Akalei

points about this -it was shot off by a cannon -he continued being a knight for over 40 years after getting the iron hand -it was delicate enough he could still write with a quill using it, which is important as he was described as a ‘warrior poet’ -after a merchant-punching life suitable for an elder scrolls protagonist he was outlawed by the holy roman empire, friends of his used a high diplomacy roll and a bribe to get him out, and he then almost immediately kidnapped a bishop -after outlaw of the holy roman empire 2 electric boogaloo was placed under house arrest in a castle he had purchased with all his quest rewards to spend the next 20 years drunk off his ass

I can’t believe you’d make this post and not mention that his poetry contains the first known usage of the phrase “lick my ass”

“why would i do that” because the less-bad person will kill fewer people, you fucking idiot.

You shouldn’t date or become serious friends/partners with someone if you can’t stomach the thought of being stuck in a car or train with them for 16 hours.

*pulls European closer* The most populous countries in the world are China, India, the United States, Indonesia, Pakistan, Nigeria, and Brazil in that order, with these seven nations alone making up 48.16% of the world population. You may note with the aid of a map that many of these nations are quite large, and would take several days of travel to go across either in cars or on boats. Almost half of the world's population lives in places where you can travel in a cramped vehicle for days and still be within the country. Your worldview is limited and Europe is a tiny outlier in travel time and standards for international relations.

Epistolary Sherlock Holmes told through Watson’s social media posts about his unhinged roommate

Hey is the build a bear employee supposed to force us to jump up and down or are we getting hazed

as a build-a-bear employee it is my honor to happily inform you that we get to make everyone do whatever the fuck we want during a heart ceremony. jump to get that heart beating. rub that heart to your knees so your furry friend always needs you. rub it to your toes so it’s totally awesome! shake it up so it’s got enough energy to hang out with you all day! close your eyes, make a wish, and give it a kiss you helpless motherfucker

Look, reanimation is a Process, okay

“Reanimation is a process” is a sentence that just makes me want to play a Necromancer as a very deadpan Build-A-Bear employee.

Confession: I have a friend who likes to text me at like 4am when he’s had nightmares or he can’t sleep or he just needs a friend. He thinks I’m always awake at 4am but really I go to bed around 12am and I change his text-tone to the loudest one I have just so it wakes me up when he needs me.

you’re the kind of friend everyone needs

I think that since its been a year since I made this post its time for an update. In the past year I’ve watched this post grow and grow, people I work with have told me about it as “this post I saw the other day” and they have no idea it’s my post. The person I wrote this about has even reblogged it. He is no longer texting me at 4am. Not because we no longer speak but because the nightmares have stopped. He and I both are in a much better place. Most often the only times he’s waking me up at 4am is when he’s pulling me closer to him while we sleep. He’s more than a friend now and I’m forever thankful to have him. Everyone messaged me saying he was lucky to have me but I think I was just as lucky to have him and I would do it all over.

Have something to look forward to every thurday for half a year. A week to build up excitement and theories between episodes (or to yk, be too busy to watch). Time to create art about it.

Oh, this is what it's like to time travel.

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

I was born in the late nineteen hundreds

only nineteen hundreds kids will remember these

born some decades before the Calamity

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

^Same for me

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

much woah

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

Y’all have no idea how hard I was trying not to laugh in class at that poor bird

They…they just blew up a fucking bird…

World Heritage Post

Twink // Otter // Bear solidarity

This is exactly what the 90s would have been like with today’s internet

The three gods of Chaos meet up to party once more before the end of the human world.

The best part of this vid is the fact that they spent enough time out dancing in the streets for the sun to go down completely