in the garden of wind and thunder

The US senate is such a gaggle of old fucks that the old fuck everyone was sure dropped dead last week wasn't even the old fuck that dropped dead last week

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement

happy marx beam monday.

spraying my followers with my marx beam on this fine marx beam monday

motherfuckers arent ready for my famous "quadruple-edged sword". second it comes out the holster, blender maneuver. red paste. spin cycle. myself included. nonnegotiable. the SECOND i am frightened WE. ALL. DIE.

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

I'm going to be annoying about it and from now on will continue calling my recorder a 'blockflute' because that's a direct translations of what most European languages actually call it anyway and also is just straight up a better name

also as a way to distinguish it from the cheap plastic flutes preschoolers play in music class

Akasha probably found out about BBLs through the vampire hivemind and quickly decided it was time to wreak havoc on the world.