again and again.
Burns prick your eyes, but he mercifully stands before he can catch any evidence of your yearning.
Just like that, the two of you bounce back to getting ready, with him sliding notebooks and headphones in a backpack while you change into your own clothes. As you sling your bag over a shoulder, he reaches for the closest hoodie, and you wordlessly make your way to the front door.
You really do hope he gets looked at today. But just like the calm after a storm, you want to encourage him gently rather than shove him out. At least he seems receptive to your gentle suggestions.
But after you ask one more time and he simply nods, you lower your eyes to his kicks. “Sorry if I’m nagging. I’d just worry less if you went right away, that’s all.”
“You aren’t nagging, babe.” Your freshly bloomed lover reaches out to hold your wrist, smoothing a rough thumb over your skin. Fucking hell, you can’t help but frown at the gashes and cuts marring his knuckles. “I’ll go as soon as I can.”
Not just his hands, but his face. His ribs. And maybe other places you haven’t even seen yet.
You don’t wanna leave his side.
But you have to head out before your brother leaves. Things need to get patched up before he flies out into more stress, and you owe him an apology for walking out when he was still aching. Based on Yoongi’s physical state? Your brother could be hiding some big wounds and you didn’t even wanna talk to him.
However. Was last night necessary? Absolutely. You cannot entertain the possible outcomes had you not tried hard enough to get through Yoongi’s door. His eyes were so dulled, his hands felt so cold. What would have happened if you didn’t force yourself inside?
Why was that guitar smashed to pieces?
This is also why you refuse to leave. So many questions, so many things you still don’t know. Like what all happened when you were separated? And how in the hell is this man in love with you?
“I don’t wanna go,” you confess, instantly encased in his arms and warmth. “I’d much rather keep kissing you.”
“True,” he says with a resigned huff, shifting his glasses with an adorable nose scrunch. If only he didn’t have so many little red lines of conflict on his face. “But we both have stuff to take care of, so let’s get all that done first.”
“Ugh, fine.” Your groan is more teasing than serious, and Yoongi’s laugh is nothing but understanding.
Damn. You still feel it. You really don’t wanna go. Be it the rawness of last night still on your skin, or the confessions still on your tongues, you just wanna stay by his side. “Sorry,” you breathe out, lacing your fingers to pepper love along his strong, reddened ridges. “I’m serious. I don’t wanna leave you right now.”
Walking out of Yoongi’s door just doesn’t feel right. Even if he’s right there and will be following you out. Is this feeling normal? Are you supposed to feel this tightly woven to someone? Because the stitching between your hearts has only gotten stronger in the tempest of last night, as if you bonded together just to hold on for dear life.
Maybe that’s exactly what happened. And it’s exactly why you can barely take one step out of his place.
“Then don’t.”
Not one second passes before your chin is held, and lips slide so tenderly across yours that they may as well melt into your touch. Your reaction is quickly swooped into his mouth, and everything falls away as you let him seize your every thought. Lightning from last night zips out of your limbs, your toes, your fingers clasping his loose tee.
You might just cry where you stand.
How have his kisses gotten even better? How have you never felt this way even though you’ve done this far more times than you were ever supposed to? It should be impossible, and yet, this man finds even more ways to astound you.
Yoongi slips a hand over your cheek, giving one more beautiful push of his lips as he confesses, “I don’t wanna leave you, either.”
And your breath stutters onto his features. “You, too?”
Slow, he kisses your cheek, the clear rim of his specs skimming your nose. When he draws back, you look right into his eyes, wondering why he’s watching your mouth instead.
“Me, too.” Yoongi kisses your other side with a quiet peck. “Fuck, me, too.”
You fucking hate what you have to do, but you don’t have a choice.
With one last lingering kiss, you both gather enough courage to set out and do what you must.
—
—
Your house is already a flurry of activity as you enter to see your brother in the kitchen, packing his leather duffle that’s a constant companion on his trips.
Of course. The memory of him purchasing the lavish accessory pops into your head every time you watch him scurry around, dimples ever present on his proud cheeks. It’s almost enough to make you smile yet again.
But you can’t when the same face is currently scratched to hell. Just like Yoongi’s, if not worse.
Fuck, is he really gonna travel looking like that?
“Hey,” he rasps out, still fighting off slumber. “You’re back earlier than I thought.”
“Wanted to check on you before we left.” Fuck, your voice sounds like it’s being forced through a clogged pipe. Loosen the hell up! “And dude. Put some bandaids on, yeah?”
“Yeah, just give me a sec. Making sure I have everything before my ride gets here.”
“Huh?” He got a ride? You’re here now so you can take him to the airport. “You sure you don’t need me to drive you?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. I didn’t know you were coming back.”
Shit. His body seems just as angular as it did last night. Which, quite frankly, could still be from what went down in the lot.
Because even though you see both men banged up, you suddenly realize you don’t actually know what all transpired.
After all, there wasn’t much talk of it after you walked into the tempest of Yoongi’s living room.
Of course, you aren’t gonna bring it up just this second. There are other things to ask about and make sure of first. “Wallet? Phone? Passport?”
“Yup, yup, uhh.. Yup.”
Zippers sling in the quiet morning air as you continue, “And you’re coming back on Friday, right?”
“Oh.. Nah.” When you start crossing the kitchen, your brother hauls his leather bag over his better shoulder. Honestly, no one would be able to tell the other one’s bruised with his suit on. That thing damn well covers everything except the cuts on his face and hands. “Saturday.”
You pause in your journey to the medicine cabinet. “Wait.. Saturday? The release party’s on Friday.”
“Yeah.. I know.”
What the fuck? That’s bullshit they’re keeping him longer than they have to. Struggling to understand how corporate can keep your brother on a leash and get away with it, you urge, “Tell them to at least let you go home a day early. Don’t you wanna support your friends?”
“You mean Yoongi?”
A zing of terror zips through your eyes, freezing every vein in an instant.
The fuck was that question? Never mind. Stay calm stay calm stay fucking calm. “Uhh, yeah, he’s one of them? But the other guys, too, right? I know you care about them and this is huge.”
Mercifully, your sibling just shakes his head and waves you off. “Don’t you think I already tried? I don’t wanna miss it but I don’t have a choice. Conference schedule is pretty tight and I’m heading the panel on Friday.”
“Is it in the morning? You can fly out after—”
“Why are you fighting so hard?”
“Why aren’t you fighting harder!”
Okay, what in the hell is happening right now? Screw optics and how this must look for you, your brother needs to be there. Him and Yoongi are the tightest of friends, the most ride or die duo you’ve ever seen. You can’t picture a timeline where he misses this monumental moment, and it’s starting to really upset you that he’s barely trying.
“You think I’m not fighting for it?”
“I certainly don’t think you’re trying enough—”
“Alright, you know what?” Hard steps surge forward as you stand rigid, a duffle hastily dumped onto tile. “You don’t know what I’ve tried. You don’t even know if I even told him yet.”
Fucking shit. You hold his stare before turning away, tossing out the idea of bandages entirely and searing footsteps into the hallway—
“Or do you.”
Before icing over with the unforgiving frost of zero gravity space.
Slow, you turn, not quite facing him but not backing down, either. “…Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You talkin’? What else has he been doing to you?”
Oh. Fuck that.
Doing to you?
Fuck all of this. This is too much to handle right now and you know you’re gonna snap if he keeps pushing because you are not having this conversation right before he leaves. You’ve already thought about this before, right? You cannot fuck with his head right before business trips because he needs to be on and locked in.
But now he’s fucking with your temper and those are some choice fucking words pulled out of his ass.
You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately threatened this man to his face and meant it before, and it tears a sharp corner of your heart, “You better be very careful. With whatever you wanna say next.”
The air proves too thick to slice. While your body stands aflame, your brother is iced over, brimming with an energy that damn near takes physical form. “All I’m saying is? I find out some fucking bullshit is going on—”
No no no, not now.
Reacting fast is your only instinct, brain haywire and fizzling fizzling boiling. Harsh, you spin on your heel and shout the first thing you can think of, “Oh, come on—”
“You better hope to god you’re ready for what’s coming—”
“Stop!” Fuck fuck fuck, this is so frustrating because your head is exploding and your body is screaming to just tell him already. Fuck the consequences at this point this is ludicrous.
Doing to you? Yoongi? How dare he speak about his best friend like that how dare he accuse him without outright saying the words all you have to do is tell your brother how wrong he’s got it.
But you can’t be the one. Yoongi said he would, and he probably took months to get to that point of strength—and healing, from what you can tell.
This is between them. Them. You have to honor that, as much as you wanna just confess everything now and deal with it yourself.
But goddamn your brother is pulsing with anger and it’s leaking into your own charged air.
What does he think is happening? Does he think Yoongi’s just, what, playing you? He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. Yoongi’s been nothing but the best thing that’s ever happened to you and shit your heart hurts because…
Your brother is valid in thinking that.
How foolish. Didn’t you guard your heart from Yoongi for the longest? Didn’t everything start because you figured you knew who he was because of his reputation? You got him all wrong, too. So how can you be mad at your brother for doing the same?
Fuck, think. Just think before someone gets hurt.
Because if you aren’t careful, someone—or multiple someones—will get hurt in seconds. You have to bear the pain alone right now. To protect them both, you have to keep your trembling mouth shut.
And? You have to admit that something isn’t fair here. Not to you, not to Yoongi, but to him. Last night was rough as fuck but, while you both got to have raw, beautiful closure, the one standing in front of you had to go to sleep in an empty house.
So chill the fuck out.
Breathing to cool down, you tense and loosen, tense and loosen. “I get it. You’re angry, and you have a lot going on. But,” you bite down on your lip to keep going. “We’re talking about something else. We’re talking about you, and I’m still pissed you even let those guys goad you into a fight. What are we, twelve?”
Seething, your sibling takes the switch of pace. But it is not what you want to hear. “Are you seri—? What the hell was I supposed to do? That son of a bitch grabbed you—”
“I know,” you recoil. “Don’t tell me like you were there, because you weren’t.”
Finally—finally—those angry lines in his face vanish.
But they make way for something much worse than anger. Because your older brother, someone that’s been there for you your whole life..
Looks absolutely stricken over the one time he wasn’t.
Damn it.
Regretful, you drop your shoulders in exhaustion and quiet compromise. When you continue, your voice is much softer, “But I told you: they were. Your friends, they were there because they knew you wanted that. Jimin got me away, Yoongi took me home and stayed.”
You really have got to stop saying his name like you love him. It could start becoming too obvious.
Shuddering, you shift your weight, folding your arms and shrinking into yourself.
That night, despite Yoongi’s best and most gentle efforts, still clings to where that loser touched you at Dalo. You hate that you haven’t gotten over it, and you loathe the way you still rub over the same spot. Over, and over. “What did you want him to do? Leave me here?”
“No.”
“Exactly. And he didn’t.” You adjust your stance again, making an impromptu gamble as you decide to let some truth leak out. Because your brother is owed at least this much. “And fine, you wanna know something? We do talk more because of it.”
Your brother’s head snaps up, and you brace. Because if you show any shred of weakness or hesitation, he’ll see right through your weak attempt to hide most of the truth,
“But don’t ever accuse him of doing anything to me. That was fucked up to say and you know it.”
“Fuck.” In agreement, he rubs his hair back. “It was. I’m sorry.”
“Trust me,” you swallow, hating that this is how things have to be for now. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s never.. Never done anything to me, anyway.”
It’s not a lie. Everything he’s done has been with you. For you. Because of you.
But your heart’s in anguish as it sinks. Because that expression on your older sibling’s face can only be one thing.
Pure. Utter. Relief.
Fire singes your eyes before you can quell the flame. It’s the hardest technical truth to swallow.
Sure, he doesn’t have anything to worry about as far as you being safe. And on top of that, he doesn’t have to worry about any fake shit because Yoongi confessed to you last night.
But as far as his best friend sleeping with and now dating his sister behind his back? That is still very much sitting right in the center of the table.
And now you’re starting to see just how fucked all three of you are as soon as you sit down to eat the truth.
But Yoongi said he’d be the one to tell, so he will.
This feeling is so fucking miserable, though.
In the end, your brother is effectively convinced, raking a hand across his head and sighing. “Jimin told me what all went down at Dalo, I just… Last night was… Fucked up.”
“Well, yeah.”
“No. See, this is just like what you said to me. You can’t say it like you were there.”
It’s your stomach’s turn to twist. “So? You were scratched and bruised to hell, and Y…” Shut up, shut up. You’re not supposed to know about the state of anyone else. “And you were… quieter.”
“Because of what happened, dude.”
You blink. “What… What happened?”
Your brother looks at you—really looks at you.
And suddenly, your gut flares in terror, storming in an instant across your abdomen.
“That bitch pulled something on us.”
Your heart.
It’s in freefall.
“Wait… What?” You can’t even form more than one syllable at a time, your legs turning gelatinous and knees starting to give out. “No… What are you…?”
What the fuck did he just say? That bitch pulled a what?
Your sibling slowly walks toward you once again, watching like he’s just waiting for you to say anything. Do anything.
But you’re a complete statue because all you can think about is the horror of something happening and the relief that nothing happened all at once.
Was Yoongi too scared to mention that part? Is this why he was holding back and shaking every time he reached out to touch you? Even this morning, he was so…
You’ve never seen him like that. Is this why?
Your mind is swirling and crashing, overlapping each passing thought and scream running through your head. “I’m so sorry,” you hitch out, “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Didn’t wanna scare you,” he sighs out. Putting both hands on his hips, your brother stops feet away, visibly still shook as he pierces wooden planks with his stare. “But he pulled it right before Yoongi… and if it weren’t…Fuck.”
Burns flare and slice through your eyes when he has to pause. What is he trying to say? Pulled what?
Before Yoongi what?
Your brother continues, and your throat tightens. “If it weren’t for some random ass sirens, I… Things could’ve been so different.”
What the fuck is happening. What the hell are you hearing?
“It was probably dumb as fuck. But I was so fucking angry,” he grits out, watery eyes crushed looking your way. “So fucking mad at how he was talking about you, I.. Walked right up to him and told him to fuck off.”
You can’t even breathe.
“I still feel it,” he quietly adds, fingers pressed against his side. “Right here.”
“Fuck,” you finally choke out, eyes on fucking fire.
“But all I knew was to keep you all safe,” he says, with hardened resolve and a wobbly chin. “And that’s exactly what I did. I did that shit, even if that meant—”
Tears fling out of your eyes, flowing hot down your cheeks because you wouldn’t want any of them to go out that way. Nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened and yet your body is acting as if something did and it hurts.
Your brother is there as soon as you crumple forward, letting you bury your head in his chest and sob your heart out. For him, for his friends, and for all the time you had with the man you love so, so dearly.
If anything happened to your brother before you came clean… If anything happened before you and Yoongi could even…
Suddenly, you feel equal weights of guilt. For running out on your brother. And for almost walking out on Yoongi.
You decide an apology is in order for both of them, and all the understanding in the world for Yoongi’s frosted demeanor as soon as you get him alone again.
And you are one hundred percent going to tell your brother everything once he’s back.
The tears cannot stop, and you’re sure you are crying unimpeded in a pressed and primmed suit. “I’m so sorry,” you keep repenting like a prayer. “This is all my fault.”
“No—”
“You almost—”
“Hey, stop.” He yanks you back, both of your faces soaked with saltwater. “What did I say before? I threw the first swing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But it led to all this, I just.. I just feel so fucking stupid.”
“Don’t. Hey, look at me.” Firm but gentle, he holds you at arm’s length, forcing you to face him. “Maybe we’re both stupid, but you weren’t the idiot. I was.”
You feel so many conflicting things in your soul.
What would you have done if Yoongi was in critical condition? What would you have done differently if your brother was instead? Are they the same? Are the two situations really so different anymore?
No they aren’t they aren’t they aren’t.
“Please don’t do that again,” you shake out. “Even if it was for me, if I ever lost you, I...”
“You know I can’t promise anything.” He furrows his brows when you eye him with anger and sadness. “But nothing like that is happening again. Especially with the same dudes.”
“Okay.”
A vicious tornado of emotions sends your whole body into agonizing pain. This isn’t what you expected at all, and it’s causing your limbs to lock at the bends. Too many scenarios are jangling about yet you can’t ask for specifics because that will just make it even more real.
A nightmare is somehow better once you know it ends with you waking up. “I’m… gonna need some time to process everything.”
“I know. And I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but… You deserve to know the things I get into.”
Ah.
The irony is not lost on you.
“At least, if they involve you. We learned our lesson. You were right to tell us off.”
God. You feel numb.
“Thanks,” you murmur, suddenly immensely tired. “I think I need more sleep.”
A blaring honk sounds outside the house, and you both flinch at the noise.
And your throat burns at the way your brother instinctively swept you behind his back.
When you realize what it is, you know what has to come next.
And he’s the first to react as he turns to face you again, “Alright. I’m heading out, just remember to go get my baby when she’s fixed, yeah?”
“Do you have to go?”
Wait.
The question seems to startle him as much as it does you.
How did you blurt it right out before even registering the words? Why does your heart clench at the sight of those eyes looking so pained?
Why does everything feel so shaky within these walls that were always your home?
“I do,” he says, voice tight. “I’m sorry.”
And why the fuck do you feel sad he’s leaving?
“No, no, it’s.. Of course you have to.” You can’t help the lump in your throat from bobbing, the regret in your limbs as they barely move at your side. “I dunno why I asked, I guess I just..”
There’s no response to your sniffle.
“Sorry for yelling,” you squeak out. “I just feel really queasy.”
For a lot more reasons than one.
“We all made it out,” your brother whispers. “That’s what matters.”
“Will you… Will you at least try to be back for the party?”
The man swallows with his brows knit tight, then attempts to crack the tiniest smile. “You know I will. That’s my guy.”
“Okay.” You nod, sniffling again. After what he just told you? You know he’ll do anything for the ones he loves. “See you there.”
Your brother rubs a comforting palm over your head before turning, heading for the door and grabbing his leather duffle.
When he stops to glance at you one more time, you give a little wave of your hand before watching the door click shut.
Chest caving as you collapse to the ground in tears.
—
—
The need to call Yoongi burns so harshly your fingers damn near set your top aflame.
But he’s at work, and you can’t fuck things up right when you’re approaching the finish line. You almost did with your brother, and that gave you twelve heart attacks in the span of minutes.
Still. Your chest aches so much that a thirteenth could very well be approaching. You don’t even realize you’re bracing the hallway wall for support until you try to stand, back sore and aching from bending so far for so long.
What did your brother mean to say about Yoongi? What did that coward pull on them? Do you even want to know what happened?
Fighting back tears, you reach down for your phone, shakily typing out a message only to erase it. Then again. And again.
And again.
Giving up, you forcefully swallow all your worries, cringing at the bitterness of the unknown and the burnt molasses of hidden truths.
It’s going to be okay. No matter what you think or imagine in your head, they made it out, they made it out, they are all alive.
That’s the only reason you can move forward, each step getting you from your room. To your bathroom.
And back again.
—
—
After showering, you feel lighter and refreshed, though the soreness between your legs has yet to leave.
But you wouldn’t want it any other way, as it’s another reminder of Yoongi’s apparent brush with survival. His broken living room spurned the creation of your bond, your devotion to him as he confessed before you gave him your utmost trust in his sheets.
The end is so close. As soon as this week is over, you’ll rip the last bit of peel from your pair of tangerines, baring all truths to your brother and facing the consequences.
Finally ready, you head to your car, opening your text threads with a plan: start slow.
Start with something that can be interpreted neutrally if anyone saw it on his phone screen, especially if your headstrong ex is in the room.
You [12:31pm]: how are you feeling?
Yoongi [12:34pm]: 1 Attachment
You close your door with brows furrowed.
Yoongi’s at the hospital?
That’s not what you expected at all.
Your chest swells with relief knowing he’s there, but you also wanna make sure he’s feeling okay. Especially his mental state after whatever the fuck your brother just dropped on you before leaving.
Goddamn, that’s going to gnaw at your brain until you find the right time and right amount of courage to ask about it. Because it’s very possible Yoongi won’t tell you.
Because it’s probably something he knows you won’t like.
Fuck.
You [12:34pm]: Loved an Attachment
You [12:34pm]: thank you for listening🤍 still sore?
Yoongi [12:35pm]: Yeah, but not bad. Just there.
Wait. He’s not at the studio. That means you can—
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you slowly say as you pull out into the street. “I’m driving now so this is easier.”
“Course. You going to Tae’s?”
“Maybe. I’m going to Yuri’s first.” You swallow, realizing that you didn’t tell him about what you let slip before driving over. “I.. Told her. About you.”
There’s a little bit of silence on the line, just some adjustments and muffled speaker sounds. “Sorry, just writing this down. What’s wrong with that?”
You huff through your nose. Gotta be those patient forms that always take forever to fill out. “Oh. Just more and more people knowing, is all.”
“Everyone’s gonna know eventually.”
You hold back a small smile. Because he’s right. “Yeah. I’m just tired of this feeling.”
“Like you’re hiding something.”
It’s your turn for silence. He doesn’t know how accurately that was played out today. The only answer you can provide is a curt, “Exactly.”
“Same.”
Wings beat around your heart again.
He wants this. Yoongi really, really wants this. And years ago, that outcome wouldn’t have even crossed your mind as an option.
“Thank you for going, baby.”
“The guys made me.”
You hum. “Which ones.”
After a pause, you hear a puff of amusement. “All of them at some point today, actually.”
All of them? Does that include your brother? Did they talk about the trip already?
Your laugh is bittersweet. “Well. Glad to know you can be forced by everyone else except me.”
“Hey, I was already gonna go because of you!” Yoongi quietly retorts, and you giggle at the pout in his words. “Just wanted to get a headstart on work first.”
You were right. He really does wanna go all out for his musical endeavors.
It’s extremely admirable, and wildly attractive, but it does come to a point. “As much as I love your passion, old man, I wanna keep you upright.”
He laughs soft into the line, and you think you can listen to that specific sound on an infinite loop. “That’s fair.”
“How long is it gonna take, you think?”
“Dunno. But I’ll keep myself busy until I’m out.”
Of course he will. You don’t doubt he won’t waste any time. Didn’t he bring journals in his backpack? You wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote ten thousand songs before being called in. “Just call me if you need anything, please?”
“Of course, babe.”
“Thank you,” you say with utmost sincerity. “If only my brother would be less stubborn and get checked, too.”
“He’ll probably do it once he gets there.”
“Did you convince him?”
“Nah. But once he knows I did, he’ll do it.”
“Figures.” You scoff. “Okay, I’m almost there. Let me know how it goes.”
“K. Bye, doll.”
You didn’t ask him what went down. But it’s not the time nor place, and you have plenty of chances this week to figure out when that would be—if at all.
“Talk soon.”
—
—
For a normally bustling household, Yuri’s house is quiet.
So it’s not shocking when you walk into the kitchen and see all your friends glance your way, slowly vacating their chairs with eyes never leaving your face. Even Reia is on high alert.
Did Yuri tell her? Did Yuri tell anyone else?
No. She’s a talker and loves spilling, but she promised. And when she promises something, you know you can trust her to keep it.
It’s what pours emotion in your voice as you meekly greet, “Hey, guys—”
A crushing hug closes your throat. Yuri’s the one that gets to you first, with Reia and Dominique waiting their turns to offer you healing, relieved embraces.
“What happened?”
“Scared us half to death.”
Dom puts you at arm’s length to give a once over, noting your face rubbed raw and eyes still a little bloodshot. Thankfully, her pupils hold more concern than disappointment. “You good?”
Your eyes wobble alongside your smile, and you think it’s enough proof. “More than that,” you still decide to whisper, and your heart beats again at her reaction.
“Thank god. I was ready to kick your ass if you weren’t.”
Heading up to Yuri’s room, you all wait until the door is swung back before mounting her canopy bed, sitting in a tight circle as you divulge everything.
Well. Almost everything.
You tell them that Yoongi is the one you’ve been seeing, how you went to check on him last night in a panic, and the terrifying reason why. When you mention the fight after the basketball game, all three of your friends erupt in questions, and you have to assure them everything turned out okay. Honestly, you also do this to assure yourself, too.
“So… Your brother’s just fine with all of this?” Reia asks, not noticing the tick of Dom’s jaw.
“Well,” you start with a higher pitch, earning a pair of groans. “He doesn’t exactly know yet—”
“Yup. He’s gonna murder him.”
“Yeah, should we say our condolences now or..”
“How long has this been going on?” Reia fires off another question that digs into your chest. “Was he the one you were seeing the whole time?”
“Yes,” you admit with a sigh. “I should’ve told you guys from the beginning, but. The whole thing just felt so delicate. But! We just started making things official recently, so..”
Dom turns your way. “Official how?”
Well. Here goes everything.
With a shaky breath, and lingering feelings from the time it happened, you reveal with watery eyes, “Yoongi… Told me he loves me.”
Both Yuri and Reia react in yelps, Dom’s gaze lowering as the girls reach to grab your hands.
Wait. What’s going on with her? She’s the one that knows the most, she’s the one that covered for you all those months ago. She has to be the one that is the least surprised at all this.
Blinking, you note to confront her about it later. Right now, you’re too focused on trying not to cry as your friends tumble out questions and support,
“He said it? Did you say it first or did he?”
“How did it happen! Oh, I’m so happy for you, babe—”
“Thank—thank you, Yuri,” you squeeze out as she hugs you close. “I couldn’t believe it, but he just.. Said it. We weren’t even doing anything, I was just.. Looking up what injuries he could have..”
And he confessed in the most Yoongi fashion he could have.
Looking back, it shouldn’t shock you at all. He’s always found ways to sweep you off your proverbial feet, so why would a confession plucked from the heavens be any different?
She lets you go before wiping her eyes, Reia and even Dom now sporting watery pupils, too.
“As much as I’m upset at you for not telling us, I’ve never been so happy for you.” When Yuri’s features crease in another sob, you sniffle along with the rest. “It’s been so long since you… And you really.. Fuck.”
You know what she’s trying to say, and the realization has your throat constricting so tight.
It’s been forever since you’ve had something like this, someone like this. When you and Jungkook were together, you told him that you loved him before he broke it off.
Sure, you bought the rings together, but he never uttered those words until years after when it didn’t even matter. And all your relationships after his were complete and utter bullshit, so you don’t think you ever even heard those three words and knew them to be true.
Yoongi was the first to ever say them so sincerely.
And that fact makes your ducts burn and burn.
And when Yuri finally speaks, it breaks the dam holding your real deluge back,
“I can’t think of anyone else that deserves to be loved more than you.”
All at once, everything streams out as you hunch forward. The pain of everything you’ve endured, the hopelessness of knowing you’d most likely end up alone, the excruciating prospect of a future that you never deemed bright, or peaceful, or comforting.
And to think that even this man could’ve been snatched away from you in a snap? Even more tears overlap with the ones you’re shedding, and you can’t even reach out to hug all three beautiful, angelic souls surrounding you with tight arms and sobs because your limbs lock at all bends.
It’s the exact release you need. All your friends supporting you, all the pent up anxiety of last night and today, the truth setting itself free in some capacity—all in the comfort of a plushie-laden bed you only doubted yourself in last time.
Everything’s gonna be alright. It has to be. You’re gonna fight for the ones you love, even if a war between them is inevitable.
It takes a few minutes of heavy silence for you all to separate, swiping and rubbing tears while letting out happy sniffles.
When you thank them for being understanding, they assure you it’s okay. And when you say you’re going to tell your brother soon, a force from the doorway has all of you leaping from lilac sheets,
“Tell him what?”
Jia stands firm with a laundry basket at her hip, and Yuri scoffs at her older sister for barging in. “A knock would’ve been nice!”
Fuck!
You can’t tell Jia of all people. If you spill anything about Yoongi, she’s one hundred percent going to tell your brother. They’re the same age, and run in pretty tight circles, so of course you are not going to risk it.
But you can tell her something else you’re going to tell your older sibling, so you fire out a half-truth,
“Tell him not to pick any other fights that could get him killed.”
Jia’s eyes zoom to your wrecked face, and she drops the laundry with haste before asking, “What happened? When? Tell me now.”
Huh. Maybe your brother has a type, if he’s still into Jia like he said before.
You feel a little spark in your chest as you let her know they all got in a scuffle after the basketball game, and another pang as she immediately abandons the room and clothes with a fierce declaration,
“I’m gonna kill them myself!”
“Don’t worry, I already hounded my brother!” You call out after her, sighing as Yuri shakes her head with a smile. “She gets like that when she’s really worried, huh.”
“Yeah..” Your friend leans to look around you, noticing the basket left alone on the ground. “And if she’s super fired up, she drops everything and doesn’t stop until it’s handled. Clearly.”
Maybe both older siblings really are similar.
The firestorm of an interruption seemed to break the tension in the room, with all of you finally relaxing and catching up. When they ask you questions, you answer what you can.
And when you divulge information that has your ears burning, their squeals and yells give you whole new reasons to live.
—
—
After a very comforting lunch Yuri’s mom cooked, you head to the bathroom when your phone suddenly vibrates through your palm.
Huh? That’s weird. You expect the name on your screen to be Taehyung, not Yoongi.
Not that it’s a bad thing. You’ve been waiting to hear from him, so this is a pleasant surprise.
Closing the door to the guest bathroom, you gaze at the calming sage decor with a smile. “Hi, how did it—”
“You’re coming over later, right?”
Oh, shit. Is he okay?
“Yes, baby,” you respond with a soothing lilt, ears perked and body on high alert.
Does he think you aren’t anymore? You both decided on the plans earlier. Surely he knows you’d never just flake on him. “I’m coming back once you’re done with work, remember?”
There’s an uncomfortable pause on the line, which makes your boyfriend’s next question jab you so far in the lungs you can’t breathe,
“…Can it be now?”
Shit.
Just like Jia earlier, you drop every plan you have to the wayside. You’re sure that Taehyung will understand, and you already got through the biggest conversation you needed to with your friends.
“Of course,” you whoosh out. “Lemme just say bye and I’ll go.”
“Take your time.” A small shuffling interrupts. “It’ll take me a bit to get back.”
“Okay. See you there.”
The strained urgency in his voice makes your hair stand on end, so you vacate the bathroom to inform the girls that you gotta go—but not without a quick head tilt towards Dom, who follows you outside and into the afternoon sun.
—
—
You wait until you’re next to your car on the street, turning with a concerned expression and jittery nerves, “What’s up with you? Did I do something wrong?”
Turns out, you read Dominique correctly. Her jaw locks before loosening, and it reminds you of the time she confronted you about Yoongi before. God, how much has changed since then. That feels like ages and ages ago.
“It’s not about you,” your best friend clears the air and the tightness in your shoulders. “I’m just.. Glad he came around.”
“Yoongi?” When Dom nods, you blink. “Wait, what?”
“At your house that night.. After he left your room, we had—I dunno, a heart-to-heart.” She sighs, flicking braids over her shoulder. You note to compliment the beads she chose this time, because they remind you of summer and simpler times. “I might’ve pressured him a bit, and.. I think he wanted to tell me that he loved you. All the way back then.”
Something in your heart stutters, and you can only repeat your last question, “What?”
“Yeah. Something about needing to do something first,” she continues, holding your gaze with perfect brows furrowed in sunlight. “But I could tell he was damn serious about whatever it was. And if he was willing to do it for you? I let it go.”
Your mind whirls.
Yoongi was already in love with you back then? Is that why he needed to let you go? To deal with whatever he had to do?
One side of you breaks thinking he had to go through all that alone; the other side is screaming at his past self for not even giving you a choice. What did he go through? What did he have to do?
Now you really have to see him. Immediately.
“Thank you, Dom,” you rush out while opening your door. “I’m just happy it’s over.”
“The hell it’s not.” Shooting you a glare that heats the oncoming breeze, she reminds, “It’s not over until your brother knows. And based on everything that’s happened? That conversation is not gonna go over well.”
A dark, simmering boil starts in your stomach, and you’re already feeling queasy again. Tightening your door handle, you gulp hard. “I know.”
“Trust me, I’m happy for you both. I am.” Both hands find her hips as she levels a gaze that you really, really don’t enjoy. “But I’m gonna be honest, I think this is gonna ruin their friendship for good.”
Both of your lungs clamp shut.
“Please don’t say that,” you beg, “I’m gonna fight for all of us. I will.”
“I don’t doubt that, babe. Hey, uh uh, come here.” Reaching out, she gives you a tight hug just when you feel fragile again.
“Listen to me. I don’t doubt that,” she says into your shoulder. “I’m just here to be realistic. Just don’t be shocked if that’s how it goes. We’ll be here for you no matter what, too.”
“Okay,” you say with a scrunched face into her scent. God, she always smells so good, and it’s almost enough to calm you down. Almost almost almost. “Thank you. But I’m not giving up.”
“That’s my girl.” She squeezes you one more time. “I love you.”
With eyes searing over, you choke and grip her tighter. “I love you, too.”
—
—
Yoongi’s door warms your back as you wait for him to show.
But there’s a good chance it can just be your volcanic anxiety.
Ever since your arrival, you’ve paced, you’ve gnawed on your lips, you’ve had to shake the nerves out of your hands.
And over and over, you’ve strained your neck to look for your favorite cat, because you could sincerely use even a glimpse of her right now.
While she doesn’t end up showing, Yoongi rounds the nearest corner minutes after your last desperate scan.
Fuck, he’s so handsome.
Even now, as he simply walks toward you with a backpack slung over his shoulder, you watch with undying yearning to feel those flowing bangs over his forehead. You’d even settle for a single touch of his cheeks, one of them currently sporting a thin bandage.
But the closer Yoongi gets, the quicker your admiration morphs into concern. There’s a deep bend in his brows that you can’t decipher, and his fist is balled pretty tight.
Seriously, what happened? He looks so troubled that you slowly push off the doorway to ask,
“Baby, what’s—”
A bag hits the ground before you’re swooped into a kiss so electric your lips spark.
Him. Him, him, and more him. For the love of everything you don’t understand what’s happening but you kiss Yoongi back with everything you have, arms slinging around his strong shoulders and tugging him closer because he clearly needed this.
And fuck if you didn’t need it just as much. Screw it if anyone sees you. This is all you want and you’ll stay right here until he pulls away.
When he finally does, both of you swallow to catch your breaths, and your soul glimmers when his forehead meets yours.
“Hi, baby,” you whisper to his exhales. “Missed you, too.”
Silent, your lover kisses your forehead before hugging you close, and you’re more sure of your prediction than ever. Something is bothering him.
He doesn’t look worse, at least. But there’s clearly something off and he’s not hiding it. His lack of words is loud enough.
“Let’s go inside,” you quietly suggest. “I would’ve gone in already but I don’t have a key.”
He nods, fishing out his keyring to let you both inside.
When you set your bags down and slip off your shoes, it’s only seconds before you’re softly pulled into a hug again, surprising yet so, so welcoming.
Even only after a few hours, you’ve missed the fuck out of him. Which makes all of this an outright dream.
“Sorry,” Yoongi finally murmurs against your shoulder. “I just…”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” You stroke a hand along his hair, massaging his scalp and loving how soft it feels. The windswept strands fall back into place as you keep running your fingers through. “Did you at least get your appointment?”
“Yeah, I did.” He buries his face further. “Nothing bad. Just can’t lift anything heavy for a couple days.”
“Good. That’s easy to manage,” you whisper back into his tee, feeling the chill of lingering air conditioning and body warmth all at once. “Is something else bothering you?”
“Not exactly.” Whatever that means. “I’ll tell you about it later. Just wanted this, and you.”
Oh. That’s…
“I’m here now, love,” you assure with a melting heart, wondering what happened to cause this behavior.
Is it because of last night? Or something that happened today? You’re anxious all over again, but from the way Yoongi’s acting, your worries are second to his. “Have you eaten yet?”
He shakes his head, only pulling you closer with not a word from his lips.
And from this point on, you make a silent vow to yourself. Whatever Yoongi needs, you’re going to take care of him.
No matter what, these next few days are all about him—a minuscule sacrifice in comparison to everything he’s done for you, whether you knew about it or not.
“I’ll make you something then. Come on.”
When you walk, you slip your hand down his arm to hold his hand, and your lead into his kitchen is short.
“Any requests?” You cheerfully ask as you spare a smile over your shoulder. “We can do… Something light…”
Only to see him staring back with nothing but a lingering sense of longing.
Okay.
You need to get to the bottom of this now.
Stopping right over linoleum, you leave no room for arguments, “Yoongi. Tell me what’s wrong.”
He blinks before his gaze meets the floor. So you’re confused when he simply, quietly..
Laughs?
“It’s not that something’s wrong,” he slowly starts, a shy smile carving his features. “For the first time in my life, nothing’s wrong.”
Your heart beats extra loud.
“But it’s too much to explain right now.” His eyes rise to meet yours. “Just know that I’m so in love with you.”
Oh.
“And I want you to know that every day I live.”
Fuck.
Your body responds before you can say anything, lips connecting to remove any need for speech. The knowledge of them all staring death in the face last night makes this confession sear your insides, and you can’t help but kiss him like you’ll never get to again.
Yanking him back, you spin on your heel until he flings into the kitchen, clutching your wrists before gripping your jaw with both hands.
His mouth heats on yours, his glasses the only barrier between your skin. Everything sizzles from your head to your toes, and you both bang into a countertop before—
“Fuck, ouch.”
“Shit, you okay?”
Yoongi rubs his side with one eye pinched shut, a corner of his teeth present. “Yeah. Worth it, though.”
“Be serious,” you reprimand. Looks like he’s gonna have to take it easy, which means no going at it like animals until he’s on the mend. “No more until you feel better, yeah?”
“Says who?”
“Babe.”
His deadly pout almost breaks your resolve. “Fine.”
But you can wait. You’re sure it won’t take long, and for this man? You’ll wait however long you need to.
Besides, there’s plenty of things you can do in the meantime that don’t require running into hard objects.
“Good. Now let’s…” You turn away to get started before you’re held, and pulled back into yet another embrace.
What the hell is happening today? Your lungs and your melting pile of a brain can only take so much. It’s beautifully overwhelming how Yoongi can’t seem to let you go, because you’re the one that always loses control.
This whole time, it’s been you that can’t hold yourself back.
So now? Being on the other side? You don’t think you ever want him to restrain himself again.
This time, he moves slow. Sensuously slow, and it would occur to you that he’s finding a very cheeky loophole to your plan if you weren’t so hazy-eyed.
Whatever Yoongi’s doing, you won’t stop him.
Your back touches a counter before Yoongi cages you in, and your lips mold together as perfectly as his body does with yours. Your unhurried strokes match his, and your minds communicate without a single word.
There’s yearning still ever present. But there’s comfort in abundance, and a whole new level of need.
After he pulls away, you can visibly see him drink you in from head to toe.
“You know.. I’m good holding off on all the other shit.” Pulling you in, his lips curve as he confidently declares, “But I’m never gonna stop kissing you.”
His hands, his lips, his words. They all have healing powers, you’re so sure of it. If Yoongi hasn’t yet realized his unending pain has blossomed into a safe haven, you need to let him know no matter what,
“Good.”
There’s still a pining in his eyes, but he lets you free, hand skirting your hip before he walks to his room. “Gonna change then I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to, baby,” you say as you struggle to catch your breath. “I got it.”
Three minutes later, he’s chopping an onion anyway.
But you’re loving how serene everything feels with the two of you prepping and dicing, thumps of knives on wood intertwining in sound before you laugh at his crying over the pesky vegetable. Maybe if he wore contacts instead of specs, he’d be better off.
Not that his choice of eyewear is what you’re complaining about. But those glasses paired with the cream tees he’s been wearing? There will be hell to pay as soon as you get a chance at revenge.
Your pot is set to boil for a bit, so you finally rest against the counter and start a timer on his microwave. “Go ahead,” you gesture to your very handsome cooking partner. “You can sit now.”
“Huh? We’re not done yet.”
“Oh.” Blinking, you tilt your head in confusion because you could’ve sworn you heard him yawn a couple times. “You aren’t tired?”
“I am,” he says before squeezing his eyes, rapid blinks to follow. “But I’m fine here.”
You toss and turn the food around, sprinkling a little more seasoning and hearing the bubbles and fizzes. When you stir a little more, a sudden thought occurs, halting your movements and spinning you around,
“Are you staying there to watch my ass.”
Yoongi’s slow smile gives everything away, but he also makes up for the blatant staring.
“Can’t deny that’s one of the things.” Pushing off the sink, he stands right next to you, slotting a hand behind your neck and angling you for a kiss. “But I meant it earlier. I just…”
You’re completely silent as you watch him slide his eyes from your face to the sizzling food. Whatever he’s thinking about, you’re gonna give him all the room to talk.
“Just like being where you are.”
How you went from almost running out of his door to here, you aren’t quite sure. But you’re grateful for that split second of him deciding to fight for the two of you instead of against, because you really were going to leave.
And you may have taken much, much longer to even try going back.
Your voice is barely heard over the aromatic smell and fizzle, “Good thing I like having you around.” When he smiles again, you let out a breath of a giggle, going back to shuffling the pan around and tilting your head to the fridge. “I put some fruit in there if you wanna eat that, too.”
“I’m down.”
“K.”
Your food is ready soon enough, and the two of you eat while talking about easy topics. Like work and your workplace dynamics, what Yoongi’s team has been working on at the studio.
At one point, your curiosity about the album release party grows from something he says. “Speaking of. The party’s on Friday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I thought so,” you deflate, setting your bowl down on the table. “Sorry he can’t go.”
“Huh?”
Your body stills. “Wait. Did he not say anything? About his trip being extended?”
So much for nothing in his life being wrong. From the lost look on his face, you may have given him another reason to fold back in on himself. “No.. No, he didn’t.”
Both of you sit in silence.
This could be nothing. Right? That means your brother is confident he can make it so there’s no point in telling Yoongi he’s gonna miss it. Or maybe he’s not trying hard enough and then not being able to say it to his face?
“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “I thought he told you.”
“It’s okay.” Clearly it’s not. “Not much to do about it now.”
“Yoongi… What if he knows?” At your own question, you stiffen, curling into a proverbial ball. Fear and the sick backfire of fibbing has your mouth going drier than desert air. “What if he actually knows?”
Setting down his chopsticks, Yoongi looks your way, eyes unreadable behind his specs. “If he did, do you think he’d leave us alone?”
He’s got a point. “Guess not.”
“Mm.” Flicking his eyes to the window, he adjusts uncomfortably in his chair. “And I dunno if I mentioned this, but.. He thinks I got back with my ex.”
“Fuck, really?”
“That’s the real reason why he hasn’t been talking to me. Maybe he thinks she’s gonna be there on Friday.”
“Oh.” Your shoulders sag, and sag. Not owning up to your relationship is one thing; Yoongi having to dwell in his previous relationship is another. “Is that… worse?”
“Kinda.” Yoongi’s eyes fall. “Much worse.”
“Shit.” Reaching across wood, you close your hand around his fingers for support. It’s the only thing you can think to do. At least, it’s what you would want if you were in his shoes. “I think you should tell him she won’t be.”
A million seconds later, Yoongi thankfully agrees. “Yeah, I will.”
You feel better. Somewhat. At least a little less nauseous about the possibility of your brother knowing.
But it still sucks knowing that he’s actively avoiding Yoongi because of an ex he used to have.
How bad was it back then if this is the case? What exactly happened? Is this why Yoongi went radio silent on you for weeks?
It seems like he doesn’t even wanna talk about her. So you won’t pry just yet, as much as you wanna know every single thing she’s done wrong so you can hound her through every timeline in existence.
Instead, you talk about a much better subject,
“We should feed my cat now.”
And you quickly laugh at the saucy glint in Yoongi’s eyes.
—
—
Everything is set where it needs to be. Sugar’s food and water fill their respective bowls, your shoulder leans into Yoongi’s good side, and his arm rests around your back as he’s propped up by his banged up doorway.
You remember the first time you saw him lean against the wood like this. Only that time, you were a shell of a girl, waiting with shaky breaths and shaken confidence to hear his response to your inappropriate request.
Who would’ve thought that you’d be on the same side as him all these months later? In his arms, resting a head on his warm chest?
When you let out a short chuckle, Yoongi turns to your smile. “Hmm?”
“Nothing,” you wisp out. “Just thinking about us.”
His fingers press into your side a fraction more, and you can feel him lift his head again. “Me, too.”
Umm.
You can say things like that. He isn’t allowed!
You’re about to set some one-sided rules before your gift pops out of the bushes a few feet away.
“My baby!” you quietly call, leaving Yoongi’s side to crouch down. “Come here, love. You hungry?”
She cautiously makes her way over, sniffing your hand when you leave it outstretched. After careful consideration, the little one nudges your palm, letting you glide fingers down her back as she approaches her bowls.
“You’re so tiny,” you observe with slight pity. “We’ll get you well fed in no time—”
“Hey, Sugar! Oh, is this her? She’s gorgeous, no wonder!”
Huh? Sugar?
Who else knows the cat’s name already?
Your neck almost strains when you look up to see who’s talking. When you notice an older lady donning a really comfy, fluffy robe, you feel like it looks super familiar before you stand.
“Hi,” you greet before introducing yourself, extending your hand and shaking the woman’s soft, delicate fingers. “Sorry if we were too loud.”
“Call me Miss Dion. And you weren’t too loud this time, sweetie,” she says with a wink, glancing down at the kitty eating what you laid out. “Was just comin’ out to water my plants so it’s good to see you’re here, too. Looks like he finally got some sense back in that head of his.”
“I’m standing right here, you know.”
“Oh, I know!”
Back? How long has she known about you? Do her and Yoongi actually converse regularly? Their banter is… Really adorable.
It’s making you fall even more in love with the man biting his cheek in amusement.
Wait.
Is Yoongi Sugar?
That is so fucking cute you could cry.
“I’m back to take care of this guy,” you explain with a head tilt. “And the little one, of course.”
It’s when you say this that Miss Dion notices the bandages on Yoongi’s face, concern pushing down her brows. “What happened to you, young man?”
“Nothing to worry about.”
“You sure? I got some ointment in my kitchen somewhere—”
“It’s all good—”
“We’ll take it,” you cut him off, not looking but feeling his stare on your face. “How much do we owe you?”
“Oh, don’t you worry about that.” With a snuff at Yoongi and a smile your way, Miss Dion heads inside to fetch a bottle.
In the meantime, you give your lover a quiet stare before bending down to run your hands over soft fur.
“Papa Sugar is gonna need that so he can’t argue,” you coo to your cat, cheekily ignoring Yoongi’s sputtering puff of air above your head.
“Papa Sugar? Really?”
You glance up to his smile with a mischievous one of your own. “What, you wanna be Sugar Daddy instead?”
The swirl in your belly is instant. Because Yoongi can only look out into the distance, biting his lip and failing to hide his grin.
Sigh. If only he didn’t have those injuries across his face. You’d push him back into the door and slam it shut if it was any other day.
Patience, patience, patience.
Those hits aren’t gonna heal with just one round of gauze.
When you have to replace the cotton patches, at least you’ll have something to help.
—
—
It’s not until you’re about to tuck in for the night that Yoongi approaches your side of the bed. Judging by the headphones slung around his neck, he’s about to work, so you assume he’s just coming to give you a kiss goodnight.
But after he does exactly that, he asks you a question that warms your chest,
“Where’s your keys.”
“In there,” you motion to the nearest wall, bag propped right under his windowsill. “Inside pocket, I think.”
Yoongi bends with a prolonged grunt, slowly rummaging until he finds your jangling keyring with its charms. When he grabs it, he silently sits on the edge up against your stomach, body heat permeating your tee while he fiddles with the clasps.
God, you’re so in trouble. You know exactly what he’s doing.
Unlike the last time he offered you complete access to his place, this time he didn’t even hesitate. And the way he secures a key amongst the loop, it’s his silent way of cementing permanence.
That’s not another key for you to borrow.
Because that key is yours.
—
—
continued in angel, pt. 2
pitstop inbox before pt2!! | join the server!
a/n: holy crap we're doing it we are actually back in the main storyline?! how do we feel right now because i am over the damn moon diving into this story again. here's a slight pitstop before you make your way over to part two (THE CONTINUATION IS IN A REBLOG!) so take a breather before heading into the resttttttt
++ feedback box:
⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like!
⇥ here!
++ more links:
⇥ masterlist
⇥ three tangerines masterlist
a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it yet, so we'll keep it goin!
note goal: since we're back in main storyline, upping the goal! 1,000 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tan14 will be dropped as soon as it's done! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
I don’t care what you are doing, if you are caught up before now… then read this NOWWWWW!! And you better comment and reboot it and everything cause I can’t wait another minute. 😭😭😭
AHHH thank you, love!! we’re already a fifth of the way to goal so this is looking pretty good🥳🙌 i’m already working on the next part too so uhh we could be looking at a pretty fast turnaround (relatively!)
title: angel (m)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)
series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2 | fugue pt. 3 | fugue pt. 4
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: right before he leaves, your brother’s conversation makes your heart stop. and it forces you to make a decision that you need to stick to, no matter what the future holds.
note: it’s been.. two years since the last main storyline update. many things have happened since then, i’ve learned more about myself, and touched more grass than ever. but we’re finally back to our scheduled tangerine programming, and it feels so surreal. incredibly grateful to everyone that has stayed, and welcome to all of you that are new to the 3tan universe!
note 2: also, happy birthday to @somebodydoesluv, @al3ejandra, and anyone else who is celebrating around this time! may you all celebrate a prosperous and healthy year around the sun.
warnings: how it starts LOL, language, explicit scenes, angst, tension, overthinkers overthinking, sibling fights, abandonment mentions, yoongi in those gd glasses again, jimin…?, obligatory kissing warning, everyone being a ride or die i’m weeping, we give the yoongi the business oops, ermm did i say angst, crying, hand holding since it’s a warning now, weapon mentions, wound mentions, yoongi on the phone :), blanket kicks incoming, feelings at an all time peak, fluff??, bro best bro, yoongi in tanks….., vmin best vmin, reader is so strong, but both siblings just need hugs man😩, studio………. time……?, things get so nasty i was blushing y’all ngl
explicit warnings: under the cut and dear god help me lmao
mood: off my face - justin bieber ; ojitos lindos - bad bunny
drop date: july 14th, 2026, 7:17pm est
word count: 25.2k…….. :’)))
explicit warnings: cursing, thigh riding, cowgirl, oral (m rec), naughty studio time(??), couch sex, rough sex, giving yoongi the business, bold as fuck reader, choking, spanking, penetrative sex, kissing deserves to be here too lol, alexa play no hands by waka flocka, deep throating, hair/head tugging, nipple play, yoongi in that gd tank, yoongi in those gd glasses, teasing, titty fucking hello!!!!, stripping while he watches…. yeah, missionary, sub!3tanyoongi?????, scratching, multiple orgasms, protected sex, emotional sex, good god they’re so hot i’m blushing
—
—
It’s morning when Jimin gets a call.
Shifting in sheets that aren’t his, he sleepily blinks once before eyeing the blue light with a squint, wondering who dares wake him up before his natural rise. What time even is it anyway? It’s gotta be an ungodly hour if his circadian rhythm is disturbed.
Still, he grabs his cell from the nightstand, flinching at the movement behind him and inwardly slinging out curses.
Because waking him up is one thing.
But if anyone disturbs Taehyung he’s gonna give them hell—
Min Yoongi: Incoming Call
Shit.
Jimin yanks the covers off, rushing out of bed and snapping Tae awake anyway. For what? Don’t fucking know, but they’re ready. Wherever. Whatever. They already stayed up clutching their phones until they physically couldn’t keep their eyes open.
Because as much as Yoongi assured him nothing would happen, Jimin still couldn’t let go of his car keys.
Answering slow, he feels his chest winding and winding, eyes locked with Taehyung while they both wait on edge, “…Yoongi?”
“Yeah.”
Thank the fucking stars.
Yoongi’s okay. He’s on the line. He made it to morning or whatever fucking time it is, and he’s doing exactly what he said he would.
And it’s enough, enough, enough.
Burns zing up the corners of Jimin’s eyes, and he swipes hard as Taehyung moves, likely to hear what’s happening and even more likely to just be by his side.
Jimin is grateful for either one. But he tries to keep composure as he croaks, “You better have woken me up for a reason.”
The slight hum on the line induces a wobbly smile. “You slept?”
“Fuck you,” Jimin shakily laughs, wiping liquid relief from an eye before Taehyung’s thumb brushes tenderly over the other. His gaze is thankful while continuing, “We did but not much.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Sniffling, Jimin walks to Tae’s door, letting him into the hallway first and finally drinking in the sight of his ass in those sweats. Because he can finally function like a normal, smitten loser again. “We’ll come over so we can—”
“No need.”
“What?” Nope. Back to panic mode. And judging from his boyfriend’s posture, Taehyung has backpedaled into that, too. “What do you mean no need?”
There’s a slight pause on the line, and small noises make their way through the speaker. It sounds like bedsheets, but it also sounds like…
“She’s still sleeping.”
Oh.
Oh, shit.
A tidal wave of relief crashes into Jimin’s ducts as he hangs his head, palming his face caught in a heavy tide of emotion. When he turns, Taehyung fairs no better, his eyes red and fingers wiping at a perfect, perfect cheek. One of them sniffles, but Jimin can’t tell if it’s him or not, because his vision is blurry and his heart is beating, beating, beating again.
Whether you know it or not, whatever you did last night may have just changed Yoongi’s entire life.
Because Jimin knows this man through and through. Years of picking up his habits and tells didn’t amount to nothing. It’s how he was able to sense exactly when to intervene, and how he knew exactly what that hauntingly hollow tone in Yoongi’s voice meant when he busted in that day.
The tone he hears now? The man that just spoke on the line?
That is a Min Yoongi so in love he can’t even hide it over the phone.
Fuck.
Gathering himself, Jimin squeaks out, “I… I’m glad you…” What the fuck does he say? Every thought jams in his throat so hard he has to hand the phone off.
Thankfully, Taehyung perfectly continues his thoughts, voice scratching rocks under a waking river, “We’re glad you’re both safe.”
“Mm.”
“So when’s the wedding?”
Jimin huffs through a fresh batch of tears, clearing his face before grinning at Tae very seriously awaiting an answer. Honestly, at this point? It’s not far-fetched. Jimin’s seeing your future clearer than his present, and maybe he will be a fun uncle sooner than he thinks.
If only Yoongi would just get the fucking talk with your brother over with.
But Jimin understands the hesitation. If he were in that same position, there’s no telling when he would be courageous enough to stand up to the guy. There’s a reason he’s quick to command a room, and his lifelong mission to protect his younger sister made him grow up a lot faster than everyone else.
Still… Yoongi just deserves to be happy. And you’re the very obvious answer to helping with that.
As much as he may have wanted some chances of his own, Jimin is grateful you found your way into his best friend’s heart. Not just anyone is invited inside, and even less people can truly be allowed to stay.
And you’re probably the only one that has permanent residence.
“You guys should get some sleep.”
Taehyung pouts right on cue, and Jimin can’t fight those sleepy, droopy eyes. “You didn’t answer me.”
Cute as fuck! He must be stopped. Taking the phone, Jimin speaks into the line fully recovered, shooting his cheeky partner a teasing glare, “We will if you get some, too.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Got some things to do at the studio—”
“No!” They reject together, both equally as appalled because what the fuck kinda answer is that?
“After what happened last night? Are you crazy?”
“What happened to spending time with her? Men!”
“He’s going on a business trip, I can’t lose to him.”
“So what?” Tae asks before they both share an even further confused look. Yoongi may be a lovesick fool but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be a dumbass! “You’re just gonna leave her alone?”
There’s a sigh on the line before Jimin plants a hand on his hip. “Not just that. You gotta rest, too, bro. If she doesn’t tell you to take it easy or at least get checked—which she will—we’re going over there to annoy you.”
“You serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious.” Jimin cocks his head and leans closer to the phone. “At least rest easy for the next couple days. Especially if you have all this time to see each other.”
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. Your brother is leaving for his trip and Yoongi caught some unfortunate hits to his ribs. The dude basically has a free pass to spend the whole week with you, and he’s not even taking full advantage of it? Oh, the things Jimin has to say about the thin line of work ethic and relationship effort.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about it for a long time,” Taehyung cuts in before Jimin can pop off, walking away into the living room.
It’s fine. Let him figure out that you aren’t a woman he can just leave. Frankly? That would tickle Jimin to no end to see Yoongi folding his plans so fast just to be with you.
But he spares him the tirade only because you’re fast asleep right next to him. “Thank you for calling, man.”
“Said I would.”
“I know.”
Because above all else, Jimin is happy to hear that voice. Even if it’s obvious he’s a little banged up from last night, it’s still Yoongi. In one piece. That’s all Jimin wanted, and he can’t thank you enough,
“Don’t overwork yourself, and stay with her as long as you can.”
There’s a small laugh on the other end. “I plan on it, Chim.”
And Jimin catches on to why. “I’m holding you to that then.”
—
—
Dawn breaks through open blinds, stretching its orange tint across a clean, spotless table.
You don’t know what got you up so early. But when you peer into the kitchen, you tell yourself you woke up right on time.
Because seeing Yoongi when you’re wide awake is better than any dream you’ll ever have.
Not because of his appearance, even though the sight of him sends a pang through your chest. No. It’s the way he’s quietly prepping a morning meal, using the arm on his better side that’s not sporting a nasty hit to the ribs, without you even asking.
Bits of sunlight dance right out of your eyes.
The effort. The consideration. This man shouldn’t be lifting a finger, yet here he is cooking before you even left his bed. Isn’t this the same man that got caught up in a fight hours ago? Isn’t this the same man you almost walked out on with a frozen heart?
Yes. But he’s also the same man that loves you. And you still can’t grasp that concept in any of the fingers playing with his tee you borrowed.
“Hi,” you whisper, telling him a thousand things.
To which he regards before smiling soft, voice travelling over linoleum and circling around your heart, “Morning, doll.”
Damn. You hear it. Yoongi’s sore as hell.
But instead of getting into that right away, you silently take residence by his side. Because this moment feels too delicate, and you admire his willingness to take care of you unprompted. You didn’t even know you’d eat before going back home.
With a hand warming his back, you wait until Yoongi’s done tossing food on the stove to peck his morning-chilled cheek. “Thank you for cooking,” you murmur, admiring those beautiful brown eyes. “Sleep okay?”
“Cus of you,” your lover softly responds, eyeing your lips before gliding back up to your gaze. “You?”
Ugh. He’s gotta know those glasses are so unfair. They’ve gotten you repeatedly before, and they’re certainly getting you now.
But you can’t help but deflate at the cuts behind those rims, while knowing there are even more bruises hiding underneath his oversized tee. How is Yoongi cooking right now? How is he even awake? “Same.”
“Good.”
These instant, deep shivers at his deeper morning voice will never, ever go away. But anything you wanna do about them isn’t important right now. Right now, you need to make sure Yoongi is either okay, or finds a way to get better.
Sliding your hands down the slopes of his chest, you delicately rest one on his ribs. “Does it still hurt?”
Yikes. That wince is enough. But Yoongi doesn’t shy away from your touch, and you appreciate the way he stays honest. “It’s sore. But I should be good.”
“You gonna get it checked?”
There’s a slight upward tilt of his lips. “Not right now.” At least the honesty persists, as much as you don’t want him following the typical manly response to hospital visits. “But I will if you want me to.”
“Please go,” you gently urge, lest you disturb the soft morning dew before it melts with the sunrise. “For me?”
Only sizzles from the stove fill the space until Yoongi nods, and his voice is just as low and tender, “I’ll go after work.”
Oh. “You’re working today?”
Just like breakfast, you didn’t expect this, either. Frankly, you figured neither of you were gonna even think about work, much less go. Sure, he’s due a hospital visit and you owe some friends immediate explanations for your absence. But other than that, shouldn’t Yoongi be resting?
Does his craft truly mean that much?
Well, shit. You gotta respect his work ethic, that’s for damn sure. Because you would sequester yourself to your bedroom and have endless dates with your television if you were sporting a good jab or two. This music thing must mean more to Yoongi than you previously thought. And who are you to step on that dream?
Suddenly, all thoughts and concerns flee from the kiss on your cheek.
“I’ll stay if you stay,” he says, turning to move the pan and scrunching his face with a grunt. Fuck.
“I…” Shit, you were gonna go back to the house anyway. And from Yoongi’s smartass smirk, you can tell he already knew that. “Just need to check on him, too. And he doesn’t have a car right now, so. I should at least give him a ride.”
“Figured.” In a move so domestic your head spins, Yoongi turns your body and gently pats your butt. “Now go sit. Let’s eat and figure this out.”
—
—
As you devour a flawless meal and clean your dishes, you plan out the day. You’ll head home and check on your brother while Yoongi heads to the studio, and then you’ll rendezvous with your friends to hang out until he’s done with work. They’re already lighting up your phone like no one’s business—especially Yuri.
Yoongi flicks the sink off before you both head to his bedroom, and you melt at the way he slowly wraps his arms around your front halfway there, all four of your legs slowing to close the rest of the distance.
What’s he doing? This is joyfully new, but you have a pretty tight deadline. Warming his forearm and your own cheeks, you chuckle out, “We have to hustle, old man.”
“You hustle me all the time,” he accuses into your shoulder blade, kissing its ridge and making you reconsider walking out the door entirely. “Lemme have this.”
Your second laugh is more subdued, and you’re right between his bed and desk when you lift both hands to hold him close. “You have everything I got,” you wisp into his skin, planting your lips once, twice before you feel his arms press further in. “So this is nothing.”
Seconds and silence slide by, the delicate veil of early morning still hovering around the room. When Yoongi doesn’t say anything, you make to turn and face him.
But you’re stopped before your heart skips.
“I could stay like this all day,” he admits, voice so low it rumbles through your bones. “And it’d be perfect.”
“What, you don’t wanna see my face?” You joke with a giggle. “Rude, but that’s fine.”
Yoongi only buries his nose further, his glasses sliding against your skin peeking from his shirt. “I’m much braver right here, doll.”
Oh.
The leap your heart does is more of a dive, plummeting into the seafoam swirling around your feet. All the words you want to respond with jump off right after, leaving you with nothing but the clouds in your eyes.
You don’t quite know what he means by that. But it feels like those six words hold the weight of a thousand, so you simply let another kiss on his smooth forearm linger. “Do you want me to go with you?”
A puff of laughter warms you right through and, despite his earlier admission, Yoongi does slowly spin you around.
And when you follow, you realize you’re much braver when you aren’t facing him, too.
“It’s not that, babe,” he says through a dashing curve. “But the offer was cute.”
“I take it back then.”
“Damn!”
Both of your laughs whoosh out and collide, sweeping as Yoongi pinches your side and you flinch towards the bed. “You fucker—!”
Before you know it, your back hits a comforter before a weight presses your stomach, emotions clashing as you’re elated and shy and immediately concerned for your boyfriend’s side. “Baby, be careful—”
Lips capture yours, sucking up your warning before a hand slides under your head. Sighing, you arch into his chest, feeling the weight of his chains slip across your breasts.
Euphoria isn’t an adequate enough word to describe how you feel. Where there used to be flutters in your ribcage now reside strong, powerful wing beats, gusts of want and desire lifting you off the ground and launching you into clear skies. Starlight of every color exists within each kiss you share, and your fingers feebly grab his tee to keep you from falling back down to earth.
“If we don’t go now,” Yoongi rasps before sliding his mouth against yours, “We’re never going anywhere again.”
“I know,” you whisper, willingly letting him kiss you once more, “Is that a promise?”
“Fuck, I wish.”
You do, too. But you know you’re running out of time for what you need to do. And weren’t you just saying you had to respect his aspirations? Shit, you really do need to snap out of it. “Come on,” you order with a pat to his chest. “We have all week to do this. We got time.”
Turns out, you’re still amongst the heavens. The way Yoongi’s looking at you? This is the closest you’ll ever get to being held by an angel.
Did he get more handsome overnight? Or is it the light in his eyes sustained since his confession in the kitchen? You don’t quite know, and you may never pinpoint why, but the tug he has on your heart spans space and time.
And you’ll run through both forever to keep meeting him again and again.
Burns prick your eyes, but he mercifully stands before he can catch any evidence of your yearning.
Just like that, the two of you bounce back to getting ready, with him sliding notebooks and headphones in a backpack while you change into your own clothes. As you sling your bag over a shoulder, he reaches for the closest hoodie, and you wordlessly make your way to the front door.
You really do hope he gets looked at today. But just like the calm after a storm, you want to encourage him gently rather than shove him out. At least he seems receptive to your gentle suggestions.
But after you ask one more time and he simply nods, you lower your eyes to his kicks. “Sorry if I’m nagging. I’d just worry less if you went right away, that’s all.”
“You aren’t nagging, babe.” Your freshly bloomed lover reaches out to hold your wrist, smoothing a rough thumb over your skin. Fucking hell, you can’t help but frown at the gashes and cuts marring his knuckles. “I’ll go as soon as I can.”
Not just his hands, but his face. His ribs. And maybe other places you haven’t even seen yet.
You don’t wanna leave his side.
But you have to head out before your brother leaves. Things need to get patched up before he flies out into more stress, and you owe him an apology for walking out when he was still aching. Based on Yoongi’s physical state? Your brother could be hiding some big wounds and you didn’t even wanna talk to him.
However. Was last night necessary? Absolutely. You cannot entertain the possible outcomes had you not tried hard enough to get through Yoongi’s door. His eyes were so dulled, his hands felt so cold. What would have happened if you didn’t force yourself inside?
Why was that guitar smashed to pieces?
This is also why you refuse to leave. So many questions, so many things you still don’t know. Like what all happened when you were separated? And how in the hell is this man in love with you?
“I don’t wanna go,” you confess, instantly encased in his arms and warmth. “I’d much rather keep kissing you.”
“True,” he says with a resigned huff, shifting his glasses with an adorable nose scrunch. If only he didn’t have so many little red lines of conflict on his face. “But we both have stuff to take care of, so let’s get all that done first.”
“Ugh, fine.” Your groan is more teasing than serious, and Yoongi’s laugh is nothing but understanding.
Damn. You still feel it. You really don’t wanna go. Be it the rawness of last night still on your skin, or the confessions still on your tongues, you just wanna stay by his side. “Sorry,” you breathe out, lacing your fingers to pepper love along his strong, reddened ridges. “I’m serious. I don’t wanna leave you right now.”
Walking out of Yoongi’s door just doesn’t feel right. Even if he’s right there and will be following you out. Is this feeling normal? Are you supposed to feel this tightly woven to someone? Because the stitching between your hearts has only gotten stronger in the tempest of last night, as if you bonded together just to hold on for dear life.
Maybe that’s exactly what happened. And it’s exactly why you can barely take one step out of his place.
“Then don’t.”
Not one second passes before your chin is held, and lips slide so tenderly across yours that they may as well melt into your touch. Your reaction is quickly swooped into his mouth, and everything falls away as you let him seize your every thought. Lightning from last night zips out of your limbs, your toes, your fingers clasping his loose tee.
You might just cry where you stand.
How have his kisses gotten even better? How have you never felt this way even though you’ve done this far more times than you were ever supposed to? It should be impossible, and yet, this man finds even more ways to astound you.
Yoongi slips a hand over your cheek, giving one more beautiful push of his lips as he confesses, “I don’t wanna leave you, either.”
And your breath stutters onto his features. “You, too?”
Slow, he kisses your cheek, the clear rim of his specs skimming your nose. When he draws back, you look right into his eyes, wondering why he’s watching your mouth instead.
“Me, too.” Yoongi kisses your other side with a quiet peck. “Fuck, me, too.”
You fucking hate what you have to do, but you don’t have a choice.
With one last lingering kiss, you both gather enough courage to set out and do what you must.
—
—
Your house is already a flurry of activity as you enter to see your brother in the kitchen, packing his leather duffle that’s a constant companion on his trips.
Of course. The memory of him purchasing the lavish accessory pops into your head every time you watch him scurry around, dimples ever present on his proud cheeks. It’s almost enough to make you smile yet again.
But you can’t when the same face is currently scratched to hell. Just like Yoongi’s, if not worse.
Fuck, is he really gonna travel looking like that?
“Hey,” he rasps out, still fighting off slumber. “You’re back earlier than I thought.”
“Wanted to check on you before we left.” Fuck, your voice sounds like it’s being forced through a clogged pipe. Loosen the hell up! “And dude. Put some bandaids on, yeah?”
“Yeah, just give me a sec. Making sure I have everything before my ride gets here.”
“Huh?” He got a ride? You’re here now so you can take him to the airport. “You sure you don’t need me to drive you?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. I didn’t know you were coming back.”
Shit. His body seems just as angular as it did last night. Which, quite frankly, could still be from what went down in the lot.
Because even though you see both men banged up, you suddenly realize you don’t actually know what all transpired.
After all, there wasn’t much talk of it after you walked into the tempest of Yoongi’s living room.
Of course, you aren’t gonna bring it up just this second. There are other things to ask about and make sure of first. “Wallet? Phone? Passport?”
“Yup, yup, uhh.. Yup.”
Zippers sling in the quiet morning air as you continue, “And you’re coming back on Friday, right?”
“Oh.. Nah.” When you start crossing the kitchen, your brother hauls his leather bag over his better shoulder. Honestly, no one would be able to tell the other one’s bruised with his suit on. That thing damn well covers everything except the cuts on his face and hands. “Saturday.”
You pause in your journey to the medicine cabinet. “Wait.. Saturday? The release party’s on Friday.”
“Yeah.. I know.”
What the fuck? That’s bullshit they’re keeping him longer than they have to. Struggling to understand how corporate can keep your brother on a leash and get away with it, you urge, “Tell them to at least let you go home a day early. Don’t you wanna support your friends?”
“You mean Yoongi?”
A zing of terror zips through your eyes, freezing every vein in an instant.
The fuck was that question? Never mind. Stay calm stay calm stay fucking calm. “Uhh, yeah, he’s one of them? But the other guys, too, right? I know you care about them and this is huge.”
Mercifully, your sibling just shakes his head and waves you off. “Don’t you think I already tried? I don’t wanna miss it but I don’t have a choice. Conference schedule is pretty tight and I’m heading the panel on Friday.”
“Is it in the morning? You can fly out after—”
“Why are you fighting so hard?”
“Why aren’t you fighting harder!”
Okay, what in the hell is happening right now? Screw optics and how this must look for you, your brother needs to be there. Him and Yoongi are the tightest of friends, the most ride or die duo you’ve ever seen. You can’t picture a timeline where he misses this monumental moment, and it’s starting to really upset you that he’s barely trying.
“You think I’m not fighting for it?”
“I certainly don’t think you’re trying enough—”
“Alright, you know what?” Hard steps surge forward as you stand rigid, a duffle hastily dumped onto tile. “You don’t know what I’ve tried. You don’t even know if I even told him yet.”
Fucking shit. You hold his stare before turning away, tossing out the idea of bandages entirely and searing footsteps into the hallway—
“Or do you.”
Before icing over with the unforgiving frost of zero gravity space.
Slow, you turn, not quite facing him but not backing down, either. “…Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You talkin’? What else has he been doing to you?”
Oh. Fuck that.
Doing to you?
Fuck all of this. This is too much to handle right now and you know you’re gonna snap if he keeps pushing because you are not having this conversation right before he leaves. You’ve already thought about this before, right? You cannot fuck with his head right before business trips because he needs to be on and locked in.
But now he’s fucking with your temper and those are some choice fucking words pulled out of his ass.
You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately threatened this man to his face and meant it before, and it tears a sharp corner of your heart, “You better be very careful. With whatever you wanna say next.”
The air proves too thick to slice. While your body stands aflame, your brother is iced over, brimming with an energy that damn near takes physical form. “All I’m saying is? I find out some fucking bullshit is going on—”
No no no, not now.
Reacting fast is your only instinct, brain haywire and fizzling fizzling boiling. Harsh, you spin on your heel and shout the first thing you can think of, “Oh, come on—”
“You better hope to god you’re ready for what’s coming—”
“Stop!” Fuck fuck fuck, this is so frustrating because your head is exploding and your body is screaming to just tell him already. Fuck the consequences at this point this is ludicrous.
Doing to you? Yoongi? How dare he speak about his best friend like that how dare he accuse him without outright saying the words all you have to do is tell your brother how wrong he’s got it.
But you can’t be the one. Yoongi said he would, and he probably took months to get to that point of strength—and healing, from what you can tell.
This is between them. Them. You have to honor that, as much as you wanna just confess everything now and deal with it yourself.
But goddamn your brother is pulsing with anger and it’s leaking into your own charged air.
What does he think is happening? Does he think Yoongi’s just, what, playing you? He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. Yoongi’s been nothing but the best thing that’s ever happened to you and shit your heart hurts because…
Your brother is valid in thinking that.
How foolish. Didn’t you guard your heart from Yoongi for the longest? Didn’t everything start because you figured you knew who he was because of his reputation? You got him all wrong, too. So how can you be mad at your brother for doing the same?
Fuck, think. Just think before someone gets hurt.
Because if you aren’t careful, someone—or multiple someones—will get hurt in seconds. You have to bear the pain alone right now. To protect them both, you have to keep your trembling mouth shut.
And? You have to admit that something isn’t fair here. Not to you, not to Yoongi, but to him. Last night was rough as fuck but, while you both got to have raw, beautiful closure, the one standing in front of you had to go to sleep in an empty house.
So chill the fuck out.
Breathing to cool down, you tense and loosen, tense and loosen. “I get it. You’re angry, and you have a lot going on. But,” you bite down on your lip to keep going. “We’re talking about something else. We’re talking about you, and I’m still pissed you even let those guys goad you into a fight. What are we, twelve?”
Seething, your sibling takes the switch of pace. But it is not what you want to hear. “Are you seri—? What the hell was I supposed to do? That son of a bitch grabbed you—”
“I know,” you recoil. “Don’t tell me like you were there, because you weren’t.”
Finally—finally—those angry lines in his face vanish.
But they make way for something much worse than anger. Because your older brother, someone that’s been there for you your whole life..
Looks absolutely stricken over the one time he wasn’t.
Damn it.
Regretful, you drop your shoulders in exhaustion and quiet compromise. When you continue, your voice is much softer, “But I told you: they were. Your friends, they were there because they knew you wanted that. Jimin got me away, Yoongi took me home and stayed.”
You really have got to stop saying his name like you love him. It could start becoming too obvious.
Shuddering, you shift your weight, folding your arms and shrinking into yourself.
That night, despite Yoongi’s best and most gentle efforts, still clings to where that loser touched you at Dalo. You hate that you haven’t gotten over it, and you loathe the way you still rub over the same spot. Over, and over. “What did you want him to do? Leave me here?”
“No.”
“Exactly. And he didn’t.” You adjust your stance again, making an impromptu gamble as you decide to let some truth leak out. Because your brother is owed at least this much. “And fine, you wanna know something? We do talk more because of it.”
Your brother’s head snaps up, and you brace. Because if you show any shred of weakness or hesitation, he’ll see right through your weak attempt to hide most of the truth,
“But don’t ever accuse him of doing anything to me. That was fucked up to say and you know it.”
“Fuck.” In agreement, he rubs his hair back. “It was. I’m sorry.”
“Trust me,” you swallow, hating that this is how things have to be for now. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s never.. Never done anything to me, anyway.”
It’s not a lie. Everything he’s done has been with you. For you. Because of you.
But your heart’s in anguish as it sinks. Because that expression on your older sibling’s face can only be one thing.
Pure. Utter. Relief.
Fire singes your eyes before you can quell the flame. It’s the hardest technical truth to swallow.
Sure, he doesn’t have anything to worry about as far as you being safe. And on top of that, he doesn’t have to worry about any fake shit because Yoongi confessed to you last night.
But as far as his best friend sleeping with and now dating his sister behind his back? That is still very much sitting right in the center of the table.
And now you’re starting to see just how fucked all three of you are as soon as you sit down to eat the truth.
But Yoongi said he’d be the one to tell, so he will.
This feeling is so fucking miserable, though.
In the end, your brother is effectively convinced, raking a hand across his head and sighing. “Jimin told me what all went down at Dalo, I just… Last night was… Fucked up.”
“Well, yeah.”
“No. See, this is just like what you said to me. You can’t say it like you were there.”
It’s your stomach’s turn to twist. “So? You were scratched and bruised to hell, and Y…” Shut up, shut up. You’re not supposed to know about the state of anyone else. “And you were… quieter.”
“Because of what happened, dude.”
You blink. “What… What happened?”
Your brother looks at you—really looks at you.
And suddenly, your gut flares in terror, storming in an instant across your abdomen.
“That bitch pulled something on us.”
Your heart.
It’s in freefall.
“Wait… What?” You can’t even form more than one syllable at a time, your legs turning gelatinous and knees starting to give out. “No… What are you…?”
What the fuck did he just say? That bitch pulled a what?
Your sibling slowly walks toward you once again, watching like he’s just waiting for you to say anything. Do anything.
But you’re a complete statue because all you can think about is the horror of something happening and the relief that nothing happened all at once.
Was Yoongi too scared to mention that part? Is this why he was holding back and shaking every time he reached out to touch you? Even this morning, he was so…
You’ve never seen him like that. Is this why?
Your mind is swirling and crashing, overlapping each passing thought and scream running through your head. “I’m so sorry,” you hitch out, “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Didn’t wanna scare you,” he sighs out. Putting both hands on his hips, your brother stops feet away, visibly still shook as he pierces wooden planks with his stare. “But he pulled it right before Yoongi… and if it weren’t…Fuck.”
Burns flare and slice through your eyes when he has to pause. What is he trying to say? Pulled what?
Before Yoongi what?
Your brother continues, and your throat tightens. “If it weren’t for some random ass sirens, I… Things could’ve been so different.”
What the fuck is happening. What the hell are you hearing?
“It was probably dumb as fuck. But I was so fucking angry,” he grits out, watery eyes crushed looking your way. “So fucking mad at how he was talking about you, I.. Walked right up to him and told him to fuck off.”
You can’t even breathe.
“I still feel it,” he quietly adds, fingers pressed against his side. “Right here.”
“Fuck,” you finally choke out, eyes on fucking fire.
“But all I knew was to keep you all safe,” he says, with hardened resolve and a wobbly chin. “And that’s exactly what I did. I did that shit, even if that meant—”
Tears fling out of your eyes, flowing hot down your cheeks because you wouldn’t want any of them to go out that way. Nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened and yet your body is acting as if something did and it hurts.
Your brother is there as soon as you crumple forward, letting you bury your head in his chest and sob your heart out. For him, for his friends, and for all the time you had with the man you love so, so dearly.
If anything happened to your brother before you came clean… If anything happened before you and Yoongi could even…
Suddenly, you feel equal weights of guilt. For running out on your brother. And for almost walking out on Yoongi.
You decide an apology is in order for both of them, and all the understanding in the world for Yoongi’s frosted demeanor as soon as you get him alone again.
And you are one hundred percent going to tell your brother everything once he’s back.
The tears cannot stop, and you’re sure you are crying unimpeded in a pressed and primmed suit. “I’m so sorry,” you keep repenting like a prayer. “This is all my fault.”
“No—”
“You almost—”
“Hey, stop.” He yanks you back, both of your faces soaked with saltwater. “What did I say before? I threw the first swing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But it led to all this, I just.. I just feel so fucking stupid.”
“Don’t. Hey, look at me.” Firm but gentle, he holds you at arm’s length, forcing you to face him. “Maybe we’re both stupid, but you weren’t the idiot. I was.”
You feel so many conflicting things in your soul.
What would you have done if Yoongi was in critical condition? What would you have done differently if your brother was instead? Are they the same? Are the two situations really so different anymore?
No they aren’t they aren’t they aren’t.
“Please don’t do that again,” you shake out. “Even if it was for me, if I ever lost you, I...”
“You know I can’t promise anything.” He furrows his brows when you eye him with anger and sadness. “But nothing like that is happening again. Especially with the same dudes.”
“Okay.”
A vicious tornado of emotions sends your whole body into agonizing pain. This isn’t what you expected at all, and it’s causing your limbs to lock at the bends. Too many scenarios are jangling about yet you can’t ask for specifics because that will just make it even more real.
A nightmare is somehow better once you know it ends with you waking up. “I’m… gonna need some time to process everything.”
“I know. And I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but… You deserve to know the things I get into.”
Ah.
The irony is not lost on you.
“At least, if they involve you. We learned our lesson. You were right to tell us off.”
God. You feel numb.
“Thanks,” you murmur, suddenly immensely tired. “I think I need more sleep.”
A blaring honk sounds outside the house, and you both flinch at the noise.
And your throat burns at the way your brother instinctively swept you behind his back.
When you realize what it is, you know what has to come next.
And he’s the first to react as he turns to face you again, “Alright. I’m heading out, just remember to go get my baby when she’s fixed, yeah?”
“Do you have to go?”
Wait.
The question seems to startle him as much as it does you.
How did you blurt it right out before even registering the words? Why does your heart clench at the sight of those eyes looking so pained?
Why does everything feel so shaky within these walls that were always your home?
“I do,” he says, voice tight. “I’m sorry.”
And why the fuck do you feel sad he’s leaving?
“No, no, it’s.. Of course you have to.” You can’t help the lump in your throat from bobbing, the regret in your limbs as they barely move at your side. “I dunno why I asked, I guess I just..”
There’s no response to your sniffle.
“Sorry for yelling,” you squeak out. “I just feel really queasy.”
For a lot more reasons than one.
“We all made it out,” your brother whispers. “That’s what matters.”
“Will you… Will you at least try to be back for the party?”
The man swallows with his brows knit tight, then attempts to crack the tiniest smile. “You know I will. That’s my guy.”
“Okay.” You nod, sniffling again. After what he just told you? You know he’ll do anything for the ones he loves. “See you there.”
Your brother rubs a comforting palm over your head before turning, heading for the door and grabbing his leather duffle.
When he stops to glance at you one more time, you give a little wave of your hand before watching the door click shut.
Chest caving as you collapse to the ground in tears.
—
—
The need to call Yoongi burns so harshly your fingers damn near set your top aflame.
But he’s at work, and you can’t fuck things up right when you’re approaching the finish line. You almost did with your brother, and that gave you twelve heart attacks in the span of minutes.
Still. Your chest aches so much that a thirteenth could very well be approaching. You don’t even realize you’re bracing the hallway wall for support until you try to stand, back sore and aching from bending so far for so long.
What did your brother mean to say about Yoongi? What did that coward pull on them? Do you even want to know what happened?
Fighting back tears, you reach down for your phone, shakily typing out a message only to erase it. Then again. And again.
And again.
Giving up, you forcefully swallow all your worries, cringing at the bitterness of the unknown and the burnt molasses of hidden truths.
It’s going to be okay. No matter what you think or imagine in your head, they made it out, they made it out, they are all alive.
That’s the only reason you can move forward, each step getting you from your room. To your bathroom.
And back again.
—
—
After showering, you feel lighter and refreshed, though the soreness between your legs has yet to leave.
But you wouldn’t want it any other way, as it’s another reminder of Yoongi’s apparent brush with survival. His broken living room spurned the creation of your bond, your devotion to him as he confessed before you gave him your utmost trust in his sheets.
The end is so close. As soon as this week is over, you’ll rip the last bit of peel from your pair of tangerines, baring all truths to your brother and facing the consequences.
Finally ready, you head to your car, opening your text threads with a plan: start slow.
Start with something that can be interpreted neutrally if anyone saw it on his phone screen, especially if your headstrong ex is in the room.
You [12:31pm]: how are you feeling?
Yoongi [12:34pm]: 1 Attachment
You close your door with brows furrowed.
Yoongi’s at the hospital?
That’s not what you expected at all.
Your chest swells with relief knowing he’s there, but you also wanna make sure he’s feeling okay. Especially his mental state after whatever the fuck your brother just dropped on you before leaving.
Goddamn, that’s going to gnaw at your brain until you find the right time and right amount of courage to ask about it. Because it’s very possible Yoongi won’t tell you.
Because it’s probably something he knows you won’t like.
Fuck.
You [12:34pm]: Loved an Attachment
You [12:34pm]: thank you for listening🤍 still sore?
Yoongi [12:35pm]: Yeah, but not bad. Just there.
Wait. He’s not at the studio. That means you can—
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you slowly say as you pull out into the street. “I’m driving now so this is easier.”
“Course. You going to Tae’s?”
“Maybe. I’m going to Yuri’s first.” You swallow, realizing that you didn’t tell him about what you let slip before driving over. “I.. Told her. About you.”
There’s a little bit of silence on the line, just some adjustments and muffled speaker sounds. “Sorry, just writing this down. What’s wrong with that?”
You huff through your nose. Gotta be those patient forms that always take forever to fill out. “Oh. Just more and more people knowing, is all.”
“Everyone’s gonna know eventually.”
You hold back a small smile. Because he’s right. “Yeah. I’m just tired of this feeling.”
“Like you’re hiding something.”
It’s your turn for silence. He doesn’t know how accurately that was played out today. The only answer you can provide is a curt, “Exactly.”
“Same.”
Wings beat around your heart again.
He wants this. Yoongi really, really wants this. And years ago, that outcome wouldn’t have even crossed your mind as an option.
“Thank you for going, baby.”
“The guys made me.”
You hum. “Which ones.”
After a pause, you hear a puff of amusement. “All of them at some point today, actually.”
All of them? Does that include your brother? Did they talk about the trip already?
Your laugh is bittersweet. “Well. Glad to know you can be forced by everyone else except me.”
“Hey, I was already gonna go because of you!” Yoongi quietly retorts, and you giggle at the pout in his words. “Just wanted to get a headstart on work first.”
You were right. He really does wanna go all out for his musical endeavors.
It’s extremely admirable, and wildly attractive, but it does come to a point. “As much as I love your passion, old man, I wanna keep you upright.”
He laughs soft into the line, and you think you can listen to that specific sound on an infinite loop. “That’s fair.”
“How long is it gonna take, you think?”
“Dunno. But I’ll keep myself busy until I’m out.”
Of course he will. You don’t doubt he won’t waste any time. Didn’t he bring journals in his backpack? You wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote ten thousand songs before being called in. “Just call me if you need anything, please?”
“Of course, babe.”
“Thank you,” you say with utmost sincerity. “If only my brother would be less stubborn and get checked, too.”
“He’ll probably do it once he gets there.”
“Did you convince him?”
“Nah. But once he knows I did, he’ll do it.”
“Figures.” You scoff. “Okay, I’m almost there. Let me know how it goes.”
“K. Bye, doll.”
You didn’t ask him what went down. But it’s not the time nor place, and you have plenty of chances this week to figure out when that would be—if at all.
“Talk soon.”
—
—
For a normally bustling household, Yuri’s house is quiet.
So it’s not shocking when you walk into the kitchen and see all your friends glance your way, slowly vacating their chairs with eyes never leaving your face. Even Reia is on high alert.
Did Yuri tell her? Did Yuri tell anyone else?
No. She’s a talker and loves spilling, but she promised. And when she promises something, you know you can trust her to keep it.
It’s what pours emotion in your voice as you meekly greet, “Hey, guys—”
A crushing hug closes your throat. Yuri’s the one that gets to you first, with Reia and Dominique waiting their turns to offer you healing, relieved embraces.
“What happened?”
“Scared us half to death.”
Dom puts you at arm’s length to give a once over, noting your face rubbed raw and eyes still a little bloodshot. Thankfully, her pupils hold more concern than disappointment. “You good?”
Your eyes wobble alongside your smile, and you think it’s enough proof. “More than that,” you still decide to whisper, and your heart beats again at her reaction.
“Thank god. I was ready to kick your ass if you weren’t.”
Heading up to Yuri’s room, you all wait until the door is swung back before mounting her canopy bed, sitting in a tight circle as you divulge everything.
Well. Almost everything.
You tell them that Yoongi is the one you’ve been seeing, how you went to check on him last night in a panic, and the terrifying reason why. When you mention the fight after the basketball game, all three of your friends erupt in questions, and you have to assure them everything turned out okay. Honestly, you also do this to assure yourself, too.
“So… Your brother’s just fine with all of this?” Reia asks, not noticing the tick of Dom’s jaw.
“Well,” you start with a higher pitch, earning a pair of groans. “He doesn’t exactly know yet—”
“Yup. He’s gonna murder him.”
“Yeah, should we say our condolences now or..”
“How long has this been going on?” Reia fires off another question that digs into your chest. “Was he the one you were seeing the whole time?”
“Yes,” you admit with a sigh. “I should’ve told you guys from the beginning, but. The whole thing just felt so delicate. But! We just started making things official recently, so..”
Dom turns your way. “Official how?”
Well. Here goes everything.
With a shaky breath, and lingering feelings from the time it happened, you reveal with watery eyes, “Yoongi… Told me he loves me.”
Both Yuri and Reia react in yelps, Dom’s gaze lowering as the girls reach to grab your hands.
Wait. What’s going on with her? She’s the one that knows the most, she’s the one that covered for you all those months ago. She has to be the one that is the least surprised at all this.
Blinking, you note to confront her about it later. Right now, you’re too focused on trying not to cry as your friends tumble out questions and support,
“He said it? Did you say it first or did he?”
“How did it happen! Oh, I’m so happy for you, babe—”
“Thank—thank you, Yuri,” you squeeze out as she hugs you close. “I couldn’t believe it, but he just.. Said it. We weren’t even doing anything, I was just.. Looking up what injuries he could have..”
And he confessed in the most Yoongi fashion he could have.
Looking back, it shouldn’t shock you at all. He’s always found ways to sweep you off your proverbial feet, so why would a confession plucked from the heavens be any different?
She lets you go before wiping her eyes, Reia and even Dom now sporting watery pupils, too.
“As much as I’m upset at you for not telling us, I’ve never been so happy for you.” When Yuri’s features crease in another sob, you sniffle along with the rest. “It’s been so long since you… And you really.. Fuck.”
You know what she’s trying to say, and the realization has your throat constricting so tight.
It’s been forever since you’ve had something like this, someone like this. When you and Jungkook were together, you told him that you loved him before he broke it off.
Sure, you bought the rings together, but he never uttered those words until years after when it didn’t even matter. And all your relationships after his were complete and utter bullshit, so you don’t think you ever even heard those three words and knew them to be true.
Yoongi was the first to ever say them so sincerely.
And that fact makes your ducts burn and burn.
And when Yuri finally speaks, it breaks the dam holding your real deluge back,
“I can’t think of anyone else that deserves to be loved more than you.”
All at once, everything streams out as you hunch forward. The pain of everything you’ve endured, the hopelessness of knowing you’d most likely end up alone, the excruciating prospect of a future that you never deemed bright, or peaceful, or comforting.
And to think that even this man could’ve been snatched away from you in a snap? Even more tears overlap with the ones you’re shedding, and you can’t even reach out to hug all three beautiful, angelic souls surrounding you with tight arms and sobs because your limbs lock at all bends.
It’s the exact release you need. All your friends supporting you, all the pent up anxiety of last night and today, the truth setting itself free in some capacity—all in the comfort of a plushie-laden bed you only doubted yourself in last time.
Everything’s gonna be alright. It has to be. You’re gonna fight for the ones you love, even if a war between them is inevitable.
It takes a few minutes of heavy silence for you all to separate, swiping and rubbing tears while letting out happy sniffles.
When you thank them for being understanding, they assure you it’s okay. And when you say you’re going to tell your brother soon, a force from the doorway has all of you leaping from lilac sheets,
“Tell him what?”
Jia stands firm with a laundry basket at her hip, and Yuri scoffs at her older sister for barging in. “A knock would’ve been nice!”
Fuck!
You can’t tell Jia of all people. If you spill anything about Yoongi, she’s one hundred percent going to tell your brother. They’re the same age, and run in pretty tight circles, so of course you are not going to risk it.
But you can tell her something else you’re going to tell your older sibling, so you fire out a half-truth,
“Tell him not to pick any other fights that could get him killed.”
Jia’s eyes zoom to your wrecked face, and she drops the laundry with haste before asking, “What happened? When? Tell me now.”
Huh. Maybe your brother has a type, if he’s still into Jia like he said before.
You feel a little spark in your chest as you let her know they all got in a scuffle after the basketball game, and another pang as she immediately abandons the room and clothes with a fierce declaration,
“I’m gonna kill them myself!”
“Don’t worry, I already hounded my brother!” You call out after her, sighing as Yuri shakes her head with a smile. “She gets like that when she’s really worried, huh.”
“Yeah..” Your friend leans to look around you, noticing the basket left alone on the ground. “And if she’s super fired up, she drops everything and doesn’t stop until it’s handled. Clearly.”
Maybe both older siblings really are similar.
The firestorm of an interruption seemed to break the tension in the room, with all of you finally relaxing and catching up. When they ask you questions, you answer what you can.
And when you divulge information that has your ears burning, their squeals and yells give you whole new reasons to live.
—
—
After a very comforting lunch Yuri’s mom cooked, you head to the bathroom when your phone suddenly vibrates through your palm.
Huh? That’s weird. You expect the name on your screen to be Taehyung, not Yoongi.
Not that it’s a bad thing. You’ve been waiting to hear from him, so this is a pleasant surprise.
Closing the door to the guest bathroom, you gaze at the calming sage decor with a smile. “Hi, how did it—”
“You’re coming over later, right?”
Oh, shit. Is he okay?
“Yes, baby,” you respond with a soothing lilt, ears perked and body on high alert.
Does he think you aren’t anymore? You both decided on the plans earlier. Surely he knows you’d never just flake on him. “I’m coming back once you’re done with work, remember?”
There’s an uncomfortable pause on the line, which makes your boyfriend’s next question jab you so far in the lungs you can’t breathe,
“…Can it be now?”
Shit.
Just like Jia earlier, you drop every plan you have to the wayside. You’re sure that Taehyung will understand, and you already got through the biggest conversation you needed to with your friends.
“Of course,” you whoosh out. “Lemme just say bye and I’ll go.”
“Take your time.” A small shuffling interrupts. “It’ll take me a bit to get back.”
“Okay. See you there.”
The strained urgency in his voice makes your hair stand on end, so you vacate the bathroom to inform the girls that you gotta go—but not without a quick head tilt towards Dom, who follows you outside and into the afternoon sun.
—
—
You wait until you’re next to your car on the street, turning with a concerned expression and jittery nerves, “What’s up with you? Did I do something wrong?”
Turns out, you read Dominique correctly. Her jaw locks before loosening, and it reminds you of the time she confronted you about Yoongi before. God, how much has changed since then. That feels like ages and ages ago.
“It’s not about you,” your best friend clears the air and the tightness in your shoulders. “I’m just.. Glad he came around.”
“Yoongi?” When Dom nods, you blink. “Wait, what?”
“At your house that night.. After he left your room, we had—I dunno, a heart-to-heart.” She sighs, flicking braids over her shoulder. You note to compliment the beads she chose this time, because they remind you of summer and simpler times. “I might’ve pressured him a bit, and.. I think he wanted to tell me that he loved you. All the way back then.”
Something in your heart stutters, and you can only repeat your last question, “What?”
“Yeah. Something about needing to do something first,” she continues, holding your gaze with perfect brows furrowed in sunlight. “But I could tell he was damn serious about whatever it was. And if he was willing to do it for you? I let it go.”
Your mind whirls.
Yoongi was already in love with you back then? Is that why he needed to let you go? To deal with whatever he had to do?
One side of you breaks thinking he had to go through all that alone; the other side is screaming at his past self for not even giving you a choice. What did he go through? What did he have to do?
Now you really have to see him. Immediately.
“Thank you, Dom,” you rush out while opening your door. “I’m just happy it’s over.”
“The hell it’s not.” Shooting you a glare that heats the oncoming breeze, she reminds, “It’s not over until your brother knows. And based on everything that’s happened? That conversation is not gonna go over well.”
A dark, simmering boil starts in your stomach, and you’re already feeling queasy again. Tightening your door handle, you gulp hard. “I know.”
“Trust me, I’m happy for you both. I am.” Both hands find her hips as she levels a gaze that you really, really don’t enjoy. “But I’m gonna be honest, I think this is gonna ruin their friendship for good.”
Both of your lungs clamp shut.
“Please don’t say that,” you beg, “I’m gonna fight for all of us. I will.”
“I don’t doubt that, babe. Hey, uh uh, come here.” Reaching out, she gives you a tight hug just when you feel fragile again.
“Listen to me. I don’t doubt that,” she says into your shoulder. “I’m just here to be realistic. Just don’t be shocked if that’s how it goes. We’ll be here for you no matter what, too.”
“Okay,” you say with a scrunched face into her scent. God, she always smells so good, and it’s almost enough to calm you down. Almost almost almost. “Thank you. But I’m not giving up.”
“That’s my girl.” She squeezes you one more time. “I love you.”
With eyes searing over, you choke and grip her tighter. “I love you, too.”
—
—
Yoongi’s door warms your back as you wait for him to show.
But there’s a good chance it can just be your volcanic anxiety.
Ever since your arrival, you’ve paced, you’ve gnawed on your lips, you’ve had to shake the nerves out of your hands.
And over and over, you’ve strained your neck to look for your favorite cat, because you could sincerely use even a glimpse of her right now.
While she doesn’t end up showing, Yoongi rounds the nearest corner minutes after your last desperate scan.
Fuck, he’s so handsome.
Even now, as he simply walks toward you with a backpack slung over his shoulder, you watch with undying yearning to feel those flowing bangs over his forehead. You’d even settle for a single touch of his cheeks, one of them currently sporting a thin bandage.
But the closer Yoongi gets, the quicker your admiration morphs into concern. There’s a deep bend in his brows that you can’t decipher, and his fist is balled pretty tight.
Seriously, what happened? He looks so troubled that you slowly push off the doorway to ask,
“Baby, what’s—”
A bag hits the ground before you’re swooped into a kiss so electric your lips spark.
Him. Him, him, and more him. For the love of everything you don’t understand what’s happening but you kiss Yoongi back with everything you have, arms slinging around his strong shoulders and tugging him closer because he clearly needed this.
And fuck if you didn’t need it just as much. Screw it if anyone sees you. This is all you want and you’ll stay right here until he pulls away.
When he finally does, both of you swallow to catch your breaths, and your soul glimmers when his forehead meets yours.
“Hi, baby,” you whisper to his exhales. “Missed you, too.”
Silent, your lover kisses your forehead before hugging you close, and you’re more sure of your prediction than ever. Something is bothering him.
He doesn’t look worse, at least. But there’s clearly something off and he’s not hiding it. His lack of words is loud enough.
“Let’s go inside,” you quietly suggest. “I would’ve gone in already but I don’t have a key.”
He nods, fishing out his keyring to let you both inside.
When you set your bags down and slip off your shoes, it’s only seconds before you’re softly pulled into a hug again, surprising yet so, so welcoming.
Even only after a few hours, you’ve missed the fuck out of him. Which makes all of this an outright dream.
“Sorry,” Yoongi finally murmurs against your shoulder. “I just…”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” You stroke a hand along his hair, massaging his scalp and loving how soft it feels. The windswept strands fall back into place as you keep running your fingers through. “Did you at least get your appointment?”
“Yeah, I did.” He buries his face further. “Nothing bad. Just can’t lift anything heavy for a couple days.”
“Good. That’s easy to manage,” you whisper back into his tee, feeling the chill of lingering air conditioning and body warmth all at once. “Is something else bothering you?”
“Not exactly.” Whatever that means. “I’ll tell you about it later. Just wanted this, and you.”
Oh. That’s…
“I’m here now, love,” you assure with a melting heart, wondering what happened to cause this behavior.
Is it because of last night? Or something that happened today? You’re anxious all over again, but from the way Yoongi’s acting, your worries are second to his. “Have you eaten yet?”
He shakes his head, only pulling you closer with not a word from his lips.
And from this point on, you make a silent vow to yourself. Whatever Yoongi needs, you’re going to take care of him.
No matter what, these next few days are all about him—a minuscule sacrifice in comparison to everything he’s done for you, whether you knew about it or not.
“I’ll make you something then. Come on.”
When you walk, you slip your hand down his arm to hold his hand, and your lead into his kitchen is short.
“Any requests?” You cheerfully ask as you spare a smile over your shoulder. “We can do… Something light…”
Only to see him staring back with nothing but a lingering sense of longing.
Okay.
You need to get to the bottom of this now.
Stopping right over linoleum, you leave no room for arguments, “Yoongi. Tell me what’s wrong.”
He blinks before his gaze meets the floor. So you’re confused when he simply, quietly..
Laughs?
“It’s not that something’s wrong,” he slowly starts, a shy smile carving his features. “For the first time in my life, nothing’s wrong.”
Your heart beats extra loud.
“But it’s too much to explain right now.” His eyes rise to meet yours. “Just know that I’m so in love with you.”
Oh.
“And I want you to know that every day I live.”
Fuck.
Your body responds before you can say anything, lips connecting to remove any need for speech. The knowledge of them all staring death in the face last night makes this confession sear your insides, and you can’t help but kiss him like you’ll never get to again.
Yanking him back, you spin on your heel until he flings into the kitchen, clutching your wrists before gripping your jaw with both hands.
His mouth heats on yours, his glasses the only barrier between your skin. Everything sizzles from your head to your toes, and you both bang into a countertop before—
“Fuck, ouch.”
“Shit, you okay?”
Yoongi rubs his side with one eye pinched shut, a corner of his teeth present. “Yeah. Worth it, though.”
“Be serious,” you reprimand. Looks like he’s gonna have to take it easy, which means no going at it like animals until he’s on the mend. “No more until you feel better, yeah?”
“Says who?”
“Babe.”
His deadly pout almost breaks your resolve. “Fine.”
But you can wait. You’re sure it won’t take long, and for this man? You’ll wait however long you need to.
Besides, there’s plenty of things you can do in the meantime that don’t require running into hard objects.
“Good. Now let’s…” You turn away to get started before you’re held, and pulled back into yet another embrace.
What the hell is happening today? Your lungs and your melting pile of a brain can only take so much. It’s beautifully overwhelming how Yoongi can’t seem to let you go, because you’re the one that always loses control.
This whole time, it’s been you that can’t hold yourself back.
So now? Being on the other side? You don’t think you ever want him to restrain himself again.
This time, he moves slow. Sensuously slow, and it would occur to you that he’s finding a very cheeky loophole to your plan if you weren’t so hazy-eyed.
Whatever Yoongi’s doing, you won’t stop him.
Your back touches a counter before Yoongi cages you in, and your lips mold together as perfectly as his body does with yours. Your unhurried strokes match his, and your minds communicate without a single word.
There’s yearning still ever present. But there’s comfort in abundance, and a whole new level of need.
After he pulls away, you can visibly see him drink you in from head to toe.
“You know.. I’m good holding off on all the other shit.” Pulling you in, his lips curve as he confidently declares, “But I’m never gonna stop kissing you.”
His hands, his lips, his words. They all have healing powers, you’re so sure of it. If Yoongi hasn’t yet realized his unending pain has blossomed into a safe haven, you need to let him know no matter what,
“Good.”
There’s still a pining in his eyes, but he lets you free, hand skirting your hip before he walks to his room. “Gonna change then I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to, baby,” you say as you struggle to catch your breath. “I got it.”
Three minutes later, he’s chopping an onion anyway.
But you’re loving how serene everything feels with the two of you prepping and dicing, thumps of knives on wood intertwining in sound before you laugh at his crying over the pesky vegetable. Maybe if he wore contacts instead of specs, he’d be better off.
Not that his choice of eyewear is what you’re complaining about. But those glasses paired with the cream tees he’s been wearing? There will be hell to pay as soon as you get a chance at revenge.
Your pot is set to boil for a bit, so you finally rest against the counter and start a timer on his microwave. “Go ahead,” you gesture to your very handsome cooking partner. “You can sit now.”
“Huh? We’re not done yet.”
“Oh.” Blinking, you tilt your head in confusion because you could’ve sworn you heard him yawn a couple times. “You aren’t tired?”
“I am,” he says before squeezing his eyes, rapid blinks to follow. “But I’m fine here.”
You toss and turn the food around, sprinkling a little more seasoning and hearing the bubbles and fizzes. When you stir a little more, a sudden thought occurs, halting your movements and spinning you around,
“Are you staying there to watch my ass.”
Yoongi’s slow smile gives everything away, but he also makes up for the blatant staring.
“Can’t deny that’s one of the things.” Pushing off the sink, he stands right next to you, slotting a hand behind your neck and angling you for a kiss. “But I meant it earlier. I just…”
You’re completely silent as you watch him slide his eyes from your face to the sizzling food. Whatever he’s thinking about, you’re gonna give him all the room to talk.
“Just like being where you are.”
How you went from almost running out of his door to here, you aren’t quite sure. But you’re grateful for that split second of him deciding to fight for the two of you instead of against, because you really were going to leave.
And you may have taken much, much longer to even try going back.
Your voice is barely heard over the aromatic smell and fizzle, “Good thing I like having you around.” When he smiles again, you let out a breath of a giggle, going back to shuffling the pan around and tilting your head to the fridge. “I put some fruit in there if you wanna eat that, too.”
“I’m down.”
“K.”
Your food is ready soon enough, and the two of you eat while talking about easy topics. Like work and your workplace dynamics, what Yoongi’s team has been working on at the studio.
At one point, your curiosity about the album release party grows from something he says. “Speaking of. The party’s on Friday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I thought so,” you deflate, setting your bowl down on the table. “Sorry he can’t go.”
“Huh?”
Your body stills. “Wait. Did he not say anything? About his trip being extended?”
So much for nothing in his life being wrong. From the lost look on his face, you may have given him another reason to fold back in on himself. “No.. No, he didn’t.”
Both of you sit in silence.
This could be nothing. Right? That means your brother is confident he can make it so there’s no point in telling Yoongi he’s gonna miss it. Or maybe he’s not trying hard enough and then not being able to say it to his face?
“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “I thought he told you.”
“It’s okay.” Clearly it’s not. “Not much to do about it now.”
“Yoongi… What if he knows?” At your own question, you stiffen, curling into a proverbial ball. Fear and the sick backfire of fibbing has your mouth going drier than desert air. “What if he actually knows?”
Setting down his chopsticks, Yoongi looks your way, eyes unreadable behind his specs. “If he did, do you think he’d leave us alone?”
He’s got a point. “Guess not.”
“Mm.” Flicking his eyes to the window, he adjusts uncomfortably in his chair. “And I dunno if I mentioned this, but.. He thinks I got back with my ex.”
“Fuck, really?”
“That’s the real reason why he hasn’t been talking to me. Maybe he thinks she’s gonna be there on Friday.”
“Oh.” Your shoulders sag, and sag. Not owning up to your relationship is one thing; Yoongi having to dwell in his previous relationship is another. “Is that… worse?”
“Kinda.” Yoongi’s eyes fall. “Much worse.”
“Shit.” Reaching across wood, you close your hand around his fingers for support. It’s the only thing you can think to do. At least, it’s what you would want if you were in his shoes. “I think you should tell him she won’t be.”
A million seconds later, Yoongi thankfully agrees. “Yeah, I will.”
You feel better. Somewhat. At least a little less nauseous about the possibility of your brother knowing.
But it still sucks knowing that he’s actively avoiding Yoongi because of an ex he used to have.
How bad was it back then if this is the case? What exactly happened? Is this why Yoongi went radio silent on you for weeks?
It seems like he doesn’t even wanna talk about her. So you won’t pry just yet, as much as you wanna know every single thing she’s done wrong so you can hound her through every timeline in existence.
Instead, you talk about a much better subject,
“We should feed my cat now.”
And you quickly laugh at the saucy glint in Yoongi’s eyes.
—
—
Everything is set where it needs to be. Sugar’s food and water fill their respective bowls, your shoulder leans into Yoongi’s good side, and his arm rests around your back as he’s propped up by his banged up doorway.
You remember the first time you saw him lean against the wood like this. Only that time, you were a shell of a girl, waiting with shaky breaths and shaken confidence to hear his response to your inappropriate request.
Who would’ve thought that you’d be on the same side as him all these months later? In his arms, resting a head on his warm chest?
When you let out a short chuckle, Yoongi turns to your smile. “Hmm?”
“Nothing,” you wisp out. “Just thinking about us.”
His fingers press into your side a fraction more, and you can feel him lift his head again. “Me, too.”
Umm.
You can say things like that. He isn’t allowed!
You’re about to set some one-sided rules before your gift pops out of the bushes a few feet away.
“My baby!” you quietly call, leaving Yoongi’s side to crouch down. “Come here, love. You hungry?”
She cautiously makes her way over, sniffing your hand when you leave it outstretched. After careful consideration, the little one nudges your palm, letting you glide fingers down her back as she approaches her bowls.
“You’re so tiny,” you observe with slight pity. “We’ll get you well fed in no time—”
“Hey, Sugar! Oh, is this her? She’s gorgeous, no wonder!”
Huh? Sugar?
Who else knows the cat’s name already?
Your neck almost strains when you look up to see who’s talking. When you notice an older lady donning a really comfy, fluffy robe, you feel like it looks super familiar before you stand.
“Hi,” you greet before introducing yourself, extending your hand and shaking the woman’s soft, delicate fingers. “Sorry if we were too loud.”
“Call me Miss Dion. And you weren’t too loud this time, sweetie,” she says with a wink, glancing down at the kitty eating what you laid out. “Was just comin’ out to water my plants so it’s good to see you’re here, too. Looks like he finally got some sense back in that head of his.”
“I’m standing right here, you know.”
“Oh, I know!”
Back? How long has she known about you? Do her and Yoongi actually converse regularly? Their banter is… Really adorable.
It’s making you fall even more in love with the man biting his cheek in amusement.
Wait.
Is Yoongi Sugar?
That is so fucking cute you could cry.
“I’m back to take care of this guy,” you explain with a head tilt. “And the little one, of course.”
It’s when you say this that Miss Dion notices the bandages on Yoongi’s face, concern pushing down her brows. “What happened to you, young man?”
“Nothing to worry about.”
“You sure? I got some ointment in my kitchen somewhere—”
“It’s all good—”
“We’ll take it,” you cut him off, not looking but feeling his stare on your face. “How much do we owe you?”
“Oh, don’t you worry about that.” With a snuff at Yoongi and a smile your way, Miss Dion heads inside to fetch a bottle.
In the meantime, you give your lover a quiet stare before bending down to run your hands over soft fur.
“Papa Sugar is gonna need that so he can’t argue,” you coo to your cat, cheekily ignoring Yoongi’s sputtering puff of air above your head.
“Papa Sugar? Really?”
You glance up to his smile with a mischievous one of your own. “What, you wanna be Sugar Daddy instead?”
The swirl in your belly is instant. Because Yoongi can only look out into the distance, biting his lip and failing to hide his grin.
Sigh. If only he didn’t have those injuries across his face. You’d push him back into the door and slam it shut if it was any other day.
Patience, patience, patience.
Those hits aren’t gonna heal with just one round of gauze.
When you have to replace the cotton patches, at least you’ll have something to help.
—
—
It’s not until you’re about to tuck in for the night that Yoongi approaches your side of the bed. Judging by the headphones slung around his neck, he’s about to work, so you assume he’s just coming to give you a kiss goodnight.
But after he does exactly that, he asks you a question that warms your chest,
“Where’s your keys.”
“In there,” you motion to the nearest wall, bag propped right under his windowsill. “Inside pocket, I think.”
Yoongi bends with a prolonged grunt, slowly rummaging until he finds your jangling keyring with its charms. When he grabs it, he silently sits on the edge up against your stomach, body heat permeating your tee while he fiddles with the clasps.
God, you’re so in trouble. You know exactly what he’s doing.
Unlike the last time he offered you complete access to his place, this time he didn’t even hesitate. And the way he secures a key amongst the loop, it’s his silent way of cementing permanence.
That’s not another key for you to borrow.
Because that key is yours.
—
—
continued in angel, pt. 2
pitstop inbox before pt2!! | join the server!
a/n: holy crap we're doing it we are actually back in the main storyline?! how do we feel right now because i am over the damn moon diving into this story again. here's a slight pitstop before you make your way over to part two (THE CONTINUATION IS IN A REBLOG!) so take a breather before heading into the resttttttt
++ feedback box:
⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like!
⇥ here!
++ more links:
⇥ masterlist
⇥ three tangerines masterlist
a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it yet, so we'll keep it goin!
note goal: since we're back in main storyline, upping the goal! 1,000 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tan14 will be dropped as soon as it's done! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
every. fucking. one. of those warnings made me gasp louder than the one previous to the point i choked on air at the end LMFAO😭😭
i am NOT READY ARE YOU KIDDING???!!!/!:!:!:😮💨
you are the queen and downright NEEEEAAASSSTYYYYY when it comes to the smut so you bet your ass i’m excited as hell to read it🫡 THOSE. FUCKING. WARNINGS. 😫😫
and just in general too, i’ve missed them so much and i can’t wait to see how they progress in this update!!! i will come back once i’ve read it but i’m gonna do a lil refresher of my brain first 🫶
OMG ALSO, i didn’t even realize it’s been 2 whole YEARS since the main storyline was updated??? holy shit??? it’s crazy how fast time flies but it doesn’t even feel like it… i’m just so happy to know 3tan’s still just as important to me and i’m just as excited for it now as i was way back when i found it! love this story forever 🫂
ABBY LMFAO oh my god i’m so excited for you! Yeah the spice is quite surprising but in the best way😂 like umm excuse me yoongi you gotta move over now reader is OURS
go for the refresher and dive in when you get the chance and time! thank you for letting me know🥹 I’m just hype for you to get to read more of our babies.. and there’s a lot of them in here hahaha
UMM STOP you’re gonna make me cry😭😭 i’m just as excited about it too which is crazy?? like how has it really been two years and yet it feels like not much time has passed at all and i’m still so in love with this series.. my heart is incredibly full. thank you for still being here and loving it just like the very first day you found it🫂🍊
title: angel (m)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)
series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2 | fugue pt. 3 | fugue pt. 4
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: right before he leaves, your brother’s conversation makes your heart stop. and it forces you to make a decision that you need to stick to, no matter what the future holds.
note: it’s been.. two years since the last main storyline update. many things have happened since then, i’ve learned more about myself, and touched more grass than ever. but we’re finally back to our scheduled tangerine programming, and it feels so surreal. incredibly grateful to everyone that has stayed, and welcome to all of you that are new to the 3tan universe!
note 2: also, happy birthday to @somebodydoesluv, @al3ejandra, and anyone else who is celebrating around this time! may you all celebrate a prosperous and healthy year around the sun.
warnings: how it starts LOL, language, explicit scenes, angst, tension, overthinkers overthinking, sibling fights, abandonment mentions, yoongi in those gd glasses again, jimin…?, obligatory kissing warning, everyone being a ride or die i’m weeping, we give the yoongi the business oops, ermm did i say angst, crying, hand holding since it’s a warning now, weapon mentions, wound mentions, yoongi on the phone :), blanket kicks incoming, feelings at an all time peak, fluff??, bro best bro, yoongi in tanks….., vmin best vmin, reader is so strong, but both siblings just need hugs man😩, studio………. time……?, things get so nasty i was blushing y’all ngl
explicit warnings: under the cut and dear god help me lmao
mood: off my face - justin bieber ; ojitos lindos - bad bunny
drop date: july 14th, 2026, 7:17pm est
word count: 25.5k…….. :’)))
explicit warnings: cursing, thigh riding, cowgirl, oral (m rec), naughty studio time(??), couch sex, rough sex, giving yoongi the business, bold as fuck reader, choking, spanking, penetrative sex, kissing deserves to be here too lol, alexa play no hands by waka flocka, deep throating, hair/head tugging, nipple play, yoongi in that gd tank, yoongi in those gd glasses, teasing, titty fucking hello!!!!, stripping while he watches…. yeah, missionary, sub!3tanyoongi?????, scratching, multiple orgasms, protected sex, emotional sex, good god they’re so hot i’m blushing
—
—
It’s morning when Jimin gets a call.
Shifting in sheets that aren’t his, he sleepily blinks once before eyeing the blue light with a squint, wondering who dares wake him up before his natural rise. What time even is it anyway? It’s gotta be an ungodly hour if his circadian rhythm is disturbed.
Still, he grabs his cell from the nightstand, flinching at the movement behind him and inwardly slinging out curses.
Because waking him up is one thing.
But if anyone disturbs Taehyung he’s gonna give them hell—
Min Yoongi: Incoming Call
Shit.
Jimin yanks the covers off, rushing out of bed and snapping Tae awake anyway. For what? Don’t fucking know, but they’re ready. Wherever. Whatever. They already stayed up clutching their phones until they physically couldn’t keep their eyes open.
Because as much as Yoongi assured him nothing would happen, Jimin still couldn’t let go of his car keys.
Answering slow, he feels his chest winding and winding, eyes locked with Taehyung while they both wait on edge, “…Yoongi?”
“Yeah.”
Thank the fucking stars.
Yoongi’s okay. He’s on the line. He made it to morning or whatever fucking time it is, and he’s doing exactly what he said he would.
And it’s enough, enough, enough.
Burns zing up the corners of Jimin’s eyes, and he swipes hard as Taehyung moves, likely to hear what’s happening and even more likely to just be by his side.
Jimin is grateful for either one. But he tries to keep composure as he croaks, “You better have woken me up for a reason.”
The slight hum on the line induces a wobbly smile. “You slept?”
“Fuck you,” Jimin shakily laughs, wiping liquid relief from an eye before Taehyung’s thumb brushes tenderly over the other. His gaze is thankful while continuing, “We did but not much.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Sniffling, Jimin walks to Tae’s door, letting him into the hallway first and finally drinking in the sight of his ass in those sweats. Because he can finally function like a normal, smitten loser again. “We’ll come over so we can—”
“No need.”
“What?” Nope. Back to panic mode. And judging from his boyfriend’s posture, Taehyung has backpedaled into that, too. “What do you mean no need?”
There’s a slight pause on the line, and small noises make their way through the speaker. It sounds like bedsheets, but it also sounds like…
“She’s still sleeping.”
Oh.
Oh, shit.
A tidal wave of relief crashes into Jimin’s ducts as he hangs his head, palming his face caught in a heavy tide of emotion. When he turns, Taehyung fairs no better, his eyes red and fingers wiping at a perfect, perfect cheek. One of them sniffles, but Jimin can’t tell if it’s him or not, because his vision is blurry and his heart is beating, beating, beating again.
Whether you know it or not, whatever you did last night may have just changed Yoongi’s entire life.
Because Jimin knows this man through and through. Years of picking up his habits and tells didn’t amount to nothing. It’s how he was able to sense exactly when to intervene, and how he knew exactly what that hauntingly hollow tone in Yoongi’s voice meant when he busted in that day.
The tone he hears now? The man that just spoke on the line?
That is a Min Yoongi so in love he can’t even hide it over the phone.
Fuck.
Gathering himself, Jimin squeaks out, “I… I’m glad you…” What the fuck does he say? Every thought jams in his throat so hard he has to hand the phone off.
Thankfully, Taehyung perfectly continues his thoughts, voice scratching rocks under a waking river, “We’re glad you’re both safe.”
“Mm.”
“So when’s the wedding?”
Jimin huffs through a fresh batch of tears, clearing his face before grinning at Tae very seriously awaiting an answer. Honestly, at this point? It’s not far-fetched. Jimin’s seeing your future clearer than his present, and maybe he will be a fun uncle sooner than he thinks.
If only Yoongi would just get the fucking talk with your brother over with.
But Jimin understands the hesitation. If he were in that same position, there’s no telling when he would be courageous enough to stand up to the guy. There’s a reason he’s quick to command a room, and his lifelong mission to protect his younger sister made him grow up a lot faster than everyone else.
Still… Yoongi just deserves to be happy. And you’re the very obvious answer to helping with that.
As much as he may have wanted some chances of his own, Jimin is grateful you found your way into his best friend’s heart. Not just anyone is invited inside, and even less people can truly be allowed to stay.
And you’re probably the only one that has permanent residence.
“You guys should get some sleep.”
Taehyung pouts right on cue, and Jimin can’t fight those sleepy, droopy eyes. “You didn’t answer me.”
Cute as fuck! He must be stopped. Taking the phone, Jimin speaks into the line fully recovered, shooting his cheeky partner a teasing glare, “We will if you get some, too.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Got some things to do at the studio—”
“No!” They reject together, both equally as appalled because what the fuck kinda answer is that?
“After what happened last night? Are you crazy?”
“What happened to spending time with her? Men!”
“He’s going on a business trip, I can’t lose to him.”
“So what?” Tae asks before they both share an even further confused look. Yoongi may be a lovesick fool but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be a dumbass! “You’re just gonna leave her alone?”
There’s a sigh on the line before Jimin plants a hand on his hip. “Not just that. You gotta rest, too, bro. If she doesn’t tell you to take it easy or at least get checked—which she will—we’re going over there to annoy you.”
“You serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious.” Jimin cocks his head and leans closer to the phone. “At least rest easy for the next couple days. Especially if you have all this time to see each other.”
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. Your brother is leaving for his trip and Yoongi caught some unfortunate hits to his ribs. The dude basically has a free pass to spend the whole week with you, and he’s not even taking full advantage of it? Oh, the things Jimin has to say about the thin line of work ethic and relationship effort.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about it for a long time,” Taehyung cuts in before Jimin can pop off, walking away into the living room.
It’s fine. Let him figure out that you aren’t a woman he can just leave. Frankly? That would tickle Jimin to no end to see Yoongi folding his plans so fast just to be with you.
But he spares him the tirade only because you’re fast asleep right next to him. “Thank you for calling, man.”
“Said I would.”
“I know.”
Because above all else, Jimin is happy to hear that voice. Even if it’s obvious he’s a little banged up from last night, it’s still Yoongi. In one piece. That’s all Jimin wanted, and he can’t thank you enough,
“Don’t overwork yourself, and stay with her as long as you can.”
There’s a small laugh on the other end. “I plan on it, Chim.”
And Jimin catches on to why. “I’m holding you to that then.”
—
—
Dawn breaks through open blinds, stretching its orange tint across a clean, spotless table.
You don’t know what got you up so early. But when you peer into the kitchen, you tell yourself you woke up right on time.
Because seeing Yoongi when you’re wide awake is better than any dream you’ll ever have.
Not because of his appearance, even though the sight of him sends a pang through your chest. No. It’s the way he’s quietly prepping a morning meal, using the arm on his better side that’s not sporting a nasty hit to the ribs, without you even asking.
Bits of sunlight dance right out of your eyes.
The effort. The consideration. This man shouldn’t be lifting a finger, yet here he is cooking before you even left his bed. Isn’t this the same man that got caught up in a fight hours ago? Isn’t this the same man you almost walked out on with a frozen heart?
Yes. But he’s also the same man that loves you. And you still can’t grasp that concept in any of the fingers playing with his tee you borrowed.
“Hi,” you whisper, telling him a thousand things.
To which he regards before smiling soft, voice travelling over linoleum and circling around your heart, “Morning, doll.”
Damn. You hear it. Yoongi’s sore as hell.
But instead of getting into that right away, you silently take residence by his side. Because this moment feels too delicate, and you admire his willingness to take care of you unprompted. You didn’t even know you’d eat before going back home.
With a hand warming his back, you wait until Yoongi’s done tossing food on the stove to peck his morning-chilled cheek. “Thank you for cooking,” you murmur, admiring those beautiful brown eyes. “Sleep okay?”
“Cus of you,” your lover softly responds, eyeing your lips before gliding back up to your gaze. “You?”
Ugh. He’s gotta know those glasses are so unfair. They’ve gotten you repeatedly before, and they’re certainly getting you now.
But you can’t help but deflate at the cuts behind those rims, while knowing there are even more bruises hiding underneath his oversized tee. How is Yoongi cooking right now? How is he even awake? “Same.”
“Good.”
These instant, deep shivers at his deeper morning voice will never, ever go away. But anything you wanna do about them isn’t important right now. Right now, you need to make sure Yoongi is either okay, or finds a way to get better.
Sliding your hands down the slopes of his chest, you delicately rest one on his ribs. “Does it still hurt?”
Yikes. That wince is enough. But Yoongi doesn’t shy away from your touch, and you appreciate the way he stays honest. “It’s sore. But I should be good.”
“You gonna get it checked?”
There’s a slight upward tilt of his lips. “Not right now.” At least the honesty persists, as much as you don’t want him following the typical manly response to hospital visits. “But I will if you want me to.”
“Please go,” you gently urge, lest you disturb the soft morning dew before it melts with the sunrise. “For me?”
Only sizzles from the stove fill the space until Yoongi nods, and his voice is just as low and tender, “I’ll go after work.”
Oh. “You’re working today?”
Just like breakfast, you didn’t expect this, either. Frankly, you figured neither of you were gonna even think about work, much less go. Sure, he’s due a hospital visit and you owe some friends immediate explanations for your absence. But other than that, shouldn’t Yoongi be resting?
Does his craft truly mean that much?
Well, shit. You gotta respect his work ethic, that’s for damn sure. Because you would sequester yourself to your bedroom and have endless dates with your television if you were sporting a good jab or two. This music thing must mean more to Yoongi than you previously thought. And who are you to step on that dream?
Suddenly, all thoughts and concerns flee from the kiss on your cheek.
“I’ll stay if you stay,” he says, turning to move the pan and scrunching his face with a grunt. Fuck.
“I…” Shit, you were gonna go back to the house anyway. And from Yoongi’s smartass smirk, you can tell he already knew that. “Just need to check on him, too. And he doesn’t have a car right now, so. I should at least give him a ride.”
“Figured.” In a move so domestic your head spins, Yoongi turns your body and gently pats your butt. “Now go sit. Let’s eat and figure this out.”
—
—
As you devour a flawless meal and clean your dishes, you plan out the day. You’ll head home and check on your brother while Yoongi heads to the studio, and then you’ll rendezvous with your friends to hang out until he’s done with work. They’re already lighting up your phone like no one’s business—especially Yuri.
Yoongi flicks the sink off before you both head to his bedroom, and you melt at the way he slowly wraps his arms around your front halfway there, all four of your legs slowing to close the rest of the distance.
What’s he doing? This is joyfully new, but you have a pretty tight deadline. Warming his forearm and your own cheeks, you chuckle out, “We have to hustle, old man.”
“You hustle me all the time,” he accuses into your shoulder blade, kissing its ridge and making you reconsider walking out the door entirely. “Lemme have this.”
Your second laugh is more subdued, and you’re right between his bed and desk when you lift both hands to hold him close. “You have everything I got,” you wisp into his skin, planting your lips once, twice before you feel his arms press further in. “So this is nothing.”
Seconds and silence slide by, the delicate veil of early morning still hovering around the room. When Yoongi doesn’t say anything, you make to turn and face him.
But you’re stopped before your heart skips.
“I could stay like this all day,” he admits, voice so low it rumbles through your bones. “And it’d be perfect.”
“What, you don’t wanna see my face?” You joke with a giggle. “Rude, but that’s fine.”
Yoongi only buries his nose further, his glasses sliding against your skin peeking from his shirt. “I’m much braver right here, doll.”
Oh.
The leap your heart does is more of a dive, plummeting into the seafoam swirling around your feet. All the words you want to respond with jump off right after, leaving you with nothing but the clouds in your eyes.
You don’t quite know what he means by that. But it feels like those six words hold the weight of a thousand, so you simply let another kiss on his smooth forearm linger. “Do you want me to go with you?”
A puff of laughter warms you right through and, despite his earlier admission, Yoongi does slowly spin you around.
And when you follow, you realize you’re much braver when you aren’t facing him, too.
“It’s not that, babe,” he says through a dashing curve. “But the offer was cute.”
“I take it back then.”
“Damn!”
Both of your laughs whoosh out and collide, sweeping as Yoongi pinches your side and you flinch towards the bed. “You fucker—!”
Before you know it, your back hits a comforter before a weight presses your stomach, emotions clashing as you’re elated and shy and immediately concerned for your boyfriend’s side. “Baby, be careful—”
Lips capture yours, sucking up your warning before a hand slides under your head. Sighing, you arch into his chest, feeling the weight of his chains slip across your breasts.
Euphoria isn’t an adequate enough word to describe how you feel. Where there used to be flutters in your ribcage now reside strong, powerful wing beats, gusts of want and desire lifting you off the ground and launching you into clear skies. Starlight of every color exists within each kiss you share, and your fingers feebly grab his tee to keep you from falling back down to earth.
“If we don’t go now,” Yoongi rasps before sliding his mouth against yours, “We’re never going anywhere again.”
“I know,” you whisper, willingly letting him kiss you once more, “Is that a promise?”
“Fuck, I wish.”
You do, too. But you know you’re running out of time for what you need to do. And weren’t you just saying you had to respect his aspirations? Shit, you really do need to snap out of it. “Come on,” you order with a pat to his chest. “We have all week to do this. We got time.”
Turns out, you’re still amongst the heavens. The way Yoongi’s looking at you? This is the closest you’ll ever get to being held by an angel.
Did he get more handsome overnight? Or is it the light in his eyes sustained since his confession in the kitchen? You don’t quite know, and you may never pinpoint why, but the tug he has on your heart spans space and time.
And you’ll run through both forever to keep meeting him again and again.
Burns prick your eyes, but he mercifully stands before he can catch any evidence of your yearning.
Just like that, the two of you bounce back to getting ready, with him sliding notebooks and headphones in a backpack while you change into your own clothes. As you sling your bag over a shoulder, he reaches for the closest hoodie, and you wordlessly make your way to the front door.
You really do hope he gets looked at today. But just like the calm after a storm, you want to encourage him gently rather than shove him out. At least he seems receptive to your gentle suggestions.
But after you ask one more time and he simply nods, you lower your eyes to his kicks. “Sorry if I’m nagging. I’d just worry less if you went right away, that’s all.”
“You aren’t nagging, babe.” Your freshly bloomed lover reaches out to hold your wrist, smoothing a rough thumb over your skin. Fucking hell, you can’t help but frown at the gashes and cuts marring his knuckles. “I’ll go as soon as I can.”
Not just his hands, but his face. His ribs. And maybe other places you haven’t even seen yet.
You don’t wanna leave his side.
But you have to head out before your brother leaves. Things need to get patched up before he flies out into more stress, and you owe him an apology for walking out when he was still aching. Based on Yoongi’s physical state? Your brother could be hiding some big wounds and you didn’t even wanna talk to him.
However. Was last night necessary? Absolutely. You cannot entertain the possible outcomes had you not tried hard enough to get through Yoongi’s door. His eyes were so dulled, his hands felt so cold. What would have happened if you didn’t force yourself inside?
Why was that guitar smashed to pieces?
This is also why you refuse to leave. So many questions, so many things you still don’t know. Like what all happened when you were separated? And how in the hell is this man in love with you?
“I don’t wanna go,” you confess, instantly encased in his arms and warmth. “I’d much rather keep kissing you.”
“True,” he says with a resigned huff, shifting his glasses with an adorable nose scrunch. If only he didn’t have so many little red lines of conflict on his face. “But we both have stuff to take care of, so let’s get all that done first.”
“Ugh, fine.” Your groan is more teasing than serious, and Yoongi’s laugh is nothing but understanding.
Damn. You still feel it. You really don’t wanna go. Be it the rawness of last night still on your skin, or the confessions still on your tongues, you just wanna stay by his side. “Sorry,” you breathe out, lacing your fingers to pepper love along his strong, reddened ridges. “I’m serious. I don’t wanna leave you right now.”
Walking out of Yoongi’s door just doesn’t feel right. Even if he’s right there and will be following you out. Is this feeling normal? Are you supposed to feel this tightly woven to someone? Because the stitching between your hearts has only gotten stronger in the tempest of last night, as if you bonded together just to hold on for dear life.
Maybe that’s exactly what happened. And it’s exactly why you can barely take one step out of his place.
“Then don’t.”
Not one second passes before your chin is held, and lips slide so tenderly across yours that they may as well melt into your touch. Your reaction is quickly swooped into his mouth, and everything falls away as you let him seize your every thought. Lightning from last night zips out of your limbs, your toes, your fingers clasping his loose tee.
You might just cry where you stand.
How have his kisses gotten even better? How have you never felt this way even though you’ve done this far more times than you were ever supposed to? It should be impossible, and yet, this man finds even more ways to astound you.
Yoongi slips a hand over your cheek, giving one more beautiful push of his lips as he confesses, “I don’t wanna leave you, either.”
And your breath stutters onto his features. “You, too?”
Slow, he kisses your cheek, the clear rim of his specs skimming your nose. When he draws back, you look right into his eyes, wondering why he’s watching your mouth instead.
“Me, too.” Yoongi kisses your other side with a quiet peck. “Fuck, me, too.”
You fucking hate what you have to do, but you don’t have a choice.
With one last lingering kiss, you both gather enough courage to set out and do what you must.
—
—
Your house is already a flurry of activity as you enter to see your brother in the kitchen, packing his leather duffle that’s a constant companion on his trips.
Of course. The memory of him purchasing the lavish accessory pops into your head every time you watch him scurry around, dimples ever present on his proud cheeks. It’s almost enough to make you smile yet again.
But you can’t when the same face is currently scratched to hell. Just like Yoongi’s, if not worse.
Fuck, is he really gonna travel looking like that?
“Hey,” he rasps out, still fighting off slumber. “You’re back earlier than I thought.”
“Wanted to check on you before we left.” Fuck, your voice sounds like it’s being forced through a clogged pipe. Loosen the hell up! “And dude. Put some bandaids on, yeah?”
“Yeah, just give me a sec. Making sure I have everything before my ride gets here.”
“Huh?” He got a ride? You’re here now so you can take him to the airport. “You sure you don’t need me to drive you?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. I didn’t know you were coming back.”
Shit. His body seems just as angular as it did last night. Which, quite frankly, could still be from what went down in the lot.
Because even though you see both men banged up, you suddenly realize you don’t actually know what all transpired.
After all, there wasn’t much talk of it after you walked into the tempest of Yoongi’s living room.
Of course, you aren’t gonna bring it up just this second. There are other things to ask about and make sure of first. “Wallet? Phone? Passport?”
“Yup, yup, uhh.. Yup.”
Zippers sling in the quiet morning air as you continue, “And you’re coming back on Friday, right?”
“Oh.. Nah.” When you start crossing the kitchen, your brother hauls his leather bag over his better shoulder. Honestly, no one would be able to tell the other one’s bruised with his suit on. That thing damn well covers everything except the cuts on his face and hands. “Saturday.”
You pause in your journey to the medicine cabinet. “Wait.. Saturday? The release party’s on Friday.”
“Yeah.. I know.”
What the fuck? That’s bullshit they’re keeping him longer than they have to. Struggling to understand how corporate can keep your brother on a leash and get away with it, you urge, “Tell them to at least let you go home a day early. Don’t you wanna support your friends?”
“You mean Yoongi?”
A zing of terror zips through your eyes, freezing every vein in an instant.
The fuck was that question? Never mind. Stay calm stay calm stay fucking calm. “Uhh, yeah, he’s one of them? But the other guys, too, right? I know you care about them and this is huge.”
Mercifully, your sibling just shakes his head and waves you off. “Don’t you think I already tried? I don’t wanna miss it but I don’t have a choice. Conference schedule is pretty tight and I’m heading the panel on Friday.”
“Is it in the morning? You can fly out after—”
“Why are you fighting so hard?”
“Why aren’t you fighting harder!”
Okay, what in the hell is happening right now? Screw optics and how this must look for you, your brother needs to be there. Him and Yoongi are the tightest of friends, the most ride or die duo you’ve ever seen. You can’t picture a timeline where he misses this monumental moment, and it’s starting to really upset you that he’s barely trying.
“You think I’m not fighting for it?”
“I certainly don’t think you’re trying enough—”
“Alright, you know what?” Hard steps surge forward as you stand rigid, a duffle hastily dumped onto tile. “You don’t know what I’ve tried. You don’t even know if I even told him yet.”
Fucking shit. You hold his stare before turning away, tossing out the idea of bandages entirely and searing footsteps into the hallway—
“Or do you.”
Before icing over with the unforgiving frost of zero gravity space.
Slow, you turn, not quite facing him but not backing down, either. “…Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You talkin’? What else has he been doing to you?”
Oh. Fuck that.
Doing to you?
Fuck all of this. This is too much to handle right now and you know you’re gonna snap if he keeps pushing because you are not having this conversation right before he leaves. You’ve already thought about this before, right? You cannot fuck with his head right before business trips because he needs to be on and locked in.
But now he’s fucking with your temper and those are some choice fucking words pulled out of his ass.
You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately threatened this man to his face and meant it before, and it tears a sharp corner of your heart, “You better be very careful. With whatever you wanna say next.”
The air proves too thick to slice. While your body stands aflame, your brother is iced over, brimming with an energy that damn near takes physical form. “All I’m saying is? I find out some fucking bullshit is going on—”
No no no, not now.
Reacting fast is your only instinct, brain haywire and fizzling fizzling boiling. Harsh, you spin on your heel and shout the first thing you can think of, “Oh, come on—”
“You better hope to god you’re ready for what’s coming—”
“Stop!” Fuck fuck fuck, this is so frustrating because your head is exploding and your body is screaming to just tell him already. Fuck the consequences at this point this is ludicrous.
Doing to you? Yoongi? How dare he speak about his best friend like that how dare he accuse him without outright saying the words all you have to do is tell your brother how wrong he’s got it.
But you can’t be the one. Yoongi said he would, and he probably took months to get to that point of strength—and healing, from what you can tell.
This is between them. Them. You have to honor that, as much as you wanna just confess everything now and deal with it yourself.
But goddamn your brother is pulsing with anger and it’s leaking into your own charged air.
What does he think is happening? Does he think Yoongi’s just, what, playing you? He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. Yoongi’s been nothing but the best thing that’s ever happened to you and shit your heart hurts because…
Your brother is valid in thinking that.
How foolish. Didn’t you guard your heart from Yoongi for the longest? Didn’t everything start because you figured you knew who he was because of his reputation? You got him all wrong, too. So how can you be mad at your brother for doing the same?
Fuck, think. Just think before someone gets hurt.
Because if you aren’t careful, someone—or multiple someones—will get hurt in seconds. You have to bear the pain alone right now. To protect them both, you have to keep your trembling mouth shut.
And? You have to admit that something isn’t fair here. Not to you, not to Yoongi, but to him. Last night was rough as fuck but, while you both got to have raw, beautiful closure, the one standing in front of you had to go to sleep in an empty house.
So chill the fuck out.
Breathing to cool down, you tense and loosen, tense and loosen. “I get it. You’re angry, and you have a lot going on. But,” you bite down on your lip to keep going. “We’re talking about something else. We’re talking about you, and I’m still pissed you even let those guys goad you into a fight. What are we, twelve?”
Seething, your sibling takes the switch of pace. But it is not what you want to hear. “Are you seri—? What the hell was I supposed to do? That son of a bitch grabbed you—”
“I know,” you recoil. “Don’t tell me like you were there, because you weren’t.”
Finally—finally—those angry lines in his face vanish.
But they make way for something much worse than anger. Because your older brother, someone that’s been there for you your whole life..
Looks absolutely stricken over the one time he wasn’t.
Damn it.
Regretful, you drop your shoulders in exhaustion and quiet compromise. When you continue, your voice is much softer, “But I told you: they were. Your friends, they were there because they knew you wanted that. Jimin got me away, Yoongi took me home and stayed.”
You really have got to stop saying his name like you love him. It could start becoming too obvious.
Shuddering, you shift your weight, folding your arms and shrinking into yourself.
That night, despite Yoongi’s best and most gentle efforts, still clings to where that loser touched you at Dalo. You hate that you haven’t gotten over it, and you loathe the way you still rub over the same spot. Over, and over. “What did you want him to do? Leave me here?”
“No.”
“Exactly. And he didn’t.” You adjust your stance again, making an impromptu gamble as you decide to let some truth leak out. Because your brother is owed at least this much. “And fine, you wanna know something? We do talk more because of it.”
Your brother’s head snaps up, and you brace. Because if you show any shred of weakness or hesitation, he’ll see right through your weak attempt to hide most of the truth,
“But don’t ever accuse him of doing anything to me. That was fucked up to say and you know it.”
“Fuck.” In agreement, he rubs his hair back. “It was. I’m sorry.”
“Trust me,” you swallow, hating that this is how things have to be for now. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s never.. Never done anything to me, anyway.”
It’s not a lie. Everything he’s done has been with you. For you. Because of you.
But your heart’s in anguish as it sinks. Because that expression on your older sibling’s face can only be one thing.
Pure. Utter. Relief.
Fire singes your eyes before you can quell the flame. It’s the hardest technical truth to swallow.
Sure, he doesn’t have anything to worry about as far as you being safe. And on top of that, he doesn’t have to worry about any fake shit because Yoongi confessed to you last night.
But as far as his best friend sleeping with and now dating his sister behind his back? That is still very much sitting right in the center of the table.
And now you’re starting to see just how fucked all three of you are as soon as you sit down to eat the truth.
But Yoongi said he’d be the one to tell, so he will.
This feeling is so fucking miserable, though.
In the end, your brother is effectively convinced, raking a hand across his head and sighing. “Jimin told me what all went down at Dalo, I just… Last night was… Fucked up.”
“Well, yeah.”
“No. See, this is just like what you said to me. You can’t say it like you were there.”
It’s your stomach’s turn to twist. “So? You were scratched and bruised to hell, and Y…” Shut up, shut up. You’re not supposed to know about the state of anyone else. “And you were… quieter.”
“Because of what happened, dude.”
You blink. “What… What happened?”
Your brother looks at you—really looks at you.
And suddenly, your gut flares in terror, storming in an instant across your abdomen.
“That bitch pulled something on us.”
Your heart.
It’s in freefall.
“Wait… What?” You can’t even form more than one syllable at a time, your legs turning gelatinous and knees starting to give out. “No… What are you…?”
What the fuck did he just say? That bitch pulled a what?
Your sibling slowly walks toward you once again, watching like he’s just waiting for you to say anything. Do anything.
But you’re a complete statue because all you can think about is the horror of something happening and the relief that nothing happened all at once.
Was Yoongi too scared to mention that part? Is this why he was holding back and shaking every time he reached out to touch you? Even this morning, he was so…
You’ve never seen him like that. Is this why?
Your mind is swirling and crashing, overlapping each passing thought and scream running through your head. “I’m so sorry,” you hitch out, “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Didn’t wanna scare you,” he sighs out. Putting both hands on his hips, your brother stops feet away, visibly still shook as he pierces wooden planks with his stare. “But he pulled it right before Yoongi… and if it weren’t…Fuck.”
Burns flare and slice through your eyes when he has to pause. What is he trying to say? Pulled what?
Before Yoongi what?
Your brother continues, and your throat tightens. “If it weren’t for some random ass sirens, I… Things could’ve been so different.”
What the fuck is happening. What the hell are you hearing?
“It was probably dumb as fuck. But I was so fucking angry,” he grits out, watery eyes crushed looking your way. “So fucking mad at how he was talking about you, I.. Walked right up to him and told him to fuck off.”
You can’t even breathe.
“I still feel it,” he quietly adds, fingers pressed against his side. “Right here.”
“Fuck,” you finally choke out, eyes on fucking fire.
“But all I knew was to keep you all safe,” he says, with hardened resolve and a wobbly chin. “And that’s exactly what I did. I did that shit, even if that meant—”
Tears fling out of your eyes, flowing hot down your cheeks because you wouldn’t want any of them to go out that way. Nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened and yet your body is acting as if something did and it hurts.
Your brother is there as soon as you crumple forward, letting you bury your head in his chest and sob your heart out. For him, for his friends, and for all the time you had with the man you love so, so dearly.
If anything happened to your brother before you came clean… If anything happened before you and Yoongi could even…
Suddenly, you feel equal weights of guilt. For running out on your brother. And for almost walking out on Yoongi.
You decide an apology is in order for both of them, and all the understanding in the world for Yoongi’s frosted demeanor as soon as you get him alone again.
And you are one hundred percent going to tell your brother everything once he’s back.
The tears cannot stop, and you’re sure you are crying unimpeded in a pressed and primmed suit. “I’m so sorry,” you keep repenting like a prayer. “This is all my fault.”
“No—”
“You almost—”
“Hey, stop.” He yanks you back, both of your faces soaked with saltwater. “What did I say before? I threw the first swing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But it led to all this, I just.. I just feel so fucking stupid.”
“Don’t. Hey, look at me.” Firm but gentle, he holds you at arm’s length, forcing you to face him. “Maybe we’re both stupid, but you weren’t the idiot. I was.”
You feel so many conflicting things in your soul.
What would you have done if Yoongi was in critical condition? What would you have done differently if your brother was instead? Are they the same? Are the two situations really so different anymore?
No they aren’t they aren’t they aren’t.
“Please don’t do that again,” you shake out. “Even if it was for me, if I ever lost you, I...”
“You know I can’t promise anything.” He furrows his brows when you eye him with anger and sadness. “But nothing like that is happening again. Especially with the same dudes.”
“Okay.”
A vicious tornado of emotions sends your whole body into agonizing pain. This isn’t what you expected at all, and it’s causing your limbs to lock at the bends. Too many scenarios are jangling about yet you can’t ask for specifics because that will just make it even more real.
A nightmare is somehow better once you know it ends with you waking up. “I’m… gonna need some time to process everything.”
“I know. And I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but… You deserve to know the things I get into.”
Ah.
The irony is not lost on you.
“At least, if they involve you. We learned our lesson. You were right to tell us off.”
God. You feel numb.
“Thanks,” you murmur, suddenly immensely tired. “I think I need more sleep.”
A blaring honk sounds outside the house, and you both flinch at the noise.
And your throat burns at the way your brother instinctively swept you behind his back.
When you realize what it is, you know what has to come next.
And he’s the first to react as he turns to face you again, “Alright. I’m heading out, just remember to go get my baby when she’s fixed, yeah?”
“Do you have to go?”
Wait.
The question seems to startle him as much as it does you.
How did you blurt it right out before even registering the words? Why does your heart clench at the sight of those eyes looking so pained?
Why does everything feel so shaky within these walls that were always your home?
“I do,” he says, voice tight. “I’m sorry.”
And why the fuck do you feel sad he’s leaving?
“No, no, it’s.. Of course you have to.” You can’t help the lump in your throat from bobbing, the regret in your limbs as they barely move at your side. “I dunno why I asked, I guess I just..”
There’s no response to your sniffle.
“Sorry for yelling,” you squeak out. “I just feel really queasy.”
For a lot more reasons than one.
“We all made it out,” your brother whispers. “That’s what matters.”
“Will you… Will you at least try to be back for the party?”
The man swallows with his brows knit tight, then attempts to crack the tiniest smile. “You know I will. That’s my guy.”
“Okay.” You nod, sniffling again. After what he just told you? You know he’ll do anything for the ones he loves. “See you there.”
Your brother rubs a comforting palm over your head before turning, heading for the door and grabbing his leather duffle.
When he stops to glance at you one more time, you give a little wave of your hand before watching the door click shut.
Chest caving as you collapse to the ground in tears.
—
—
The need to call Yoongi burns so harshly your fingers damn near set your top aflame.
But he’s at work, and you can’t fuck things up right when you’re approaching the finish line. You almost did with your brother, and that gave you twelve heart attacks in the span of minutes.
Still. Your chest aches so much that a thirteenth could very well be approaching. You don’t even realize you’re bracing the hallway wall for support until you try to stand, back sore and aching from bending so far for so long.
What did your brother mean to say about Yoongi? What did that coward pull on them? Do you even want to know what happened?
Fighting back tears, you reach down for your phone, shakily typing out a message only to erase it. Then again. And again.
And again.
Giving up, you forcefully swallow all your worries, cringing at the bitterness of the unknown and the burnt molasses of hidden truths.
It’s going to be okay. No matter what you think or imagine in your head, they made it out, they made it out, they are all alive.
That’s the only reason you can move forward, each step getting you from your room. To your bathroom.
And back again.
—
—
After showering, you feel lighter and refreshed, though the soreness between your legs has yet to leave.
But you wouldn’t want it any other way, as it’s another reminder of Yoongi’s apparent brush with survival. His broken living room spurned the creation of your bond, your devotion to him as he confessed before you gave him your utmost trust in his sheets.
The end is so close. As soon as this week is over, you’ll rip the last bit of peel from your pair of tangerines, baring all truths to your brother and facing the consequences.
Finally ready, you head to your car, opening your text threads with a plan: start slow.
Start with something that can be interpreted neutrally if anyone saw it on his phone screen, especially if your headstrong ex is in the room.
You [12:31pm]: how are you feeling?
Yoongi [12:34pm]: 1 Attachment
You close your door with brows furrowed.
Yoongi’s at the hospital?
That’s not what you expected at all.
Your chest swells with relief knowing he’s there, but you also wanna make sure he’s feeling okay. Especially his mental state after whatever the fuck your brother just dropped on you before leaving.
Goddamn, that’s going to gnaw at your brain until you find the right time and right amount of courage to ask about it. Because it’s very possible Yoongi won’t tell you.
Because it’s probably something he knows you won’t like.
Fuck.
You [12:34pm]: Loved an Attachment
You [12:34pm]: thank you for listening🤍 still sore?
Yoongi [12:35pm]: Yeah, but not bad. Just there.
Wait. He’s not at the studio. That means you can—
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you slowly say as you pull out into the street. “I’m driving now so this is easier.”
“Course. You going to Tae’s?”
“Maybe. I’m going to Yuri’s first.” You swallow, realizing that you didn’t tell him about what you let slip before driving over. “I.. Told her. About you.”
There’s a little bit of silence on the line, just some adjustments and muffled speaker sounds. “Sorry, just writing this down. What’s wrong with that?”
You huff through your nose. Gotta be those patient forms that always take forever to fill out. “Oh. Just more and more people knowing, is all.”
“Everyone’s gonna know eventually.”
You hold back a small smile. Because he’s right. “Yeah. I’m just tired of this feeling.”
“Like you’re hiding something.”
It’s your turn for silence. He doesn’t know how accurately that was played out today. The only answer you can provide is a curt, “Exactly.”
“Same.”
Wings beat around your heart again.
He wants this. Yoongi really, really wants this. And years ago, that outcome wouldn’t have even crossed your mind as an option.
“Thank you for going, baby.”
“The guys made me.”
You hum. “Which ones.”
After a pause, you hear a puff of amusement. “All of them at some point today, actually.”
All of them? Does that include your brother? Did they talk about the trip already?
Your laugh is bittersweet. “Well. Glad to know you can be forced by everyone else except me.”
“Hey, I was already gonna go because of you!” Yoongi quietly retorts, and you giggle at the pout in his words. “Just wanted to get a headstart on work first.”
You were right. He really does wanna go all out for his musical endeavors.
It’s extremely admirable, and wildly attractive, but it does come to a point. “As much as I love your passion, old man, I wanna keep you upright.”
He laughs soft into the line, and you think you can listen to that specific sound on an infinite loop. “That’s fair.”
“How long is it gonna take, you think?”
“Dunno. But I’ll keep myself busy until I’m out.”
Of course he will. You don’t doubt he won’t waste any time. Didn’t he bring journals in his backpack? You wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote ten thousand songs before being called in. “Just call me if you need anything, please?”
“Of course, babe.”
“Thank you,” you say with utmost sincerity. “If only my brother would be less stubborn and get checked, too.”
“He’ll probably do it once he gets there.”
“Did you convince him?”
“Nah. But once he knows I did, he’ll do it.”
“Figures.” You scoff. “Okay, I’m almost there. Let me know how it goes.”
“K. Bye, doll.”
You didn’t ask him what went down. But it’s not the time nor place, and you have plenty of chances this week to figure out when that would be—if at all.
“Talk soon.”
—
—
For a normally bustling household, Yuri’s house is quiet.
So it’s not shocking when you walk into the kitchen and see all your friends glance your way, slowly vacating their chairs with eyes never leaving your face. Even Reia is on high alert.
Did Yuri tell her? Did Yuri tell anyone else?
No. She’s a talker and loves spilling, but she promised. And when she promises something, you know you can trust her to keep it.
It’s what pours emotion in your voice as you meekly greet, “Hey, guys—”
A crushing hug closes your throat. Yuri’s the one that gets to you first, with Reia and Dominique waiting their turns to offer you healing, relieved embraces.
“What happened?”
“Scared us half to death.”
Dom puts you at arm’s length to give a once over, noting your face rubbed raw and eyes still a little bloodshot. Thankfully, her pupils hold more concern than disappointment. “You good?”
Your eyes wobble alongside your smile, and you think it’s enough proof. “More than that,” you still decide to whisper, and your heart beats again at her reaction.
“Thank god. I was ready to kick your ass if you weren’t.”
Heading up to Yuri’s room, you all wait until the door is swung back before mounting her canopy bed, sitting in a tight circle as you divulge everything.
Well. Almost everything.
You tell them that Yoongi is the one you’ve been seeing, how you went to check on him last night in a panic, and the terrifying reason why. When you mention the fight after the basketball game, all three of your friends erupt in questions, and you have to assure them everything turned out okay. Honestly, you also do this to assure yourself, too.
“So… Your brother’s just fine with all of this?” Reia asks, not noticing the tick of Dom’s jaw.
“Well,” you start with a higher pitch, earning a pair of groans. “He doesn’t exactly know yet—”
“Yup. He’s gonna murder him.”
“Yeah, should we say our condolences now or..”
“How long has this been going on?” Reia fires off another question that digs into your chest. “Was he the one you were seeing the whole time?”
“Yes,” you admit with a sigh. “I should’ve told you guys from the beginning, but. The whole thing just felt so delicate. But! We just started making things official recently, so..”
Dom turns your way. “Official how?”
Well. Here goes everything.
With a shaky breath, and lingering feelings from the time it happened, you reveal with watery eyes, “Yoongi… Told me he loves me.”
Both Yuri and Reia react in yelps, Dom’s gaze lowering as the girls reach to grab your hands.
Wait. What’s going on with her? She’s the one that knows the most, she’s the one that covered for you all those months ago. She has to be the one that is the least surprised at all this.
Blinking, you note to confront her about it later. Right now, you’re too focused on trying not to cry as your friends tumble out questions and support,
“He said it? Did you say it first or did he?”
“How did it happen! Oh, I’m so happy for you, babe—”
“Thank—thank you, Yuri,” you squeeze out as she hugs you close. “I couldn’t believe it, but he just.. Said it. We weren’t even doing anything, I was just.. Looking up what injuries he could have..”
And he confessed in the most Yoongi fashion he could have.
Looking back, it shouldn’t shock you at all. He’s always found ways to sweep you off your proverbial feet, so why would a confession plucked from the heavens be any different?
She lets you go before wiping her eyes, Reia and even Dom now sporting watery pupils, too.
“As much as I’m upset at you for not telling us, I’ve never been so happy for you.” When Yuri’s features crease in another sob, you sniffle along with the rest. “It’s been so long since you… And you really.. Fuck.”
You know what she’s trying to say, and the realization has your throat constricting so tight.
It’s been forever since you’ve had something like this, someone like this. When you and Jungkook were together, you told him that you loved him before he broke it off.
Sure, you bought the rings together, but he never uttered those words until years after when it didn’t even matter. And all your relationships after his were complete and utter bullshit, so you don’t think you ever even heard those three words and knew them to be true.
Yoongi was the first to ever say them so sincerely.
And that fact makes your ducts burn and burn.
And when Yuri finally speaks, it breaks the dam holding your real deluge back,
“I can’t think of anyone else that deserves to be loved more than you.”
All at once, everything streams out as you hunch forward. The pain of everything you’ve endured, the hopelessness of knowing you’d most likely end up alone, the excruciating prospect of a future that you never deemed bright, or peaceful, or comforting.
And to think that even this man could’ve been snatched away from you in a snap? Even more tears overlap with the ones you’re shedding, and you can’t even reach out to hug all three beautiful, angelic souls surrounding you with tight arms and sobs because your limbs lock at all bends.
It’s the exact release you need. All your friends supporting you, all the pent up anxiety of last night and today, the truth setting itself free in some capacity—all in the comfort of a plushie-laden bed you only doubted yourself in last time.
Everything’s gonna be alright. It has to be. You’re gonna fight for the ones you love, even if a war between them is inevitable.
It takes a few minutes of heavy silence for you all to separate, swiping and rubbing tears while letting out happy sniffles.
When you thank them for being understanding, they assure you it’s okay. And when you say you’re going to tell your brother soon, a force from the doorway has all of you leaping from lilac sheets,
“Tell him what?”
Jia stands firm with a laundry basket at her hip, and Yuri scoffs at her older sister for barging in. “A knock would’ve been nice!”
Fuck!
You can’t tell Jia of all people. If you spill anything about Yoongi, she’s one hundred percent going to tell your brother. They’re the same age, and run in pretty tight circles, so of course you are not going to risk it.
But you can tell her something else you’re going to tell your older sibling, so you fire out a half-truth,
“Tell him not to pick any other fights that could get him killed.”
Jia’s eyes zoom to your wrecked face, and she drops the laundry with haste before asking, “What happened? When? Tell me now.”
Huh. Maybe your brother has a type, if he’s still into Jia like he said before.
You feel a little spark in your chest as you let her know they all got in a scuffle after the basketball game, and another pang as she immediately abandons the room and clothes with a fierce declaration,
“I’m gonna kill them myself!”
“Don’t worry, I already hounded my brother!” You call out after her, sighing as Yuri shakes her head with a smile. “She gets like that when she’s really worried, huh.”
“Yeah..” Your friend leans to look around you, noticing the basket left alone on the ground. “And if she’s super fired up, she drops everything and doesn’t stop until it’s handled. Clearly.”
Maybe both older siblings really are similar.
The firestorm of an interruption seemed to break the tension in the room, with all of you finally relaxing and catching up. When they ask you questions, you answer what you can.
And when you divulge information that has your ears burning, their squeals and yells give you whole new reasons to live.
—
—
After a very comforting lunch Yuri’s mom cooked, you head to the bathroom when your phone suddenly vibrates through your palm.
Huh? That’s weird. You expect the name on your screen to be Taehyung, not Yoongi.
Not that it’s a bad thing. You’ve been waiting to hear from him, so this is a pleasant surprise.
Closing the door to the guest bathroom, you gaze at the calming sage decor with a smile. “Hi, how did it—”
“You’re coming over later, right?”
Oh, shit. Is he okay?
“Yes, baby,” you respond with a soothing lilt, ears perked and body on high alert.
Does he think you aren’t anymore? You both decided on the plans earlier. Surely he knows you’d never just flake on him. “I’m coming back once you’re done with work, remember?”
There’s an uncomfortable pause on the line, which makes your boyfriend’s next question jab you so far in the lungs you can’t breathe,
“…Can it be now?”
Shit.
Just like Jia earlier, you drop every plan you have to the wayside. You’re sure that Taehyung will understand, and you already got through the biggest conversation you needed to with your friends.
“Of course,” you whoosh out. “Lemme just say bye and I’ll go.”
“Take your time.” A small shuffling interrupts. “It’ll take me a bit to get back.”
“Okay. See you there.”
The strained urgency in his voice makes your hair stand on end, so you vacate the bathroom to inform the girls that you gotta go—but not without a quick head tilt towards Dom, who follows you outside and into the afternoon sun.
—
—
You wait until you’re next to your car on the street, turning with a concerned expression and jittery nerves, “What’s up with you? Did I do something wrong?”
Turns out, you read Dominique correctly. Her jaw locks before loosening, and it reminds you of the time she confronted you about Yoongi before. God, how much has changed since then. That feels like ages and ages ago.
“It’s not about you,” your best friend clears the air and the tightness in your shoulders. “I’m just.. Glad he came around.”
“Yoongi?” When Dom nods, you blink. “Wait, what?”
“At your house that night.. After he left your room, we had—I dunno, a heart-to-heart.” She sighs, flicking braids over her shoulder. You note to compliment the beads she chose this time, because they remind you of summer and simpler times. “I might’ve pressured him a bit, and.. I think he wanted to tell me that he loved you. All the way back then.”
Something in your heart stutters, and you can only repeat your last question, “What?”
“Yeah. Something about needing to do something first,” she continues, holding your gaze with perfect brows furrowed in sunlight. “But I could tell he was damn serious about whatever it was. And if he was willing to do it for you? I let it go.”
Your mind whirls.
Yoongi was already in love with you back then? Is that why he needed to let you go? To deal with whatever he had to do?
One side of you breaks thinking he had to go through all that alone; the other side is screaming at his past self for not even giving you a choice. What did he go through? What did he have to do?
Now you really have to see him. Immediately.
“Thank you, Dom,” you rush out while opening your door. “I’m just happy it’s over.”
“The hell it’s not.” Shooting you a glare that heats the oncoming breeze, she reminds, “It’s not over until your brother knows. And based on everything that’s happened? That conversation is not gonna go over well.”
A dark, simmering boil starts in your stomach, and you’re already feeling queasy again. Tightening your door handle, you gulp hard. “I know.”
“Trust me, I’m happy for you both. I am.” Both hands find her hips as she levels a gaze that you really, really don’t enjoy. “But I’m gonna be honest, I think this is gonna ruin their friendship for good.”
Both of your lungs clamp shut.
“Please don’t say that,” you beg, “I’m gonna fight for all of us. I will.”
“I don’t doubt that, babe. Hey, uh uh, come here.” Reaching out, she gives you a tight hug just when you feel fragile again.
“Listen to me. I don’t doubt that,” she says into your shoulder. “I’m just here to be realistic. Just don’t be shocked if that’s how it goes. We’ll be here for you no matter what, too.”
“Okay,” you say with a scrunched face into her scent. God, she always smells so good, and it’s almost enough to calm you down. Almost almost almost. “Thank you. But I’m not giving up.”
“That’s my girl.” She squeezes you one more time. “I love you.”
With eyes searing over, you choke and grip her tighter. “I love you, too.”
—
—
Yoongi’s door warms your back as you wait for him to show.
But there’s a good chance it can just be your volcanic anxiety.
Ever since your arrival, you’ve paced, you’ve gnawed on your lips, you’ve had to shake the nerves out of your hands.
And over and over, you’ve strained your neck to look for your favorite cat, because you could sincerely use even a glimpse of her right now.
While she doesn’t end up showing, Yoongi rounds the nearest corner minutes after your last desperate scan.
Fuck, he’s so handsome.
Even now, as he simply walks toward you with a backpack slung over his shoulder, you watch with undying yearning to feel those flowing bangs over his forehead. You’d even settle for a single touch of his cheeks, one of them currently sporting a thin bandage.
But the closer Yoongi gets, the quicker your admiration morphs into concern. There’s a deep bend in his brows that you can’t decipher, and his fist is balled pretty tight.
Seriously, what happened? He looks so troubled that you slowly push off the doorway to ask,
“Baby, what’s—”
A bag hits the ground before you’re swooped into a kiss so electric your lips spark.
Him. Him, him, and more him. For the love of everything you don’t understand what’s happening but you kiss Yoongi back with everything you have, arms slinging around his strong shoulders and tugging him closer because he clearly needed this.
And fuck if you didn’t need it just as much. Screw it if anyone sees you. This is all you want and you’ll stay right here until he pulls away.
When he finally does, both of you swallow to catch your breaths, and your soul glimmers when his forehead meets yours.
“Hi, baby,” you whisper to his exhales. “Missed you, too.”
Silent, your lover kisses your forehead before hugging you close, and you’re more sure of your prediction than ever. Something is bothering him.
He doesn’t look worse, at least. But there’s clearly something off and he’s not hiding it. His lack of words is loud enough.
“Let’s go inside,” you quietly suggest. “I would’ve gone in already but I don’t have a key.”
He nods, fishing out his keyring to let you both inside.
When you set your bags down and slip off your shoes, it’s only seconds before you’re softly pulled into a hug again, surprising yet so, so welcoming.
Even only after a few hours, you’ve missed the fuck out of him. Which makes all of this an outright dream.
“Sorry,” Yoongi finally murmurs against your shoulder. “I just…”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” You stroke a hand along his hair, massaging his scalp and loving how soft it feels. The windswept strands fall back into place as you keep running your fingers through. “Did you at least get your appointment?”
“Yeah, I did.” He buries his face further. “Nothing bad. Just can’t lift anything heavy for a couple days.”
“Good. That’s easy to manage,” you whisper back into his tee, feeling the chill of lingering air conditioning and body warmth all at once. “Is something else bothering you?”
“Not exactly.” Whatever that means. “I’ll tell you about it later. Just wanted this, and you.”
Oh. That’s…
“I’m here now, love,” you assure with a melting heart, wondering what happened to cause this behavior.
Is it because of last night? Or something that happened today? You’re anxious all over again, but from the way Yoongi’s acting, your worries are second to his. “Have you eaten yet?”
He shakes his head, only pulling you closer with not a word from his lips.
And from this point on, you make a silent vow to yourself. Whatever Yoongi needs, you’re going to take care of him.
No matter what, these next few days are all about him—a minuscule sacrifice in comparison to everything he’s done for you, whether you knew about it or not.
“I’ll make you something then. Come on.”
When you walk, you slip your hand down his arm to hold his hand, and your lead into his kitchen is short.
“Any requests?” You cheerfully ask as you spare a smile over your shoulder. “We can do… Something light…”
Only to see him staring back with nothing but a lingering sense of longing.
Okay.
You need to get to the bottom of this now.
Stopping right over linoleum, you leave no room for arguments, “Yoongi. Tell me what’s wrong.”
He blinks before his gaze meets the floor. So you’re confused when he simply, quietly..
Laughs?
“It’s not that something’s wrong,” he slowly starts, a shy smile carving his features. “For the first time in my life, nothing’s wrong.”
Your heart beats extra loud.
“But it’s too much to explain right now.” His eyes rise to meet yours. “Just know that I’m so in love with you.”
Oh.
“And I want you to know that every day I live.”
Fuck.
Your body responds before you can say anything, lips connecting to remove any need for speech. The knowledge of them all staring death in the face last night makes this confession sear your insides, and you can’t help but kiss him like you’ll never get to again.
Yanking him back, you spin on your heel until he flings into the kitchen, clutching your wrists before gripping your jaw with both hands.
His mouth heats on yours, his glasses the only barrier between your skin. Everything sizzles from your head to your toes, and you both bang into a countertop before—
“Fuck, ouch.”
“Shit, you okay?”
Yoongi rubs his side with one eye pinched shut, a corner of his teeth present. “Yeah. Worth it, though.”
“Be serious,” you reprimand. Looks like he’s gonna have to take it easy, which means no going at it like animals until he’s on the mend. “No more until you feel better, yeah?”
“Says who?”
“Babe.”
His deadly pout almost breaks your resolve. “Fine.”
But you can wait. You’re sure it won’t take long, and for this man? You’ll wait however long you need to.
Besides, there’s plenty of things you can do in the meantime that don’t require running into hard objects.
“Good. Now let’s…” You turn away to get started before you’re held, and pulled back into yet another embrace.
What the hell is happening today? Your lungs and your melting pile of a brain can only take so much. It’s beautifully overwhelming how Yoongi can’t seem to let you go, because you’re the one that always loses control.
This whole time, it’s been you that can’t hold yourself back.
So now? Being on the other side? You don’t think you ever want him to restrain himself again.
This time, he moves slow. Sensuously slow, and it would occur to you that he’s finding a very cheeky loophole to your plan if you weren’t so hazy-eyed.
Whatever Yoongi’s doing, you won’t stop him.
Your back touches a counter before Yoongi cages you in, and your lips mold together as perfectly as his body does with yours. Your unhurried strokes match his, and your minds communicate without a single word.
There’s yearning still ever present. But there’s comfort in abundance, and a whole new level of need.
After he pulls away, you can visibly see him drink you in from head to toe.
“You know.. I’m good holding off on all the other shit.” Pulling you in, his lips curve as he confidently declares, “But I’m never gonna stop kissing you.”
His hands, his lips, his words. They all have healing powers, you’re so sure of it. If Yoongi hasn’t yet realized his unending pain has blossomed into a safe haven, you need to let him know no matter what,
“Good.”
There’s still a pining in his eyes, but he lets you free, hand skirting your hip before he walks to his room. “Gonna change then I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to, baby,” you say as you struggle to catch your breath. “I got it.”
Three minutes later, he’s chopping an onion anyway.
But you’re loving how serene everything feels with the two of you prepping and dicing, thumps of knives on wood intertwining in sound before you laugh at his crying over the pesky vegetable. Maybe if he wore contacts instead of specs, he’d be better off.
Not that his choice of eyewear is what you’re complaining about. But those glasses paired with the cream tees he’s been wearing? There will be hell to pay as soon as you get a chance at revenge.
Your pot is set to boil for a bit, so you finally rest against the counter and start a timer on his microwave. “Go ahead,” you gesture to your very handsome cooking partner. “You can sit now.”
“Huh? We’re not done yet.”
“Oh.” Blinking, you tilt your head in confusion because you could’ve sworn you heard him yawn a couple times. “You aren’t tired?”
“I am,” he says before squeezing his eyes, rapid blinks to follow. “But I’m fine here.”
You toss and turn the food around, sprinkling a little more seasoning and hearing the bubbles and fizzes. When you stir a little more, a sudden thought occurs, halting your movements and spinning you around,
“Are you staying there to watch my ass.”
Yoongi’s slow smile gives everything away, but he also makes up for the blatant staring.
“Can’t deny that’s one of the things.” Pushing off the sink, he stands right next to you, slotting a hand behind your neck and angling you for a kiss. “But I meant it earlier. I just…”
You’re completely silent as you watch him slide his eyes from your face to the sizzling food. Whatever he’s thinking about, you’re gonna give him all the room to talk.
“Just like being where you are.”
How you went from almost running out of his door to here, you aren’t quite sure. But you’re grateful for that split second of him deciding to fight for the two of you instead of against, because you really were going to leave.
And you may have taken much, much longer to even try going back.
Your voice is barely heard over the aromatic smell and fizzle, “Good thing I like having you around.” When he smiles again, you let out a breath of a giggle, going back to shuffling the pan around and tilting your head to the fridge. “I put some fruit in there if you wanna eat that, too.”
“I’m down.”
“K.”
Your food is ready soon enough, and the two of you eat while talking about easy topics. Like work and your workplace dynamics, what Yoongi’s team has been working on at the studio.
At one point, your curiosity about the album release party grows from something he says. “Speaking of. The party’s on Friday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I thought so,” you deflate, setting your bowl down on the table. “Sorry he can’t go.”
“Huh?”
Your body stills. “Wait. Did he not say anything? About his trip being extended?”
So much for nothing in his life being wrong. From the lost look on his face, you may have given him another reason to fold back in on himself. “No.. No, he didn’t.”
Both of you sit in silence.
This could be nothing. Right? That means your brother is confident he can make it so there’s no point in telling Yoongi he’s gonna miss it. Or maybe he’s not trying hard enough and then not being able to say it to his face?
“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “I thought he told you.”
“It’s okay.” Clearly it’s not. “Not much to do about it now.”
“Yoongi… What if he knows?” At your own question, you stiffen, curling into a proverbial ball. Fear and the sick backfire of fibbing has your mouth going drier than desert air. “What if he actually knows?”
Setting down his chopsticks, Yoongi looks your way, eyes unreadable behind his specs. “If he did, do you think he’d leave us alone?”
He’s got a point. “Guess not.”
“Mm.” Flicking his eyes to the window, he adjusts uncomfortably in his chair. “And I dunno if I mentioned this, but.. He thinks I got back with my ex.”
“Fuck, really?”
“That’s the real reason why he hasn’t been talking to me. Maybe he thinks she’s gonna be there on Friday.”
“Oh.” Your shoulders sag, and sag. Not owning up to your relationship is one thing; Yoongi having to dwell in his previous relationship is another. “Is that… worse?”
“Kinda.” Yoongi’s eyes fall. “Much worse.”
“Shit.” Reaching across wood, you close your hand around his fingers for support. It’s the only thing you can think to do. At least, it’s what you would want if you were in his shoes. “I think you should tell him she won’t be.”
A million seconds later, Yoongi thankfully agrees. “Yeah, I will.”
You feel better. Somewhat. At least a little less nauseous about the possibility of your brother knowing.
But it still sucks knowing that he’s actively avoiding Yoongi because of an ex he used to have.
How bad was it back then if this is the case? What exactly happened? Is this why Yoongi went radio silent on you for weeks?
It seems like he doesn’t even wanna talk about her. So you won’t pry just yet, as much as you wanna know every single thing she’s done wrong so you can hound her through every timeline in existence.
Instead, you talk about a much better subject,
“We should feed my cat now.”
And you quickly laugh at the saucy glint in Yoongi’s eyes.
—
—
Everything is set where it needs to be. Sugar’s food and water fill their respective bowls, your shoulder leans into Yoongi’s good side, and his arm rests around your back as he’s propped up by his banged up doorway.
You remember the first time you saw him lean against the wood like this. Only that time, you were a shell of a girl, waiting with shaky breaths and shaken confidence to hear his response to your inappropriate request.
Who would’ve thought that you’d be on the same side as him all these months later? In his arms, resting a head on his warm chest?
When you let out a short chuckle, Yoongi turns to your smile. “Hmm?”
“Nothing,” you wisp out. “Just thinking about us.”
His fingers press into your side a fraction more, and you can feel him lift his head again. “Me, too.”
Umm.
You can say things like that. He isn’t allowed!
You’re about to set some one-sided rules before your gift pops out of the bushes a few feet away.
“My baby!” you quietly call, leaving Yoongi’s side to crouch down. “Come here, love. You hungry?”
She cautiously makes her way over, sniffing your hand when you leave it outstretched. After careful consideration, the little one nudges your palm, letting you glide fingers down her back as she approaches her bowls.
“You’re so tiny,” you observe with slight pity. “We’ll get you well fed in no time—”
“Hey, Sugar! Oh, is this her? She’s gorgeous, no wonder!”
Huh? Sugar?
Who else knows the cat’s name already?
Your neck almost strains when you look up to see who’s talking. When you notice an older lady donning a really comfy, fluffy robe, you feel like it looks super familiar before you stand.
“Hi,” you greet before introducing yourself, extending your hand and shaking the woman’s soft, delicate fingers. “Sorry if we were too loud.”
“Call me Miss Dion. And you weren’t too loud this time, sweetie,” she says with a wink, glancing down at the kitty eating what you laid out. “Was just comin’ out to water my plants so it’s good to see you’re here, too. Looks like he finally got some sense back in that head of his.”
“I’m standing right here, you know.”
“Oh, I know!”
Back? How long has she known about you? Do her and Yoongi actually converse regularly? Their banter is… Really adorable.
It’s making you fall even more in love with the man biting his cheek in amusement.
Wait.
Is Yoongi Sugar?
That is so fucking cute you could cry.
“I’m back to take care of this guy,” you explain with a head tilt. “And the little one, of course.”
It’s when you say this that Miss Dion notices the bandages on Yoongi’s face, concern pushing down her brows. “What happened to you, young man?”
“Nothing to worry about.”
“You sure? I got some ointment in my kitchen somewhere—”
“It’s all good—”
“We’ll take it,” you cut him off, not looking but feeling his stare on your face. “How much do we owe you?”
“Oh, don’t you worry about that.” With a snuff at Yoongi and a smile your way, Miss Dion heads inside to fetch a bottle.
In the meantime, you give your lover a quiet stare before bending down to run your hands over soft fur.
“Papa Sugar is gonna need that so he can’t argue,” you coo to your cat, cheekily ignoring Yoongi’s sputtering puff of air above your head.
“Papa Sugar? Really?”
You glance up to his smile with a mischievous one of your own. “What, you wanna be Sugar Daddy instead?”
The swirl in your belly is instant. Because Yoongi can only look out into the distance, biting his lip and failing to hide his grin.
Sigh. If only he didn’t have those injuries across his face. You’d push him back into the door and slam it shut if it was any other day.
Patience, patience, patience.
Those hits aren’t gonna heal with just one round of gauze.
When you have to replace the cotton patches, at least you’ll have something to help.
—
—
It’s not until you’re about to tuck in for the night that Yoongi approaches your side of the bed. Judging by the headphones slung around his neck, he’s about to work, so you assume he’s just coming to give you a kiss goodnight.
But after he does exactly that, he asks you a question that warms your chest,
“Where’s your keys.”
“In there,” you motion to the nearest wall, bag propped right under his windowsill. “Inside pocket, I think.”
Yoongi bends with a prolonged grunt, slowly rummaging until he finds your jangling keyring with its charms. When he grabs it, he silently sits on the edge up against your stomach, body heat permeating your tee while he fiddles with the clasps.
God, you’re so in trouble. You know exactly what he’s doing.
Unlike the last time he offered you complete access to his place, this time he didn’t even hesitate. And the way he secures a key amongst the loop, it’s his silent way of cementing permanence.
That’s not another key for you to borrow.
Because that key is yours.
—
—
continued in angel, pt. 2
pitstop inbox before pt2!! | join the server!
a/n: holy crap we're doing it we are actually back in the main storyline?! how do we feel right now because i am over the damn moon diving into this story again. here's a slight pitstop before you make your way over to part two (THE CONTINUATION IS IN A REBLOG!) so take a breather before heading into the resttttttt
++ feedback box:
⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like!
⇥ here!
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a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it yet, so we'll keep it goin!
note goal: since we're back in main storyline, upping the goal! 1,000 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tan14 will be dropped as soon as it's done! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
ok first off…vmin being emotional to start off this chapter was not ok omg my heart
“as much as he may have wanted some chances of his own” oh we could tell💀
oh god they’re so cute YOONGIS BACK HUG
ok so i wanted to kick bros ass but this here was a good point💔💔
“You have to admit that something isn’t fair here. Not to you, not to Yoongi, but to him. Last night was rough as fuck but, while you both got to have raw, beautiful closure, the one standing in front of you had to go to sleep in an empty house.”
friends :’)) but dom pls don’t say that everyone is stressed enough🥲
GODDD YOONGI AND READER ARE SO CUTE IM KICKING THE BLANKET ALL AROUND
MWAHAHA no one predicted how the chapter would start! which is fine by me, i love when things are a complete surprise. also not you sussing out jimin LMAO
THE BACK HUG UGHHHH LET ME LIE TO REST😩🗯️🗯️ i’m a sucker for a back hug i think 3tan Yoongi’s would heal me on the spot.
yeah…. we should give bro a lot more credit like that man really is so strong. he deserves so much love :(( reader’s friend group too like come on they are so wonderful i could sob into my hands writing about their friendship!
YEAH GOODBYE I CANT BELIEVE HOW CUTE THEY WERE HEREJFJSKDK
“To think that you’d now take a bullet for him without a second thought isn’t even wild to consider. Because you have a strange yet unshakeable feeling that he would do the same for you. “
so when you’re paying for my therapy sessions ?
- 🐦⬛
oh crow😭🤍 reader had absolutely no idea how pinpoint accurate this was and now i’m sobbing again
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title: angel (m)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)
series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2 | fugue pt. 3 | fugue pt. 4
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: right before he leaves, your brother’s conversation makes your heart stop. and it forces you to make a decision that you need to stick to, no matter what the future holds.
note: it’s been.. two years since the last main storyline update. many things have happened since then, i’ve learned more about myself, and touched more grass than ever. but we’re finally back to our scheduled tangerine programming, and it feels so surreal. incredibly grateful to everyone that has stayed, and welcome to all of you that are new to the 3tan universe!
note 2: also, happy birthday to @somebodydoesluv, @al3ejandra, and anyone else who is celebrating around this time! may you all celebrate a prosperous and healthy year around the sun.
warnings: how it starts LOL, language, explicit scenes, angst, tension, overthinkers overthinking, sibling fights, abandonment mentions, yoongi in those gd glasses again, jimin…?, obligatory kissing warning, everyone being a ride or die i’m weeping, we give the yoongi the business oops, ermm did i say angst, crying, hand holding since it’s a warning now, weapon mentions, wound mentions, yoongi on the phone :), blanket kicks incoming, feelings at an all time peak, fluff??, bro best bro, yoongi in tanks….., vmin best vmin, reader is so strong, but both siblings just need hugs man😩, studio………. time……?, things get so nasty i was blushing y’all ngl
explicit warnings: under the cut and dear god help me lmao
mood: off my face - justin bieber ; ojitos lindos - bad bunny
drop date: july 14th, 2026, 7:17pm est
word count: 25.2k…….. :’)))
explicit warnings: cursing, thigh riding, cowgirl, oral (m rec), naughty studio time(??), couch sex, rough sex, giving yoongi the business, bold as fuck reader, choking, spanking, penetrative sex, kissing deserves to be here too lol, alexa play no hands by waka flocka, deep throating, hair/head tugging, nipple play, yoongi in that gd tank, yoongi in those gd glasses, teasing, titty fucking hello!!!!, stripping while he watches…. yeah, missionary, sub!3tanyoongi?????, scratching, multiple orgasms, protected sex, emotional sex, good god they’re so hot i’m blushing
—
—
It’s morning when Jimin gets a call.
Shifting in sheets that aren’t his, he sleepily blinks once before eyeing the blue light with a squint, wondering who dares wake him up before his natural rise. What time even is it anyway? It’s gotta be an ungodly hour if his circadian rhythm is disturbed.
Still, he grabs his cell from the nightstand, flinching at the movement behind him and inwardly slinging out curses.
Because waking him up is one thing.
But if anyone disturbs Taehyung he’s gonna give them hell—
Min Yoongi: Incoming Call
Shit.
Jimin yanks the covers off, rushing out of bed and snapping Tae awake anyway. For what? Don’t fucking know, but they’re ready. Wherever. Whatever. They already stayed up clutching their phones until they physically couldn’t keep their eyes open.
Because as much as Yoongi assured him nothing would happen, Jimin still couldn’t let go of his car keys.
Answering slow, he feels his chest winding and winding, eyes locked with Taehyung while they both wait on edge, “…Yoongi?”
“Yeah.”
Thank the fucking stars.
Yoongi’s okay. He’s on the line. He made it to morning or whatever fucking time it is, and he’s doing exactly what he said he would.
And it’s enough, enough, enough.
Burns zing up the corners of Jimin’s eyes, and he swipes hard as Taehyung moves, likely to hear what’s happening and even more likely to just be by his side.
Jimin is grateful for either one. But he tries to keep composure as he croaks, “You better have woken me up for a reason.”
The slight hum on the line induces a wobbly smile. “You slept?”
“Fuck you,” Jimin shakily laughs, wiping liquid relief from an eye before Taehyung’s thumb brushes tenderly over the other. His gaze is thankful while continuing, “We did but not much.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Sniffling, Jimin walks to Tae’s door, letting him into the hallway first and finally drinking in the sight of his ass in those sweats. Because he can finally function like a normal, smitten loser again. “We’ll come over so we can—”
“No need.”
“What?” Nope. Back to panic mode. And judging from his boyfriend’s posture, Taehyung has backpedaled into that, too. “What do you mean no need?”
There’s a slight pause on the line, and small noises make their way through the speaker. It sounds like bedsheets, but it also sounds like…
“She’s still sleeping.”
Oh.
Oh, shit.
A tidal wave of relief crashes into Jimin’s ducts as he hangs his head, palming his face caught in a heavy tide of emotion. When he turns, Taehyung fairs no better, his eyes red and fingers wiping at a perfect, perfect cheek. One of them sniffles, but Jimin can’t tell if it’s him or not, because his vision is blurry and his heart is beating, beating, beating again.
Whether you know it or not, whatever you did last night may have just changed Yoongi’s entire life.
Because Jimin knows this man through and through. Years of picking up his habits and tells didn’t amount to nothing. It’s how he was able to sense exactly when to intervene, and how he knew exactly what that hauntingly hollow tone in Yoongi’s voice meant when he busted in that day.
The tone he hears now? The man that just spoke on the line?
That is a Min Yoongi so in love he can’t even hide it over the phone.
Fuck.
Gathering himself, Jimin squeaks out, “I… I’m glad you…” What the fuck does he say? Every thought jams in his throat so hard he has to hand the phone off.
Thankfully, Taehyung perfectly continues his thoughts, voice scratching rocks under a waking river, “We’re glad you’re both safe.”
“Mm.”
“So when’s the wedding?”
Jimin huffs through a fresh batch of tears, clearing his face before grinning at Tae very seriously awaiting an answer. Honestly, at this point? It’s not far-fetched. Jimin’s seeing your future clearer than his present, and maybe he will be a fun uncle sooner than he thinks.
If only Yoongi would just get the fucking talk with your brother over with.
But Jimin understands the hesitation. If he were in that same position, there’s no telling when he would be courageous enough to stand up to the guy. There’s a reason he’s quick to command a room, and his lifelong mission to protect his younger sister made him grow up a lot faster than everyone else.
Still… Yoongi just deserves to be happy. And you’re the very obvious answer to helping with that.
As much as he may have wanted some chances of his own, Jimin is grateful you found your way into his best friend’s heart. Not just anyone is invited inside, and even less people can truly be allowed to stay.
And you’re probably the only one that has permanent residence.
“You guys should get some sleep.”
Taehyung pouts right on cue, and Jimin can’t fight those sleepy, droopy eyes. “You didn’t answer me.”
Cute as fuck! He must be stopped. Taking the phone, Jimin speaks into the line fully recovered, shooting his cheeky partner a teasing glare, “We will if you get some, too.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Got some things to do at the studio—”
“No!” They reject together, both equally as appalled because what the fuck kinda answer is that?
“After what happened last night? Are you crazy?”
“What happened to spending time with her? Men!”
“He’s going on a business trip, I can’t lose to him.”
“So what?” Tae asks before they both share an even further confused look. Yoongi may be a lovesick fool but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be a dumbass! “You’re just gonna leave her alone?”
There’s a sigh on the line before Jimin plants a hand on his hip. “Not just that. You gotta rest, too, bro. If she doesn’t tell you to take it easy or at least get checked—which she will—we’re going over there to annoy you.”
“You serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious.” Jimin cocks his head and leans closer to the phone. “At least rest easy for the next couple days. Especially if you have all this time to see each other.”
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. Your brother is leaving for his trip and Yoongi caught some unfortunate hits to his ribs. The dude basically has a free pass to spend the whole week with you, and he’s not even taking full advantage of it? Oh, the things Jimin has to say about the thin line of work ethic and relationship effort.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about it for a long time,” Taehyung cuts in before Jimin can pop off, walking away into the living room.
It’s fine. Let him figure out that you aren’t a woman he can just leave. Frankly? That would tickle Jimin to no end to see Yoongi folding his plans so fast just to be with you.
But he spares him the tirade only because you’re fast asleep right next to him. “Thank you for calling, man.”
“Said I would.”
“I know.”
Because above all else, Jimin is happy to hear that voice. Even if it’s obvious he’s a little banged up from last night, it’s still Yoongi. In one piece. That’s all Jimin wanted, and he can’t thank you enough,
“Don’t overwork yourself, and stay with her as long as you can.”
There’s a small laugh on the other end. “I plan on it, Chim.”
And Jimin catches on to why. “I’m holding you to that then.”
—
—
Dawn breaks through open blinds, stretching its orange tint across a clean, spotless table.
You don’t know what got you up so early. But when you peer into the kitchen, you tell yourself you woke up right on time.
Because seeing Yoongi when you’re wide awake is better than any dream you’ll ever have.
Not because of his appearance, even though the sight of him sends a pang through your chest. No. It’s the way he’s quietly prepping a morning meal, using the arm on his better side that’s not sporting a nasty hit to the ribs, without you even asking.
Bits of sunlight dance right out of your eyes.
The effort. The consideration. This man shouldn’t be lifting a finger, yet here he is cooking before you even left his bed. Isn’t this the same man that got caught up in a fight hours ago? Isn’t this the same man you almost walked out on with a frozen heart?
Yes. But he’s also the same man that loves you. And you still can’t grasp that concept in any of the fingers playing with his tee you borrowed.
“Hi,” you whisper, telling him a thousand things.
To which he regards before smiling soft, voice travelling over linoleum and circling around your heart, “Morning, doll.”
Damn. You hear it. Yoongi’s sore as hell.
But instead of getting into that right away, you silently take residence by his side. Because this moment feels too delicate, and you admire his willingness to take care of you unprompted. You didn’t even know you’d eat before going back home.
With a hand warming his back, you wait until Yoongi’s done tossing food on the stove to peck his morning-chilled cheek. “Thank you for cooking,” you murmur, admiring those beautiful brown eyes. “Sleep okay?”
“Cus of you,” your lover softly responds, eyeing your lips before gliding back up to your gaze. “You?”
Ugh. He’s gotta know those glasses are so unfair. They’ve gotten you repeatedly before, and they’re certainly getting you now.
But you can’t help but deflate at the cuts behind those rims, while knowing there are even more bruises hiding underneath his oversized tee. How is Yoongi cooking right now? How is he even awake? “Same.”
“Good.”
These instant, deep shivers at his deeper morning voice will never, ever go away. But anything you wanna do about them isn’t important right now. Right now, you need to make sure Yoongi is either okay, or finds a way to get better.
Sliding your hands down the slopes of his chest, you delicately rest one on his ribs. “Does it still hurt?”
Yikes. That wince is enough. But Yoongi doesn’t shy away from your touch, and you appreciate the way he stays honest. “It’s sore. But I should be good.”
“You gonna get it checked?”
There’s a slight upward tilt of his lips. “Not right now.” At least the honesty persists, as much as you don’t want him following the typical manly response to hospital visits. “But I will if you want me to.”
“Please go,” you gently urge, lest you disturb the soft morning dew before it melts with the sunrise. “For me?”
Only sizzles from the stove fill the space until Yoongi nods, and his voice is just as low and tender, “I’ll go after work.”
Oh. “You’re working today?”
Just like breakfast, you didn’t expect this, either. Frankly, you figured neither of you were gonna even think about work, much less go. Sure, he’s due a hospital visit and you owe some friends immediate explanations for your absence. But other than that, shouldn’t Yoongi be resting?
Does his craft truly mean that much?
Well, shit. You gotta respect his work ethic, that’s for damn sure. Because you would sequester yourself to your bedroom and have endless dates with your television if you were sporting a good jab or two. This music thing must mean more to Yoongi than you previously thought. And who are you to step on that dream?
Suddenly, all thoughts and concerns flee from the kiss on your cheek.
“I’ll stay if you stay,” he says, turning to move the pan and scrunching his face with a grunt. Fuck.
“I…” Shit, you were gonna go back to the house anyway. And from Yoongi’s smartass smirk, you can tell he already knew that. “Just need to check on him, too. And he doesn’t have a car right now, so. I should at least give him a ride.”
“Figured.” In a move so domestic your head spins, Yoongi turns your body and gently pats your butt. “Now go sit. Let’s eat and figure this out.”
—
—
As you devour a flawless meal and clean your dishes, you plan out the day. You’ll head home and check on your brother while Yoongi heads to the studio, and then you’ll rendezvous with your friends to hang out until he’s done with work. They’re already lighting up your phone like no one’s business—especially Yuri.
Yoongi flicks the sink off before you both head to his bedroom, and you melt at the way he slowly wraps his arms around your front halfway there, all four of your legs slowing to close the rest of the distance.
What’s he doing? This is joyfully new, but you have a pretty tight deadline. Warming his forearm and your own cheeks, you chuckle out, “We have to hustle, old man.”
“You hustle me all the time,” he accuses into your shoulder blade, kissing its ridge and making you reconsider walking out the door entirely. “Lemme have this.”
Your second laugh is more subdued, and you’re right between his bed and desk when you lift both hands to hold him close. “You have everything I got,” you wisp into his skin, planting your lips once, twice before you feel his arms press further in. “So this is nothing.”
Seconds and silence slide by, the delicate veil of early morning still hovering around the room. When Yoongi doesn’t say anything, you make to turn and face him.
But you’re stopped before your heart skips.
“I could stay like this all day,” he admits, voice so low it rumbles through your bones. “And it’d be perfect.”
“What, you don’t wanna see my face?” You joke with a giggle. “Rude, but that’s fine.”
Yoongi only buries his nose further, his glasses sliding against your skin peeking from his shirt. “I’m much braver right here, doll.”
Oh.
The leap your heart does is more of a dive, plummeting into the seafoam swirling around your feet. All the words you want to respond with jump off right after, leaving you with nothing but the clouds in your eyes.
You don’t quite know what he means by that. But it feels like those six words hold the weight of a thousand, so you simply let another kiss on his smooth forearm linger. “Do you want me to go with you?”
A puff of laughter warms you right through and, despite his earlier admission, Yoongi does slowly spin you around.
And when you follow, you realize you’re much braver when you aren’t facing him, too.
“It’s not that, babe,” he says through a dashing curve. “But the offer was cute.”
“I take it back then.”
“Damn!”
Both of your laughs whoosh out and collide, sweeping as Yoongi pinches your side and you flinch towards the bed. “You fucker—!”
Before you know it, your back hits a comforter before a weight presses your stomach, emotions clashing as you’re elated and shy and immediately concerned for your boyfriend’s side. “Baby, be careful—”
Lips capture yours, sucking up your warning before a hand slides under your head. Sighing, you arch into his chest, feeling the weight of his chains slip across your breasts.
Euphoria isn’t an adequate enough word to describe how you feel. Where there used to be flutters in your ribcage now reside strong, powerful wing beats, gusts of want and desire lifting you off the ground and launching you into clear skies. Starlight of every color exists within each kiss you share, and your fingers feebly grab his tee to keep you from falling back down to earth.
“If we don’t go now,” Yoongi rasps before sliding his mouth against yours, “We’re never going anywhere again.”
“I know,” you whisper, willingly letting him kiss you once more, “Is that a promise?”
“Fuck, I wish.”
You do, too. But you know you’re running out of time for what you need to do. And weren’t you just saying you had to respect his aspirations? Shit, you really do need to snap out of it. “Come on,” you order with a pat to his chest. “We have all week to do this. We got time.”
Turns out, you’re still amongst the heavens. The way Yoongi’s looking at you? This is the closest you’ll ever get to being held by an angel.
Did he get more handsome overnight? Or is it the light in his eyes sustained since his confession in the kitchen? You don’t quite know, and you may never pinpoint why, but the tug he has on your heart spans space and time.
And you’ll run through both forever to keep meeting him again and again.
Burns prick your eyes, but he mercifully stands before he can catch any evidence of your yearning.
Just like that, the two of you bounce back to getting ready, with him sliding notebooks and headphones in a backpack while you change into your own clothes. As you sling your bag over a shoulder, he reaches for the closest hoodie, and you wordlessly make your way to the front door.
You really do hope he gets looked at today. But just like the calm after a storm, you want to encourage him gently rather than shove him out. At least he seems receptive to your gentle suggestions.
But after you ask one more time and he simply nods, you lower your eyes to his kicks. “Sorry if I’m nagging. I’d just worry less if you went right away, that’s all.”
“You aren’t nagging, babe.” Your freshly bloomed lover reaches out to hold your wrist, smoothing a rough thumb over your skin. Fucking hell, you can’t help but frown at the gashes and cuts marring his knuckles. “I’ll go as soon as I can.”
Not just his hands, but his face. His ribs. And maybe other places you haven’t even seen yet.
You don’t wanna leave his side.
But you have to head out before your brother leaves. Things need to get patched up before he flies out into more stress, and you owe him an apology for walking out when he was still aching. Based on Yoongi’s physical state? Your brother could be hiding some big wounds and you didn’t even wanna talk to him.
However. Was last night necessary? Absolutely. You cannot entertain the possible outcomes had you not tried hard enough to get through Yoongi’s door. His eyes were so dulled, his hands felt so cold. What would have happened if you didn’t force yourself inside?
Why was that guitar smashed to pieces?
This is also why you refuse to leave. So many questions, so many things you still don’t know. Like what all happened when you were separated? And how in the hell is this man in love with you?
“I don’t wanna go,” you confess, instantly encased in his arms and warmth. “I’d much rather keep kissing you.”
“True,” he says with a resigned huff, shifting his glasses with an adorable nose scrunch. If only he didn’t have so many little red lines of conflict on his face. “But we both have stuff to take care of, so let’s get all that done first.”
“Ugh, fine.” Your groan is more teasing than serious, and Yoongi’s laugh is nothing but understanding.
Damn. You still feel it. You really don’t wanna go. Be it the rawness of last night still on your skin, or the confessions still on your tongues, you just wanna stay by his side. “Sorry,” you breathe out, lacing your fingers to pepper love along his strong, reddened ridges. “I’m serious. I don’t wanna leave you right now.”
Walking out of Yoongi’s door just doesn’t feel right. Even if he’s right there and will be following you out. Is this feeling normal? Are you supposed to feel this tightly woven to someone? Because the stitching between your hearts has only gotten stronger in the tempest of last night, as if you bonded together just to hold on for dear life.
Maybe that’s exactly what happened. And it’s exactly why you can barely take one step out of his place.
“Then don’t.”
Not one second passes before your chin is held, and lips slide so tenderly across yours that they may as well melt into your touch. Your reaction is quickly swooped into his mouth, and everything falls away as you let him seize your every thought. Lightning from last night zips out of your limbs, your toes, your fingers clasping his loose tee.
You might just cry where you stand.
How have his kisses gotten even better? How have you never felt this way even though you’ve done this far more times than you were ever supposed to? It should be impossible, and yet, this man finds even more ways to astound you.
Yoongi slips a hand over your cheek, giving one more beautiful push of his lips as he confesses, “I don’t wanna leave you, either.”
And your breath stutters onto his features. “You, too?”
Slow, he kisses your cheek, the clear rim of his specs skimming your nose. When he draws back, you look right into his eyes, wondering why he’s watching your mouth instead.
“Me, too.” Yoongi kisses your other side with a quiet peck. “Fuck, me, too.”
You fucking hate what you have to do, but you don’t have a choice.
With one last lingering kiss, you both gather enough courage to set out and do what you must.
—
—
Your house is already a flurry of activity as you enter to see your brother in the kitchen, packing his leather duffle that’s a constant companion on his trips.
Of course. The memory of him purchasing the lavish accessory pops into your head every time you watch him scurry around, dimples ever present on his proud cheeks. It’s almost enough to make you smile yet again.
But you can’t when the same face is currently scratched to hell. Just like Yoongi’s, if not worse.
Fuck, is he really gonna travel looking like that?
“Hey,” he rasps out, still fighting off slumber. “You’re back earlier than I thought.”
“Wanted to check on you before we left.” Fuck, your voice sounds like it’s being forced through a clogged pipe. Loosen the hell up! “And dude. Put some bandaids on, yeah?”
“Yeah, just give me a sec. Making sure I have everything before my ride gets here.”
“Huh?” He got a ride? You’re here now so you can take him to the airport. “You sure you don’t need me to drive you?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. I didn’t know you were coming back.”
Shit. His body seems just as angular as it did last night. Which, quite frankly, could still be from what went down in the lot.
Because even though you see both men banged up, you suddenly realize you don’t actually know what all transpired.
After all, there wasn’t much talk of it after you walked into the tempest of Yoongi’s living room.
Of course, you aren’t gonna bring it up just this second. There are other things to ask about and make sure of first. “Wallet? Phone? Passport?”
“Yup, yup, uhh.. Yup.”
Zippers sling in the quiet morning air as you continue, “And you’re coming back on Friday, right?”
“Oh.. Nah.” When you start crossing the kitchen, your brother hauls his leather bag over his better shoulder. Honestly, no one would be able to tell the other one’s bruised with his suit on. That thing damn well covers everything except the cuts on his face and hands. “Saturday.”
You pause in your journey to the medicine cabinet. “Wait.. Saturday? The release party’s on Friday.”
“Yeah.. I know.”
What the fuck? That’s bullshit they’re keeping him longer than they have to. Struggling to understand how corporate can keep your brother on a leash and get away with it, you urge, “Tell them to at least let you go home a day early. Don’t you wanna support your friends?”
“You mean Yoongi?”
A zing of terror zips through your eyes, freezing every vein in an instant.
The fuck was that question? Never mind. Stay calm stay calm stay fucking calm. “Uhh, yeah, he’s one of them? But the other guys, too, right? I know you care about them and this is huge.”
Mercifully, your sibling just shakes his head and waves you off. “Don’t you think I already tried? I don’t wanna miss it but I don’t have a choice. Conference schedule is pretty tight and I’m heading the panel on Friday.”
“Is it in the morning? You can fly out after—”
“Why are you fighting so hard?”
“Why aren’t you fighting harder!”
Okay, what in the hell is happening right now? Screw optics and how this must look for you, your brother needs to be there. Him and Yoongi are the tightest of friends, the most ride or die duo you’ve ever seen. You can’t picture a timeline where he misses this monumental moment, and it’s starting to really upset you that he’s barely trying.
“You think I’m not fighting for it?”
“I certainly don’t think you’re trying enough—”
“Alright, you know what?” Hard steps surge forward as you stand rigid, a duffle hastily dumped onto tile. “You don’t know what I’ve tried. You don’t even know if I even told him yet.”
Fucking shit. You hold his stare before turning away, tossing out the idea of bandages entirely and searing footsteps into the hallway—
“Or do you.”
Before icing over with the unforgiving frost of zero gravity space.
Slow, you turn, not quite facing him but not backing down, either. “…Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You talkin’? What else has he been doing to you?”
Oh. Fuck that.
Doing to you?
Fuck all of this. This is too much to handle right now and you know you’re gonna snap if he keeps pushing because you are not having this conversation right before he leaves. You’ve already thought about this before, right? You cannot fuck with his head right before business trips because he needs to be on and locked in.
But now he’s fucking with your temper and those are some choice fucking words pulled out of his ass.
You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately threatened this man to his face and meant it before, and it tears a sharp corner of your heart, “You better be very careful. With whatever you wanna say next.”
The air proves too thick to slice. While your body stands aflame, your brother is iced over, brimming with an energy that damn near takes physical form. “All I’m saying is? I find out some fucking bullshit is going on—”
No no no, not now.
Reacting fast is your only instinct, brain haywire and fizzling fizzling boiling. Harsh, you spin on your heel and shout the first thing you can think of, “Oh, come on—”
“You better hope to god you’re ready for what’s coming—”
“Stop!” Fuck fuck fuck, this is so frustrating because your head is exploding and your body is screaming to just tell him already. Fuck the consequences at this point this is ludicrous.
Doing to you? Yoongi? How dare he speak about his best friend like that how dare he accuse him without outright saying the words all you have to do is tell your brother how wrong he’s got it.
But you can’t be the one. Yoongi said he would, and he probably took months to get to that point of strength—and healing, from what you can tell.
This is between them. Them. You have to honor that, as much as you wanna just confess everything now and deal with it yourself.
But goddamn your brother is pulsing with anger and it’s leaking into your own charged air.
What does he think is happening? Does he think Yoongi’s just, what, playing you? He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. Yoongi’s been nothing but the best thing that’s ever happened to you and shit your heart hurts because…
Your brother is valid in thinking that.
How foolish. Didn’t you guard your heart from Yoongi for the longest? Didn’t everything start because you figured you knew who he was because of his reputation? You got him all wrong, too. So how can you be mad at your brother for doing the same?
Fuck, think. Just think before someone gets hurt.
Because if you aren’t careful, someone—or multiple someones—will get hurt in seconds. You have to bear the pain alone right now. To protect them both, you have to keep your trembling mouth shut.
And? You have to admit that something isn’t fair here. Not to you, not to Yoongi, but to him. Last night was rough as fuck but, while you both got to have raw, beautiful closure, the one standing in front of you had to go to sleep in an empty house.
So chill the fuck out.
Breathing to cool down, you tense and loosen, tense and loosen. “I get it. You’re angry, and you have a lot going on. But,” you bite down on your lip to keep going. “We’re talking about something else. We’re talking about you, and I’m still pissed you even let those guys goad you into a fight. What are we, twelve?”
Seething, your sibling takes the switch of pace. But it is not what you want to hear. “Are you seri—? What the hell was I supposed to do? That son of a bitch grabbed you—”
“I know,” you recoil. “Don’t tell me like you were there, because you weren’t.”
Finally—finally—those angry lines in his face vanish.
But they make way for something much worse than anger. Because your older brother, someone that’s been there for you your whole life..
Looks absolutely stricken over the one time he wasn’t.
Damn it.
Regretful, you drop your shoulders in exhaustion and quiet compromise. When you continue, your voice is much softer, “But I told you: they were. Your friends, they were there because they knew you wanted that. Jimin got me away, Yoongi took me home and stayed.”
You really have got to stop saying his name like you love him. It could start becoming too obvious.
Shuddering, you shift your weight, folding your arms and shrinking into yourself.
That night, despite Yoongi’s best and most gentle efforts, still clings to where that loser touched you at Dalo. You hate that you haven’t gotten over it, and you loathe the way you still rub over the same spot. Over, and over. “What did you want him to do? Leave me here?”
“No.”
“Exactly. And he didn’t.” You adjust your stance again, making an impromptu gamble as you decide to let some truth leak out. Because your brother is owed at least this much. “And fine, you wanna know something? We do talk more because of it.”
Your brother’s head snaps up, and you brace. Because if you show any shred of weakness or hesitation, he’ll see right through your weak attempt to hide most of the truth,
“But don’t ever accuse him of doing anything to me. That was fucked up to say and you know it.”
“Fuck.” In agreement, he rubs his hair back. “It was. I’m sorry.”
“Trust me,” you swallow, hating that this is how things have to be for now. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s never.. Never done anything to me, anyway.”
It’s not a lie. Everything he’s done has been with you. For you. Because of you.
But your heart’s in anguish as it sinks. Because that expression on your older sibling’s face can only be one thing.
Pure. Utter. Relief.
Fire singes your eyes before you can quell the flame. It’s the hardest technical truth to swallow.
Sure, he doesn’t have anything to worry about as far as you being safe. And on top of that, he doesn’t have to worry about any fake shit because Yoongi confessed to you last night.
But as far as his best friend sleeping with and now dating his sister behind his back? That is still very much sitting right in the center of the table.
And now you’re starting to see just how fucked all three of you are as soon as you sit down to eat the truth.
But Yoongi said he’d be the one to tell, so he will.
This feeling is so fucking miserable, though.
In the end, your brother is effectively convinced, raking a hand across his head and sighing. “Jimin told me what all went down at Dalo, I just… Last night was… Fucked up.”
“Well, yeah.”
“No. See, this is just like what you said to me. You can’t say it like you were there.”
It’s your stomach’s turn to twist. “So? You were scratched and bruised to hell, and Y…” Shut up, shut up. You’re not supposed to know about the state of anyone else. “And you were… quieter.”
“Because of what happened, dude.”
You blink. “What… What happened?”
Your brother looks at you—really looks at you.
And suddenly, your gut flares in terror, storming in an instant across your abdomen.
“That bitch pulled something on us.”
Your heart.
It’s in freefall.
“Wait… What?” You can’t even form more than one syllable at a time, your legs turning gelatinous and knees starting to give out. “No… What are you…?”
What the fuck did he just say? That bitch pulled a what?
Your sibling slowly walks toward you once again, watching like he’s just waiting for you to say anything. Do anything.
But you’re a complete statue because all you can think about is the horror of something happening and the relief that nothing happened all at once.
Was Yoongi too scared to mention that part? Is this why he was holding back and shaking every time he reached out to touch you? Even this morning, he was so…
You’ve never seen him like that. Is this why?
Your mind is swirling and crashing, overlapping each passing thought and scream running through your head. “I’m so sorry,” you hitch out, “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Didn’t wanna scare you,” he sighs out. Putting both hands on his hips, your brother stops feet away, visibly still shook as he pierces wooden planks with his stare. “But he pulled it right before Yoongi… and if it weren’t…Fuck.”
Burns flare and slice through your eyes when he has to pause. What is he trying to say? Pulled what?
Before Yoongi what?
Your brother continues, and your throat tightens. “If it weren’t for some random ass sirens, I… Things could’ve been so different.”
What the fuck is happening. What the hell are you hearing?
“It was probably dumb as fuck. But I was so fucking angry,” he grits out, watery eyes crushed looking your way. “So fucking mad at how he was talking about you, I.. Walked right up to him and told him to fuck off.”
You can’t even breathe.
“I still feel it,” he quietly adds, fingers pressed against his side. “Right here.”
“Fuck,” you finally choke out, eyes on fucking fire.
“But all I knew was to keep you all safe,” he says, with hardened resolve and a wobbly chin. “And that’s exactly what I did. I did that shit, even if that meant—”
Tears fling out of your eyes, flowing hot down your cheeks because you wouldn’t want any of them to go out that way. Nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened and yet your body is acting as if something did and it hurts.
Your brother is there as soon as you crumple forward, letting you bury your head in his chest and sob your heart out. For him, for his friends, and for all the time you had with the man you love so, so dearly.
If anything happened to your brother before you came clean… If anything happened before you and Yoongi could even…
Suddenly, you feel equal weights of guilt. For running out on your brother. And for almost walking out on Yoongi.
You decide an apology is in order for both of them, and all the understanding in the world for Yoongi’s frosted demeanor as soon as you get him alone again.
And you are one hundred percent going to tell your brother everything once he’s back.
The tears cannot stop, and you’re sure you are crying unimpeded in a pressed and primmed suit. “I’m so sorry,” you keep repenting like a prayer. “This is all my fault.”
“No—”
“You almost—”
“Hey, stop.” He yanks you back, both of your faces soaked with saltwater. “What did I say before? I threw the first swing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But it led to all this, I just.. I just feel so fucking stupid.”
“Don’t. Hey, look at me.” Firm but gentle, he holds you at arm’s length, forcing you to face him. “Maybe we’re both stupid, but you weren’t the idiot. I was.”
You feel so many conflicting things in your soul.
What would you have done if Yoongi was in critical condition? What would you have done differently if your brother was instead? Are they the same? Are the two situations really so different anymore?
No they aren’t they aren’t they aren’t.
“Please don’t do that again,” you shake out. “Even if it was for me, if I ever lost you, I...”
“You know I can’t promise anything.” He furrows his brows when you eye him with anger and sadness. “But nothing like that is happening again. Especially with the same dudes.”
“Okay.”
A vicious tornado of emotions sends your whole body into agonizing pain. This isn’t what you expected at all, and it’s causing your limbs to lock at the bends. Too many scenarios are jangling about yet you can’t ask for specifics because that will just make it even more real.
A nightmare is somehow better once you know it ends with you waking up. “I’m… gonna need some time to process everything.”
“I know. And I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but… You deserve to know the things I get into.”
Ah.
The irony is not lost on you.
“At least, if they involve you. We learned our lesson. You were right to tell us off.”
God. You feel numb.
“Thanks,” you murmur, suddenly immensely tired. “I think I need more sleep.”
A blaring honk sounds outside the house, and you both flinch at the noise.
And your throat burns at the way your brother instinctively swept you behind his back.
When you realize what it is, you know what has to come next.
And he’s the first to react as he turns to face you again, “Alright. I’m heading out, just remember to go get my baby when she’s fixed, yeah?”
“Do you have to go?”
Wait.
The question seems to startle him as much as it does you.
How did you blurt it right out before even registering the words? Why does your heart clench at the sight of those eyes looking so pained?
Why does everything feel so shaky within these walls that were always your home?
“I do,” he says, voice tight. “I’m sorry.”
And why the fuck do you feel sad he’s leaving?
“No, no, it’s.. Of course you have to.” You can’t help the lump in your throat from bobbing, the regret in your limbs as they barely move at your side. “I dunno why I asked, I guess I just..”
There’s no response to your sniffle.
“Sorry for yelling,” you squeak out. “I just feel really queasy.”
For a lot more reasons than one.
“We all made it out,” your brother whispers. “That’s what matters.”
“Will you… Will you at least try to be back for the party?”
The man swallows with his brows knit tight, then attempts to crack the tiniest smile. “You know I will. That’s my guy.”
“Okay.” You nod, sniffling again. After what he just told you? You know he’ll do anything for the ones he loves. “See you there.”
Your brother rubs a comforting palm over your head before turning, heading for the door and grabbing his leather duffle.
When he stops to glance at you one more time, you give a little wave of your hand before watching the door click shut.
Chest caving as you collapse to the ground in tears.
—
—
The need to call Yoongi burns so harshly your fingers damn near set your top aflame.
But he’s at work, and you can’t fuck things up right when you’re approaching the finish line. You almost did with your brother, and that gave you twelve heart attacks in the span of minutes.
Still. Your chest aches so much that a thirteenth could very well be approaching. You don’t even realize you’re bracing the hallway wall for support until you try to stand, back sore and aching from bending so far for so long.
What did your brother mean to say about Yoongi? What did that coward pull on them? Do you even want to know what happened?
Fighting back tears, you reach down for your phone, shakily typing out a message only to erase it. Then again. And again.
And again.
Giving up, you forcefully swallow all your worries, cringing at the bitterness of the unknown and the burnt molasses of hidden truths.
It’s going to be okay. No matter what you think or imagine in your head, they made it out, they made it out, they are all alive.
That’s the only reason you can move forward, each step getting you from your room. To your bathroom.
And back again.
—
—
After showering, you feel lighter and refreshed, though the soreness between your legs has yet to leave.
But you wouldn’t want it any other way, as it’s another reminder of Yoongi’s apparent brush with survival. His broken living room spurned the creation of your bond, your devotion to him as he confessed before you gave him your utmost trust in his sheets.
The end is so close. As soon as this week is over, you’ll rip the last bit of peel from your pair of tangerines, baring all truths to your brother and facing the consequences.
Finally ready, you head to your car, opening your text threads with a plan: start slow.
Start with something that can be interpreted neutrally if anyone saw it on his phone screen, especially if your headstrong ex is in the room.
You [12:31pm]: how are you feeling?
Yoongi [12:34pm]: 1 Attachment
You close your door with brows furrowed.
Yoongi’s at the hospital?
That’s not what you expected at all.
Your chest swells with relief knowing he’s there, but you also wanna make sure he’s feeling okay. Especially his mental state after whatever the fuck your brother just dropped on you before leaving.
Goddamn, that’s going to gnaw at your brain until you find the right time and right amount of courage to ask about it. Because it’s very possible Yoongi won’t tell you.
Because it’s probably something he knows you won’t like.
Fuck.
You [12:34pm]: Loved an Attachment
You [12:34pm]: thank you for listening🤍 still sore?
Yoongi [12:35pm]: Yeah, but not bad. Just there.
Wait. He’s not at the studio. That means you can—
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you slowly say as you pull out into the street. “I’m driving now so this is easier.”
“Course. You going to Tae’s?”
“Maybe. I’m going to Yuri’s first.” You swallow, realizing that you didn’t tell him about what you let slip before driving over. “I.. Told her. About you.”
There’s a little bit of silence on the line, just some adjustments and muffled speaker sounds. “Sorry, just writing this down. What’s wrong with that?”
You huff through your nose. Gotta be those patient forms that always take forever to fill out. “Oh. Just more and more people knowing, is all.”
“Everyone’s gonna know eventually.”
You hold back a small smile. Because he’s right. “Yeah. I’m just tired of this feeling.”
“Like you’re hiding something.”
It’s your turn for silence. He doesn’t know how accurately that was played out today. The only answer you can provide is a curt, “Exactly.”
“Same.”
Wings beat around your heart again.
He wants this. Yoongi really, really wants this. And years ago, that outcome wouldn’t have even crossed your mind as an option.
“Thank you for going, baby.”
“The guys made me.”
You hum. “Which ones.”
After a pause, you hear a puff of amusement. “All of them at some point today, actually.”
All of them? Does that include your brother? Did they talk about the trip already?
Your laugh is bittersweet. “Well. Glad to know you can be forced by everyone else except me.”
“Hey, I was already gonna go because of you!” Yoongi quietly retorts, and you giggle at the pout in his words. “Just wanted to get a headstart on work first.”
You were right. He really does wanna go all out for his musical endeavors.
It’s extremely admirable, and wildly attractive, but it does come to a point. “As much as I love your passion, old man, I wanna keep you upright.”
He laughs soft into the line, and you think you can listen to that specific sound on an infinite loop. “That’s fair.”
“How long is it gonna take, you think?”
“Dunno. But I’ll keep myself busy until I’m out.”
Of course he will. You don’t doubt he won’t waste any time. Didn’t he bring journals in his backpack? You wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote ten thousand songs before being called in. “Just call me if you need anything, please?”
“Of course, babe.”
“Thank you,” you say with utmost sincerity. “If only my brother would be less stubborn and get checked, too.”
“He’ll probably do it once he gets there.”
“Did you convince him?”
“Nah. But once he knows I did, he’ll do it.”
“Figures.” You scoff. “Okay, I’m almost there. Let me know how it goes.”
“K. Bye, doll.”
You didn’t ask him what went down. But it’s not the time nor place, and you have plenty of chances this week to figure out when that would be—if at all.
“Talk soon.”
—
—
For a normally bustling household, Yuri’s house is quiet.
So it’s not shocking when you walk into the kitchen and see all your friends glance your way, slowly vacating their chairs with eyes never leaving your face. Even Reia is on high alert.
Did Yuri tell her? Did Yuri tell anyone else?
No. She’s a talker and loves spilling, but she promised. And when she promises something, you know you can trust her to keep it.
It’s what pours emotion in your voice as you meekly greet, “Hey, guys—”
A crushing hug closes your throat. Yuri’s the one that gets to you first, with Reia and Dominique waiting their turns to offer you healing, relieved embraces.
“What happened?”
“Scared us half to death.”
Dom puts you at arm’s length to give a once over, noting your face rubbed raw and eyes still a little bloodshot. Thankfully, her pupils hold more concern than disappointment. “You good?”
Your eyes wobble alongside your smile, and you think it’s enough proof. “More than that,” you still decide to whisper, and your heart beats again at her reaction.
“Thank god. I was ready to kick your ass if you weren’t.”
Heading up to Yuri’s room, you all wait until the door is swung back before mounting her canopy bed, sitting in a tight circle as you divulge everything.
Well. Almost everything.
You tell them that Yoongi is the one you’ve been seeing, how you went to check on him last night in a panic, and the terrifying reason why. When you mention the fight after the basketball game, all three of your friends erupt in questions, and you have to assure them everything turned out okay. Honestly, you also do this to assure yourself, too.
“So… Your brother’s just fine with all of this?” Reia asks, not noticing the tick of Dom’s jaw.
“Well,” you start with a higher pitch, earning a pair of groans. “He doesn’t exactly know yet—”
“Yup. He’s gonna murder him.”
“Yeah, should we say our condolences now or..”
“How long has this been going on?” Reia fires off another question that digs into your chest. “Was he the one you were seeing the whole time?”
“Yes,” you admit with a sigh. “I should’ve told you guys from the beginning, but. The whole thing just felt so delicate. But! We just started making things official recently, so..”
Dom turns your way. “Official how?”
Well. Here goes everything.
With a shaky breath, and lingering feelings from the time it happened, you reveal with watery eyes, “Yoongi… Told me he loves me.”
Both Yuri and Reia react in yelps, Dom’s gaze lowering as the girls reach to grab your hands.
Wait. What’s going on with her? She’s the one that knows the most, she’s the one that covered for you all those months ago. She has to be the one that is the least surprised at all this.
Blinking, you note to confront her about it later. Right now, you’re too focused on trying not to cry as your friends tumble out questions and support,
“He said it? Did you say it first or did he?”
“How did it happen! Oh, I’m so happy for you, babe—”
“Thank—thank you, Yuri,” you squeeze out as she hugs you close. “I couldn’t believe it, but he just.. Said it. We weren’t even doing anything, I was just.. Looking up what injuries he could have..”
And he confessed in the most Yoongi fashion he could have.
Looking back, it shouldn’t shock you at all. He’s always found ways to sweep you off your proverbial feet, so why would a confession plucked from the heavens be any different?
She lets you go before wiping her eyes, Reia and even Dom now sporting watery pupils, too.
“As much as I’m upset at you for not telling us, I’ve never been so happy for you.” When Yuri’s features crease in another sob, you sniffle along with the rest. “It’s been so long since you… And you really.. Fuck.”
You know what she’s trying to say, and the realization has your throat constricting so tight.
It’s been forever since you’ve had something like this, someone like this. When you and Jungkook were together, you told him that you loved him before he broke it off.
Sure, you bought the rings together, but he never uttered those words until years after when it didn’t even matter. And all your relationships after his were complete and utter bullshit, so you don’t think you ever even heard those three words and knew them to be true.
Yoongi was the first to ever say them so sincerely.
And that fact makes your ducts burn and burn.
And when Yuri finally speaks, it breaks the dam holding your real deluge back,
“I can’t think of anyone else that deserves to be loved more than you.”
All at once, everything streams out as you hunch forward. The pain of everything you’ve endured, the hopelessness of knowing you’d most likely end up alone, the excruciating prospect of a future that you never deemed bright, or peaceful, or comforting.
And to think that even this man could’ve been snatched away from you in a snap? Even more tears overlap with the ones you’re shedding, and you can’t even reach out to hug all three beautiful, angelic souls surrounding you with tight arms and sobs because your limbs lock at all bends.
It’s the exact release you need. All your friends supporting you, all the pent up anxiety of last night and today, the truth setting itself free in some capacity—all in the comfort of a plushie-laden bed you only doubted yourself in last time.
Everything’s gonna be alright. It has to be. You’re gonna fight for the ones you love, even if a war between them is inevitable.
It takes a few minutes of heavy silence for you all to separate, swiping and rubbing tears while letting out happy sniffles.
When you thank them for being understanding, they assure you it’s okay. And when you say you’re going to tell your brother soon, a force from the doorway has all of you leaping from lilac sheets,
“Tell him what?”
Jia stands firm with a laundry basket at her hip, and Yuri scoffs at her older sister for barging in. “A knock would’ve been nice!”
Fuck!
You can’t tell Jia of all people. If you spill anything about Yoongi, she’s one hundred percent going to tell your brother. They’re the same age, and run in pretty tight circles, so of course you are not going to risk it.
But you can tell her something else you’re going to tell your older sibling, so you fire out a half-truth,
“Tell him not to pick any other fights that could get him killed.”
Jia’s eyes zoom to your wrecked face, and she drops the laundry with haste before asking, “What happened? When? Tell me now.”
Huh. Maybe your brother has a type, if he’s still into Jia like he said before.
You feel a little spark in your chest as you let her know they all got in a scuffle after the basketball game, and another pang as she immediately abandons the room and clothes with a fierce declaration,
“I’m gonna kill them myself!”
“Don’t worry, I already hounded my brother!” You call out after her, sighing as Yuri shakes her head with a smile. “She gets like that when she’s really worried, huh.”
“Yeah..” Your friend leans to look around you, noticing the basket left alone on the ground. “And if she’s super fired up, she drops everything and doesn’t stop until it’s handled. Clearly.”
Maybe both older siblings really are similar.
The firestorm of an interruption seemed to break the tension in the room, with all of you finally relaxing and catching up. When they ask you questions, you answer what you can.
And when you divulge information that has your ears burning, their squeals and yells give you whole new reasons to live.
—
—
After a very comforting lunch Yuri’s mom cooked, you head to the bathroom when your phone suddenly vibrates through your palm.
Huh? That’s weird. You expect the name on your screen to be Taehyung, not Yoongi.
Not that it’s a bad thing. You’ve been waiting to hear from him, so this is a pleasant surprise.
Closing the door to the guest bathroom, you gaze at the calming sage decor with a smile. “Hi, how did it—”
“You’re coming over later, right?”
Oh, shit. Is he okay?
“Yes, baby,” you respond with a soothing lilt, ears perked and body on high alert.
Does he think you aren’t anymore? You both decided on the plans earlier. Surely he knows you’d never just flake on him. “I’m coming back once you’re done with work, remember?”
There’s an uncomfortable pause on the line, which makes your boyfriend’s next question jab you so far in the lungs you can’t breathe,
“…Can it be now?”
Shit.
Just like Jia earlier, you drop every plan you have to the wayside. You’re sure that Taehyung will understand, and you already got through the biggest conversation you needed to with your friends.
“Of course,” you whoosh out. “Lemme just say bye and I’ll go.”
“Take your time.” A small shuffling interrupts. “It’ll take me a bit to get back.”
“Okay. See you there.”
The strained urgency in his voice makes your hair stand on end, so you vacate the bathroom to inform the girls that you gotta go—but not without a quick head tilt towards Dom, who follows you outside and into the afternoon sun.
—
—
You wait until you’re next to your car on the street, turning with a concerned expression and jittery nerves, “What’s up with you? Did I do something wrong?”
Turns out, you read Dominique correctly. Her jaw locks before loosening, and it reminds you of the time she confronted you about Yoongi before. God, how much has changed since then. That feels like ages and ages ago.
“It’s not about you,” your best friend clears the air and the tightness in your shoulders. “I’m just.. Glad he came around.”
“Yoongi?” When Dom nods, you blink. “Wait, what?”
“At your house that night.. After he left your room, we had—I dunno, a heart-to-heart.” She sighs, flicking braids over her shoulder. You note to compliment the beads she chose this time, because they remind you of summer and simpler times. “I might’ve pressured him a bit, and.. I think he wanted to tell me that he loved you. All the way back then.”
Something in your heart stutters, and you can only repeat your last question, “What?”
“Yeah. Something about needing to do something first,” she continues, holding your gaze with perfect brows furrowed in sunlight. “But I could tell he was damn serious about whatever it was. And if he was willing to do it for you? I let it go.”
Your mind whirls.
Yoongi was already in love with you back then? Is that why he needed to let you go? To deal with whatever he had to do?
One side of you breaks thinking he had to go through all that alone; the other side is screaming at his past self for not even giving you a choice. What did he go through? What did he have to do?
Now you really have to see him. Immediately.
“Thank you, Dom,” you rush out while opening your door. “I’m just happy it’s over.”
“The hell it’s not.” Shooting you a glare that heats the oncoming breeze, she reminds, “It’s not over until your brother knows. And based on everything that’s happened? That conversation is not gonna go over well.”
A dark, simmering boil starts in your stomach, and you’re already feeling queasy again. Tightening your door handle, you gulp hard. “I know.”
“Trust me, I’m happy for you both. I am.” Both hands find her hips as she levels a gaze that you really, really don’t enjoy. “But I’m gonna be honest, I think this is gonna ruin their friendship for good.”
Both of your lungs clamp shut.
“Please don’t say that,” you beg, “I’m gonna fight for all of us. I will.”
“I don’t doubt that, babe. Hey, uh uh, come here.” Reaching out, she gives you a tight hug just when you feel fragile again.
“Listen to me. I don’t doubt that,” she says into your shoulder. “I’m just here to be realistic. Just don’t be shocked if that’s how it goes. We’ll be here for you no matter what, too.”
“Okay,” you say with a scrunched face into her scent. God, she always smells so good, and it’s almost enough to calm you down. Almost almost almost. “Thank you. But I’m not giving up.”
“That’s my girl.” She squeezes you one more time. “I love you.”
With eyes searing over, you choke and grip her tighter. “I love you, too.”
—
—
Yoongi’s door warms your back as you wait for him to show.
But there’s a good chance it can just be your volcanic anxiety.
Ever since your arrival, you’ve paced, you’ve gnawed on your lips, you’ve had to shake the nerves out of your hands.
And over and over, you’ve strained your neck to look for your favorite cat, because you could sincerely use even a glimpse of her right now.
While she doesn’t end up showing, Yoongi rounds the nearest corner minutes after your last desperate scan.
Fuck, he’s so handsome.
Even now, as he simply walks toward you with a backpack slung over his shoulder, you watch with undying yearning to feel those flowing bangs over his forehead. You’d even settle for a single touch of his cheeks, one of them currently sporting a thin bandage.
But the closer Yoongi gets, the quicker your admiration morphs into concern. There’s a deep bend in his brows that you can’t decipher, and his fist is balled pretty tight.
Seriously, what happened? He looks so troubled that you slowly push off the doorway to ask,
“Baby, what’s—”
A bag hits the ground before you’re swooped into a kiss so electric your lips spark.
Him. Him, him, and more him. For the love of everything you don’t understand what’s happening but you kiss Yoongi back with everything you have, arms slinging around his strong shoulders and tugging him closer because he clearly needed this.
And fuck if you didn’t need it just as much. Screw it if anyone sees you. This is all you want and you’ll stay right here until he pulls away.
When he finally does, both of you swallow to catch your breaths, and your soul glimmers when his forehead meets yours.
“Hi, baby,” you whisper to his exhales. “Missed you, too.”
Silent, your lover kisses your forehead before hugging you close, and you’re more sure of your prediction than ever. Something is bothering him.
He doesn’t look worse, at least. But there’s clearly something off and he’s not hiding it. His lack of words is loud enough.
“Let’s go inside,” you quietly suggest. “I would’ve gone in already but I don’t have a key.”
He nods, fishing out his keyring to let you both inside.
When you set your bags down and slip off your shoes, it’s only seconds before you’re softly pulled into a hug again, surprising yet so, so welcoming.
Even only after a few hours, you’ve missed the fuck out of him. Which makes all of this an outright dream.
“Sorry,” Yoongi finally murmurs against your shoulder. “I just…”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” You stroke a hand along his hair, massaging his scalp and loving how soft it feels. The windswept strands fall back into place as you keep running your fingers through. “Did you at least get your appointment?”
“Yeah, I did.” He buries his face further. “Nothing bad. Just can’t lift anything heavy for a couple days.”
“Good. That’s easy to manage,” you whisper back into his tee, feeling the chill of lingering air conditioning and body warmth all at once. “Is something else bothering you?”
“Not exactly.” Whatever that means. “I’ll tell you about it later. Just wanted this, and you.”
Oh. That’s…
“I’m here now, love,” you assure with a melting heart, wondering what happened to cause this behavior.
Is it because of last night? Or something that happened today? You’re anxious all over again, but from the way Yoongi’s acting, your worries are second to his. “Have you eaten yet?”
He shakes his head, only pulling you closer with not a word from his lips.
And from this point on, you make a silent vow to yourself. Whatever Yoongi needs, you’re going to take care of him.
No matter what, these next few days are all about him—a minuscule sacrifice in comparison to everything he’s done for you, whether you knew about it or not.
“I’ll make you something then. Come on.”
When you walk, you slip your hand down his arm to hold his hand, and your lead into his kitchen is short.
“Any requests?” You cheerfully ask as you spare a smile over your shoulder. “We can do… Something light…”
Only to see him staring back with nothing but a lingering sense of longing.
Okay.
You need to get to the bottom of this now.
Stopping right over linoleum, you leave no room for arguments, “Yoongi. Tell me what’s wrong.”
He blinks before his gaze meets the floor. So you’re confused when he simply, quietly..
Laughs?
“It’s not that something’s wrong,” he slowly starts, a shy smile carving his features. “For the first time in my life, nothing’s wrong.”
Your heart beats extra loud.
“But it’s too much to explain right now.” His eyes rise to meet yours. “Just know that I’m so in love with you.”
Oh.
“And I want you to know that every day I live.”
Fuck.
Your body responds before you can say anything, lips connecting to remove any need for speech. The knowledge of them all staring death in the face last night makes this confession sear your insides, and you can’t help but kiss him like you’ll never get to again.
Yanking him back, you spin on your heel until he flings into the kitchen, clutching your wrists before gripping your jaw with both hands.
His mouth heats on yours, his glasses the only barrier between your skin. Everything sizzles from your head to your toes, and you both bang into a countertop before—
“Fuck, ouch.”
“Shit, you okay?”
Yoongi rubs his side with one eye pinched shut, a corner of his teeth present. “Yeah. Worth it, though.”
“Be serious,” you reprimand. Looks like he’s gonna have to take it easy, which means no going at it like animals until he’s on the mend. “No more until you feel better, yeah?”
“Says who?”
“Babe.”
His deadly pout almost breaks your resolve. “Fine.”
But you can wait. You’re sure it won’t take long, and for this man? You’ll wait however long you need to.
Besides, there’s plenty of things you can do in the meantime that don’t require running into hard objects.
“Good. Now let’s…” You turn away to get started before you’re held, and pulled back into yet another embrace.
What the hell is happening today? Your lungs and your melting pile of a brain can only take so much. It’s beautifully overwhelming how Yoongi can’t seem to let you go, because you’re the one that always loses control.
This whole time, it’s been you that can’t hold yourself back.
So now? Being on the other side? You don’t think you ever want him to restrain himself again.
This time, he moves slow. Sensuously slow, and it would occur to you that he’s finding a very cheeky loophole to your plan if you weren’t so hazy-eyed.
Whatever Yoongi’s doing, you won’t stop him.
Your back touches a counter before Yoongi cages you in, and your lips mold together as perfectly as his body does with yours. Your unhurried strokes match his, and your minds communicate without a single word.
There’s yearning still ever present. But there’s comfort in abundance, and a whole new level of need.
After he pulls away, you can visibly see him drink you in from head to toe.
“You know.. I’m good holding off on all the other shit.” Pulling you in, his lips curve as he confidently declares, “But I’m never gonna stop kissing you.”
His hands, his lips, his words. They all have healing powers, you’re so sure of it. If Yoongi hasn’t yet realized his unending pain has blossomed into a safe haven, you need to let him know no matter what,
“Good.”
There’s still a pining in his eyes, but he lets you free, hand skirting your hip before he walks to his room. “Gonna change then I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to, baby,” you say as you struggle to catch your breath. “I got it.”
Three minutes later, he’s chopping an onion anyway.
But you’re loving how serene everything feels with the two of you prepping and dicing, thumps of knives on wood intertwining in sound before you laugh at his crying over the pesky vegetable. Maybe if he wore contacts instead of specs, he’d be better off.
Not that his choice of eyewear is what you’re complaining about. But those glasses paired with the cream tees he’s been wearing? There will be hell to pay as soon as you get a chance at revenge.
Your pot is set to boil for a bit, so you finally rest against the counter and start a timer on his microwave. “Go ahead,” you gesture to your very handsome cooking partner. “You can sit now.”
“Huh? We’re not done yet.”
“Oh.” Blinking, you tilt your head in confusion because you could’ve sworn you heard him yawn a couple times. “You aren’t tired?”
“I am,” he says before squeezing his eyes, rapid blinks to follow. “But I’m fine here.”
You toss and turn the food around, sprinkling a little more seasoning and hearing the bubbles and fizzes. When you stir a little more, a sudden thought occurs, halting your movements and spinning you around,
“Are you staying there to watch my ass.”
Yoongi’s slow smile gives everything away, but he also makes up for the blatant staring.
“Can’t deny that’s one of the things.” Pushing off the sink, he stands right next to you, slotting a hand behind your neck and angling you for a kiss. “But I meant it earlier. I just…”
You’re completely silent as you watch him slide his eyes from your face to the sizzling food. Whatever he’s thinking about, you’re gonna give him all the room to talk.
“Just like being where you are.”
How you went from almost running out of his door to here, you aren’t quite sure. But you’re grateful for that split second of him deciding to fight for the two of you instead of against, because you really were going to leave.
And you may have taken much, much longer to even try going back.
Your voice is barely heard over the aromatic smell and fizzle, “Good thing I like having you around.” When he smiles again, you let out a breath of a giggle, going back to shuffling the pan around and tilting your head to the fridge. “I put some fruit in there if you wanna eat that, too.”
“I’m down.”
“K.”
Your food is ready soon enough, and the two of you eat while talking about easy topics. Like work and your workplace dynamics, what Yoongi’s team has been working on at the studio.
At one point, your curiosity about the album release party grows from something he says. “Speaking of. The party’s on Friday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I thought so,” you deflate, setting your bowl down on the table. “Sorry he can’t go.”
“Huh?”
Your body stills. “Wait. Did he not say anything? About his trip being extended?”
So much for nothing in his life being wrong. From the lost look on his face, you may have given him another reason to fold back in on himself. “No.. No, he didn’t.”
Both of you sit in silence.
This could be nothing. Right? That means your brother is confident he can make it so there’s no point in telling Yoongi he’s gonna miss it. Or maybe he’s not trying hard enough and then not being able to say it to his face?
“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “I thought he told you.”
“It’s okay.” Clearly it’s not. “Not much to do about it now.”
“Yoongi… What if he knows?” At your own question, you stiffen, curling into a proverbial ball. Fear and the sick backfire of fibbing has your mouth going drier than desert air. “What if he actually knows?”
Setting down his chopsticks, Yoongi looks your way, eyes unreadable behind his specs. “If he did, do you think he’d leave us alone?”
He’s got a point. “Guess not.”
“Mm.” Flicking his eyes to the window, he adjusts uncomfortably in his chair. “And I dunno if I mentioned this, but.. He thinks I got back with my ex.”
“Fuck, really?”
“That’s the real reason why he hasn’t been talking to me. Maybe he thinks she’s gonna be there on Friday.”
“Oh.” Your shoulders sag, and sag. Not owning up to your relationship is one thing; Yoongi having to dwell in his previous relationship is another. “Is that… worse?”
“Kinda.” Yoongi’s eyes fall. “Much worse.”
“Shit.” Reaching across wood, you close your hand around his fingers for support. It’s the only thing you can think to do. At least, it’s what you would want if you were in his shoes. “I think you should tell him she won’t be.”
A million seconds later, Yoongi thankfully agrees. “Yeah, I will.”
You feel better. Somewhat. At least a little less nauseous about the possibility of your brother knowing.
But it still sucks knowing that he’s actively avoiding Yoongi because of an ex he used to have.
How bad was it back then if this is the case? What exactly happened? Is this why Yoongi went radio silent on you for weeks?
It seems like he doesn’t even wanna talk about her. So you won’t pry just yet, as much as you wanna know every single thing she’s done wrong so you can hound her through every timeline in existence.
Instead, you talk about a much better subject,
“We should feed my cat now.”
And you quickly laugh at the saucy glint in Yoongi’s eyes.
—
—
Everything is set where it needs to be. Sugar’s food and water fill their respective bowls, your shoulder leans into Yoongi’s good side, and his arm rests around your back as he’s propped up by his banged up doorway.
You remember the first time you saw him lean against the wood like this. Only that time, you were a shell of a girl, waiting with shaky breaths and shaken confidence to hear his response to your inappropriate request.
Who would’ve thought that you’d be on the same side as him all these months later? In his arms, resting a head on his warm chest?
When you let out a short chuckle, Yoongi turns to your smile. “Hmm?”
“Nothing,” you wisp out. “Just thinking about us.”
His fingers press into your side a fraction more, and you can feel him lift his head again. “Me, too.”
Umm.
You can say things like that. He isn’t allowed!
You’re about to set some one-sided rules before your gift pops out of the bushes a few feet away.
“My baby!” you quietly call, leaving Yoongi’s side to crouch down. “Come here, love. You hungry?”
She cautiously makes her way over, sniffing your hand when you leave it outstretched. After careful consideration, the little one nudges your palm, letting you glide fingers down her back as she approaches her bowls.
“You’re so tiny,” you observe with slight pity. “We’ll get you well fed in no time—”
“Hey, Sugar! Oh, is this her? She’s gorgeous, no wonder!”
Huh? Sugar?
Who else knows the cat’s name already?
Your neck almost strains when you look up to see who’s talking. When you notice an older lady donning a really comfy, fluffy robe, you feel like it looks super familiar before you stand.
“Hi,” you greet before introducing yourself, extending your hand and shaking the woman’s soft, delicate fingers. “Sorry if we were too loud.”
“Call me Miss Dion. And you weren’t too loud this time, sweetie,” she says with a wink, glancing down at the kitty eating what you laid out. “Was just comin’ out to water my plants so it’s good to see you’re here, too. Looks like he finally got some sense back in that head of his.”
“I’m standing right here, you know.”
“Oh, I know!”
Back? How long has she known about you? Do her and Yoongi actually converse regularly? Their banter is… Really adorable.
It’s making you fall even more in love with the man biting his cheek in amusement.
Wait.
Is Yoongi Sugar?
That is so fucking cute you could cry.
“I’m back to take care of this guy,” you explain with a head tilt. “And the little one, of course.”
It’s when you say this that Miss Dion notices the bandages on Yoongi’s face, concern pushing down her brows. “What happened to you, young man?”
“Nothing to worry about.”
“You sure? I got some ointment in my kitchen somewhere—”
“It’s all good—”
“We’ll take it,” you cut him off, not looking but feeling his stare on your face. “How much do we owe you?”
“Oh, don’t you worry about that.” With a snuff at Yoongi and a smile your way, Miss Dion heads inside to fetch a bottle.
In the meantime, you give your lover a quiet stare before bending down to run your hands over soft fur.
“Papa Sugar is gonna need that so he can’t argue,” you coo to your cat, cheekily ignoring Yoongi’s sputtering puff of air above your head.
“Papa Sugar? Really?”
You glance up to his smile with a mischievous one of your own. “What, you wanna be Sugar Daddy instead?”
The swirl in your belly is instant. Because Yoongi can only look out into the distance, biting his lip and failing to hide his grin.
Sigh. If only he didn’t have those injuries across his face. You’d push him back into the door and slam it shut if it was any other day.
Patience, patience, patience.
Those hits aren’t gonna heal with just one round of gauze.
When you have to replace the cotton patches, at least you’ll have something to help.
—
—
It’s not until you’re about to tuck in for the night that Yoongi approaches your side of the bed. Judging by the headphones slung around his neck, he’s about to work, so you assume he’s just coming to give you a kiss goodnight.
But after he does exactly that, he asks you a question that warms your chest,
“Where’s your keys.”
“In there,” you motion to the nearest wall, bag propped right under his windowsill. “Inside pocket, I think.”
Yoongi bends with a prolonged grunt, slowly rummaging until he finds your jangling keyring with its charms. When he grabs it, he silently sits on the edge up against your stomach, body heat permeating your tee while he fiddles with the clasps.
God, you’re so in trouble. You know exactly what he’s doing.
Unlike the last time he offered you complete access to his place, this time he didn’t even hesitate. And the way he secures a key amongst the loop, it’s his silent way of cementing permanence.
That’s not another key for you to borrow.
Because that key is yours.
—
—
continued in angel, pt. 2
pitstop inbox before pt2!! | join the server!
a/n: holy crap we're doing it we are actually back in the main storyline?! how do we feel right now because i am over the damn moon diving into this story again. here's a slight pitstop before you make your way over to part two (THE CONTINUATION IS IN A REBLOG!) so take a breather before heading into the resttttttt
++ feedback box:
⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like!
⇥ here!
++ more links:
⇥ masterlist
⇥ three tangerines masterlist
a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it yet, so we'll keep it goin!
note goal: since we're back in main storyline, upping the goal! 1,000 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tan14 will be dropped as soon as it's done! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
series:three tangerines
pairing: fuckboy!yoongi x reader(f)
rating/genre: m (18+) ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au ; angst, smut
summary: “when yoongi told you he would be there if you needed anything, this isn’t what he had in mind”
warnings: stated in each installment. minors dni.
mood:moonlight, 28, people - agust d
by readers:inspo | playlist mlist: created 2022/01/04
wanna read in chronological order?:click here
status: ongoing
title: angel (m)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)
series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2 | fugue pt. 3 | fugue pt. 4
rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: right before he leaves, your brother’s conversation makes your heart stop. and it forces you to make a decision that you need to stick to, no matter what the future holds.
note: it’s been.. two years since the last main storyline update. many things have happened since then, i’ve learned more about myself, and touched more grass than ever. but we’re finally back to our scheduled tangerine programming, and it feels so surreal. incredibly grateful to everyone that has stayed, and welcome to all of you that are new to the 3tan universe!
note 2: also, happy birthday to @somebodydoesluv, @al3ejandra, and anyone else who is celebrating around this time! may you all celebrate a prosperous and healthy year around the sun.
warnings: how it starts LOL, language, explicit scenes, angst, tension, overthinkers overthinking, sibling fights, abandonment mentions, yoongi in those gd glasses again, jimin…?, obligatory kissing warning, everyone being a ride or die i’m weeping, we give the yoongi the business oops, ermm did i say angst, crying, hand holding since it’s a warning now, weapon mentions, wound mentions, yoongi on the phone :), blanket kicks incoming, feelings at an all time peak, fluff??, bro best bro, yoongi in tanks….., vmin best vmin, reader is so strong, but both siblings just need hugs man😩, studio………. time……?, things get so nasty i was blushing y’all ngl
explicit warnings: under the cut and dear god help me lmao
mood: off my face - justin bieber ; ojitos lindos - bad bunny
drop date: july 14th, 2026, 7:17pm est
word count: 25.2k…….. :’)))
explicit warnings: cursing, thigh riding, cowgirl, oral (m rec), naughty studio time(??), couch sex, rough sex, giving yoongi the business, bold as fuck reader, choking, spanking, penetrative sex, kissing deserves to be here too lol, alexa play no hands by waka flocka, deep throating, hair/head tugging, nipple play, yoongi in that gd tank, yoongi in those gd glasses, teasing, titty fucking hello!!!!, stripping while he watches…. yeah, missionary, sub!3tanyoongi?????, scratching, multiple orgasms, protected sex, emotional sex, good god they’re so hot i’m blushing
—
—
It’s morning when Jimin gets a call.
Shifting in sheets that aren’t his, he sleepily blinks once before eyeing the blue light with a squint, wondering who dares wake him up before his natural rise. What time even is it anyway? It’s gotta be an ungodly hour if his circadian rhythm is disturbed.
Still, he grabs his cell from the nightstand, flinching at the movement behind him and inwardly slinging out curses.
Because waking him up is one thing.
But if anyone disturbs Taehyung he’s gonna give them hell—
Min Yoongi: Incoming Call
Shit.
Jimin yanks the covers off, rushing out of bed and snapping Tae awake anyway. For what? Don’t fucking know, but they’re ready. Wherever. Whatever. They already stayed up clutching their phones until they physically couldn’t keep their eyes open.
Because as much as Yoongi assured him nothing would happen, Jimin still couldn’t let go of his car keys.
Answering slow, he feels his chest winding and winding, eyes locked with Taehyung while they both wait on edge, “…Yoongi?”
“Yeah.”
Thank the fucking stars.
Yoongi’s okay. He’s on the line. He made it to morning or whatever fucking time it is, and he’s doing exactly what he said he would.
And it’s enough, enough, enough.
Burns zing up the corners of Jimin’s eyes, and he swipes hard as Taehyung moves, likely to hear what’s happening and even more likely to just be by his side.
Jimin is grateful for either one. But he tries to keep composure as he croaks, “You better have woken me up for a reason.”
The slight hum on the line induces a wobbly smile. “You slept?”
“Fuck you,” Jimin shakily laughs, wiping liquid relief from an eye before Taehyung’s thumb brushes tenderly over the other. His gaze is thankful while continuing, “We did but not much.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Sniffling, Jimin walks to Tae’s door, letting him into the hallway first and finally drinking in the sight of his ass in those sweats. Because he can finally function like a normal, smitten loser again. “We’ll come over so we can—”
“No need.”
“What?” Nope. Back to panic mode. And judging from his boyfriend’s posture, Taehyung has backpedaled into that, too. “What do you mean no need?”
There’s a slight pause on the line, and small noises make their way through the speaker. It sounds like bedsheets, but it also sounds like…
“She’s still sleeping.”
Oh.
Oh, shit.
A tidal wave of relief crashes into Jimin’s ducts as he hangs his head, palming his face caught in a heavy tide of emotion. When he turns, Taehyung fairs no better, his eyes red and fingers wiping at a perfect, perfect cheek. One of them sniffles, but Jimin can’t tell if it’s him or not, because his vision is blurry and his heart is beating, beating, beating again.
Whether you know it or not, whatever you did last night may have just changed Yoongi’s entire life.
Because Jimin knows this man through and through. Years of picking up his habits and tells didn’t amount to nothing. It’s how he was able to sense exactly when to intervene, and how he knew exactly what that hauntingly hollow tone in Yoongi’s voice meant when he busted in that day.
The tone he hears now? The man that just spoke on the line?
That is a Min Yoongi so in love he can’t even hide it over the phone.
Fuck.
Gathering himself, Jimin squeaks out, “I… I’m glad you…” What the fuck does he say? Every thought jams in his throat so hard he has to hand the phone off.
Thankfully, Taehyung perfectly continues his thoughts, voice scratching rocks under a waking river, “We’re glad you’re both safe.”
“Mm.”
“So when’s the wedding?”
Jimin huffs through a fresh batch of tears, clearing his face before grinning at Tae very seriously awaiting an answer. Honestly, at this point? It’s not far-fetched. Jimin’s seeing your future clearer than his present, and maybe he will be a fun uncle sooner than he thinks.
If only Yoongi would just get the fucking talk with your brother over with.
But Jimin understands the hesitation. If he were in that same position, there’s no telling when he would be courageous enough to stand up to the guy. There’s a reason he’s quick to command a room, and his lifelong mission to protect his younger sister made him grow up a lot faster than everyone else.
Still… Yoongi just deserves to be happy. And you’re the very obvious answer to helping with that.
As much as he may have wanted some chances of his own, Jimin is grateful you found your way into his best friend’s heart. Not just anyone is invited inside, and even less people can truly be allowed to stay.
And you’re probably the only one that has permanent residence.
“You guys should get some sleep.”
Taehyung pouts right on cue, and Jimin can’t fight those sleepy, droopy eyes. “You didn’t answer me.”
Cute as fuck! He must be stopped. Taking the phone, Jimin speaks into the line fully recovered, shooting his cheeky partner a teasing glare, “We will if you get some, too.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Got some things to do at the studio—”
“No!” They reject together, both equally as appalled because what the fuck kinda answer is that?
“After what happened last night? Are you crazy?”
“What happened to spending time with her? Men!”
“He’s going on a business trip, I can’t lose to him.”
“So what?” Tae asks before they both share an even further confused look. Yoongi may be a lovesick fool but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be a dumbass! “You’re just gonna leave her alone?”
There’s a sigh on the line before Jimin plants a hand on his hip. “Not just that. You gotta rest, too, bro. If she doesn’t tell you to take it easy or at least get checked—which she will—we’re going over there to annoy you.”
“You serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious.” Jimin cocks his head and leans closer to the phone. “At least rest easy for the next couple days. Especially if you have all this time to see each other.”
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. Your brother is leaving for his trip and Yoongi caught some unfortunate hits to his ribs. The dude basically has a free pass to spend the whole week with you, and he’s not even taking full advantage of it? Oh, the things Jimin has to say about the thin line of work ethic and relationship effort.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Think about it for a long time,” Taehyung cuts in before Jimin can pop off, walking away into the living room.
It’s fine. Let him figure out that you aren’t a woman he can just leave. Frankly? That would tickle Jimin to no end to see Yoongi folding his plans so fast just to be with you.
But he spares him the tirade only because you’re fast asleep right next to him. “Thank you for calling, man.”
“Said I would.”
“I know.”
Because above all else, Jimin is happy to hear that voice. Even if it’s obvious he’s a little banged up from last night, it’s still Yoongi. In one piece. That’s all Jimin wanted, and he can’t thank you enough,
“Don’t overwork yourself, and stay with her as long as you can.”
There’s a small laugh on the other end. “I plan on it, Chim.”
And Jimin catches on to why. “I’m holding you to that then.”
—
—
Dawn breaks through open blinds, stretching its orange tint across a clean, spotless table.
You don’t know what got you up so early. But when you peer into the kitchen, you tell yourself you woke up right on time.
Because seeing Yoongi when you’re wide awake is better than any dream you’ll ever have.
Not because of his appearance, even though the sight of him sends a pang through your chest. No. It’s the way he’s quietly prepping a morning meal, using the arm on his better side that’s not sporting a nasty hit to the ribs, without you even asking.
Bits of sunlight dance right out of your eyes.
The effort. The consideration. This man shouldn’t be lifting a finger, yet here he is cooking before you even left his bed. Isn’t this the same man that got caught up in a fight hours ago? Isn’t this the same man you almost walked out on with a frozen heart?
Yes. But he’s also the same man that loves you. And you still can’t grasp that concept in any of the fingers playing with his tee you borrowed.
“Hi,” you whisper, telling him a thousand things.
To which he regards before smiling soft, voice travelling over linoleum and circling around your heart, “Morning, doll.”
Damn. You hear it. Yoongi’s sore as hell.
But instead of getting into that right away, you silently take residence by his side. Because this moment feels too delicate, and you admire his willingness to take care of you unprompted. You didn’t even know you’d eat before going back home.
With a hand warming his back, you wait until Yoongi’s done tossing food on the stove to peck his morning-chilled cheek. “Thank you for cooking,” you murmur, admiring those beautiful brown eyes. “Sleep okay?”
“Cus of you,” your lover softly responds, eyeing your lips before gliding back up to your gaze. “You?”
Ugh. He’s gotta know those glasses are so unfair. They’ve gotten you repeatedly before, and they’re certainly getting you now.
But you can’t help but deflate at the cuts behind those rims, while knowing there are even more bruises hiding underneath his oversized tee. How is Yoongi cooking right now? How is he even awake? “Same.”
“Good.”
These instant, deep shivers at his deeper morning voice will never, ever go away. But anything you wanna do about them isn’t important right now. Right now, you need to make sure Yoongi is either okay, or finds a way to get better.
Sliding your hands down the slopes of his chest, you delicately rest one on his ribs. “Does it still hurt?”
Yikes. That wince is enough. But Yoongi doesn’t shy away from your touch, and you appreciate the way he stays honest. “It’s sore. But I should be good.”
“You gonna get it checked?”
There’s a slight upward tilt of his lips. “Not right now.” At least the honesty persists, as much as you don’t want him following the typical manly response to hospital visits. “But I will if you want me to.”
“Please go,” you gently urge, lest you disturb the soft morning dew before it melts with the sunrise. “For me?”
Only sizzles from the stove fill the space until Yoongi nods, and his voice is just as low and tender, “I’ll go after work.”
Oh. “You’re working today?”
Just like breakfast, you didn’t expect this, either. Frankly, you figured neither of you were gonna even think about work, much less go. Sure, he’s due a hospital visit and you owe some friends immediate explanations for your absence. But other than that, shouldn’t Yoongi be resting?
Does his craft truly mean that much?
Well, shit. You gotta respect his work ethic, that’s for damn sure. Because you would sequester yourself to your bedroom and have endless dates with your television if you were sporting a good jab or two. This music thing must mean more to Yoongi than you previously thought. And who are you to step on that dream?
Suddenly, all thoughts and concerns flee from the kiss on your cheek.
“I’ll stay if you stay,” he says, turning to move the pan and scrunching his face with a grunt. Fuck.
“I…” Shit, you were gonna go back to the house anyway. And from Yoongi’s smartass smirk, you can tell he already knew that. “Just need to check on him, too. And he doesn’t have a car right now, so. I should at least give him a ride.”
“Figured.” In a move so domestic your head spins, Yoongi turns your body and gently pats your butt. “Now go sit. Let’s eat and figure this out.”
—
—
As you devour a flawless meal and clean your dishes, you plan out the day. You’ll head home and check on your brother while Yoongi heads to the studio, and then you’ll rendezvous with your friends to hang out until he’s done with work. They’re already lighting up your phone like no one’s business—especially Yuri.
Yoongi flicks the sink off before you both head to his bedroom, and you melt at the way he slowly wraps his arms around your front halfway there, all four of your legs slowing to close the rest of the distance.
What’s he doing? This is joyfully new, but you have a pretty tight deadline. Warming his forearm and your own cheeks, you chuckle out, “We have to hustle, old man.”
“You hustle me all the time,” he accuses into your shoulder blade, kissing its ridge and making you reconsider walking out the door entirely. “Lemme have this.”
Your second laugh is more subdued, and you’re right between his bed and desk when you lift both hands to hold him close. “You have everything I got,” you wisp into his skin, planting your lips once, twice before you feel his arms press further in. “So this is nothing.”
Seconds and silence slide by, the delicate veil of early morning still hovering around the room. When Yoongi doesn’t say anything, you make to turn and face him.
But you’re stopped before your heart skips.
“I could stay like this all day,” he admits, voice so low it rumbles through your bones. “And it’d be perfect.”
“What, you don’t wanna see my face?” You joke with a giggle. “Rude, but that’s fine.”
Yoongi only buries his nose further, his glasses sliding against your skin peeking from his shirt. “I’m much braver right here, doll.”
Oh.
The leap your heart does is more of a dive, plummeting into the seafoam swirling around your feet. All the words you want to respond with jump off right after, leaving you with nothing but the clouds in your eyes.
You don’t quite know what he means by that. But it feels like those six words hold the weight of a thousand, so you simply let another kiss on his smooth forearm linger. “Do you want me to go with you?”
A puff of laughter warms you right through and, despite his earlier admission, Yoongi does slowly spin you around.
And when you follow, you realize you’re much braver when you aren’t facing him, too.
“It’s not that, babe,” he says through a dashing curve. “But the offer was cute.”
“I take it back then.”
“Damn!”
Both of your laughs whoosh out and collide, sweeping as Yoongi pinches your side and you flinch towards the bed. “You fucker—!”
Before you know it, your back hits a comforter before a weight presses your stomach, emotions clashing as you’re elated and shy and immediately concerned for your boyfriend’s side. “Baby, be careful—”
Lips capture yours, sucking up your warning before a hand slides under your head. Sighing, you arch into his chest, feeling the weight of his chains slip across your breasts.
Euphoria isn’t an adequate enough word to describe how you feel. Where there used to be flutters in your ribcage now reside strong, powerful wing beats, gusts of want and desire lifting you off the ground and launching you into clear skies. Starlight of every color exists within each kiss you share, and your fingers feebly grab his tee to keep you from falling back down to earth.
“If we don’t go now,” Yoongi rasps before sliding his mouth against yours, “We’re never going anywhere again.”
“I know,” you whisper, willingly letting him kiss you once more, “Is that a promise?”
“Fuck, I wish.”
You do, too. But you know you’re running out of time for what you need to do. And weren’t you just saying you had to respect his aspirations? Shit, you really do need to snap out of it. “Come on,” you order with a pat to his chest. “We have all week to do this. We got time.”
Turns out, you’re still amongst the heavens. The way Yoongi’s looking at you? This is the closest you’ll ever get to being held by an angel.
Did he get more handsome overnight? Or is it the light in his eyes sustained since his confession in the kitchen? You don’t quite know, and you may never pinpoint why, but the tug he has on your heart spans space and time.
And you’ll run through both forever to keep meeting him again and again.
Burns prick your eyes, but he mercifully stands before he can catch any evidence of your yearning.
Just like that, the two of you bounce back to getting ready, with him sliding notebooks and headphones in a backpack while you change into your own clothes. As you sling your bag over a shoulder, he reaches for the closest hoodie, and you wordlessly make your way to the front door.
You really do hope he gets looked at today. But just like the calm after a storm, you want to encourage him gently rather than shove him out. At least he seems receptive to your gentle suggestions.
But after you ask one more time and he simply nods, you lower your eyes to his kicks. “Sorry if I’m nagging. I’d just worry less if you went right away, that’s all.”
“You aren’t nagging, babe.” Your freshly bloomed lover reaches out to hold your wrist, smoothing a rough thumb over your skin. Fucking hell, you can’t help but frown at the gashes and cuts marring his knuckles. “I’ll go as soon as I can.”
Not just his hands, but his face. His ribs. And maybe other places you haven’t even seen yet.
You don’t wanna leave his side.
But you have to head out before your brother leaves. Things need to get patched up before he flies out into more stress, and you owe him an apology for walking out when he was still aching. Based on Yoongi’s physical state? Your brother could be hiding some big wounds and you didn’t even wanna talk to him.
However. Was last night necessary? Absolutely. You cannot entertain the possible outcomes had you not tried hard enough to get through Yoongi’s door. His eyes were so dulled, his hands felt so cold. What would have happened if you didn’t force yourself inside?
Why was that guitar smashed to pieces?
This is also why you refuse to leave. So many questions, so many things you still don’t know. Like what all happened when you were separated? And how in the hell is this man in love with you?
“I don’t wanna go,” you confess, instantly encased in his arms and warmth. “I’d much rather keep kissing you.”
“True,” he says with a resigned huff, shifting his glasses with an adorable nose scrunch. If only he didn’t have so many little red lines of conflict on his face. “But we both have stuff to take care of, so let’s get all that done first.”
“Ugh, fine.” Your groan is more teasing than serious, and Yoongi’s laugh is nothing but understanding.
Damn. You still feel it. You really don’t wanna go. Be it the rawness of last night still on your skin, or the confessions still on your tongues, you just wanna stay by his side. “Sorry,” you breathe out, lacing your fingers to pepper love along his strong, reddened ridges. “I’m serious. I don’t wanna leave you right now.”
Walking out of Yoongi’s door just doesn’t feel right. Even if he’s right there and will be following you out. Is this feeling normal? Are you supposed to feel this tightly woven to someone? Because the stitching between your hearts has only gotten stronger in the tempest of last night, as if you bonded together just to hold on for dear life.
Maybe that’s exactly what happened. And it’s exactly why you can barely take one step out of his place.
“Then don’t.”
Not one second passes before your chin is held, and lips slide so tenderly across yours that they may as well melt into your touch. Your reaction is quickly swooped into his mouth, and everything falls away as you let him seize your every thought. Lightning from last night zips out of your limbs, your toes, your fingers clasping his loose tee.
You might just cry where you stand.
How have his kisses gotten even better? How have you never felt this way even though you’ve done this far more times than you were ever supposed to? It should be impossible, and yet, this man finds even more ways to astound you.
Yoongi slips a hand over your cheek, giving one more beautiful push of his lips as he confesses, “I don’t wanna leave you, either.”
And your breath stutters onto his features. “You, too?”
Slow, he kisses your cheek, the clear rim of his specs skimming your nose. When he draws back, you look right into his eyes, wondering why he’s watching your mouth instead.
“Me, too.” Yoongi kisses your other side with a quiet peck. “Fuck, me, too.”
You fucking hate what you have to do, but you don’t have a choice.
With one last lingering kiss, you both gather enough courage to set out and do what you must.
—
—
Your house is already a flurry of activity as you enter to see your brother in the kitchen, packing his leather duffle that’s a constant companion on his trips.
Of course. The memory of him purchasing the lavish accessory pops into your head every time you watch him scurry around, dimples ever present on his proud cheeks. It’s almost enough to make you smile yet again.
But you can’t when the same face is currently scratched to hell. Just like Yoongi’s, if not worse.
Fuck, is he really gonna travel looking like that?
“Hey,” he rasps out, still fighting off slumber. “You’re back earlier than I thought.”
“Wanted to check on you before we left.” Fuck, your voice sounds like it’s being forced through a clogged pipe. Loosen the hell up! “And dude. Put some bandaids on, yeah?”
“Yeah, just give me a sec. Making sure I have everything before my ride gets here.”
“Huh?” He got a ride? You’re here now so you can take him to the airport. “You sure you don’t need me to drive you?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. I didn’t know you were coming back.”
Shit. His body seems just as angular as it did last night. Which, quite frankly, could still be from what went down in the lot.
Because even though you see both men banged up, you suddenly realize you don’t actually know what all transpired.
After all, there wasn’t much talk of it after you walked into the tempest of Yoongi’s living room.
Of course, you aren’t gonna bring it up just this second. There are other things to ask about and make sure of first. “Wallet? Phone? Passport?”
“Yup, yup, uhh.. Yup.”
Zippers sling in the quiet morning air as you continue, “And you’re coming back on Friday, right?”
“Oh.. Nah.” When you start crossing the kitchen, your brother hauls his leather bag over his better shoulder. Honestly, no one would be able to tell the other one’s bruised with his suit on. That thing damn well covers everything except the cuts on his face and hands. “Saturday.”
You pause in your journey to the medicine cabinet. “Wait.. Saturday? The release party’s on Friday.”
“Yeah.. I know.”
What the fuck? That’s bullshit they’re keeping him longer than they have to. Struggling to understand how corporate can keep your brother on a leash and get away with it, you urge, “Tell them to at least let you go home a day early. Don’t you wanna support your friends?”
“You mean Yoongi?”
A zing of terror zips through your eyes, freezing every vein in an instant.
The fuck was that question? Never mind. Stay calm stay calm stay fucking calm. “Uhh, yeah, he’s one of them? But the other guys, too, right? I know you care about them and this is huge.”
Mercifully, your sibling just shakes his head and waves you off. “Don’t you think I already tried? I don’t wanna miss it but I don’t have a choice. Conference schedule is pretty tight and I’m heading the panel on Friday.”
“Is it in the morning? You can fly out after—”
“Why are you fighting so hard?”
“Why aren’t you fighting harder!”
Okay, what in the hell is happening right now? Screw optics and how this must look for you, your brother needs to be there. Him and Yoongi are the tightest of friends, the most ride or die duo you’ve ever seen. You can’t picture a timeline where he misses this monumental moment, and it’s starting to really upset you that he’s barely trying.
“You think I’m not fighting for it?”
“I certainly don’t think you’re trying enough—”
“Alright, you know what?” Hard steps surge forward as you stand rigid, a duffle hastily dumped onto tile. “You don’t know what I’ve tried. You don’t even know if I even told him yet.”
Fucking shit. You hold his stare before turning away, tossing out the idea of bandages entirely and searing footsteps into the hallway—
“Or do you.”
Before icing over with the unforgiving frost of zero gravity space.
Slow, you turn, not quite facing him but not backing down, either. “…Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You talkin’? What else has he been doing to you?”
Oh. Fuck that.
Doing to you?
Fuck all of this. This is too much to handle right now and you know you’re gonna snap if he keeps pushing because you are not having this conversation right before he leaves. You’ve already thought about this before, right? You cannot fuck with his head right before business trips because he needs to be on and locked in.
But now he’s fucking with your temper and those are some choice fucking words pulled out of his ass.
You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately threatened this man to his face and meant it before, and it tears a sharp corner of your heart, “You better be very careful. With whatever you wanna say next.”
The air proves too thick to slice. While your body stands aflame, your brother is iced over, brimming with an energy that damn near takes physical form. “All I’m saying is? I find out some fucking bullshit is going on—”
No no no, not now.
Reacting fast is your only instinct, brain haywire and fizzling fizzling boiling. Harsh, you spin on your heel and shout the first thing you can think of, “Oh, come on—”
“You better hope to god you’re ready for what’s coming—”
“Stop!” Fuck fuck fuck, this is so frustrating because your head is exploding and your body is screaming to just tell him already. Fuck the consequences at this point this is ludicrous.
Doing to you? Yoongi? How dare he speak about his best friend like that how dare he accuse him without outright saying the words all you have to do is tell your brother how wrong he’s got it.
But you can’t be the one. Yoongi said he would, and he probably took months to get to that point of strength—and healing, from what you can tell.
This is between them. Them. You have to honor that, as much as you wanna just confess everything now and deal with it yourself.
But goddamn your brother is pulsing with anger and it’s leaking into your own charged air.
What does he think is happening? Does he think Yoongi’s just, what, playing you? He’s wrong. He’s so wrong. Yoongi’s been nothing but the best thing that’s ever happened to you and shit your heart hurts because…
Your brother is valid in thinking that.
How foolish. Didn’t you guard your heart from Yoongi for the longest? Didn’t everything start because you figured you knew who he was because of his reputation? You got him all wrong, too. So how can you be mad at your brother for doing the same?
Fuck, think. Just think before someone gets hurt.
Because if you aren’t careful, someone—or multiple someones—will get hurt in seconds. You have to bear the pain alone right now. To protect them both, you have to keep your trembling mouth shut.
And? You have to admit that something isn’t fair here. Not to you, not to Yoongi, but to him. Last night was rough as fuck but, while you both got to have raw, beautiful closure, the one standing in front of you had to go to sleep in an empty house.
So chill the fuck out.
Breathing to cool down, you tense and loosen, tense and loosen. “I get it. You’re angry, and you have a lot going on. But,” you bite down on your lip to keep going. “We’re talking about something else. We’re talking about you, and I’m still pissed you even let those guys goad you into a fight. What are we, twelve?”
Seething, your sibling takes the switch of pace. But it is not what you want to hear. “Are you seri—? What the hell was I supposed to do? That son of a bitch grabbed you—”
“I know,” you recoil. “Don’t tell me like you were there, because you weren’t.”
Finally—finally—those angry lines in his face vanish.
But they make way for something much worse than anger. Because your older brother, someone that’s been there for you your whole life..
Looks absolutely stricken over the one time he wasn’t.
Damn it.
Regretful, you drop your shoulders in exhaustion and quiet compromise. When you continue, your voice is much softer, “But I told you: they were. Your friends, they were there because they knew you wanted that. Jimin got me away, Yoongi took me home and stayed.”
You really have got to stop saying his name like you love him. It could start becoming too obvious.
Shuddering, you shift your weight, folding your arms and shrinking into yourself.
That night, despite Yoongi’s best and most gentle efforts, still clings to where that loser touched you at Dalo. You hate that you haven’t gotten over it, and you loathe the way you still rub over the same spot. Over, and over. “What did you want him to do? Leave me here?”
“No.”
“Exactly. And he didn’t.” You adjust your stance again, making an impromptu gamble as you decide to let some truth leak out. Because your brother is owed at least this much. “And fine, you wanna know something? We do talk more because of it.”
Your brother’s head snaps up, and you brace. Because if you show any shred of weakness or hesitation, he’ll see right through your weak attempt to hide most of the truth,
“But don’t ever accuse him of doing anything to me. That was fucked up to say and you know it.”
“Fuck.” In agreement, he rubs his hair back. “It was. I’m sorry.”
“Trust me,” you swallow, hating that this is how things have to be for now. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s never.. Never done anything to me, anyway.”
It’s not a lie. Everything he’s done has been with you. For you. Because of you.
But your heart’s in anguish as it sinks. Because that expression on your older sibling’s face can only be one thing.
Pure. Utter. Relief.
Fire singes your eyes before you can quell the flame. It’s the hardest technical truth to swallow.
Sure, he doesn’t have anything to worry about as far as you being safe. And on top of that, he doesn’t have to worry about any fake shit because Yoongi confessed to you last night.
But as far as his best friend sleeping with and now dating his sister behind his back? That is still very much sitting right in the center of the table.
And now you’re starting to see just how fucked all three of you are as soon as you sit down to eat the truth.
But Yoongi said he’d be the one to tell, so he will.
This feeling is so fucking miserable, though.
In the end, your brother is effectively convinced, raking a hand across his head and sighing. “Jimin told me what all went down at Dalo, I just… Last night was… Fucked up.”
“Well, yeah.”
“No. See, this is just like what you said to me. You can’t say it like you were there.”
It’s your stomach’s turn to twist. “So? You were scratched and bruised to hell, and Y…” Shut up, shut up. You’re not supposed to know about the state of anyone else. “And you were… quieter.”
“Because of what happened, dude.”
You blink. “What… What happened?”
Your brother looks at you—really looks at you.
And suddenly, your gut flares in terror, storming in an instant across your abdomen.
“That bitch pulled something on us.”
Your heart.
It’s in freefall.
“Wait… What?” You can’t even form more than one syllable at a time, your legs turning gelatinous and knees starting to give out. “No… What are you…?”
What the fuck did he just say? That bitch pulled a what?
Your sibling slowly walks toward you once again, watching like he’s just waiting for you to say anything. Do anything.
But you’re a complete statue because all you can think about is the horror of something happening and the relief that nothing happened all at once.
Was Yoongi too scared to mention that part? Is this why he was holding back and shaking every time he reached out to touch you? Even this morning, he was so…
You’ve never seen him like that. Is this why?
Your mind is swirling and crashing, overlapping each passing thought and scream running through your head. “I’m so sorry,” you hitch out, “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Didn’t wanna scare you,” he sighs out. Putting both hands on his hips, your brother stops feet away, visibly still shook as he pierces wooden planks with his stare. “But he pulled it right before Yoongi… and if it weren’t…Fuck.”
Burns flare and slice through your eyes when he has to pause. What is he trying to say? Pulled what?
Before Yoongi what?
Your brother continues, and your throat tightens. “If it weren’t for some random ass sirens, I… Things could’ve been so different.”
What the fuck is happening. What the hell are you hearing?
“It was probably dumb as fuck. But I was so fucking angry,” he grits out, watery eyes crushed looking your way. “So fucking mad at how he was talking about you, I.. Walked right up to him and told him to fuck off.”
You can’t even breathe.
“I still feel it,” he quietly adds, fingers pressed against his side. “Right here.”
“Fuck,” you finally choke out, eyes on fucking fire.
“But all I knew was to keep you all safe,” he says, with hardened resolve and a wobbly chin. “And that’s exactly what I did. I did that shit, even if that meant—”
Tears fling out of your eyes, flowing hot down your cheeks because you wouldn’t want any of them to go out that way. Nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened and yet your body is acting as if something did and it hurts.
Your brother is there as soon as you crumple forward, letting you bury your head in his chest and sob your heart out. For him, for his friends, and for all the time you had with the man you love so, so dearly.
If anything happened to your brother before you came clean… If anything happened before you and Yoongi could even…
Suddenly, you feel equal weights of guilt. For running out on your brother. And for almost walking out on Yoongi.
You decide an apology is in order for both of them, and all the understanding in the world for Yoongi’s frosted demeanor as soon as you get him alone again.
And you are one hundred percent going to tell your brother everything once he’s back.
The tears cannot stop, and you’re sure you are crying unimpeded in a pressed and primmed suit. “I’m so sorry,” you keep repenting like a prayer. “This is all my fault.”
“No—”
“You almost—”
“Hey, stop.” He yanks you back, both of your faces soaked with saltwater. “What did I say before? I threw the first swing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But it led to all this, I just.. I just feel so fucking stupid.”
“Don’t. Hey, look at me.” Firm but gentle, he holds you at arm’s length, forcing you to face him. “Maybe we’re both stupid, but you weren’t the idiot. I was.”
You feel so many conflicting things in your soul.
What would you have done if Yoongi was in critical condition? What would you have done differently if your brother was instead? Are they the same? Are the two situations really so different anymore?
No they aren’t they aren’t they aren’t.
“Please don’t do that again,” you shake out. “Even if it was for me, if I ever lost you, I...”
“You know I can’t promise anything.” He furrows his brows when you eye him with anger and sadness. “But nothing like that is happening again. Especially with the same dudes.”
“Okay.”
A vicious tornado of emotions sends your whole body into agonizing pain. This isn’t what you expected at all, and it’s causing your limbs to lock at the bends. Too many scenarios are jangling about yet you can’t ask for specifics because that will just make it even more real.
A nightmare is somehow better once you know it ends with you waking up. “I’m… gonna need some time to process everything.”
“I know. And I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but… You deserve to know the things I get into.”
Ah.
The irony is not lost on you.
“At least, if they involve you. We learned our lesson. You were right to tell us off.”
God. You feel numb.
“Thanks,” you murmur, suddenly immensely tired. “I think I need more sleep.”
A blaring honk sounds outside the house, and you both flinch at the noise.
And your throat burns at the way your brother instinctively swept you behind his back.
When you realize what it is, you know what has to come next.
And he’s the first to react as he turns to face you again, “Alright. I’m heading out, just remember to go get my baby when she’s fixed, yeah?”
“Do you have to go?”
Wait.
The question seems to startle him as much as it does you.
How did you blurt it right out before even registering the words? Why does your heart clench at the sight of those eyes looking so pained?
Why does everything feel so shaky within these walls that were always your home?
“I do,” he says, voice tight. “I’m sorry.”
And why the fuck do you feel sad he’s leaving?
“No, no, it’s.. Of course you have to.” You can’t help the lump in your throat from bobbing, the regret in your limbs as they barely move at your side. “I dunno why I asked, I guess I just..”
There’s no response to your sniffle.
“Sorry for yelling,” you squeak out. “I just feel really queasy.”
For a lot more reasons than one.
“We all made it out,” your brother whispers. “That’s what matters.”
“Will you… Will you at least try to be back for the party?”
The man swallows with his brows knit tight, then attempts to crack the tiniest smile. “You know I will. That’s my guy.”
“Okay.” You nod, sniffling again. After what he just told you? You know he’ll do anything for the ones he loves. “See you there.”
Your brother rubs a comforting palm over your head before turning, heading for the door and grabbing his leather duffle.
When he stops to glance at you one more time, you give a little wave of your hand before watching the door click shut.
Chest caving as you collapse to the ground in tears.
—
—
The need to call Yoongi burns so harshly your fingers damn near set your top aflame.
But he’s at work, and you can’t fuck things up right when you’re approaching the finish line. You almost did with your brother, and that gave you twelve heart attacks in the span of minutes.
Still. Your chest aches so much that a thirteenth could very well be approaching. You don’t even realize you’re bracing the hallway wall for support until you try to stand, back sore and aching from bending so far for so long.
What did your brother mean to say about Yoongi? What did that coward pull on them? Do you even want to know what happened?
Fighting back tears, you reach down for your phone, shakily typing out a message only to erase it. Then again. And again.
And again.
Giving up, you forcefully swallow all your worries, cringing at the bitterness of the unknown and the burnt molasses of hidden truths.
It’s going to be okay. No matter what you think or imagine in your head, they made it out, they made it out, they are all alive.
That’s the only reason you can move forward, each step getting you from your room. To your bathroom.
And back again.
—
—
After showering, you feel lighter and refreshed, though the soreness between your legs has yet to leave.
But you wouldn’t want it any other way, as it’s another reminder of Yoongi’s apparent brush with survival. His broken living room spurned the creation of your bond, your devotion to him as he confessed before you gave him your utmost trust in his sheets.
The end is so close. As soon as this week is over, you’ll rip the last bit of peel from your pair of tangerines, baring all truths to your brother and facing the consequences.
Finally ready, you head to your car, opening your text threads with a plan: start slow.
Start with something that can be interpreted neutrally if anyone saw it on his phone screen, especially if your headstrong ex is in the room.
You [12:31pm]: how are you feeling?
Yoongi [12:34pm]: 1 Attachment
You close your door with brows furrowed.
Yoongi’s at the hospital?
That’s not what you expected at all.
Your chest swells with relief knowing he’s there, but you also wanna make sure he’s feeling okay. Especially his mental state after whatever the fuck your brother just dropped on you before leaving.
Goddamn, that’s going to gnaw at your brain until you find the right time and right amount of courage to ask about it. Because it’s very possible Yoongi won’t tell you.
Because it’s probably something he knows you won’t like.
Fuck.
You [12:34pm]: Loved an Attachment
You [12:34pm]: thank you for listening🤍 still sore?
Yoongi [12:35pm]: Yeah, but not bad. Just there.
Wait. He’s not at the studio. That means you can—
Yoongi: Outgoing Call
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you slowly say as you pull out into the street. “I’m driving now so this is easier.”
“Course. You going to Tae’s?”
“Maybe. I’m going to Yuri’s first.” You swallow, realizing that you didn’t tell him about what you let slip before driving over. “I.. Told her. About you.”
There’s a little bit of silence on the line, just some adjustments and muffled speaker sounds. “Sorry, just writing this down. What’s wrong with that?”
You huff through your nose. Gotta be those patient forms that always take forever to fill out. “Oh. Just more and more people knowing, is all.”
“Everyone’s gonna know eventually.”
You hold back a small smile. Because he’s right. “Yeah. I’m just tired of this feeling.”
“Like you’re hiding something.”
It’s your turn for silence. He doesn’t know how accurately that was played out today. The only answer you can provide is a curt, “Exactly.”
“Same.”
Wings beat around your heart again.
He wants this. Yoongi really, really wants this. And years ago, that outcome wouldn’t have even crossed your mind as an option.
“Thank you for going, baby.”
“The guys made me.”
You hum. “Which ones.”
After a pause, you hear a puff of amusement. “All of them at some point today, actually.”
All of them? Does that include your brother? Did they talk about the trip already?
Your laugh is bittersweet. “Well. Glad to know you can be forced by everyone else except me.”
“Hey, I was already gonna go because of you!” Yoongi quietly retorts, and you giggle at the pout in his words. “Just wanted to get a headstart on work first.”
You were right. He really does wanna go all out for his musical endeavors.
It’s extremely admirable, and wildly attractive, but it does come to a point. “As much as I love your passion, old man, I wanna keep you upright.”
He laughs soft into the line, and you think you can listen to that specific sound on an infinite loop. “That’s fair.”
“How long is it gonna take, you think?”
“Dunno. But I’ll keep myself busy until I’m out.”
Of course he will. You don’t doubt he won’t waste any time. Didn’t he bring journals in his backpack? You wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote ten thousand songs before being called in. “Just call me if you need anything, please?”
“Of course, babe.”
“Thank you,” you say with utmost sincerity. “If only my brother would be less stubborn and get checked, too.”
“He’ll probably do it once he gets there.”
“Did you convince him?”
“Nah. But once he knows I did, he’ll do it.”
“Figures.” You scoff. “Okay, I’m almost there. Let me know how it goes.”
“K. Bye, doll.”
You didn’t ask him what went down. But it’s not the time nor place, and you have plenty of chances this week to figure out when that would be—if at all.
“Talk soon.”
—
—
For a normally bustling household, Yuri’s house is quiet.
So it’s not shocking when you walk into the kitchen and see all your friends glance your way, slowly vacating their chairs with eyes never leaving your face. Even Reia is on high alert.
Did Yuri tell her? Did Yuri tell anyone else?
No. She’s a talker and loves spilling, but she promised. And when she promises something, you know you can trust her to keep it.
It’s what pours emotion in your voice as you meekly greet, “Hey, guys—”
A crushing hug closes your throat. Yuri’s the one that gets to you first, with Reia and Dominique waiting their turns to offer you healing, relieved embraces.
“What happened?”
“Scared us half to death.”
Dom puts you at arm’s length to give a once over, noting your face rubbed raw and eyes still a little bloodshot. Thankfully, her pupils hold more concern than disappointment. “You good?”
Your eyes wobble alongside your smile, and you think it’s enough proof. “More than that,” you still decide to whisper, and your heart beats again at her reaction.
“Thank god. I was ready to kick your ass if you weren’t.”
Heading up to Yuri’s room, you all wait until the door is swung back before mounting her canopy bed, sitting in a tight circle as you divulge everything.
Well. Almost everything.
You tell them that Yoongi is the one you’ve been seeing, how you went to check on him last night in a panic, and the terrifying reason why. When you mention the fight after the basketball game, all three of your friends erupt in questions, and you have to assure them everything turned out okay. Honestly, you also do this to assure yourself, too.
“So… Your brother’s just fine with all of this?” Reia asks, not noticing the tick of Dom’s jaw.
“Well,” you start with a higher pitch, earning a pair of groans. “He doesn’t exactly know yet—”
“Yup. He’s gonna murder him.”
“Yeah, should we say our condolences now or..”
“How long has this been going on?” Reia fires off another question that digs into your chest. “Was he the one you were seeing the whole time?”
“Yes,” you admit with a sigh. “I should’ve told you guys from the beginning, but. The whole thing just felt so delicate. But! We just started making things official recently, so..”
Dom turns your way. “Official how?”
Well. Here goes everything.
With a shaky breath, and lingering feelings from the time it happened, you reveal with watery eyes, “Yoongi… Told me he loves me.”
Both Yuri and Reia react in yelps, Dom’s gaze lowering as the girls reach to grab your hands.
Wait. What’s going on with her? She’s the one that knows the most, she’s the one that covered for you all those months ago. She has to be the one that is the least surprised at all this.
Blinking, you note to confront her about it later. Right now, you’re too focused on trying not to cry as your friends tumble out questions and support,
“He said it? Did you say it first or did he?”
“How did it happen! Oh, I’m so happy for you, babe—”
“Thank—thank you, Yuri,” you squeeze out as she hugs you close. “I couldn’t believe it, but he just.. Said it. We weren’t even doing anything, I was just.. Looking up what injuries he could have..”
And he confessed in the most Yoongi fashion he could have.
Looking back, it shouldn’t shock you at all. He’s always found ways to sweep you off your proverbial feet, so why would a confession plucked from the heavens be any different?
She lets you go before wiping her eyes, Reia and even Dom now sporting watery pupils, too.
“As much as I’m upset at you for not telling us, I’ve never been so happy for you.” When Yuri’s features crease in another sob, you sniffle along with the rest. “It’s been so long since you… And you really.. Fuck.”
You know what she’s trying to say, and the realization has your throat constricting so tight.
It’s been forever since you’ve had something like this, someone like this. When you and Jungkook were together, you told him that you loved him before he broke it off.
Sure, you bought the rings together, but he never uttered those words until years after when it didn’t even matter. And all your relationships after his were complete and utter bullshit, so you don’t think you ever even heard those three words and knew them to be true.
Yoongi was the first to ever say them so sincerely.
And that fact makes your ducts burn and burn.
And when Yuri finally speaks, it breaks the dam holding your real deluge back,
“I can’t think of anyone else that deserves to be loved more than you.”
All at once, everything streams out as you hunch forward. The pain of everything you’ve endured, the hopelessness of knowing you’d most likely end up alone, the excruciating prospect of a future that you never deemed bright, or peaceful, or comforting.
And to think that even this man could’ve been snatched away from you in a snap? Even more tears overlap with the ones you’re shedding, and you can’t even reach out to hug all three beautiful, angelic souls surrounding you with tight arms and sobs because your limbs lock at all bends.
It’s the exact release you need. All your friends supporting you, all the pent up anxiety of last night and today, the truth setting itself free in some capacity—all in the comfort of a plushie-laden bed you only doubted yourself in last time.
Everything’s gonna be alright. It has to be. You’re gonna fight for the ones you love, even if a war between them is inevitable.
It takes a few minutes of heavy silence for you all to separate, swiping and rubbing tears while letting out happy sniffles.
When you thank them for being understanding, they assure you it’s okay. And when you say you’re going to tell your brother soon, a force from the doorway has all of you leaping from lilac sheets,
“Tell him what?”
Jia stands firm with a laundry basket at her hip, and Yuri scoffs at her older sister for barging in. “A knock would’ve been nice!”
Fuck!
You can’t tell Jia of all people. If you spill anything about Yoongi, she’s one hundred percent going to tell your brother. They’re the same age, and run in pretty tight circles, so of course you are not going to risk it.
But you can tell her something else you’re going to tell your older sibling, so you fire out a half-truth,
“Tell him not to pick any other fights that could get him killed.”
Jia’s eyes zoom to your wrecked face, and she drops the laundry with haste before asking, “What happened? When? Tell me now.”
Huh. Maybe your brother has a type, if he’s still into Jia like he said before.
You feel a little spark in your chest as you let her know they all got in a scuffle after the basketball game, and another pang as she immediately abandons the room and clothes with a fierce declaration,
“I’m gonna kill them myself!”
“Don’t worry, I already hounded my brother!” You call out after her, sighing as Yuri shakes her head with a smile. “She gets like that when she’s really worried, huh.”
“Yeah..” Your friend leans to look around you, noticing the basket left alone on the ground. “And if she’s super fired up, she drops everything and doesn’t stop until it’s handled. Clearly.”
Maybe both older siblings really are similar.
The firestorm of an interruption seemed to break the tension in the room, with all of you finally relaxing and catching up. When they ask you questions, you answer what you can.
And when you divulge information that has your ears burning, their squeals and yells give you whole new reasons to live.
—
—
After a very comforting lunch Yuri’s mom cooked, you head to the bathroom when your phone suddenly vibrates through your palm.
Huh? That’s weird. You expect the name on your screen to be Taehyung, not Yoongi.
Not that it’s a bad thing. You’ve been waiting to hear from him, so this is a pleasant surprise.
Closing the door to the guest bathroom, you gaze at the calming sage decor with a smile. “Hi, how did it—”
“You’re coming over later, right?”
Oh, shit. Is he okay?
“Yes, baby,” you respond with a soothing lilt, ears perked and body on high alert.
Does he think you aren’t anymore? You both decided on the plans earlier. Surely he knows you’d never just flake on him. “I’m coming back once you’re done with work, remember?”
There’s an uncomfortable pause on the line, which makes your boyfriend’s next question jab you so far in the lungs you can’t breathe,
“…Can it be now?”
Shit.
Just like Jia earlier, you drop every plan you have to the wayside. You’re sure that Taehyung will understand, and you already got through the biggest conversation you needed to with your friends.
“Of course,” you whoosh out. “Lemme just say bye and I’ll go.”
“Take your time.” A small shuffling interrupts. “It’ll take me a bit to get back.”
“Okay. See you there.”
The strained urgency in his voice makes your hair stand on end, so you vacate the bathroom to inform the girls that you gotta go—but not without a quick head tilt towards Dom, who follows you outside and into the afternoon sun.
—
—
You wait until you’re next to your car on the street, turning with a concerned expression and jittery nerves, “What’s up with you? Did I do something wrong?”
Turns out, you read Dominique correctly. Her jaw locks before loosening, and it reminds you of the time she confronted you about Yoongi before. God, how much has changed since then. That feels like ages and ages ago.
“It’s not about you,” your best friend clears the air and the tightness in your shoulders. “I’m just.. Glad he came around.”
“Yoongi?” When Dom nods, you blink. “Wait, what?”
“At your house that night.. After he left your room, we had—I dunno, a heart-to-heart.” She sighs, flicking braids over her shoulder. You note to compliment the beads she chose this time, because they remind you of summer and simpler times. “I might’ve pressured him a bit, and.. I think he wanted to tell me that he loved you. All the way back then.”
Something in your heart stutters, and you can only repeat your last question, “What?”
“Yeah. Something about needing to do something first,” she continues, holding your gaze with perfect brows furrowed in sunlight. “But I could tell he was damn serious about whatever it was. And if he was willing to do it for you? I let it go.”
Your mind whirls.
Yoongi was already in love with you back then? Is that why he needed to let you go? To deal with whatever he had to do?
One side of you breaks thinking he had to go through all that alone; the other side is screaming at his past self for not even giving you a choice. What did he go through? What did he have to do?
Now you really have to see him. Immediately.
“Thank you, Dom,” you rush out while opening your door. “I’m just happy it’s over.”
“The hell it’s not.” Shooting you a glare that heats the oncoming breeze, she reminds, “It’s not over until your brother knows. And based on everything that’s happened? That conversation is not gonna go over well.”
A dark, simmering boil starts in your stomach, and you’re already feeling queasy again. Tightening your door handle, you gulp hard. “I know.”
“Trust me, I’m happy for you both. I am.” Both hands find her hips as she levels a gaze that you really, really don’t enjoy. “But I’m gonna be honest, I think this is gonna ruin their friendship for good.”
Both of your lungs clamp shut.
“Please don’t say that,” you beg, “I’m gonna fight for all of us. I will.”
“I don’t doubt that, babe. Hey, uh uh, come here.” Reaching out, she gives you a tight hug just when you feel fragile again.
“Listen to me. I don’t doubt that,” she says into your shoulder. “I’m just here to be realistic. Just don’t be shocked if that’s how it goes. We’ll be here for you no matter what, too.”
“Okay,” you say with a scrunched face into her scent. God, she always smells so good, and it’s almost enough to calm you down. Almost almost almost. “Thank you. But I’m not giving up.”
“That’s my girl.” She squeezes you one more time. “I love you.”
With eyes searing over, you choke and grip her tighter. “I love you, too.”
—
—
Yoongi’s door warms your back as you wait for him to show.
But there’s a good chance it can just be your volcanic anxiety.
Ever since your arrival, you’ve paced, you’ve gnawed on your lips, you’ve had to shake the nerves out of your hands.
And over and over, you’ve strained your neck to look for your favorite cat, because you could sincerely use even a glimpse of her right now.
While she doesn’t end up showing, Yoongi rounds the nearest corner minutes after your last desperate scan.
Fuck, he’s so handsome.
Even now, as he simply walks toward you with a backpack slung over his shoulder, you watch with undying yearning to feel those flowing bangs over his forehead. You’d even settle for a single touch of his cheeks, one of them currently sporting a thin bandage.
But the closer Yoongi gets, the quicker your admiration morphs into concern. There’s a deep bend in his brows that you can’t decipher, and his fist is balled pretty tight.
Seriously, what happened? He looks so troubled that you slowly push off the doorway to ask,
“Baby, what’s—”
A bag hits the ground before you’re swooped into a kiss so electric your lips spark.
Him. Him, him, and more him. For the love of everything you don’t understand what’s happening but you kiss Yoongi back with everything you have, arms slinging around his strong shoulders and tugging him closer because he clearly needed this.
And fuck if you didn’t need it just as much. Screw it if anyone sees you. This is all you want and you’ll stay right here until he pulls away.
When he finally does, both of you swallow to catch your breaths, and your soul glimmers when his forehead meets yours.
“Hi, baby,” you whisper to his exhales. “Missed you, too.”
Silent, your lover kisses your forehead before hugging you close, and you’re more sure of your prediction than ever. Something is bothering him.
He doesn’t look worse, at least. But there’s clearly something off and he’s not hiding it. His lack of words is loud enough.
“Let’s go inside,” you quietly suggest. “I would’ve gone in already but I don’t have a key.”
He nods, fishing out his keyring to let you both inside.
When you set your bags down and slip off your shoes, it’s only seconds before you’re softly pulled into a hug again, surprising yet so, so welcoming.
Even only after a few hours, you’ve missed the fuck out of him. Which makes all of this an outright dream.
“Sorry,” Yoongi finally murmurs against your shoulder. “I just…”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” You stroke a hand along his hair, massaging his scalp and loving how soft it feels. The windswept strands fall back into place as you keep running your fingers through. “Did you at least get your appointment?”
“Yeah, I did.” He buries his face further. “Nothing bad. Just can’t lift anything heavy for a couple days.”
“Good. That’s easy to manage,” you whisper back into his tee, feeling the chill of lingering air conditioning and body warmth all at once. “Is something else bothering you?”
“Not exactly.” Whatever that means. “I’ll tell you about it later. Just wanted this, and you.”
Oh. That’s…
“I’m here now, love,” you assure with a melting heart, wondering what happened to cause this behavior.
Is it because of last night? Or something that happened today? You’re anxious all over again, but from the way Yoongi’s acting, your worries are second to his. “Have you eaten yet?”
He shakes his head, only pulling you closer with not a word from his lips.
And from this point on, you make a silent vow to yourself. Whatever Yoongi needs, you’re going to take care of him.
No matter what, these next few days are all about him—a minuscule sacrifice in comparison to everything he’s done for you, whether you knew about it or not.
“I’ll make you something then. Come on.”
When you walk, you slip your hand down his arm to hold his hand, and your lead into his kitchen is short.
“Any requests?” You cheerfully ask as you spare a smile over your shoulder. “We can do… Something light…”
Only to see him staring back with nothing but a lingering sense of longing.
Okay.
You need to get to the bottom of this now.
Stopping right over linoleum, you leave no room for arguments, “Yoongi. Tell me what’s wrong.”
He blinks before his gaze meets the floor. So you’re confused when he simply, quietly..
Laughs?
“It’s not that something’s wrong,” he slowly starts, a shy smile carving his features. “For the first time in my life, nothing’s wrong.”
Your heart beats extra loud.
“But it’s too much to explain right now.” His eyes rise to meet yours. “Just know that I’m so in love with you.”
Oh.
“And I want you to know that every day I live.”
Fuck.
Your body responds before you can say anything, lips connecting to remove any need for speech. The knowledge of them all staring death in the face last night makes this confession sear your insides, and you can’t help but kiss him like you’ll never get to again.
Yanking him back, you spin on your heel until he flings into the kitchen, clutching your wrists before gripping your jaw with both hands.
His mouth heats on yours, his glasses the only barrier between your skin. Everything sizzles from your head to your toes, and you both bang into a countertop before—
“Fuck, ouch.”
“Shit, you okay?”
Yoongi rubs his side with one eye pinched shut, a corner of his teeth present. “Yeah. Worth it, though.”
“Be serious,” you reprimand. Looks like he’s gonna have to take it easy, which means no going at it like animals until he’s on the mend. “No more until you feel better, yeah?”
“Says who?”
“Babe.”
His deadly pout almost breaks your resolve. “Fine.”
But you can wait. You’re sure it won’t take long, and for this man? You’ll wait however long you need to.
Besides, there’s plenty of things you can do in the meantime that don’t require running into hard objects.
“Good. Now let’s…” You turn away to get started before you’re held, and pulled back into yet another embrace.
What the hell is happening today? Your lungs and your melting pile of a brain can only take so much. It’s beautifully overwhelming how Yoongi can’t seem to let you go, because you’re the one that always loses control.
This whole time, it’s been you that can’t hold yourself back.
So now? Being on the other side? You don’t think you ever want him to restrain himself again.
This time, he moves slow. Sensuously slow, and it would occur to you that he’s finding a very cheeky loophole to your plan if you weren’t so hazy-eyed.
Whatever Yoongi’s doing, you won’t stop him.
Your back touches a counter before Yoongi cages you in, and your lips mold together as perfectly as his body does with yours. Your unhurried strokes match his, and your minds communicate without a single word.
There’s yearning still ever present. But there’s comfort in abundance, and a whole new level of need.
After he pulls away, you can visibly see him drink you in from head to toe.
“You know.. I’m good holding off on all the other shit.” Pulling you in, his lips curve as he confidently declares, “But I’m never gonna stop kissing you.”
His hands, his lips, his words. They all have healing powers, you’re so sure of it. If Yoongi hasn’t yet realized his unending pain has blossomed into a safe haven, you need to let him know no matter what,
“Good.”
There’s still a pining in his eyes, but he lets you free, hand skirting your hip before he walks to his room. “Gonna change then I’ll help.”
“You don’t have to, baby,” you say as you struggle to catch your breath. “I got it.”
Three minutes later, he’s chopping an onion anyway.
But you’re loving how serene everything feels with the two of you prepping and dicing, thumps of knives on wood intertwining in sound before you laugh at his crying over the pesky vegetable. Maybe if he wore contacts instead of specs, he’d be better off.
Not that his choice of eyewear is what you’re complaining about. But those glasses paired with the cream tees he’s been wearing? There will be hell to pay as soon as you get a chance at revenge.
Your pot is set to boil for a bit, so you finally rest against the counter and start a timer on his microwave. “Go ahead,” you gesture to your very handsome cooking partner. “You can sit now.”
“Huh? We’re not done yet.”
“Oh.” Blinking, you tilt your head in confusion because you could’ve sworn you heard him yawn a couple times. “You aren’t tired?”
“I am,” he says before squeezing his eyes, rapid blinks to follow. “But I’m fine here.”
You toss and turn the food around, sprinkling a little more seasoning and hearing the bubbles and fizzes. When you stir a little more, a sudden thought occurs, halting your movements and spinning you around,
“Are you staying there to watch my ass.”
Yoongi’s slow smile gives everything away, but he also makes up for the blatant staring.
“Can’t deny that’s one of the things.” Pushing off the sink, he stands right next to you, slotting a hand behind your neck and angling you for a kiss. “But I meant it earlier. I just…”
You’re completely silent as you watch him slide his eyes from your face to the sizzling food. Whatever he’s thinking about, you’re gonna give him all the room to talk.
“Just like being where you are.”
How you went from almost running out of his door to here, you aren’t quite sure. But you’re grateful for that split second of him deciding to fight for the two of you instead of against, because you really were going to leave.
And you may have taken much, much longer to even try going back.
Your voice is barely heard over the aromatic smell and fizzle, “Good thing I like having you around.” When he smiles again, you let out a breath of a giggle, going back to shuffling the pan around and tilting your head to the fridge. “I put some fruit in there if you wanna eat that, too.”
“I’m down.”
“K.”
Your food is ready soon enough, and the two of you eat while talking about easy topics. Like work and your workplace dynamics, what Yoongi’s team has been working on at the studio.
At one point, your curiosity about the album release party grows from something he says. “Speaking of. The party’s on Friday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I thought so,” you deflate, setting your bowl down on the table. “Sorry he can’t go.”
“Huh?”
Your body stills. “Wait. Did he not say anything? About his trip being extended?”
So much for nothing in his life being wrong. From the lost look on his face, you may have given him another reason to fold back in on himself. “No.. No, he didn’t.”
Both of you sit in silence.
This could be nothing. Right? That means your brother is confident he can make it so there’s no point in telling Yoongi he’s gonna miss it. Or maybe he’s not trying hard enough and then not being able to say it to his face?
“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “I thought he told you.”
“It’s okay.” Clearly it’s not. “Not much to do about it now.”
“Yoongi… What if he knows?” At your own question, you stiffen, curling into a proverbial ball. Fear and the sick backfire of fibbing has your mouth going drier than desert air. “What if he actually knows?”
Setting down his chopsticks, Yoongi looks your way, eyes unreadable behind his specs. “If he did, do you think he’d leave us alone?”
He’s got a point. “Guess not.”
“Mm.” Flicking his eyes to the window, he adjusts uncomfortably in his chair. “And I dunno if I mentioned this, but.. He thinks I got back with my ex.”
“Fuck, really?”
“That’s the real reason why he hasn’t been talking to me. Maybe he thinks she’s gonna be there on Friday.”
“Oh.” Your shoulders sag, and sag. Not owning up to your relationship is one thing; Yoongi having to dwell in his previous relationship is another. “Is that… worse?”
“Kinda.” Yoongi’s eyes fall. “Much worse.”
“Shit.” Reaching across wood, you close your hand around his fingers for support. It’s the only thing you can think to do. At least, it’s what you would want if you were in his shoes. “I think you should tell him she won’t be.”
A million seconds later, Yoongi thankfully agrees. “Yeah, I will.”
You feel better. Somewhat. At least a little less nauseous about the possibility of your brother knowing.
But it still sucks knowing that he’s actively avoiding Yoongi because of an ex he used to have.
How bad was it back then if this is the case? What exactly happened? Is this why Yoongi went radio silent on you for weeks?
It seems like he doesn’t even wanna talk about her. So you won’t pry just yet, as much as you wanna know every single thing she’s done wrong so you can hound her through every timeline in existence.
Instead, you talk about a much better subject,
“We should feed my cat now.”
And you quickly laugh at the saucy glint in Yoongi’s eyes.
—
—
Everything is set where it needs to be. Sugar’s food and water fill their respective bowls, your shoulder leans into Yoongi’s good side, and his arm rests around your back as he’s propped up by his banged up doorway.
You remember the first time you saw him lean against the wood like this. Only that time, you were a shell of a girl, waiting with shaky breaths and shaken confidence to hear his response to your inappropriate request.
Who would’ve thought that you’d be on the same side as him all these months later? In his arms, resting a head on his warm chest?
When you let out a short chuckle, Yoongi turns to your smile. “Hmm?”
“Nothing,” you wisp out. “Just thinking about us.”
His fingers press into your side a fraction more, and you can feel him lift his head again. “Me, too.”
Umm.
You can say things like that. He isn’t allowed!
You’re about to set some one-sided rules before your gift pops out of the bushes a few feet away.
“My baby!” you quietly call, leaving Yoongi’s side to crouch down. “Come here, love. You hungry?”
She cautiously makes her way over, sniffing your hand when you leave it outstretched. After careful consideration, the little one nudges your palm, letting you glide fingers down her back as she approaches her bowls.
“You’re so tiny,” you observe with slight pity. “We’ll get you well fed in no time—”
“Hey, Sugar! Oh, is this her? She’s gorgeous, no wonder!”
Huh? Sugar?
Who else knows the cat’s name already?
Your neck almost strains when you look up to see who’s talking. When you notice an older lady donning a really comfy, fluffy robe, you feel like it looks super familiar before you stand.
“Hi,” you greet before introducing yourself, extending your hand and shaking the woman’s soft, delicate fingers. “Sorry if we were too loud.”
“Call me Miss Dion. And you weren’t too loud this time, sweetie,” she says with a wink, glancing down at the kitty eating what you laid out. “Was just comin’ out to water my plants so it’s good to see you’re here, too. Looks like he finally got some sense back in that head of his.”
“I’m standing right here, you know.”
“Oh, I know!”
Back? How long has she known about you? Do her and Yoongi actually converse regularly? Their banter is… Really adorable.
It’s making you fall even more in love with the man biting his cheek in amusement.
Wait.
Is Yoongi Sugar?
That is so fucking cute you could cry.
“I’m back to take care of this guy,” you explain with a head tilt. “And the little one, of course.”
It’s when you say this that Miss Dion notices the bandages on Yoongi’s face, concern pushing down her brows. “What happened to you, young man?”
“Nothing to worry about.”
“You sure? I got some ointment in my kitchen somewhere—”
“It’s all good—”
“We’ll take it,” you cut him off, not looking but feeling his stare on your face. “How much do we owe you?”
“Oh, don’t you worry about that.” With a snuff at Yoongi and a smile your way, Miss Dion heads inside to fetch a bottle.
In the meantime, you give your lover a quiet stare before bending down to run your hands over soft fur.
“Papa Sugar is gonna need that so he can’t argue,” you coo to your cat, cheekily ignoring Yoongi’s sputtering puff of air above your head.
“Papa Sugar? Really?”
You glance up to his smile with a mischievous one of your own. “What, you wanna be Sugar Daddy instead?”
The swirl in your belly is instant. Because Yoongi can only look out into the distance, biting his lip and failing to hide his grin.
Sigh. If only he didn’t have those injuries across his face. You’d push him back into the door and slam it shut if it was any other day.
Patience, patience, patience.
Those hits aren’t gonna heal with just one round of gauze.
When you have to replace the cotton patches, at least you’ll have something to help.
—
—
It’s not until you’re about to tuck in for the night that Yoongi approaches your side of the bed. Judging by the headphones slung around his neck, he’s about to work, so you assume he’s just coming to give you a kiss goodnight.
But after he does exactly that, he asks you a question that warms your chest,
“Where’s your keys.”
“In there,” you motion to the nearest wall, bag propped right under his windowsill. “Inside pocket, I think.”
Yoongi bends with a prolonged grunt, slowly rummaging until he finds your jangling keyring with its charms. When he grabs it, he silently sits on the edge up against your stomach, body heat permeating your tee while he fiddles with the clasps.
God, you’re so in trouble. You know exactly what he’s doing.
Unlike the last time he offered you complete access to his place, this time he didn’t even hesitate. And the way he secures a key amongst the loop, it’s his silent way of cementing permanence.
That’s not another key for you to borrow.
Because that key is yours.
—
—
continued in angel, pt. 2
pitstop inbox before pt2!! | join the server!
a/n: holy crap we're doing it we are actually back in the main storyline?! how do we feel right now because i am over the damn moon diving into this story again. here's a slight pitstop before you make your way over to part two (THE CONTINUATION IS IN A REBLOG!) so take a breather before heading into the resttttttt
++ feedback box:
⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like!
⇥ here!
++ more links:
⇥ masterlist
⇥ three tangerines masterlist
a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it yet, so we'll keep it goin!
note goal: since we're back in main storyline, upping the goal! 1,000 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tan14 will be dropped as soon as it's done! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
title: angel (continuation) (m)
pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f)
series: masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken pt. 1 | broken pt. 2 | fugue pt. 1 | fugue pt. 2 | fugue pt. 3 | fugue pt. 4 | angel
explicit warnings: cursing, thigh riding, cowgirl, oral (m rec), naughty studio time(??), couch sex, rough sex, giving yoongi the business, bold as fuck reader, choking, spanking, penetrative sex, kissing deserves to be here too lol, alexa play no hands by waka flocka, deep throating, hair/head tugging, nipple play, yoongi in that gd tank, yoongi in those gd glasses, teasing, titty fucking hello!!!!, stripping while he watches…. yeah, missionary, sub!3tanyoongi?????, scratching, multiple orgasms, protected sex, emotional sex, good god they’re so hot i’m blushing
—
—
For the next few days, you’re at Yoongi’s every moment you’re free. Other than work that you have diligently not taken off, the two of you have alone time most of the week.
And it’s more than perfect.
You cook meals, talk about anything that doesn’t involve recent incidents, and Yoongi even lets you watch as he creates stunning instrumentals at his bedroom desk. There seems to be three projects that he’s cycling through, and one of them sounds achingly beautiful even though it’s just a series of hums.
As far as physical work, you do anything that requires heavy lifting—even hauling groceries inside.
Despite Yoongi’s many groans of protest, you tell him it’s no big deal at all. You want to help as much as you can, if merely to make up for all that time you could’ve helped him for three months.
It’s right after your solo grocery run that he follows you into his kitchen with his thousandth resigned sigh,
“Babe, you really don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t have to, baby,” you whisper, setting everything down. When you start unloading, Yoongi stops your arms, soothing the divots left by many grocery bags. “But I want to. So let me? Please?”
You get why he’s not exactly okay with the situation. If you had to depend on him for everything, it would make you upset, too.
But you want to show him you’re here for him no matter what. If that bothers him, he’ll just have to keep dealing with it.
Yoongi rests his forehead against yours. “You’re too good for me.”
“And you’re too handsome for me.” Flicking his chest, you pretend to be so very disappointed as you start taking out cans and produce. “Who said you could walk around here wearing that?”
That stupid tank hugs every bit of him just right. You’re half jealous of the way it fits on him, and half in constant need to rip it off every waking second.
Even the way you reacted when he first stepped out with it caused an immediate burst of cheek-raised laughter, and you proceeded to glare at his grin every time he got close.
Which is probably, frustratingly, exactly why he keeps wearing them.
“It’s just a tank!” Yoongi exclaims, laughing when you scoff into the fridge. “What’s with you and these?”
“Don’t even,” you huff. “You know exactly what you’re doing.”
One wink is enough to destroy you. So you keep putting groceries away to avoid more of them.
Fruits go here, veggies in the fridge, cat food in this cabinet, frozen treats in the freezer… Come to think of it, you could do some naughty teasing with those later—
A veiny hand cuts your thoughts, caging you against counters with an ask, “And what am I doing, doll?”
Rhetorical question once again.
This whole week, while neither of you have instigated anything related to sex, Yoongi has tested you multiple times. Whether it be devouring the sight of you in his tees, or kissing along your shoulders after you emerged freshly showered, he has been driving you to the edge every time.
This unashamed, barely restrained side of him is completely new to you, and you’d like to think you’re doing a damn good job of keeping yourself in check.
Because you’ve been wanting to tear him apart until he’s a blithering, writhing mess.
At first, you assumed it’s because of how he’s been looking lately. The shroud that’s been haunting his eyes is completely absent, giving a beautiful shine and a whole new level of attraction.
But as the week has gone by, you’ve realized that it’s something deeper.
It’s the fact that Yoongi’s gone beyond keeping you safe and protecting you, gone way further than just being there for you when you need him.
And he’s doing all this while not compromising his dreams. He’s working hard for what he wants, and encouraging you to do the same with a gentle push only he can provide.
Essentially, Yoongi’s everything you didn’t even know you needed.
And this simple fact is the sole reason you want to take care of him in every single way, including some that will perpetually make you shy when you remember them.
But until he fully tells you he’s ready—which he hasn’t yet—you aren’t giving in. This agonizing monster is being kept at bay with the thinnest string. The tiniest gate. The most miniscule knot.
However.
Your vow to hold yourself back physically doesn’t mean keeping your thoughts to yourself. So you set them free as your eyelids lower,
“Making it really, really hard to leave you alone.”
Chains swing against your chest, conspiring with this demon to make you fold when he annoyingly purrs,
“Good.”
Fuck. Yoongi’s already attractive when he’s not doing anything. So when he does shit like this? When he’s practically begging for you to give in? It takes all of your inner strength to not buckle at the knees.
“Not good,” you parry, breath short and heart rate spiking. “We said to wait until you were ready.”
Goddamn. Your fingers itch to grab at his waist, your core storms with incessant need to ride that beautiful chest.
Mercifully, Yoongi grants you reprieve with a simple hum, sliding his hand off and sauntering away. “Playing hard to break, huh? Not bad.”
Not bad? Your pulse is through the goddamn roof!
“Of course,” you scoff, “I’m not losing to you.”
Laughs pop from around the corner, his absence allowing you to catch your breath and straighten your wobbly legs. “We’ll see about that, baby girl.”
Safe. You didn’t crack and didn’t give much away.
Despite the heated moment ending too soon, your smile stretches incredibly wide.
Yoongi has no idea what he’ll unleash as soon as he’s healed and ready.
You’ll both see about that indeed.
—
—
On Tuesday, your brother’s car is ready, so you head to the dealership in Yoongi’s car and drive back separately to the house.
Once there, Yoongi heads into the house before you video call and show your brother every single detail.
Every. Single. Detail.
“Ugh, she practically looks brand new! Do you really need me to open the passenger door again?”
“Yes! We have to be thorough or I’m getting my money back.”
“God, you’re so cheap,” you huff, leaning into the vehicle and showing him every leather bound surface.
Seriously, they did a really good job. They even cleaned where your brother had all his tiny figures and polaroids and that was always a problem spot. Where did those even go, anyway? “Happy?”
“Maybe. But looks good so far, I’ll look over her again when I’m back.”
Of course. He’s gonna find literally any excuse to say they need to fix more. With his track record, he’ll probably even get a whole new engine from his smooth talk and persistence. “Which will be in two days, right? Friday? On time?”
To your absolute delight, he doesn’t hesitate, sounding even more sure when he responds, “Yeah, I think I can.” When you cheer, your camera shakes like hell as his eye roll stays completely still. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”
Yoongi must have cleared the air surrounding his ex. With a joyful goodbye, you hang up and head right inside to tell him the news.
Turns out, you weren’t the only one holding massive amounts of tension because of this setback. There’s a noticeable change in Yoongi’s eyes, and your heart bleeds knowing his friend’s potential absence had been weighing on him.
He’s the bravest for choosing to have the final conversation with him alone.
There still seems like something is bothering him, though.
And you still don’t know how to ask.
—
—
At least with Taehyung, you can let loose and say whatever you want.
That fact is what allows you to breathe as soon as you pull up to Jimin’s house the next day, scanning the familiar cul-de-sac as you park in his driveway. Forever has passed since you were last here, and you can’t even remember paying a visit during the daytime.
But Tae told you to meet him here, so you’re here.
Food has been laid out across the living room coffee table, but none of it is touched. All you’ve been able to do is take residence on the leather couch, watching as Taehyung gnaws on a fingernail.
“Stop that.”
“Talk to me then.”
So you do.
There’s no hiding with him like you had to with your friends. Thorough, you give him the entire rundown of that stormy night without omission.
Throughout the entire time you talk, your best friend is laser focused. He doesn’t say a single word, and he doesn’t move one fucking muscle as you recount what happened, from the moment you fought with your brother to the excruciating minutes of screaming at Yoongi’s door.
But something you say makes you both flinch.
Because as soon as you mention the broken guitar pieces around his living room, a question zips through the open space,
“What did you just say?”
Your head whips around to see Jimin frozen in the hallway. “Yeah, he, umm. It’s completely gone now, so.. I’m gonna see if I can find him a new one.”
That second part is something you haven’t even told Yoongi yet. It just felt right to admit to the two of them, and you watch as Jimin slowly walks toward you with eyes wide.
Is he okay? Fuck, were you not supposed to say that after all? “Or I can get him something else—”
Toned arms embrace you tight, and you’re flung into confusion as your eyes stare at the ceiling.
“Thank you,” you hear against your head, so soft you may as well have thought it. It’s the kind of gratitude that’s borderline uncomfortable to receive, solely because you feel like you don’t deserve something so full of meaning.
You didn’t do anything except clean up the pieces.
The way Jimin’s thanking you? It’s like you saved Yoongi’s life.
And that’s too much to dwell on right now.
“It’s okay, really,” you respond, timidly reciprocating his hug because you’re still so very puzzled. “Is there something I should know?”
“It’s not my place to say. But everything’s gonna be fine.”
“Okay.” That answer is cryptic as hell. “I just feel bad for throwing it all out. Maybe we could’ve gotten it repaired—”
“No.” Jimin looks you dead in the eyes before putting hands on your head. Then, shocking you to the core, he kisses your forehead before resting there. “If he has you? He’ll be fine.”
“I guess.” Your mood turns melancholic as he slowly steps away. “He’s still pretty bruised from that night. And some of the cuts are deeper than I thought.”
In more ways than one now, you sadly think to yourself. There’s even more things to think about surrounding that guitar. Does it have anything to do with his—
“Yoongi faired better than some of us. Rohan had to get stitches and some of the other guys needed crutches.”
Damn. You don’t doubt that. There’s no way you can completely block out the memories you have of that night. Your brother telling Taehyung to get you out of there. The way they were severely outnumbered. Yoongi refusing to look back at you, and you painfully knowing exactly why.
“I heard about what he did,” you mournfully hitch out. “That guy.”
Jimin stills before Tae looks over at him, eyes wide and unblinking. “What did he do?”
Fuck. Does Taehyung not know about that chilling detail? Shit shit shit, you still don’t know everything yourself, so you can’t even really tell.
Is Jimin about to reveal what your brother and Yoongi left out?
Your wide eyes meet his before you stumble through an answer, “He, uhh.. Umm, he..”
“I’ll tell you later,” Jimin calmly breathes, to which Taehyung shifts his jaw out of quiet anger. “The bottom line is that we all made it out.”
Oh, fuck.
Even Jimin won’t say it?
What the hell went down that night?
No. Focus focus focus on the good. They all made it out, and there’s nothing to worry about anymore. Probably. Dalo guy can kick rocks and perish in the pits of hell for all you care, and Yoongi was able to find himself again. Only the worst is yet to come before the skies are completely clear.
“There’s one more thing.”
Both men turn your way, attentive immediately.
“This time, when my brother comes back…”
Jimin’s eyes fill right up to the brim like yours.
“Yoongi’s gonna tell him everything.”
—
—
But Yoongi still needs to tell you something, too.
Outside in the setting sunlight, you stare at the key in your fingers before determination tightens your grip.
You’re gonna ask about what happened tonight.
And you can’t give up without an answer.
Opening the door, you’re greeted with the faint sound of a song, quickly realizing which one it is and already feeling like an intruder.
“Babe?”
Hopefully he heard you. Just in case he wants to pause it, and just in case it’s a little too personal.
Because that’s the one he’s worked on the least since you’ve been listening in on his sessions. For some reason, it feels like something he’d rather keep close to that beautiful chest.
There’s no response to your yell, so you set your bag down and head to his room. “Last chance,” you joke into the door. “I’m coming in!”
All you see are faint pink and orange hues sprawling across the room. And one passed out head of hair lying across folded arms.
Déjà vu is one heck of a concept.
Things were so different the first time this happened, and you were much more cautious with your heart when it came to this man.
To think that you’d now take a bullet for him without a second thought isn’t even wild to consider. Because you have a strange yet unshakeable feeling that he would do the same for you.
Just the idea is enough to shrink your throat as you take measured steps toward his sleeping form, noticing with a smile that his outfit is quite different from the last time.
Very, very different. And much, much more revealing.
Intrigued, you lightly shake his bare shoulder oh what the hell he is cold. “Yoongi?”
Immediately, he snaps up, glasses nudged off-kilter and strands astray in all directions. It’s only when he recognizes who you are and where he is that he rasps out a rugged greeting—the same one as last time,
“Hey, doll.”
God. The sleepy version of those two words might just be your favorite.
Chuckling, you softly spin his chair, swooping down with a kiss that seems to breathe life and energy into his veins.
After you pull away, you adjust his specs, eyes beaming starlight into his when you announce through a smile,
“I’m home.”
Slowly, Yoongi nods with eyes shut. “Missed you.”
A weight to his words compresses your chest, because it means something is still bothering him. “Missed you, too, baby.”
When he doesn’t respond, you move to caress his slight stubble. Shit, was he rubbing his face too hard? He’s reopened a couple cuts.
“Wait here,” you softly command. “We need to patch you up a bit.”
To your surprise, Yoongi follows you through his room anyway, and he waits as you fetch things from the bathroom cabinet that you stocked. Wordlessly, you give him a shy smile before taking his hand in yours, leading him out to the living room.
Throughout the week, you’ve done pretty much everything you could do for him. But helping with his cuts and wounds? Every time, he’s done this part alone in his bathroom.
So this is new. For the both of you.
“Sit.”
Doesn’t matter. You want to do this for Yoongi, if at least to show him that you’re not shying away from this, too. He doesn’t have to face anything alone anymore, and that includes himself. This is simply your way of telling him that.
It’s gonna prove a bit hard to control yourself when he’s not wearing much, though.
But you can do it. You’re a headstrong, determined, confident person who will not succumb to the way their boyfriend looks in a tank and sweats.
Right.
Breathing deep, you walk towards him, standing between his legs and watching him look up with intrigue and curiosity.
“I wanna do this for you, too,” you admit, straddling him when he gives you an encouraging, silent nod. “No funny business, though.”
Fuck, his eyes already dip straight to your cleavage before roving up again. Once again, this man proves that he can do anything and you’re already threatening collapse. “Who said?”
“M… Me,” you breath out, words hitching as Yoongi adjusts himself under your spread thighs.
Ignore the smirk. Ignore it, for heaven’s sake, or you’re breaking your own fucking deal.
“So hold still for me, sir.”
A devious chuckle coats your chin as his head hits the couch, mouth at a slant that should never be paired with those glasses.
Have mercy, you are already having trouble breathing. This is quite possibly the best worst mistake you’ve ever made, and that includes you asking him to fuck you back when you barely even spoke.
That version of you would have fled at the sight of him now.
But here you are, up close and more than personal, and you thank your past self for giving you every moment like this.
As you start busying yourself with the cream, you wonder how you even got here in the first place. Truthfully, you don’t remember much about that day other than it storming right when you were halfway. The rain felt like a punishment at the time, a punishment for going where you shouldn’t and a sign to turn the fuck around.
But now? You think of it as a blessing. Because if it wasn’t raining and you weren’t shivering like hell, you don’t think Yoongi would’ve even let you inside.
It’s because of the heavy clouds that fateful day that all this has transpired. And you will always go back to that summer afternoon when Yoongi put sunlight back in your eyes.
So this week has been your own chance to give some back.
Determined, you lean forward, lightly spreading ointment on his cuts and concentrating to get every spot covered. Your focus is so zeroed in that you almost don’t feel the soothing circles of his thumb on your thighs.
It doesn’t take long, but that’s due to your patient being the best boy. Yoongi only watches as you patch him up, breathing soft from his nose and blinking up at your face.
Pretty soon, you’re finished, turning to set everything down on the… Not coffee table. But the floor.
You can shop for a new one soon.
Well. Your first task is done. Now comes the difficult one, and you kinda just wing it because overthinking has gotten you absolutely nowhere.
“What’s wrong?”
Of course he catches onto your silence. Gulping down all your fears, you take the leap, grateful for the hands holding your hips in support,
“If I ask you anything.. will you be honest with me?”
“Yes.” Zero hesitation makes your heart jolt. “Just ask, love.”
Swallowing, you sieve through the questions and thoughts you want to make sense of, trying to figure out the best way to go about things without making it uncomfortable.
Ah, screw it. There is no best way. “Are you hiding something from me?”
Yoongi’s brows tick. “No.”
It’s more than obvious that he wants to say more. But the fact that he doesn’t? Is actually pretty relieving.
“What happened that night then,” you slowly ask, hating how his fingers tense on your thigh. “In the lot.”
A sigh is your first answer.
Then silence is your second.
The moment draws out so long you think Yoongi won’t fess up, but he finally responds to your stomach instead of your searching eyes,
“Which part.”
Fuck. He’s gonna make you say it. You really, really don’t want to, but he won’t answer unless you’re specific.
Here it goes then. “My brother said the guy from Dalo pulled something on you.”
Immediately, a tongue prods his cheek.
“And you did something, but that’s all I got,” you finish, folding your lips to keep anything else from spilling out like emotions or feelings or any leftover screams from when you were dragged away.
“So ask me.”
Fuck.
You glance up to see Yoongi staring, eyes trained on your face while the rest of his face remains unmoving.
“I…” Shit, you already feel queasy. But he’s gonna answer, so just cut the bullshit and ask. “What did you do?”
“He had a gun.”
What.
“And I just reacted.”
…What?
He braces for this next part, and your entire world suspends in his outstretched hands.
“Just thought it should be me instead of him.”
Oh. God.
Tears form before you can say a word, your fingers shaking and balling up cotton. “You… Oh, Yoongi—”
Your head falls into your palms, every fiber of your being struggling to grasp that the end result wasn’t as horrifying as it could’ve been. Because it still almost happened and you almost lost a home.
People have left before. Many, many times. But they all walked away for their own selfish reasons, and they didn’t come back. Yoongi’s reasons have always been selfless. Always always always, and would’ve been to the very end had he—
Warm hands slide up your arms, but you can’t stop your shakes, you can’t even fucking think straight you can’t even fucking talk.
“Baby…”
What’s that you said about taking a bullet for him? Chills skitter down your spine when you realize how accurate you were in thinking he would do it. Because Yoongi just did it for the only family you have.
Ride or die has never had a better example in physical form. His love for your brother runs deeper than tree roots, and you feel the bitter leaves of guilt nicking your body on all sides.
“Listen. I didn’t know what he was doing,” he tries to clarify, voice swimming low in your ringing ears. “But I just moved.”
Stop. You’ve got to pull it together because there’s more to ask but goddamn it already hurts.
How can you make room for all the love that’s still pouring in for this man? How can one heart ever be enough?
“Thank you,” you hitch out, letting tears ping onto his lap. “But I love you.”
His fingers grip a tad tighter.
“So please.” You finally leave the wet walls of your hands, noticing the deep, deep pools of emotion in his eyes. “Don’t ever get into that again.”
“I know. We all know.”
“Thank you for telling me.” You swipe at your cheeks. “And the guitar?”
Shit. Yoongi reacts even worse to that. Like he half expected it but half hoped you wouldn’t ask.
“It was a gift,” he starts, looking anywhere but at you. “From my ex.”
…What? And he kept it this whole time?
Dark, dark poison seeps into your side as your legs lose their grip. “Oh.”
From one wild emotion to the next. This rollercoaster knocks you around a bend, and you suddenly need it to find a way to stop it in its tracks.
Why did he keep it? Does he still think about her? Is this why he’s never mentioned her, because he didn’t want you knowing the real truth?
This is too much. Your brain is spinning and looping and it starts to lift you from his legs but Yoongi holds you tight and doesn’t let you leave—
“There’s a reason I never let anyone in.”
You let your eyes lift to his lidded expression, hating how some of the shadow has returned.
“And it’s because of her.”
Shit. His hands.
They’re trembling.
Immediately, the ride slows to a stop.
And your chest crumbles alongside your shoulders. You can deal with self-esteem issues or anything to do with his own self, but an ex that he can’t even speak of without anxiety? That’s a completely different story.
Now you feel terrible for forcing it on him. “I’m so sorry.”
“Should’ve told you from the start.”
“No.” Understanding flows through your assurance. “That’s not my business. We don’t have to talk about it.”
He gives you a soft look of gratitude as hands find your hips. “We can. It doesn’t bother me now.”
But his hands… “You sure?”
“Yeah.” Yoongi’s rueful smile sends a pang through your heart. “She treated me like shit, but. She can’t haunt me anymore.”
Your throat clenches. Because now you know exactly what the hell Yoongi’s talking about.
Those things you’ve been told, those lies you’ve been led to believe, those arguments you always seemed to lose even when you knew you were in the right. Even the way you’ve been told you won’t ever amount to much, and the way you’ve blatantly been told you’d never find anyone else. All of it reeks of pain and injustice. And oh, how you’ve been drug through the mud until you couldn’t even recognize your own fucking reflection.
Fucking hell, if this was what Yoongi has been going through, you do wish he told you. You’d draw swords against anyone for him, and that includes the ghosts of his past thinking they could keep holding him hostage in his own fucking head.
You’re so livid you can’t even see straight, and your words leave in smoke, “I know what you mean.”
“What?”
Your breath shakes. Because no matter how long it’s been, this is still hard. “When you go through that for so long, it’s what you’re used to, you know? So anything good that comes, it’s either hard to believe, or you feel like you don’t deserve it.”
Yoongi just stares like he’s seeing you for the first time.
“But you?” Shit. Get the words out because he needs to hear them loud and clear. “You’ve made me realize that I can believe the good things, that I do deserve them. And I should’ve been there for you all this time because I would’ve tried and fought until you got to that point, too.”
Your vision isn’t the clearest.
But you’re gonna remember this look on Yoongi’s face forever.
This stricken, bright-rimmed, pained yet relieved expression will burn and sear into memory, staying etched into your heart until its last beat fades out.
It’s love in ultimate sanctuary.
Because it’s what you feel every second you see him.
“I don’t know what she did to you, or what she ever said,” you conclude, cupping his cheek and wiping a stray tear. “But it’s all wrong and it doesn’t matter anymore. At all. Okay?”
Another drop needs sweeping as yours continue to freefall. Your chest is so close to his now, and you can feel the warmth of his palms as he holds you with arms so firm.
The house in your heart has grown a garden, flowers of all shades taking root and blooming bright. You reach out and skim along their soft petals, watering them with every tear you brush from your lover’s countenance. Once, twice, a little rain shower for two.
Out of all the people you know, Yoongi might be the strongest.
“Everything okay, baby?”
When he finally speaks, your heart beats at his praise. Because it’s so far from what you expect, and far from what you usually tell yourself. “So goddamn perfect..”
“You think so?” You smile with your eyes, noticing the cut on his lower cheek and noting to patch that one again. “Maybe I am.”
Finally, you didn’t hesitate. You didn’t reject it.
And Yoongi’s slow grin of pride is the best and most beautiful reward you could’ve received.
Fuck, the things you would do to see that every day. Is being in tune with yourself all you need to make him proud? Is that really all he wants for you?
Who’s really the perfect one here?
“You have been this whole time,” he whispers, kissing moonlight into your wrist. “Ever since you came over.”
…What?
This time, you do hesitate, moving away to confirm that you heard him correctly.
Are you both on the exact same wavelength? Because how in the world is he referencing the same date and time that you were just thinking about? “...Really?”
“I’m not just saying that, doll.” Yoongi’s brows touch. “What’s wrong?”
Nothing, just what used to be everything. Your mouth bends in a sad upward curve. “I just… No one’s told me that except you.”
“Look at me.”
You slowly peel your lids upward, mesmerized by how Yoongi’s somehow glowing in the last fading colors of dusk.
“If you’ve never been told you’re perfect, everyone’s a fucking idiot.”
Oh, how you love this man. “It’s true,” you shrug. “But like we were saying. Everyone else can eat shit anyway.”
Yoongi doesn’t laugh when you do, simply moving his hands to your waist. “I meant what I said,” he continues with conviction. “You don’t see it yet, but you will.”
God, your ears are searing right through. How is he still going? “Stop,” you pout, hand pressed against his solid chest. “No one can be that perfect.”
“I meant for me.”
Your thoughts grind to a halt. “What?”
All Yoongi does is tilt his chin higher. But it’s enough to drive you to the brink, catapulted further by his words and his look void of any teasing,
“No one will ever come close.”
You’re already building the floor plan for a second home next door.
Does Yoongi know he can’t just say things like that and get away with it? You can only handle so much praise before your mind explodes. Truly, any amount is already hard enough to accept. Shouldn’t he be the one that understands your predicament the most?
So unfair.
“You’re gonna be the death of me,” you groan, cheeks simmering and warm. “You cannot just say that and expect me to be okay.”
A huff of amusement adds more heat to your skin. “Maybe it’s why I do.”
“Of course it is.”
Smiling, his touch slowly travels to your ass, and his squeeze makes you flinch against his lap.
“Babe?” You freeze. “What are you—”
“Angel,” he suddenly grits out in reverence, leaning forward to kiss the bare skin of your chest. “I can’t take it anymore.”
“Yoongi,” you gasp as his hands slip under your top. “We shouldn’t until you’re—”
“I’m good.” He breathes you in. “Promise. I just..”
Your breath catches in your throat, tugging your hands out to wrap around his hair and clutch soft strands. “Just what?”
Inhaling again, Yoongi kisses deeper between your breasts, sending shivers spiraling across your bones. “I need you so fuckin’ bad.”
“Oh.” You squirm not just in shyness, but something a lot more devious. “I need you, too, baby… But I don’t wanna hurt you.”
With a quick snap, Yoongi shoves you against his pelvis, and you yelp at the friction against his hardened tent. “I don’t even give a shit if you do.” Tugging you forward again, he breaks at your whine. “But if I wait any longer I’ll lose my fucking mind.”
“Shit.” Bliss erupts as your legs squeeze his hips. Throwing the last scraps of your dignity, you snatch his face with both hands, core buzzing when his eyes lock with your lips, “Are you sure? I have to know because—”
“Yes, angel—”
“I’m—I’m serious, Yoongi, you don’t get it,” you say with barely held restraint, now knowing everything this man has been willing to do for you and the people you both love. There’s a dark, scary, obsidian part of you that is far from the nickname he’s giving. A little beast growling and crouching, ready to lunge. “I… I want…”
And you let it loose when you whisper exactly what you’ve been wanting to do this entire time, eyes innocent yet tongue fiendish on the shell of his ear,
“I want to ruin you.”
Fuck.
Never. Ever. Has Yoongi’s reaction sent shivers down your skin so fast. You already consider stopping because you’re outright quaking from the things you want to do to him. The waves are coming fast and your first instinct is to run.
But there’s an intensity in his eyes swirling so fiercely it tugs you from shore, and you barrel past all your own muddled excuses as soon as he claws into your soul,
“Do it.”
“Finally.”
Your mouths clash hard as you swallow his tongue from above, stretching his neck over the back of the couch and melting your front onto his. Breathy sounds come from you or him, you aren’t quite certain, but you give his mouth a final shove before attacking his cheek, his jaw, the soft column of his neck.
Shuddering at his moan when you suck a vein.
“My baby’s so sensitive,” you taunt, mocking his words from days and days past. “Gonna have fun with you.”
“Who’d you learn all that from,” he slowly rasps back, groaning when you rake nails along his bare shoulders. “Fuck.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You push onto your knees, grabbing his head and yanking him back by those luscious locks fuck he’s already heavy lidded. Seeing Yoongi so blissed out when you’ve barely started with him? Holy shit you’re so turned on your cunt squeezes around nothing. “Too bad.”
“What the fuck is happening.”
Humming, your descent is quick, pressing lips deep into the skin of his throat and licking, swirling, lapping at the sweat already forming from his body’s flinches and locks. Because Yoongi is gripping the cushions of his couch and fighting for his goddamned life.
When you feel his arms sling around your back, you sigh into his skin. And when he scratches all fingers down your shoulders, you realize exactly why he likes when you do the same.
That shit felt divine. It’s the ultimate encouragement to keep tugging on his hair, yanking his groan to the side to pepper kisses along his good shoulder. “Told you, baby,” you whisper to his silky tone. “You have no idea what’s coming.”
Yoongi’s only response is a breathy laugh as you slide your twisting core over his sweats. “You better be fuckin’ careful.”
“And why is that,” you ask, taunting him with another slow roll up his excruciatingly hard tent. Fuck, you wanted to take your time but you are seconds away from caving he’s already hitting your spot just right. “Why should I listen to you?”
It takes less than a second to remember how strong he is, both arms slamming you onto his dick as he launches his hips upward. Your mewl morphs into a wicked grin when he threatens so delightfully,
“Cus when it’s my turn, you’re fucked, doll.”
Giggles bubble from your stomach as hands slide down his neck. Pressing your forehead against his and feeling your perspiration, too, you goad with a feigned pout, “Promise?”
When he grins, there aren’t any words, his eyes locked on your heaving chest. Hot palms slide down to your ass, squeezing out a moan as he bites his lip. “Of course, baby girl.”
You can’t lose to him.
When you push your body against his neck, you revel in the way his face nestles in your bosom, glasses slightly fogged and face already flushed to hell. “It’s cute,” you purr downward, “How you think you’re even getting a turn.”
Fucking hell, Yoongi’s eyes are so blown out they swallow you whole.
And you welcome the abyss with open arms. “Let me.”
“Hmm?”
“You’ve always taken care of me.” Gently, you caress the hair on his nape. “Let me take care of you this time.”
You watch as light beams into his gaze, and you slowly descend for a kiss, molding into him and breathing in that musk you love so much. If his eyes are the abyss, yours are the void, the monster in your belly on its haunches and ready to roar again.
“Gonna ask one more time,” you whisper to his parted mouth. “You sure I won’t hurt you?”
The dark chuckle you get in response rumbles your ribcage. “You already have,” he says through a devilish slant. “And it feels so fucking good.”
Oh. You know exactly what he means.
And this is the moment you break.
Your deep kiss is a prelude to the ones you plant along his jaw, careful not to touch his wounds as you slide your way down his other side. The fingers you feel skating along your tee are twitching and vibrating with need, and the soft moans you hear launch arrows to your core.
God, he sounds so pretty. Is this what he thinks about when you’re unraveling under his touch?
It’s addicting. It’s vitalizing. You want more more more.
Growing bolder in lust, you kiss down Yoongi’s arm, saliva coating his smooth skin before your finger impishly shifts his tank to the side. As soon as his nipple is freed, your mouth cups it hot, tongue swirling—
“What the fuck?”
Your cunt pulses wild as Yoongi bucks forward, his head digging into the top of the couch and fingers digging divots in your hips. Arms wrap around your waist in a snap, and you keep sucking just to feel him hang on tighter and tighter and tighter.
Then you bite.
And Yoongi flings out a moan so loud you might come.
“Baby, hold on—”
Your fingers rake down his shoulder before squeezing around his other nub, back straining in the tight bend you’re in but it’s worth it all to hear him like this. Like he can’t even function and can’t say anything other than your name. God, it is a high it is a drug. You should’ve been taking the reins a lot more often than the one time you sucked him off so hard he—
Speaking of.
Your lips release his chest with a pop, and you feel drool slathered all over your face when your command dies on your lips, “Lemme…”
Holy fuck, Yoongi is gone.
Hair astray, jaw loose, brows pinched to hell and an angry flush of red flooding his chest. Just the mere sight of him this undone makes you whine, and your brain can’t even remember what you want to say.
Chests heaving, you both simply drink each other in. Because while he looks near collapse, you fear you aren’t faring much better. You already know a strap of your tee has left your shoulder, and your senses are so overblown you know your eyes look volcanic.
And you know for a fact you’re so fucking wet.
“Sit at the edge. For me,” you command through heavy breaths. “Now.”
Your neck is grabbed before you’re tugged into a kiss, and you match his manic energy before dropping to his rug. His pants are quickly stripped right after, cock springing free and already imprinting on the back of your throat.
Well. Yoongi did say he’s gonna lose his fucking mind. May as well make that a reality.
“Babe—”
Your mouth gulps him up before he can get the words out, cheeks hollowing and ears perking at his smattering of hisses. You don’t know what the fuck he was gonna say, and quite frankly, you don’t care. All you’re focused on is giving him your worst, swirling tongue around his tip and squeezing his base with a sure hand.
“Holy fuck.”
Sucks, licks, twirls of your tongue are all practiced and measured, and you slide all the slick down his length before pumping him the way he likes. His heady scent enters your nose the more of him you swallow, and you feel the telltale strain in your pipe with each deep pass.
Fuck, he is unwinding. And Yoongi being so vocal is the reason for the slick coating your thighs, because you damn near lose it when a moan leaves that mouth at a higher pitch than normal what the fuck was that?
“Fuck, babe,” he grits through tight teeth. “So fucking—”
Curses tumble down your back in waves, slick palms hovering over your head and brushing the side of your face. Yoongi can’t decide where to keep his hands as your slobber coats and coats him, finally settling on your scalp and gripping it with need.
Popping off and fully rising on your knees, you let him tilt your head back as he leans forward, drinking in his handsome face and loving the fact he hasn’t taken those goddamn glasses off. Strings web from your chin to his throbbing cock, and you have the boldest audacity to ask,
“What, baby?”
He can only shake his head with a smirk. “I can’t even fucking say.”
Body heat passes over your wet chin as you have another question, “Does it feel good?”
“The fuck?” He kisses your slick forehead as cold jewelry taps your skin. “I can’t even think straight.”
“Good,” you hum, sliding your palm along his wet cock and basking in his shuddering moans. Not only does he sound pretty, but his cologne sends you spiraling even further.
And you’re going somewhere you’ve never gone before. “There’s still this, too..”
You haven’t done this yet. At least, you don’t think you have. But the idea came to you this week when you’ve had plenty of time to hatch menacing plans, and your body is buzzing to fulfill something you think Yoongi wants. Because who the fuck wouldn’t want this?
Lowering both thin straps of your top, you let your breasts free, watching Yoongi shamelessly groan at the sight of them. “Just for you, baby,” you vow, squeezing both tits around his cock and feeling him twitch like mad.
“You’re fuckin’ lying,” Yoongi growls low, words scraped from the roof of his mouth as he flings his head back. “Fuck!”
Delighted to hell, you laugh at his slipping grip on sanity. Yes yes yes, this is where you love to see him. He deserves nothing but ecstasy after everything he’s given, and you’re here to provide. A goddess worshipping her forever love. An angel delivering sin.
“Look at me, Yoongi,” you whine, oozing desire as he leans forward covered in lust and sweat. Your hands continue to slide your tits along his velvety veins, your essence coating them in a shine the more spit they gather. “There you go.”
“Fucking hell, doll.”
“You like it?”
Yoongi reaches out to caress a nipple, and your flinch coaxes wickedness from his curve. “So fucking nasty for me.”
You can’t help but grin, reaching to grip his cock between your tits. “Only you.”
His lips catch yours before your breath finishes, and your eyes slip shut as you feel his palms around your jaw. His presence envelops you from all sides, and you want to exist nowhere else. The world can fall away and cease to turn on its axis, and you’d still be right here, orbiting this man in darkness in silence in joy.
Pure emotion is what lowers your head back onto his cock, taking so much of him your throat constricts in surprise alone. When he knocks the back of your walls, your brain jangles with his guttural moan, and you choke around him so hard your eyes prick with tears.
“Shit.”
You stay pressed against his pelvis a second more, gasping when you come up for air and immediately latching onto his sack. Over your head, you hear your name shoot out of Yoongi’s lips, and your eyes slide high enough to see him on his last thread of coherency.
“Doll, you gotta—you gotta stop—”
“I don’t wanna—”
Your entire head is yanked onto his thigh, breaths heavy and gulping in all the oxygen on the planet. Beads of sweat start to slide down your neck, and you look up to see Yoongi’s bangs clinging to his moist skin.
Again, you find yourself coughing out laughter. Because you’re doing exactly what you set out to do. “Surprised?”
“Not at all,” he huffs out, looking like a man completely satiated and spent. “This is all I’ve been waiting for.”
Oh? That’s news to you. Now you really do wish you started embracing this side of you sooner. “Hope it’s what you wanted.”
“Fucking… overachiever, fuck.”
Grin lopsided, you fully rest your head on his thigh. “I almost came,” you admit, not one ounce of shyness in your tone. “Sucking you off.”
If you aren’t mistaken, Yoongi’s soul damn near leaves his body entirely. “You’re not allowed to say shit like that.”
“What,” you wheeze out, limbs gelatinous and cunt pulsing. “It’s true.”
“I don’t wanna hear it.” When you puff laughter onto his leg, he grins. “Had to stop you before I came, too.”
“Help me up, please,” you breathe out, loving how Yoongi assists without pause. Your body is slowly lifted from the floor as he helps you climb back on his lap, and you immediately find purchase in his chest. “That took more energy than I thought.”
Breathy laughs tickle your ear. “Lie down for me then, babe.”
“No,” you pout. “Wanna keep. Going.”
Ever the giving lover, Yoongi lets you take a breather as he rubs circles on your back. “Whatever you want.”
You turn to slowly kiss his slick neck, traveling further the more access he gives. With each tender plant on his skin, you find more and more strength, but it’s less of the manic kind and more of the outright desire to encase him in love.
His palms slide up your back, caught in your straps before rising higher to grip your shoulder blades. When he digs fingers into your skin, you moan into his throat, licking a spot that has him purring.
“Let me get a condom, love,” he whispers in your ear. And you oblige with a melting slide off of his thighs. “So cute.”
It isn’t long until Yoongi returns, but you practically fuse into the couch when you notice that he’s ditched the tank, leaving his chains and the fucking glasses still?
Oh. Cool. You’re a goner and now your shorts are drenched through.
But you have to remove them anyway, so you slowly stand and make a spectacle out of your strip. Your chest beats loud as Yoongi watches from his seat, his eyes cast in heavy desire watching you slip your bottoms to the floor. You can only focus on the way he rolls protection on, because there’s no way you can hold eye contact with a demon for so long.
When your top hits the ground next, his gravelly hum makes you feel like a god. How ironic, when he commands your every heaven and hell.
“Come here.”
Silent, you slowly mount him once more, pouting to his fiendish smile and narrowing your eyes. “How’d you know to leave them on.”
Yoongi’s teeth shine as he spreads that stupid, cocky grin. And his lack of an answer has you gritting your annoyance out in pure ire,
“You asshole.”
Of course he only laughs.
Bright, white need booms through your center as you grip his shoulders, positioning yourself over his dick with no hands and sliding right on oh holy fuck this part will always leave you breathless from how big he is—
“That’s so hot,” he groans to the ceiling, “Goddamn.”
Wild, fluttering pulses erupt around his cock, and you have to breathe through the connection as you sink and sink and sink. Your thighs burn so deliciously as you adjust, and you start to wonder how long you’ll last without his help. Because your legs are fucking burning. “So big,” you hitch. “Feels too damn good.”
“So fucking tight.”
Both of you groan when you fully sheath, and your slow rocks are enough to send him in a cursing frenzy. Yoongi can’t stop praising you as you move against him, holding you close and breathing down your chest. There are words you’ve heard him say many times, but there’s one that snaps your attention in threes and makes your head twirl.
What did he just say?
“Kiss me.”
You do exactly that, keeping your achingly slow pace and molding your whole body with his. The hard rims of his specs hit your skin as you push deeper, and you grip his slippery neck to keep yourself from falling even harder for him.
It’s no use. You think you’ll be falling forever.
Because your love for him is endless.
Life is significant when you’re joined and moving as one. Sweat drips down your skin in rivulets, but you both don’t care. All you know is how deep he feels inside, how perfect you fit him, how in love you are with every determined stroke.
You tilt his head to kiss him deep, and you shudder at the way he moans and throbs beneath you,
“You’re so…”
“Hmm?”
Yoongi’s eyes struggle to find your face. “I don’t even.. know.”
“Try.” Damn, he really is fighting to stay in one piece. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this and it’s thrilling, and addicting, and everything you want. “What’s on your mind, my love.”
“You,” he gasps. “Just you, I can’t…”
You can’t believe what you’re witnessing. Yoongi is downright entranced.
Is this what you looked like that first day you came over? Is this how he saw you when you completely lost yourself around him? His fucked out face alone is filling you with a fierce need to fulfill every wish he’s too scared to ask for.
A hand moves to cut his airway, and the groan you feel under your fingers is almost as sinful as the smirk stretching across his face.
“That’s my girl,” he manages beyond your hold, chuckling at the way you squeeze around his cock because fuck even underneath you he has so much power. “Give it to me.”
Fuck. You tighten your hold, shoving his head up and over the couch. “You asked.”
Planting your feet on either side of him, you give yourself more power and leverage to your bounces, lifting with each thrust and slamming down the full length of him.
“Shit!”
Big, sweaty hands grip under your thighs, helping you in your quest to destroy him and reaching back to slap your ass. You buck forward with each pleasurable sting, whining into his mouth when you swallow his lips, both mouths parting in pleasure with each thump of your skin against his.
“Baby, this feels—” Your arms sling around to grip the back of the couch, and you fling a moan to the ceiling as Yoongi latches onto one of your tits, hot tongue swirling around a nipple and emitting sounds that should never be heard in public. “Fuck!”
“Taste so fucking good.”
“Yoongi!”
Goddamn, are you already about to come? The throbbing you feel in your cunt is so demanding you think he’s already at his wit’s end, too.
“Angel, lemme feel you,” Yoongi breathes up to your chin. “Come for me so I can paint these tits.”
Your groan tears the deepest part of your soul, and your whole body goes limp as your lover does the work for you, sliding you up and down his cock as his ridges hit just right. His hips thrust up to meet halfway, and you whine into his ear the harder and faster he starts to go.
“That’s it,” he coaxes, grunting out when you squeeze him hard. “Fuck, good girl.”
Your whine pierces straight through his couch.
Shit, even with his help, you feel an unbearable sting in your muscles. All of them in your lower body are screaming to stop, but you want to keep going going going for him. “My legs,” you wheeze out anyway. “I need to relax for a sec.”
With a kiss to your cheek, Yoongi offers with no hesitation, “Lie down, love.”
Oh. Is he sure? “You gonna be okay?”
Wordlessly, he presses you against him as your back sinks into his couch. It’s the most gentle he’s been tonight, and that turns you on so much you know he can feel you pulse around him.
But he says nothing, eyes roaming your face before he leans to capture your lips, breaths mingling and wisping around your cheeks while he completes a perfect roll of his hips.
“You’ve given me everything.” Sliding his glasses off, he sets them on the ground before cupping your ear. “Let me do the same.”
Soul glimmering, you nod in silence.
As much as you love being on top and watching him unravel beneath you, this is where you will always find home. In his arms, love between your lips as you find connection in more than just below, joining as one.
Your world spans from the room in his heart that you’ve been blessed to have, to the end of his shadow that you will always forgive. You can’t think of anything to say now, but it’s not because you’re shy.
It’s because you aren’t the same person you were when you first ended up here, and you think Yoongi has also changed for the better.
That is exactly why you will fight to make everything work.
Moonlight streams strong through the blinds, and you adore how it highlights every part of this man above your twinkling eyes. The silver lining pales in comparison to what you have in your hands, and the slight tint will never compare to his ethereal shade of blue. Every inch of him feels perfect in your folds, and his body slots into yours just right, roll after roll so heavenly you feel like crying.
“I love you,” Yoongi whispers to your soul, and you fling yourself off the edge just to get to him, tide crashing and swirling as you hold him so, so tight.
He groans hot against your slick cheek, no doubt feeling the desperate tug of your walls, and collapses the beautiful weight of his body on yours.
Yes. This is what you want. Him him him and his complete loss of control.
When you rake nails across his back, the outright whine you hear spurns you on, and you can’t help but come again, squeezing him tight and hearing him lose his mind twice. You crash into waves of your own creation, spiraling in your own whirlpool of need and want and love and desire and every fucking thing in between.
“I’m yours,” you whoosh out, mewling in his ear as he strokes into you harder. “Come for me, love.”
It seems he completely abandons his first plan. Because you think he’s gonna pull out to unload on your chest, but you get held down so hard you scream.
Holy shit. Holy fucking shit, Yoongi’s never come so hard for you, thrashing as he clutches you tight. Desperate, you moan from how powerful he twitches inside, spilling into you but not the way you want. Not the way he wants. But you will get there one day and you don’t fucking care if anything happens after that, as long as you’re with him.
Honestly? You’d be fine with… Something happening after that—
“Fuck..”
Your future thoughts are interrupted by harsh breaths, and you sling tired arms around the love of your life.
“I’m yours, too, doll.” He grits his teeth and tightens his hold around your spent form. “That’s it. This is it for me.”
“And I love you, too,” you heave to his deep set brows, swallowing oxygen and searching his eyes for something else. “How do you feel?”
“There’s… There’s no noise.”
No noise?
“I…” Yoongi clutches your head with a warm palm, eyes settling into soft crescents and sparkling like celestials. “The only thing I hear is you.”
This has to be big news for him. It has to be, given the outright relief showing on his face. So instead of questioning further, you only give your support and celebrate this win, “That’s all you need, to be fair.”
His laugh lights your soul aflame. “Thank you.” Eyes roaming along your face, he smiles. “For everything.”
Following his advice earlier, you ask him another question you need to know the answer to, “Will you tell me if things get bad again?”
Shit. There seems to be a war in his head, and you wait with bated breath. “Gonna be honest.. I don’t know if I’ll remember to.”
Well, that’s a little scary. You tap him to sit up, and he obliges. “Why?”
Instead of sitting, Yoongi stands from the cushions, holding your hand to lift you beside him. It’s intimate to be naked just like this in his living room, but you aren’t shying away. This is your place now, too, you’d like to believe, and this is Yoongi’s way of showing it.
When he leads, you know you’re heading to the bathroom. But you listen as he tries to explain, rolling off the condom and chucking it in the nearest bin,
“It’s.. I dunno. Like my mind just leaves and goes off the rails and I can’t stop it.” You both head into his room. “Everything I think about just comes in at once and I’m drowning again.”
“Oh, baby.. I didn’t know it was like that.” When you stop him near his desk, you give a kiss of support to his cheek. “What about talking to someone?”
For the upteenth time today, Yoongi is stunned. “Like a psychiatrist?"
“Hmm. Maybe, or a therapist? Depends on what you want, but I can’t remember right now. Have no think.”
Looking down, Yoongi reaches for his phone next to his keyboard, and both of you check up on the definitions while you hook an arm around his. Looks like he’d be better off with a therapist for what he’s looking for.
“It could help,” you murmur, hoping he’s fine with your suggestion. “Maybe.”
Staring and looking through more pages and sites, Yoongi comes to his own conclusion. “I think you’re right.”
“I’m always right.”
Phone thudding down on his desk, he rubs your shoulder, thumb brushing and feeling beautifully warm. “Most of the time.”
Your poke to his side sets off a flinch.
“For now, you just have to find something that calms you down.” You extricate yourself from his side and head to the bathroom, feeling the chill of night air on your bare skin. “Like something that will just.. I dunno, make you forget all the bad shit for a little while.”
“It’s you, doll.”
You turn to face him across the room, eyes searching for any doubt as he walks up to your planted feet.
“This whole time, it’s always been you.” Reaching for your hips, he softly connects your front to his. “My nights are for sleeping again.”
Oh. That’s more than you can bear to know. Touched, you caress his hair, eyes teary and full. “Good. It felt like something was bothering you this whole week, but. Maybe I was just reading into it too much.”
“You aren’t wrong.” He swallows, gaze looking towards his bed. “I… Wrote some songs. At the hospital.” When you don’t say anything, he stares at your lips. “And I really, really wanna work on them.”
Wait. That’s it? “Oh. That’s what you’ve been working on here? I won’t keep you if you need to work on them now.”
“Nah, I’ve just been doing the instrumentals here. If I wanna record vocals, I’d have to go to the studio.”
This is so confusing. Does he think he can’t go? Or does he think you wouldn’t wanna go with him? “...Okay?”
He finally regards your eyes, stunned that you’d readily let him go. “Okay?”
“Yes, silly. If it’s something you need to go do, then do it.” You feel bad if you were the reason he couldn’t do what he’s been wanting to do. Maybe you should be more vocal in your support instead of just your actions. “Just show me what you end up doing because I’m nosy.”
“Come with me.”
“Hmm?”
Yoongi pulls you close, leading both your hands around his side and your faces closer. And it’s criminal how dashing he looks in those specs with his hair falling around the rims. “To the studio. Come with me.”
Your breath catches in your throat as your pulse quickens. “You sure, baby?”
“No one’s gonna be there for a minute,” he assures. “We still got a bit of time before anyone comes in.”
“If you’re okay with it..” Suddenly shy, you stare at the silver on his chest.“I’ve always wanted to come see you at work, so.”
“No shit?” Yoongi’s face lights up so fast you’d think the moon dipped into the room. “Let’s go then.”
—
—
This is happening. This is actually happening.
A whole wave of excitement drenches you as you’re brought into the studio you’ve only heard about.
Shelves of equipment line one wall while a black sofa sits right near the door, hugging the backside of the room. On the far side, you see one huge workstation, littered with different buttons, sliders, computer monitors, and backed by a speaker system that stands in front of a long glass window.
Oh. Sick. There’s a recording booth attached right to their room, and even that space looks pretty decently sized.
“Holy shit,” you breathe out, eyes wide as you take in your surroundings. The air itself feels new and exciting, full of promise and dreams and… one Min Yoongi smiling at you from the doorway.
Laughing, you blurt, “What?”
His teeth shine as he looks down, shutting the door and making his way towards you. The way he walks makes you feel many things, but above all, it lets you know how at home he feels here. How comfortable and in his element. “Nothing, doll,” he says through a grin. “Just watching you.”
Your eyes cannot sparkle bright enough. But you let him pull you into his arms as you keep looking around. “It’s amazing,” you note with wonder. “No wonder you practically live here.”
There’s no malice or anything negative in your tone. So you’re confused when Yoongi’s shoulders drop. “Sorry,” he apologizes, eyes downcast. “I always try to make things quick.”
Your eyes snap to his. “What? No, don’t do that.” Sliding palms up his jaw, you look him head on. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way, okay? I don’t care how much time you spend here, not if it’s what you wanna do.”
You meant it earlier. He has to know you’re gonna support his dreams and aspirations no matter what. In actions, and in words. If he doesn’t know that yet? Well. You aren’t trying hard enough to drive the point home.
Yoongi twists his face to kiss one of your hands. “Thanks, baby.”
Oh. Baby again. Not babe. Why does him saying that make you crumble a hundred times over? “Of course. And don’t mind me while we’re here, okay? I’ll be invisible unless you need my help.”
Looking towards the workstation, Yoongi contemplates before turning back with a small nod. “I do, actually.”
Wait, you even get some hands-on action? Yoongi’s gonna teach you shit? Tonight is the best night ever. “Perfect, put me to work. What are we doing, producer man?”
—
—
Yoongi bobs in the recording booth while you do the same and await his first masterpiece.
And as he spits line after line, you hype him up, grabbing your chair arm and yelling out as he completes another rhyme.
Fuck, he’s good and quick-witted, which is inherently a turn on for you and launching you into his magnetic stratosphere. You start getting up to bounce in place, and he raps to the rug as you keep encouraging him to continue. He can’t hear you, but he can see you, and you’re certain those flashing smiles are for your antics.
It’s amazing how Yoongi can just do this. He’s truly a genius, and you’re starting to wonder what other artistic prowess he has. You would be fine just sitting on the back couch and watching him work any day of the week. Why haven’t you been doing this sooner?
Well. There are two pretty damn obvious reasons.
The beat bumps and bumps after he finally finishes, and you wait the designated seconds before cutting the recording line. Something about letting it run a bit as to not cut off the backend off his recorded part.
Just like that, Yoongi’s done with two out of the three songs he wrote in that waiting room. You shout in vehement support as he grins at your bouncing, standing ovation. As he comes through the recording door, you buzz at his amused as hell question, “What are you even doing in here?”
“Uhh, hyping you up? That was so good!”
His laugh creases those beautiful, spectacled eyes. “It’s just one verse per song!”
“Just one—let me try,” you command, settling back into your rolling chair. “Run it again and watch me.”
“Oh, yeah?” A few hisses of laughter shoot out as he peers up at the overhead screen. “Let’s see it then.”
The beat starts and you try to find a good first line to rhyme with. And this is meant to demonstrate to Yoongi that he is miles above everyone in rapping, but you start to get into it, using the simplest sentences and shouts and making your lover laugh his ass off.
But he’s egging you on and bobbing his head so enthusiastically that you’re somehow finding all the right words to say, elated when he shouts and looks at you with hearts in his eyes.
Your chuckle is softer and softer as you stop. “What?”
“You’re so perfect.”
Your cheeks sizzle right underneath. “You just say that because you’re happy.”
“I am happy,” Yoongi says without hesitation, which makes your heart soar. “But you’re also perfect.”
You cannot deal with this level of affection right now. Not when you both came for him to work on something important. Plopping into the rolling chair again, your stomach flips as it leans back a bit. “And you need to focus,” you order, rolling close and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “You have one more to go, if my counts are correct.”
His eyes have a very intentional glint as he creases them at you, but he lets you steadily roll to the side as he looks at the console. “I have to move some tracks around, so this might take a sec. If you get bored, though, tell me and we can leave.”
“Not until you’re done.”
Yoongi looks at you again, and he watches your smile. “You sure?”
When you nod, you take hold of your phone and lean into the plush but firm back of the chair. Unlocking your screen, you hum, “I’ll keep myself busy somehow.”
“Come here.”
Although low, Yoongi’s voice is more than enough to get your attention. Head raising, you see him angling himself towards you before rising out of his seat.
Wait. What’s he doing? You know he’s supposed to be working. You both agreed this wouldn’t result in any funny business. But your throat remains closed and silent under those eyes. Fuck, they’re smoldering. Seriously, what is he doing?
Leaning down, Yoongi places firm hands on your armrests, caging you in and letting his chain swing free, “I said come here.”
Well. If he doesn’t give a shit? Fuck it then.
You giggle before willfully meeting his lips, neck craning to reach him and swooning at the way his cold silver hits your throat. You’re nowhere near a bed nor couch anymore, but that’s exactly where your mind wanders for the quickest of seconds.
Turns out, you aren’t the only one. Your mind has company. And it, along with your whole body, shivers at the next words pouring like liquid, spiced honey from that devilishly curved mouth,
“I know we said what we said.”
“Uh huh…”
“But following the rules.. hasn’t exactly been my style.”
Your breath hitches at those mischievous eyes. “Even if they’re yours?”
Yoongi lets out a breath of a laugh, like he knew you would ask that and he’s got his answer loaded in the chamber. “Doll, there’s only one set of rules I wouldn’t break.”
“And which ones are—”
Snatching your quick lips, he kisses butterflies into your belly before gripping your chin, holding your gaze and melting you with one syllable.
“Yours.”
Maybe you’re about to pass away in a studio. But at least you’d have an excuse to stay in here forever now, because you could listen to Yoongi perform and record every day of your life.
“The number of times…” He kisses you again, chaste and full. “I’ve thought about you in here…”
“Me…?” You breathe out before your eyes slip shut in another kiss. “Why?”
“One, I think about you everywhere.” He kisses your neck. “And two? Just cus I shouldn’t.”
You suddenly get an idea. About a home studio that you certainly can put to use. But this one would have to do—
“Alright, old man,” you stop his next advance with a stiff arm. “Get to work before I make you.”
“Ugh.” Yoongi rises with a deep chuckle. “You’re lucky I love that.”
“I know you do.”
“This is the last one anyway,” he notes, picking up his notebook and tapping it with a pen. “Just wanna make sure you’re fine hearing it.”
“Of course I am, baby.” You roll up to the workstation as Yoongi loads a file into the interface. Based on the ones you already heard, you know why he’s asking you about this third track. Now you’re even more nervous to be in the room. “I’m not the one paying for the studio time.”
His cheeks leap to the sky when he grins at the monitors, shifting things around the screen with the deftness of a professional. “Why do you seem so comfy here?”
Your heart follows through the roof. Because you have the same feeling, but you already know the reason. It’s working right in front of you. “Because this is your home,” you respond through a smile. “And I can finally see why.”
His hands pause as emotions race across his face. And while you think you can pick some of them out, a few of them border on melancholic. Regardless, you’re sticking to your answer, eyeing him when he faces you one more time.
Bending, he cups your chin so, so tender. “You’re my home,” he corrects with a whisper, and your heart glows with his soft kiss to your cheek. “Now stop distracting me, brat.”
Oh, he’s got to be joking! “What did I do!”
Yoongi simply laughs as he checks everything over. With a tap of his fingers, he seems satisfied, so he heads into the recording room. “Just remember to do the same thing.”
“Yeah, I got it.”
Exhaling from your mouth, you watch as he slips on headphones and adjusts the mic. When he gives you a thumbs up, you give him a nod, hitting record and letting music flood the studio.
And your entire body is surrounded by a desperate sense of longing, wildly different from the first two songs, and you slowly stand because you can’t do anything else.
You understand everything now.
Why Yoongi wouldn’t leave your side, why he was so eager to see you. You feel it now, too. This pull, this yearning, this overwhelming feeling in your chest that is tugging you closer and closer to him. There aren’t many words yet, but you understand what he’s trying to convey.
This man can have the universe and then some.
When Yoongi notices your tear-stained cheeks, he holds your gaze before slowly slipping his headphones down his hanging head.
It takes everything for you to stop the recording, shaking as you slowly walk to the recording room entrance. As you open the door, it feels more than symbolic, and a pang rings in your chest at the sight of Yoongi’s reddened eyes.
So you bolt, crushing him into a hug and letting all those moments of separation and confusion and anger fall from your eyes. It’s not just a song, it’s a plea. It’s a cry for help. And you’re gonna answer it every single time.
“I’m here, Yoongi,” you whisper. “I’ll always be here.”
He doesn’t look when you cup his chin.
“Baby, look at me.” He finally does, and your chest tightens so quick you choke. “It’s gonna be alright.”
“You think so.”
“Yes.” You smile, giving him a calming kiss that gets your point across. Then another to his cheek. And another to his forehead. Nothing heated. Nothing intense. Only the purest connection. “I’ll always lo—”
Every hair you have stands on end.
Because a booming intercom buzzes across the room with a crackle and a snap, and all your peace flees as you snap your head to the window.
Blanching at the person watching on the other side.
“Yoongi, what the fuck?”
—
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tbc :)
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how did we enjoy the last drop!! | join the server!
a/n: AND THE WHOLE PART IS UPPPPP woohoo! thank you all for bringing such joy and love to this series that means the world to me. i cannot have asked for a cooler community, and knowing you guys have been waiting for this all this time? i could cry. even after all this time, you're still here. or you're just finding this series and joining us on this journey. thank you all for being here, and here's to... well... The Big Events. #prayForMe #willBeCryingOnMyKeyboard
++ feedback box:
⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated!
⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think!
⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like!
⇥ here!
++ more links:
⇥ masterlist
⇥ three tangerines masterlist
a/n 2: we did this for 3tanfugue and the energy was great! just like last time, some of you guys suggested that we have post goals to encourage interaction. no one voted against it yet, so we'll keep it goin!
note goal: since we're back in main storyline, upping the goal! 1,000 notes is the goal, so when we hit that, 3tan14 will be dropped as soon as it's done! thank you all for reading and would love to hear any thoughts: what did you like about the chapter? how did a certain scene make you feel? what are you excited to see next? any shares, comments, tags, and reblogs with commentary count, and i appreciate anything you guys have to say.
[ 3tan13 ] gonna eat then do the taglists! a lot of you guys recently joined, which makes my heart full🥹🍂 enjoy the beast that is 3tan13 and i’ll see everyone on the other side!
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