Ellipsism

can anyone find me that mesopotamian clay tablet telling you to marry a party girl because she'll bring you joy

Happy Wife Happy Life is 4.5k years old

last day to reblog

Fine

Bruce what the fuck?

people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?

The sandwich i had for lunch didnt moan and scream and squirm against my body and then become limp and pliable when i was done now did it

Oh, that’s very helpful indeed!

!!!

Roast the fuck out of them. Being family doesn’t mean you ever have to be okay with that shit.

*slow clapping at the dad*

These wonderful people have a single braincell to share but unfortunately none of them are using it

I just sent this to my husband and his response was “you can’t put a price on that” uh, yeah you can, they just did. 🙄

i remember the blissful 14 months when me and my friend shared a nanny, and coming back into the living room to find she had spontaneously tidied up the extreme chaos. That must be what it’s like, being a man, that you can just walk away from some mess to get ready for work, and when you come back somebody else has dealt with it without any physical or mental effort from you. 

I think about this essay all the time

I love my job, but reblogging employment jelly for someone else I love.

Mood, boosting for others!!!

does anyone feel the layer of plexiglass between themselves and the rest of the world or is that just a me thing