Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum
This hands down the best comment in the notes, I will not be taking criticism.
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Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum
This hands down the best comment in the notes, I will not be taking criticism.

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MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE 7.10 – "Malcolm's Money"
Malcolm in the Middle | 5.13
Bonus:
Malcolm In The Middle (2000 - 2006) I 2.13
who would win in a battle to the death. neither of them are really the fighting type but my money is on francis based on pure experience

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malcolm in the middle coming back after twenty years to say ‘protect trans kids’ wasnt in my bingo card but im appreciative of it
Kelly’s scene at the end made me cry
Everyone always talks about how much gomez and morticia are romantic freaks for each other but idk i feel like these two give them a run for their money
Reese and Tanner have been friends for years, due to being on the hockey team in high school. Basically, Reese is head over heels for Tanner? and sticks Malcolm in the middle to help solve his problems with how to tell Tanner he wants him so bad.
Reese Wilkerson x Male OC
TW: cussing, banter
WC: 2,212
Another Malcolm Stuck In The Middle
Tanner skated around the ice effortlessly, his mind entirely elsewhere, not on practice. He only snapped out of it when he was suddenly knocked lightly in the shoulder, his head lifting to meet Reese Wilkerson’s eyes.
“Hey, focus on the ice, Mr. Hotshot,” Reese teased, his tone not as kind, but Tanner knew Reese. Reese was never rude to Tanner, despite him having a reputation of beating every kid that came near him.
“Dude, says you! I watched you knock Casp on his ass literally 10 minutes ago,” Tanner bumped Reese back softly, chuckling as his skating got sloppier now that he was so focused on talking with Reese.
“We were scrimmaging! He got in my way, so I knocked him down,” Reese said matter-of-factly, as he smiled at Tanner. It was rare to see Reese engaging with another human being that didn’t involve him pounding their face. Tanner was kind of his best friend, even if Tanner didn’t see him the same.
“You’re still coming to my house, right? Mom’s really excited to see you again,” Reese looked away as he spoke, not wanting to seem desperate, but he really wanted Tanner to come over.
“Of course I am; we need to plan the stupid team bonding, and we haven’t hung out in what has felt like years,” it had in reality only been a week, but Tanner didn’t care. He loved spending time with Reese, his teammate, assistant captain, and best friend all in one. And okay, maybe his only real friend.
It was no secret that Tanner Kiełbasa is good at hockey. Like, he's going to go off to college to play D1 for one of the best teams in the US, and eventually get drafted to the NHL. And with that came multiple fake friends, none of whom wanted to be friends with him, but to be friends with someone ranked nationally for hockey. But Reese was never like that. He doesn’t care how good he is; they could go hours without talking about hockey, or the fact that they’re Juniors in high school and shit is now serious.
He also loved Reese’s mom, Lois. Lois was like a second mom; one who didn’t care about his stats or which college Tanner would choose, unlike his own mother. She just cared that he was okay, and that he kept Reese out of trouble.
Reese only chuckled in response, grabbing Tanner’s stick and pulling him around the ice off towards the locker room as practice came to an end. All Reese could focus on was how excited he was that Tanner was coming over. I mean, he wasn’t too excited, right? He was just happy his best friend was coming over, that's all…
Tanner and Reese changed side by side, their cubbies right next to each other, their nameplates “Wilkerson #25” and “Kiełbasa #93” shining brightly as they pulled their shirts over their shirtless bodies. Only then did Tanner realize he forgot his hoodie. It was twenty-eight degrees outside.
“Shit, I forgot my hoodie. It’s always freezing at your house, dude,” Tanner whined, looking over at Reese.
Reese didn’t even hesitate to dig in his bag, pulling out his blue hoodie with a skull on the front of it and handing it over to Tanner.
“Reese, no. You’ll be cold and whine like a baby,” Tanner pouted, pushing Reese’s hoodie back towards Reese.
Reese groaned, bunching up the hoodie and shoving it over Tanner’s head. Tanner had that adorably stupid pout on his face, the one he had when he didn’t get his way. Reese could only smile in response.
“Too bad, now do I need to finish putting it on you, or can you manage it yourself, big baby?” Reese smirked, crossing his arms after he slung his bag over his shoulder as he waited for Tanner, who grumbled and begrudgingly pulled the baby blue hoodie over his arms and around the rest of his body. Okay, it was comfy, so maybe it wasn’t too bad. But he didn’t want Reese to get the last laugh, so he grabbed his bag and stomped his way to his car, Reese hot on his trail, giggling to himself.
────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
Tanner popped the trunk, throwing his and Reese’s bag in, slamming it shut, keeping his “grumpy” mood up. Even though he now had the hoodie sleeves covering his hands and knew for a fact that Reese saw, his smirk only widened.
Tanner slipped into the driver's seat, Reese doing the same with the passengers. They drove silently, with little glances at each other, but words were never exchanged. Reese fumbled with his hands, almost like he was itching to reach out and hold something… like a match! Yeah… not Tanner’s hand; that would be silly.
It’s not like Reese didn’t know he was Bisexual. He was very proud of that, but he couldn’t like Tanner. Tanner was straight, or so he thinks. Plus, they play hockey; it’s not like they can be open about it if something were to happen.
────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
Once Tanner pulled into the Wilkerson driveway, Tanner was quick out of the car to see his favorite second mother, who waited with open arms the second Tanner stepped foot into the kitchen.
While the two caught up, Reese rushed to find his only smart brother, but when he couldn’t find Dewey, he ran to Malcolm.
“Malcolm! I don’t know what to do; I need your help,” Reese rushed out, grabbing his brother and shaking him softly.
“Reese! What the hell? Stop shaking me,” Malcolm pushed Reese off of him, glaring at him. “What do you need help with anyway? We both know you’re too far gone to be asking for help with school,” Malcolm crossed his arms, acting as if he had anything better to be doing. He didn’t.
“Okay, so I totally like Tanner.” Malcolm only rolled his eyes, acting as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but let Reese continue. “But I don’t know how to tell him, or if I should even tell him; I’m pretty sure he’s straight!” Reese ranted, his eyes crazy like the world was going to end in five minutes, which to Reese, might just be the case.
“Dude, just kiss him or something. Well, okay, maybe don’t just go for it; make sure he won’t punch you and actually wants to first, and then kiss him,” Malcolm explained as if it was obvious. Seriously, was it that hard to talk to people?
Then Reese did the unthinkable: he hugged Malcolm. And as quick as he did it, it was just as quick to be over; both boys recoiled in disgust.
“Uh… thanks for the advice…” Reese patted Malcolm’s shoulder softly.
“Uh yeah, anytime…” Malcolm responded, leaving the room so quick he felt like The Flash.
────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
Lois hugged Tanner, her eyes wrinkled up from how hard she was smiling. However, she didn’t miss the fact that Tanner was being swallowed by Reese’s hoodie. Not any hoodie, his favorite hoodie, the one which he refuses to give up even to his brothers to share. Lois looked to Hal, who stood in the kitchen not far from Lois’ line of vision. After exchanging a few words with Tanner, she excused herself and Hal to their bedroom.
“Lois. I thought I had at least another month before they started dating for me to give Reese that talk!” Hal paced the bedroom, completely oblivious to Lois’ smirk.
“They’re not dating, not yet at least. Maybe by the end of the week, or maybe by the end of the night. But definitely not yet. Tanner would be too scared to hug me if they were,” Lois smiled fondly; she enjoyed Tanner. He kept Reese out of trouble, and he seemed happier around Tanner.
Hal perked up, rushing out of the room, spotting Malcolm. Hal immediately grabbed him, pulling him into the boys' shared room.
“Malcolm, I need your help.” Hal shook his son by the shoulder, his eyes wide.
It’s not that Hal and Lois were homophobic, no. Quite the opposite, actually. But having to tell your kid you support them while not knowing if they’re dating their very obvious crush is hard.
“Why does this keep happening!” Malcolm groaned. “With what, Dad? Did Reese get arrested again? Because I can’t keep training his lawyer on what to say-” Malcolm was cut off by Hal.
“No, No, No. Reese is actually, for once, fine. But your mother and I think Tanner and him are going to… you know… start dating by the end of the day or week. How do we go about talking to him about it?” Hal rubbed his hands together nervously, looking over his shoulder, scared that either one of the boys would walk in and hear.
“Dad, you can’t just talk to him about it! Reese has to come to you, and when he does, just be supportive; it’s not that big of a deal,” Malcolm rolled his eyes, walking out of the room to go eat dinner.
“Oh,” Hal spoke breathlessly, suddenly realizing Malcolm was right. Hal walked out of the room, acting unusually, because let's face it; Hal can’t act normal when he feels like he’s keeping a secret.
“You okay, Mr. Wilkerson?” Concern covered Tanner’s face looking at Lois, who was trying to kick Hal and failed miserably, kicking Malcolm instead.
“Ow, Mom! Why do I always get stuck in the middle of everything?” Malcolm huffed, calming down slightly when Tanner gave him a sympathetic look and mouthed a ‘sorry’ to him.
Hal didn’t respond, just went on with his dinner, but kept looking between Reese and Tanner as if they would randomly burst out and tell them that they were dating.
Reese was oblivious, and honestly, so was Tanner. They were too engrossed in conversation about the upcoming team bonding and what they should do to even care about the lingering stares from Lois and Hal.
────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
After a painful dinner for the Wilkerson parents, Tanner and Reese ran off to the boys' shared room, Malcolm mumbling something about doing work on homework in the garage, and Dewey not wanting to third-wheel Tanner and Reese, following Malcolm out of the house.
“Okay, I’m thinking if we do dinner at my house that can be enough “team bonding” for Coach,” Tanner thought as he lay on Reese’s bed, looking up at the boy who stood over him.
“That could work, especially since Coach said no money needs to be spent for it,” Reese sat next to Tanner’s laid-out body.
Reese couldn’t focus on what came out of Tanner’s mouth after that. My God, he was handsome. Reese could only stare down at him, his eyes switching between Tanner’s lips and his eyes, not knowing which one he liked more: the soft pink or gray-blue. He decided both were his favorite color.
“Reese? Are you listening to me?” Tanner laughed, watching as Reese snapped out of his daze, though his eyes still lingered on Tanner’s lips.
“Totally… you know what, screw it, Malcolm better be right-” and before Reese could even fully finish speaking, he was leaning down and softly grabbing Tanner’s hoodie–his hoodie–and connecting their lips.
Tanner was in complete shock, but once reality hit, he immediately pulled Reese in closer. He propped himself up on his elbows to get better access to Reese.
Reese ran his hand that wasn’t gripping his hoodie through Tanner’s hair, playing with the hair on the back of Tanner’s neck. He moved his lips from Tanner's to his cheek, forehead, temple, nose, eventually all over his entire face.
“You have no clue how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Reese said, lying down next to Tanner, burying his face into his chest.
“Took you long enough,” Tanner said, amusement lingering in his eyes as he chuckled and wrapped his arms around Reese.
“Leave me alone; I thought you were straight. I didn’t want to be punched,” Reese pouted, lightly hitting Tanner in the stomach. “This means you’re spending the night, though, right?” Reese perked up, smiling innocently at Tanner.
Tanner giggled but nodded, his hand running through Reese’s short hair, admiring the other boy like he hung the moon and stars himself–though, knowing Reese, he would try.
“Does this mean we’re dating now?” Reese questioned, smiling up as he rested his chin on Tanner’s chest, giving him the best puppy dog eyes he could muster.
“Wouldn’t you like to know, Weather Boy?” Tanner burst out laughing at his own joke, groaning when Reese punched him in the shoulder, but still laughed through the pain. “Ow! Yes, okay, we’re dating! I was getting there,” Tanner still laughed.
Reese only huffed, but his very obvious smile was still on his face. He closed his eyes, wrapping the blankets around them, and let himself drift off to sleep. Tanner wasn’t too far after, his head lying on top of Reese’s head, who was nestled up to Tanner’s chest.
Malcolm and his parents stood in the doorway, smiles on all of their faces at the sight of the new couple.
“You both owe me $20,” Malcolm smirked, his hand out for the money to be placed in.
MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE (2000—2006) 6x07 “Hal Sleepwalks”
Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs
jesus that is good to know.
Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten.
REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit
my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies
Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs. So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying. So what’d they do? They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs! The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!
AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS
this post just got so much better
THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST
this is emmett and cullen they are best friends
This is the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.
Dogs are truly angels.
so THATS why these cheetah ft dogo pics exist
the anxiety cat
Also! Cheetahs are not in fact classified as big cats, they are simply very large lesser cats, due to the fact that they purr, meow, chirp, and cannot roar. Also many cheetahs have learned to recognize wildlife photographers are friends and not foes, so they will just come up to people and be friendly occasionally as pictured at the top of the chain. Some will even leave their Cubs with photographers to look after while they hunt. So. Yeah. Cheetahs are great
this works because cheetahs are actually fairly social animals, and they look to members of their group for context on how worried they should be about any given Situation. but since cheetahs are also nervous social animals, they can work each other into an anxiety spiral pretty easily over things like “being in an enclosed habitat” and “there’s a guy over there”.
so by introducing a dog as a member of the group, the cheetahs will now look to the dog for context clues on how worried they should be! and the dog Is Not Worried At All, Thanks, so the cheetahs think everything must be chill even if they were personally unsure about it, and they stop being so freaked out about literally everything.
Cheetah: oh god what’s going on how are we feeling weird spotless cheetah
Dog: :) fine, thanks
Cheetah: :) oh, okay
Wasn’t expecting this of all posts to be the first tumblr post I’ve ever seen crest 2mil notes, but I’ll take it

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this is the thing I was talking about where people are playing with their cats the way that cats play with eachother lmao
HE KILLED HIM
For those concerned, yes, this is play, and the cat is happy. You are seeing an active, energetic cat who enjoys roughhousing, not a hostile or angry or defensive one. Cats have pretend tough body language just like we do.
Bowie stupidly emerging from the laundry hamper after a NINE HOUR kip because i said the word dinner. To my HUMAN FAMILY!!
And No this is not a senior cat she is ONE year old.
I keep fishing my phone out of my pocket at work just to get a hit of this image
Before I knew it
Artist- Vanessa Stockard

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