in the garden of wind and thunder

had a dream i walked up to a food stall and they tried to sell me 3 takoyaki for $130 and i was so mad that i woke myself up before completing the transaction. idiot lost their customer to the waking world lol. charge less next time.

girl put that snout AWAY it is not sniffing time right now

and thats what i would say if there could ever be a reason to put your snout away. its always sniffing time. i love you.

>#I love how this gag would be funny at any point since the third century BCE

today i rang up a customer at work for $13.36 and i said with such genuine cheer "uh-oh! two years before the plague hit England, if anyone cares!" and i watched the customer's eyes as they were clearly taken aback and then tried to pretend to be interested at all. they made such a valiant effort. they were like I don't wanna damper this guy's plague enthusiasm. They said, very awkwardly, "haha, uh-oh!"

Marius: anyway Lestat don't worry if this job is extremely tedious and isolating because I was watching these two for decades before they even acknowledged my existence hahaha Marius: so yeah don't be offended if Akasha doesn't like you or talk to you or acknowledge you that's just part of the job Marius: just enjoy the next several years of her withering silence as you wonder whether she even wants you around and what you're doing with your life Marius: ok bye Marius: -leaves- Akasha: -immediately- oh thank god he's gone anyway hi

i do not “delete sentences” when they start “hindering the plot” i COPY PASTE THEM into a SEPARATE DOC made just for keeping all my USELESS LINES that i will also NEVER USE so therefore i should JUST DELETE THEM but i DONT because id FEEL BAD if i did

You don't actually have to kill your darlings. You can just put them in the oubliette #myoubliette

you know you could’ve just said “no they don’t have wifi” and that would’ve answered the question

But then you wouldnt have known about the moose

The Reblog (2014)

Bahahahaha love this

The Unnecessary Comment (2014)

The Revival (2026)

Client comes in with a “small business owner” tshirt like are we supposed to give a fuck? Fucking disgusting display of crass self importance kys